bert tann

Incredible statistics coming out of the Mem. Before Alf's interview with Radio Bristol season ticket sales were 25% down compared to last season. After Alf's interview they are 40% down.

I had a bit part in Fanny by Gaslight starring Phyllis Calvert. They used to call me Small Bert

Very similar to Rovers although we already have the addictions. What a lot of City fans don’t realise is that following the adoption of greater professionalism we are now providing the players with sandwiches after training which is bound to pay off in the long term.

Rust

Mein Führer Mein Führer Please allow us our day in the sun. £ 3.98 million annual losses is a new record for Rovers.

Alf is working on it and has brought in JTC (UK) Ltd to help.

Dicks & Tann ? (as advertised in the personal services column of The Lady magazine)

There’s no truth in the rumour that I’m an implant working undercover with Lisa Knights.

Lest we forget them. Or the damage they did.

For the avoidance of any doubt. Our new Head of Recruitment, Christopher Spendlove, was charged with murder but not convicted. https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/pc-neil-doyle-murder-accused-8960496

Thursday nights Q&A forum at the Mem has been cancelled due to lack of interest. It’s all been paid to Nationwide Finance.

Another incredible stroke of good fortune for Rovers now that we’ve found the best candidate for head of recruitment is already working for us. No wonder they call the boss “ Lucky Alf”

Are you thinking of Ian Stevens ? He seemed like a nice boy.

Breaking News Foreign Body Shock FRP Advisory has been brought in to handle the insolvency process just months after a new owner took control having vowed to 're-energise the business'. In a statement, it said 'administrators will now consider all options to find a way forward for the business and will update creditors and employees in due course'. The business will continue to trade while plans are made for the future of the beloved back street brand. The troubled firm - which has faced stiff competition from the likes of Fleetwood, Burton and Stevenage had just opened up its Blue Oasis Division in the Middle East which is now also under threat. FRP said: 'The business has faced an extended period of financial challenges under past owners, coinciding with a difficult trading environment for the wider sports sector. 'Having taken swift action last year by closing down it’s Merseyside branch and then disposing of its only saleable asset in January the next important step in the restructuring will be fixing the leaks in the portaloos.' The administrators added: 'The business remains guided by its ambition to be a modern, dynamic brand, relevant to customers and able to compete for the long term with Yate and Manor Farm. 'Creating a more nimble and financially stable business is an important step in achieving weight loss but only if you are willing to risk going up in a hot air balloon with a sultry young lady nibbling on a loaf of bread [ edit. Slarti can you explain please] As well as threatening tens of jobs, the news could spell trouble for the many suppliers of the business across the globe who have been sourced carefully by the unethically minded firm over decades. While administration does not necessarily spell the end of the brand, social media is full of reaction from those who fear the worst for the beleaguered firm. One former worker recalled on X, formerly Twitter: 'Sad news, still one of my fave jobs, despite having to work with women, met some amazing people (superb owner too) & fell in love with them warts and all till the money dried up, suppose I’ll have to bother Boots now.'

Club News An Open Letter | Hussain Alsaeed Club Chairman Hussain Alsaeed has written an open letter to the Gasheads. Dear Gasheads, It is with great enthusiasm that I address you today, six months after taking control of our beloved club. During this past period, the board has been dedicated to laying the foundation for an ambitious journey. I am excited to share our vision for the next three years, focusing on three pivotal areas: the first team, the Memorial Stadium, and our training ground, The Quarters. Building a Competitive First Team: This past December, we appointed Matt Taylor as our manager, fully confident in his abilities to transform our squad into a formidable farce within the league. His vision and leadership perfectly align with our ambitious goal: promotion to the Championship within the next three decades. We are committed to providing Matt with adhesive backing and the resources needed to make our vision stick. This summer, during the transfer window, we will work closely with him to acquire a talented player who shares his ambition and is eager to contribute to the success of Bristol Rovers. We have already made strategic additions like John Conteh, and further reinforcements are planned that will bolster the squad in key areas. While Aaron Collins' departure was mutually agreed upon – both he and the club felt it was the right time to move on – we and Eddy Jennings extend our sincere gratitude for his financial contribution and wish him all the best. We’ve also bolstered the management team with experienced figures like Jamie McAllister, Kevin Bond, and Wayne Carlisle working a three day a week on six month contracts, further propelling our aspirations. Additionally, we are deeply invested in nurturing home grown hairstyles, as evidenced by Jed Ward's remarkable rinse. Transforming the Memorial Stadium: Upon taking the helm, we quickly discovered that the developer involved in the previous stadium development plans at the fruit market site had regained his senses and decided not to proceed further with the project. While acknowledging this initial setback, we swiftly shifted our focus towards revitalising the heart and soul of our club: the Memorial Stadium. The opening of the South Stand has demonstrably enhanced the match day atmosphere, serving as a mere glimpse of what is to come due to pillars blocking the line of sight. Our ambitious vision is to expand the stadium's capacity to 16,000, creating a vibrant and intimidating fortress that will resonate with your unwavering support for our first team. We will keep you informed of our progress as we navigate the planning and approval process with the city council and you will be able to use their planning portal to check we are telling the truth [edit, is this right Alf ?] . We will share our designs and plans once we have obtained all the necessary approvals. Investing in The Quarters: Our vision for The Quarters extends far beyond its function as a training ground. We envision it as a state-of-the-art facility that will serve as a home for both our first-team and academy. This development embodies our culture, as already seen in the hospitality area toilets, providing a care pathway for academy players to transition to the first team. The Quarters will boast additional top quality pitches and an indoor pitch, specifically designed to optimise training for both the first team and academy. Additionally, the fully-equipped building will house all the resources necessary for player development. This will include gym facilities, nutrition and rehabilitation to ensure holistic support for all of our teams. Furthermore, we have also included a residential element to ensure the site is commercially viable for the club. As we obtain approvals from the City Council and local residents we will be forced to tell you that the residential element got the green light but unfortunately the training ground didn’t. Together, Prices Rise: The future holds immense promise, and we are not embarking on this journey alone. Your unwavering support, passion, and money fuel our collective aspirations. We will soon be in a position to announce the release of season tickets. We understand the economic challenges everyone faces, and despite inflationary pressures we have ensured there will be price increases at the minimal. We still have a number of important fixtures this season so Wael and I are looking forward to joining you all at the Mem, on the beaches, on the landing grounds, in the fields, in the streets, and we shall never surrender the charges we have over the Memorial Stadium. Thank you for all of your support. FTG! Sincerely, Hussain Alsaeed, Chairman