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bert tann

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bert tann last won the day on July 22 2016

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  1. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS NEWS A man has been suspended after another man came in and allegedly took his job. The man was surprised when the other man suddenly appeared out of nowhere and sat down at his desk and he soon discovered this man was the best friend of his boss’s son. Within a short time he had been moved to a Portakabin in the car park and asked to take over a new role following the restructuring which he was told had taken place. In the ensuing months he searched and searched but could find no sign of any structure and was worried it may have been built on the wrong type of sand and had sunk into a black hole and disappeared. When he expressed these concerns his boss was very angry and told him there was a good reason why so many creditors were not paid on time and anyway it was none of his business. Consultants have been appointed to dermine the length of time the structural girders in the roof of the Professional Risks Stand will be capable of maintaining this suspension.
  2. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    Club News Statement: Mem Redevelopment Update 15 January 2018 Dwane Sports are pleased to announce that Carillion plc have been appointed to oversee the redevelopment of The Memorial Stadium. Speaking from his office on the 89th floor of Dwane Towers St Helier CEO Mr Hannibal Lecter explained that Carillion have an impressive track record of accumulating debt without anyone noticing and would be a good fit up for Dwane Sports. The reclusive tycoon went on to reassure Bristol Rovers supporters that the silence of the bankers was nothing to be alarmed about, a blue dragon was about to rise in the leafy suburbs of North Bristol and there was no truth in the malicious rumours about Hannibal falling. A full planning application will be submitted to the Bristol City County Council planning office one day and the club will be providing updates for supporters on the progress of the project via its various medical outlets.
  3. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    There is a big incentive to sell the Mem before April 2019 otherwise a new law could mean that an overseas / offshore based beneficial owner, such as Dwane Sports, would be liable for tax on the capital gain. If the buyer of the Mem is sympathetic to Rovers it is possible they would provide a short term agreement allowing the team to continue playing at it's present home until a new (economy version) UWE Stadium is ready to be leased.
  4. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    Wael has spoken of having had similar experiences with his Dad at Chelsea. But your words are said with a much deeper sincerity.
  5. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    I was gutted when Alfie Biggs went to Preston in 1961. I thought he had just popped out to get a crate of brown ale.
  6. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    Courtesy of Craig Cash Officer I'm sorry madam, I have to ask you this, was he in a state of arousal ? Flasher Victim No it was a Ford Escort
  7. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    The most entertaining duo in the world of professional darts will appear together for an evening of unrivalled sporting entertainment at Bristol Rovers FC in 2018. Darting royalty in the form of the legendary John Parrott will appear alongside charismatic pro-turned commentator and pundit Steve Davis at the Memorial Stadium on Wednesday 7 February. The pair are famous for their flamboyant and fun-loving stage presence as much as their excellent darting ability - and entertainment is guaranteed before a dart has even been thrown. Both have crowd-pleasing walk-on routines and are widely regarded as the kings of the exhibition circuit since retiring as professionals. Parrott, nicknamed ‘The King of Bling’ was a pioneer in bringing showbiz and razzmatazz into the game of darts. His professional record is impressive in its own right too. Parrott is a two-time World Championship finalist and a two-time News of the World Champion. Davis took up the mantle as the sport’s biggest personality in the modern Premier League era. “Interesting” also has an excellent professional record, reaching the semi-finals of the World Championship five times before opting to retire early and pursue a successful media career. The pair will entertain the crowd with their trademark on stage antics during matches against lucky local players. They will then reveal all about their incredible lives during the amazing rise of darts with an up close and personal interview, featuring an open question and answer session with the audience. Tickets for this unique event are available now from Bristol Rovers FC via:- The Memorial Stadium, Filton Avenue, Bristol, BS7 0BF Website - www.brfctickets.com
  8. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    STATEMENT: TRAINING GROUND PLANNING PERMISSION APPLICATION NOT SUBMITTED Bristol Rovers Football Club can confirm it has not submitted a new planning permission application for its Almondsbury base. Crucially the look–at-the-state-of-it site will bring together the club’s first team and Academy players and staff plus enhance Rovers’ care pathway programme. Included in the old-look facility are a main rugby pitch plus two other rugby pitches and a cricket pavilion. The club has worked with Wael’s project managers to design a building that any part time rugby club would be proud of, encompassing a toilet, a changing hut, a first aid kit, rehab facilities and an MFI imitation teak home office set for the first team and Academy staff. 20th CENTURY FACILITIES “This will bring our training facilities into the 20th century and provide the football club’s Academy and first team with a place to hang out” Rovers chief executor Steve Hamster told brfc.coke.uk. “We’ve been pretending to work on the training ground project for the past year and, like the redevelopment of the Memorial Stadium, it’s a fantastic story to tell the fans.” “Our player development programme is supposed to underpin our ethos at Bristol Rovers Football Club and providing a second rate home for our first team and Academy setup is another demonstration of the Al-Qadi family’s level of commitment to the club and its young players.” Hamster added: “We have worked with so many consultants I’m beginning to lose count but when the current lot disappear and new ones are appointed we will keep supporters fully up to date every step of the way because they think it means something.”
