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I met someone in a shop the other day who told me about this poor gnome. Apparently he was standing in his normal place in his garden when another gas gnome came over and said he would duff him up unless he moved. He was so traumatised by this that he's left home and now lives with a kind City supporter.

£10 million

Just been leaked that Rovers new training ground will have a state of the art sprinkler system incorporating nanotechnology which is invisible to the naked eye so you will only know it’s there because chairman Stephen Hamster says so. Adapted to fit the geological features of Colony Farm and designed with sensors monitoring real time meteorological conditions at The Colony the system is called Colonic Irrigation.

I had a conversation with builders about starting work on building my self designed, luxury house on a plot of land that I've been gifted. It will be amazing! 12 bedrooms, all en-suite, a gym, a cinema room, a nightclub in the basement, a heli-pad on the roof, from where you can admire the cultivated gardens, 3 tennis courts, 50 metre pool, cricket nets and 5-a-side Astro turf pitch. They said they will start work as soon as I have some money to pay for it.

I've moved all the Henbury Gas nonsense into it's own thread @Red Army 75 I've a feeling it will end up in the classics section very soon

... and we're back on track. Thank you, Bert.

Or Portsmouth. Or Plymouth. Or Wigan. Or Doncaster. Or Peterborough. Or MK Dons.

You weren't in a computer repair shop by any chance?

Had a mildly interesting conversation with someone today who is rather close to the UWE stadium project () Nothing new said really. Funding still the number one problem, particularly the bridging money between sale of the Mem and completion of the UWE stadium, but there is of course now a shortfall due to the value of the Mem falling now Sainsburys won't be buying. It was however opined to me that the shortfall was not actually that significant, possibly £5m or less. All very confusing that a supposedly wealthy family with a banking background can't submit a business plan that stacks up An opinion on whether the UWE stadium would be built was sought and received: "No". Anyway, given the planning consent expires in January we are going to see Wael's hand very shortly.

Waiting for train back up north and see him looking at the departure board. Went over , said hello, asked where his side kick was to which he laughed and said he'd lost him, they'd been doing filming for next generation. Asked if he was still considering coming out of retirement like Benn, said not any more! Asked about AJ, said kiltschko people want the fight but he appears not keen. Said they earned 20 million each from previous fight. Said probably fight in Vegas next git AJ , didn't ask names to be far. Wished him well, quick photo and actually got on the same train.

Count yourself lucky you don't want it delivered to your holiday location! With the international postage charges, it might cost you a 'Taylor'.

Tony Robinson and his Time Team have expressed an interest.

On the Teflon lee thread I get told off for calling him little lee but it's funny to compare him to a garden gnome.I can't win

What about a gnome in our training tops..?

Please tell me this is a pi$$take? They are seriously selling Gnomes?. Jesus H.W. Christ Head of marketing at Sag HQ doing a belting job

I think this is exactly the problem. They are bankers who are used to looking at others business plans and deciding whether to fund them but with the premise there will be no risk to themselves. When Wael unwisely said “funding is never an issue with this sort of thing” he was thinking about financing commercial property not financing commercial property AND a business which has to earn enough to pay back all the borrowings on that property. He was forgetting as well the start up costs for such a business and the huge working capital requirements because projects of this kind don’t generate any cash for a very many years and where a football club is part of it probably never at all. This is not a project for a risk averse banking family there has to be someone involved who is willing to put up a lot of cash and is prepared to lose it if it fails.

Rovers have a new home ... sorry gnome

Recently made the Welsh senior squad and so mixing with players who can tell him what life is like on "the outside" Improved performance last season with Stoke City loanee defender alongside him and likely to go backwards again playing with mediocrities if Rovers are not going to invest in quality.. Football is a short career so you have to grab opportunities when they come up.

What is Lockyer likely to command in a fee.?.........and who is he.

Fair play. I only go on this thread to cheer me up . Gas *****

If he's good enough to play GK, RB, LW & CF, all at the same time, then yeah, they could probably afford £6 per week.

Ill let you know when they lose to Yate town tomorrow, for my sins i live in Yate so will be popping along for a drinking session with some gashead mates. Should be some comedy on display.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhh! I've just found it. I need eye bleach !! and the gas have just signed him? WTF. Who next? Nile Ranger!

Nothing in particular today, but if you want to watch their new goal keeper racially abusing and fcuking a lady boy, with his mates, then the links are still available via his Wikipedia page!

WTF is going on . Friendlies start tomorrow. Thank **** . Darrell Clarke wanks off dogs .

Yes, and many viewers mistakenly thought that when Mrs Slocombe mentioned “my pussy” she was referring to her private part when in fact she meant her pet cat. I was fortunate enough to meet Mollie Sugden many times when she was appearing at the Hippodrome in the 1960’s and can confirm that “my beaver” was the name she gave to her private part.

Or Bradford....

The thing is mate, it'll probably be a really good fight, so, I haven't decided... Anthony Yarde tomorrow night, looks the real deal so far...

I got these 2 for fathers day :-)

I'm not surprised VK doesn't want the rematch. He's had a pretty easy life for the past 10 years as champ and has had a great career. He tasted the power against AJ, and I suspect it really hurt! At his age does he really want or need to go back in with such a dangerous fighter?

I bet that weirdo Watkins has got one of these

I have to say thats very good

Who knows what's true anymore? For all we know the Gnome could have just been taken for a wash down and a new carpet.

True story.

Another couple of wickets before close of day & it should put us firmly in control. We just need to press home this pressure we are currently building.

A mate down the road has got one of these. i'm trying to find a time to kidnap the bleedin' thing and take it on holiday then send the gashead a postcard of his gnome on a Bristol City beach towel.

I'd suggest a lot less. There are various opinions on what is the average weekly salary in league 1, but the site below is reasonable - between £1,700 - £2,500. The problem with averages is that they don't tell you the individual incidences or the range. There will be some clubs with a big budget who have players on much higher salaries and some poor clubs with young players who have lower salaries. Rovers, who are losing money, are not a rich club and have players who were signed in non league or league 2 days. Therefore their average salary should be somewhere near the lower end of the scale http://www.onaverage.co.uk/money-averages/average-premier-league-salary

FACT

Shouldnt happen full stop No reason to over step what so ever (Bar brown envelopes full of cash)

Nearly one and a half million views. Most real stand up comics would kill for those sort of figures and the g*s don`t even realise they`re doing it!

Judging by how angry it seems to make you, I'd suggest that you do

Oh the irony.

When people say they find that lot funny, are they actually serious? God it winds me up. The utter ignorance, the bile, the viciousness for absolutely no reason. The desire for an echochamber, all of it. It makes me want to put my head through a large, thick wall.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.'Good morning, he said, "I've come to...""Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." 'Have you really?" Said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" Gasped Mrs. Smith. "In my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" Asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" Said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied, "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh .. . . .equipment?" "It's true, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand for very long." Mrs. Smith fainted.

Indeed, and Plymouth fans have been grateful ever since.

Yes Pongo I am aware and I do take precautions. For example, when out and about in Bristol I disguise myself by wearing a red shirt with Lancer Scott printed on the front. Since Lancer has never been known to criticise Rovers’ owners I am always quite safe.