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Bristol R*vers dustbin thread


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35 minutes ago, Bristol Rob said:

I see that the treasurer of their supporters club was in court today.

Charged with robbing 'half an Andy Tilson' from their coffers.

Are you sure it was the supporters club account and not the entire content of "billionaire" wael's account..?

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                                                                                Ex manager exposed more than the truth

A former football manager has escaped jail after admitting he ran away with the club’s conscience. Mr Bert Tann (103) of no fixed address told the jury he became upset after owners and directors of a well known local team made promises they knew they couldn’t keep and deliberately kept supporters in the dark to cover up their inadequacies. A culture of deceit existed and fans were so gullible they believed everything they were told he said before breaking down and collapsing just outside of the witness box.

Prosecuting Counsel Taffy Hamster said it was well known that people own football clubs purely to impress their friends and have their photograph taken with glamorous stars so they had no obligation to tell the truth. Tann was aware of this and had stolen the conscience knowing it was the club’s property and had been used to secure borrowings.

Defence witness, Mayor of Almondsbury Councillor Brian Envelope, said he understood Tann’s motives completely. They promised me the earth, he said, but ended up dumping a great heap of soil on the land making it an even worse eyesore. The look of that field is putting off decent people from relocating to the area and I only wish some gypsies would move onto the site to improve it’s appearance.

Summing up for the defence Mr Ted Shyt said Tann had become addicted to discovering the truth and couldn’t stop exposing himself to it. The issue at hand was whether he was right to speak out or whether it was best for all concerned if fans remained in blissful ignorance.  Citing the case of Magnum Carta vs Tyrannosaurus Rex he said it was clear in law that fans had been promised decadent silky smooth rich dark Jordanian opulence but actually received a Mr Whippy 99’er with a broken cone. There was no crime in being a Cheepster, he claimed, but to pretend that at any time you liked you could simply Telegram Sami and have the cash wired over was a cruel hoax which deserved to be revealed.

After a guilty verdict was returned Mrs Justice Proudman summed up by describing Tann as a fine upstanding gentleman whom she wouldn’t mind taking back to chambers for a dry sherry if only he had been fifty years younger. However the law obliged her to inflict an appropriate punishment and she therefore sentenced him to attend the Memorial Stadium between 3pm and 5pm every other Saturday till the baliffs move in.

 

Edited by bert tann
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1 minute ago, pride of the west said:

Apparently wally has taken great interest in how she managed to pull the wool over everyone's eyes for so long

Her sentence was suspended because the judge thought a custodial would be too difficult for her to comprehend, after years of being locked out, being locked in was likely to be beyond her.

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8 minutes ago, Bristol Rob said:

Her sentence was suspended because the judge thought a custodial would be too difficult for her to comprehend, after years of being locked out, being locked in was likely to be beyond her.

Joking aside...suspended sentence, really?

I bet if she dishonestly nicked a couple of hundred from the DWP she would have got life !

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Just now, slartibartfast said:

Joking aside...suspended sentence, really?

I bet if she dishonestly nicked a couple of hundred from the DWP she would have got life !

Repaid the money, loss of reputation, loss of family home, addiction issue and a guilty plea...

Would there be any value in tax payers shelling out ten of thousands a year for someone who is unlikely to offend again and will struggle to get a job in a charity shop if it involves handling money?

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From the same thread linked above about some of the sags stealing season tickets, instead of using their hard earned job-seekers allowance to buy them:

Quote

So what will happen now when a game is sold out, someone desperately wants a ticket and a season ticket holder has one going spare cos his season ticket mate can't go? 

Written like its a regular occurrence :facepalm: 

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3 hours ago, Bristol Rob said:

Repaid the money, loss of reputation, loss of family home, addiction issue and a guilty plea...

Would there be any value in tax payers shelling out ten of thousands a year for someone who is unlikely to offend again and will struggle to get a job in a charity shop if it involves handling money?

It really is a terribly sad case. I don't know her incredibly well, but she has been around the club for years and Rovers were a huge part of her- and her husbands- life. Obviously no one can condone what she has lost her home in paying it all back and I imagine that she will regret her actions every day for the rest of her life.

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Come on, give the poor buggers a break. I can imagine the board meeting now:

"Gentleman, we have a tough choice to make. It's either a new sprinkler, a spruce up of the carpets and curtains, a few plastic chairs and give the canopy a quick once over or..... we invest in an electronic ticketing system"

"Well it's a no brainer.... the carpets. That way we may get a tenner left over to invest in a few new players"

 

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10 minutes ago, Miah Dennehy said:

It really is a terribly sad case. I don't know her incredibly well, but she has been around the club for years and Rovers were a huge part of her- and her husbands- life. Obviously no one can condone what she has lost her home in paying it all back and I imagine that she will regret her actions every day for the rest of her life.

Addiction is an illness and my taxes would be better spend funding treatment than punishing someone who has probably already lost everything that was both normal and important to them. Certainly a better spend than the double punishment of locking them up.

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38 minutes ago, Miah Dennehy said:

It really is a terribly sad case. I don't know her incredibly well, but she has been around the club for years and Rovers were a huge part of her- and her husbands- life. Obviously no one can condone what she has lost her home in paying it all back and I imagine that she will regret her actions every day for the rest of her life.

Missed a couple of words there! That should have read 'No one can condone what she has done and she has lost her home in paying it all back'

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1 hour ago, Miah Dennehy said:

It really is a terribly sad case. I don't know her incredibly well, but she has been around the club for years and Rovers were a huge part of her- and her husbands- life. Obviously no one can condone what she has lost her home in paying it all back and I imagine that she will regret her actions every day for the rest of her life.

Well said Miah, I have a great deal of sympathy for her to be honest, gambling is a terrible addiction, she's paid the money back and lost everything, she's been punished enough, absolutely not in the public interest for her to go to prison 

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12 minutes ago, Super said:

To be fair, I would have thought this was way beyond the intellect of some of the blue few I have met. Complex problem solving should not be evolving in gasheads for another 2 million years. Also more proof of the lies about their attendances! :whistle2:

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