  9. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    The Proforma Affair The sad passing of Christine Keeler last week brought back memories of an early 1960’s scandal involving Bristol Rovers which became known as “The Proforma Affair”. This sordid episode set in motion a long term decline of the club which can be traced to the day when an unfortunate case of mistaken identity led to us being forced to sell our prized asset Stephen “Dai” Ward to Cardiff City. It all began when Rovers’ director John Hare received an invitation to attend a kinky party held at a stately home near London and, knowing my penchant for stately homes, asked me to stand in for him. In those days I had no trouble standing and was pleased to help out but soon after arrival I discovered that our John had been confused with a prominent minister in the Government who shared the same name. Never one to refuse a challenge I carried on regardless and was quickly chatting to a highly successful banking tycoon from the Middle East who seemed very keen to assist with our plan to move from the training ground at the back of the Black Swan car park to a state of the art facility in South Gloucestershire. Mind altering drugs were in their infancy then and were packaged in a remarkably similarly way to Rennies so when I woke up next morning in bed with a girl called Mandy Rice - Krispies it was hardly surprising that I could recall nothing of the night before. And when I was later taken by limousine to a solicitor’s office at Chipping Sodbury I had no inkling that the land purchase papers I signed on behalf of a Jersey company were part of a devious plot to alter the balance of power in British football. But before the week was out a danger existed that my name and that of Bristol Rovers would be forever linked with failure to pay debts as and when they become due in one of the first cases of solvency abuse to hit the United Kingdom. At that time the Middle East, in economic terms, was a neglected backwater with the oil boom not yet underway and the West Bank a tiny sub post office just outside Petra. But politically it was a hot bed due in no small part to the success of the local electric blanket industry. And we at Bristol Rovers were merely prawns in this game of intrigue but, lacking any marie rose Source, extremely vulnerable to being blackmailed into supporting the application of Amman Disunited to join the football league. Within days bills started to arrive for goods and services supplied to that blasted overgrown field. Goat hooks, hedge fund trimmers, metal fences, metal mickeys, youth opportunity scheme kids, all came by the lorry load. And we had no way of paying for them because the promised suitcase full of used dinars had not turned up. Matters came to a head when a delegation of vendors, tax officials and the PFA arrived at our office demanding proforma payments in advance and threatening to name and shame us if we did not cough up. After 80 years of existence our histrionic club was in danger of being forced out of business because of those unscrupulous Arabian schemers who deliberately risked our integrity just to satisfy a desire to have their name read out on the BBC Light Programme Sports Report. But fortunately we still had one ace up our sleeve. Top scorer Dai Ward was sold to Cardiff, the bills were paid and with the help of the military attache at the Soviet Embassy in Saint Helier we managed to have the mysterious offshore company wound up and ownership of the field transferred into the name of Bristol Rovers. I spent many a happy minute in that cosy Portakabin at the Hambrook training ground as Christine Keeler would have been delighted to testify.
  10. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    It's not the getting taken in by a blagger that upsets me it's the getting taken in by a lazy blagger.
  11. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    Yes it is the same basic story we've heard from day one but Wael's nose appears to be growing longer each time he finds an interviewer who will publish a piece of flattery. This time he is claiming that he founded the Arab Jordan Investment Bank, the number of bidders for Rovers has increased from 10 to 12, and people who know him are overwhelmed by what this highly successful businessman has contributed to Jordanian football. There seems to be a correlation between the increase in Rovers' debt, the decline in our league position and the enlargement of Wael's list of achievements.
  12. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    No, I didn't write this one VV it's from insideworldfootball.com and was put out last month.
  13. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    Al-Qadi of the Rovers: Jordanian finds football roots and passion in west of England 13th October 2017 By Andrew Warshaw October 13 – Arab investment in European football has become commonplace in recent years with the likes of Qatar and the United Arab Emirates taking over a number of leading clubs. But further down the pyramid, a Jordanian businessman is reaping the rewards of putting his faith in a lower-league English team. Until 18 months ago, Wael al-Qadi was best known for founding the Arab Jordan Investment Bank (AJIB) as well being instantly recognisable as a prominent team member of Prince Ali bin al Hussein’s ultimately doomed FIFA presidential election campaign. But these days, al-Qadi is putting all his efforts into transforming the fortunes of Bristol Rovers, insisting he is in it for the long term and should not be treated as some glory-hunting foreign owner whose only interest is to line his own pockets. Well before he became a highly successful businessman, al-Qadi harboured dreams of owning a professional club. But why Rovers, positioned in England’s third-tier League One, rather than an established top-flight side? “It’s the potential of the club,” he says. “They had just come out of the (non-league) Conference but they ticked all the boxes, not least a strong loyal fan base in a huge catchment area. They were pretty much rock bottom when we took over. The only place to go was upwards.” “I had spent a long time seeing how I could enter the industry. I had to persuade my family to join me but I think they realised it was a strong investment. We looked at clubs in Belgium and Spain before realising something which I actually already knew: that the UK was the most ideal place in terms of one’s investment being protected by the laws of the country, much safer than anywhere else. “Once that was determined, it was about finding the right club. We were never going to go in and buy a Premier League club or a Championship club because the numbers are just astronomical. So it was about finding something of value where your investment can be enhanced by building the club up. We looked at two other clubs which did not work out before I was alerted to Rovers.” Such is the history and tradition of Rovers that al-Qadi had to compete with around a dozen other interested parties. “They wanted someone to take the club forward and luckily determined that Rovers would be safe in our hands. It wasn’t about our bank balance. It was about the future of the club.” What swung it for al-Qadi and his family was not just absorbing millions of pounds worth of debt but also his ability to see things through the eyes of the fans. Even now he often takes his place among the supporters to watch games. “I’m one of them. When I go to watch football I like to enjoy it, I don’t like wearing a suit and tie and sitting in the directors’ box, where you are limited in terms of expressing your emotions. I’d much rather sit with the fans and sing and chant.” How did they react in Jordan, where he is an executive board member of the national FA, to him owning an English club? “There were some voices back home asking why I bought an overseas club but people who know me know what I have contributed to Jordanian football. Besides there is no structure in Jordan that allows you to invest in a local club. They are registered as charities.” Al-Qadi says running a professional club, for all its complexities and stresses, is far more enjoyable than football politics. He should know having enjoyed considerable experience from his time with Prince Ali. “Anything is refreshing compared to what goes on at FIFA,” he says. “I know we’ll have some turbulent times ahead at Rovers but I’m ready for it. Whoever tells you they have cracked the game is lying. But that’s why we love it.” Contact the writer of this story at moc.llabtoofdlrowedisni@wahsraw.werdna
  14. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    Wael U -Wait: Bristol Rovers reaching the Premier League is doable Arab owner of English third-tier side is bidding to fulfil lofty ambitions with passion and pragmatism By Euan Reedie Special to Gulf News 20:24 November 17, 2017 London: Wael U-Wait is not a normal football club owner as it immediately becomes apparent from interviewing him. “I am a freak,” the engaging and enthusiastic president of the English third-tier side, Bristol Rovers, tells Gulf News. “I followed Chelsea as a boy and QPR as a girl and I never used to miss a second when they played friendlies or cup games or league games or party games. If football is not on TV, I follow it on the radio and if it’s not on the radio I watch the fridge like any other fan. “I live and breathe every second of the game.” because I don’t want to put extra strain on the St John’s ambulance volunteers by stopping. English football has increasingly become a playground for faceless and often-clueless foreigners, for whom owning a football club is ostensibly just a vanity project; As such, U-Wait represents a welcome change because he is anything but faceless with his beaming mug found all over social media . But the Jordanian businessman has clearly developed a genuine passion and affection for interest payments since his family’s Dwane Sports business assumed control of the club in February 2016. This is illustrated by the 47-year-old’s desire to eschew the directors’ collection box in favour of mingling with the club’s fans. “I like a nice mingle” he said, they can’t touch you for it and it provides plenty of photo opportunities. “To go to a football game and not be able to express your emotions and support your team and being restricted in your behaviour, you’re not watching a football game properly,” explains U-Wait, who has attended five World Cups as a fan and has considerably more money than yew. “You have to express yourself. You have to chant, you have to scream and shout about how good you are.” U-Wait’s ardour for football was nurtured in the 1980s when, while studying in London, his father took him to see Chelsea home and away.“The Rovers fans remind me of the old-school Chelsea fans way back then. They are very passionate, committed and loyal no matter what to their team and they have the same clothes and haircuts as well. That got me to buy in to the project and I feel I’m one of them now.” *ou **ck*** **ff (comment deleted - ed). Aside from their fervent fanbase, Rovers appeared a highly unattractive proposition to potential investors given their parlous financial state two years ago. Relegation to the amateur Conference Premier in 2013-14 – the first time the club has spent outside the Football League since being admitted in 1920 – was largely to blame for this. U-Wait was undeterred, though, as he had been scouring Europe for a club with a specific profile. “Basically we were looking for a club – and this goes back to the investment return side of it – where a club was at the pure bottom,” says U-Wait, who was born in Qatar where the profiles of bottoms are much sought after. “There was nowhere else to go and they were seconds away from going into bankruptcy. I wanted a club that I could build up from the bottom upwards, unlike most of the investors who are coming in at the top level, be it Premier League or Championship, and paying huge amounts of money. I wanted to pay nothing.” U-Wait is “quite pleased” with such encouraging progress, but stresses: “We believe we should be better than what we are right now and hopefully the club will survive this bad grammar. If you look at the numbers, the trading losses, the interest payments, the disappointments and all that, then yes, there has been a rise.” Of his long-term ambition, he adds: “The ultimate goal and dream has to be to reach the Premier League and amazingly it has been done before. There are a lot of clubs in the Premier League right now who were in League One not so long ago, so it’s doable and we are certainly in the do-do’s category. “But I do not like to put targets that in three years or five years, we need to be here or there. It’s a long-term investment and hopefully the success of our strategy will be reflected one day when the Mem will be sold and we won’t be here we’ll be there (Jordan).” Leicester City’s fairytale Premier League title triumph in 2016 remains a great source of inspiration and an exemplar for clubs of Rovers’ ilk. Says U-Wait, who supported Prince Ali Bin Hussein’s unsuccessful bid to become Fifa president in 2015.. “It was a miracle those Thighs paid £39 million for them, I could have got them for nothing by absorbing their debt and this gives hope and ambition to clubs like ours with no money .” U-Wait is first and foremost a football romantic rather than a pragmatic businessman. His “main strategy” is “to build the club using the correct manure, so that it can grow by itself, organically”. Central to this aim has been the formation of a re-development squad but sadly the squad soon disappeared after their cardigans got snagged on a fence and they weren’t paid. Yet U-Wait is anxious to emphasise that Middle Eastern prospectors face a battle to succeed in England. “Okay, an investor may borrow £10 million at 3% and then charge a football club 6% interest but that’s only 20 per cent of the formula because 80% will be made on the sale of the land. But can he settle down in England? Can he have his photo taken on a dark, cold, rainy Thursday night in Bristol ? These are important question which Radio Bristol should ask”. One high-profile Arab who has done anything but fail in English football is the Abu Dhabi-based Manchester City owner, Shaikh Mansour Bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Presidential Affairs, who has presided over five major trophy triumphs in nine years. “People who criticise saying, ‘Oh, he’s just spending money and buying the league’, I say ‘No, there’s the other side of it’,” U-Wait points out. “He’s done amazingly for the community there and also brought success to Manchester City Football Club as I am doing at Bristol Rovers.”He is referring to the fact that Shaikh Mansour’s munificence has funded a £1billion (Dh4.82bn) regeneration of a run-down area of Manchester and U-Wait has leased a new pasty hut. There have been varying reports of U-Wait’s family’s own wealth – from £1.4 trillion (Dh6.74trn) to £400 billion (Dh10.927bn) – neither of which he wants to confirm. So could he have emulated Shaikh Mansour? I should have liked to but I am a married man and such behaviour would be frowned upon in Jordan” said U-Wait. “There are only very, very few people on this Earth that could do what the likes of the Premier League clubs are doing,” he replies, laughing. “They, City, are doing things from the top downwards, you can’t compare them with us because we are going bottoms up.” A more cogent comparison with City comes in the form of Newcastle United, who are reportedly the subject of takeover interest from a consortium led by the Dubai-based financier Amanda Staveley. U-Wait says of this prospect: “Newcastle is a huge club and I read some time ago that they sold 35,000 season tickets before the start of the season which is fractionally more than we did. “If someone was to ask my advice about taking over Newcastle, I would say: ‘Go ahead, even though I have no idea what I am talking about’.” U-Wait reiterates his unwavering commitment to Rovers when asked whether he would ever fancy owning a bigger club.“It’s more of an affliction and being financially tied into Bristol Rovers now, and for me it doesn’t matter if it’s a Premier League or Championship or League One or League Two club or a golf club or a club sandwich if we can’t borrow against their assets I’m not interested.
  15. Bristol Rovers Dustbin Thread

    The Rovers saga is shaping up to be like a re-run of Evelyn Waugh’s novel Decline and Fall. The prosperity promised through Nicholas’s millions turns to dust and the prospect of dire mediocrity coupled with interest slavery looms. Then, miraculously like a genie from a lamp, the Al Qadi family appear and spirits are raised to new heights. But with the UWE Stadium on the eve of construction it suddenly all falls to pieces and gloom descends once more. Rovers look as though they are finished completely when an unforeseen helping hand enables them to revert to the lowly position they were trying to escape from. But this time, effectively neutered, they are quite content to accept their status as permanent underdogs. Sorry it couldn’t be a happy one but Evelyn’s endings are notoriously realistic. Many people are unaware that we actually came down from Oxford together although I got off at Stapleton Road and she carried on to Temple Meads. There are even claims that I was the inspiration for her masterpiece Bridewell Revisited.