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I'm watching 'Being Mum and Dad' (Merged)


Bristol Rob

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7 minutes ago, Bristol Rob said:

This is heart breaking but equally liberating, grief isn't the emotion of the average Joe.

Grief Is pretty much the biggest emotion any average Joe will have in their life.

This programme  may help a lot, but likewise will also make others very angry.

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1 minute ago, Dollymarie said:

Not sure I should be watching this whilst I'm feeling tired and emotional :sad26:

The Doris is in bits having lost her father at a young age to Cancer.

I'm sitting in admiration of a bloke who has to suddenly take on a role he never expected. 

I hope people who have been through similar recognise and take comfort from his investigation.

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5 minutes ago, Dollymarie said:

Being the daughter of a not so nice man, I won't miss him when he goes. Was gutted when I lost another father figure to cancer a couple of years ago though. 

Cant imagine what the couple who lost their baby have been through though. 

This show is depressingly correct.

Not easy watching, but essential.

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I unfortunately like I suspect alot others of our age and generation, whilst living with my dad, actually knew very little about him or his emotions. I know that he was shown little love by his parents and consequently was ill-equipped to show any love to us. He died of cancer in 1991 and I still miss him but am unsure why. He would have been 96 now and I still wonder whether given the benefit of maturity and wisdom I would known him any better. (I suspect not.)

Good programme by the way. Nice to see another side to a celebrity footballer under circumstances which we all anticipate with dread.

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13 hours ago, Dollymarie said:

The only other side to this, is that he cheated on her a bunch of times, so maybe some of his tears are guilt related to that. 

Doesn't stop him being a brilliant dad obviously. :) 

Was it not ten separate times? That may be just rumours. It was a moving programme, still.

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I dont suppose they'd have got much of an audience if it had been about one of the other 74 men below 50 who are widowed every day in the UK. This country is so bloody celebrity/personality obsessed. 

I wouldn't wish Rio what has happened and wish him well and hope he and his kids come to terms with their grief and can move on. 

 

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Just now, Super said:

like you said doesn't stop him being a great dad, just a scumbag.

Oh completely. I was just a bit tired of twitter by the end of the programme making him out to be some sort of saint who'd never done a thing wrong in his life. I'm sure he's a fabulous dad. Just hope one day when his kids are old enough to find stuff out for themselves, he has those answers ready :) 

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Just now, redapple said:

I dont suppose they'd have got much of an audience if it had been about one of the other 74 men below 50 who are widowed every day in the UK. This country is so bloody celebrity/personality obsessed. 

 

No they probably wouldn't, but I expect it would have been a lot more interesting.  I would much rather have learnt how that guy from Warrington(?) came to terms with his situation.  He must still be going through the mill just 6 months after his kid died. And learning a bit more about the support groups would have been good too.  Did Rio actually use them?  It didn't seem so, just took one idea from one.

Fair play for sticking himself out there though when he has been internalising his grief.

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58 minutes ago, Dollymarie said:

Oh completely. I was just a bit tired of twitter by the end of the programme making him out to be some sort of saint who'd never done a thing wrong in his life. I'm sure he's a fabulous dad. Just hope one day when his kids are old enough to find stuff out for themselves, he has those answers ready :) 

I'm sure his money helps him be a brilliant Dad, nice home & everything they could ever want here (apart from their Mum obviously) & a nice holiday home in Portugal to be able to take them away whenever he wants.

The majority of people who go through similar aren't so lucky to of been able to earn an obscene amount of money at such a young age & to continue earning such vast sums from what in theory amounts from just watching football. There are so many other people out there who go through similar that have to scrimp & save & work very long hours just to put food on the table.

I'm in no way belittling what Rio has had to go through, it's just a little harder to feel real sorrow for someone who treats the person he 'loves' with such little contempt when they were here but now realises what that one special person meant to him, just a shame he didn't realise it when she was still here.

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My dad was a scumbag, I last saw him when I was 4, he died when I was 16, I'm now nearly 32, almost half my life. I don't know how I'm supposed to grieve, I have no memories, I don't know how to feel, I have so many unanswered questions, people won't tell me anything. It's weird.

Rio is hardly a saint, missed drugs tests and cheating. But you can't put on age on growing up and maybe he has, maybe it was guilt but that program was really good.

Now I'm a father, I know I will never do what my dad did, but it scares me that one day I will leave him whether it's now or in 50years, he's the air I breathe and the reason I wake up in the morning. Or if he loses his mum, I know how great she is to him and already at 3months he can feel that too. It's too sad

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2 hours ago, Dollymarie said:

Oh completely. I was just a bit tired of twitter by the end of the programme making him out to be some sort of saint who'd never done a thing wrong in his life. I'm sure he's a fabulous dad. Just hope one day when his kids are old enough to find stuff out for themselves, he has those answers ready :) 

I'm only human after all , don't put the blame on me . 

:whistle2:

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4 hours ago, redapple said:

I dont suppose they'd have got much of an audience if it had been about one of the other 74 men below 50 who are widowed every day in the UK. This country is so bloody celebrity/personality obsessed. 

I wouldn't wish Rio what has happened and wish him well and hope he and his kids come to terms with their grief and can move on. 

 

What a brilliant post. 

Of those other 74 how many of them have to go back to work within days of the death to keep a roof over their heads, pay the bills and feed the kids? 

Before I get pelters for being unsympathetic, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I also don't begrudge him his wealth but he can afford a nanny and or housekeeper to pick up the kids, keep house whilst he can go to work as and when / if he chooses!

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3 hours ago, alexukhc said:

My dad was a scumbag, I last saw him when I was 4, he died when I was 16, I'm now nearly 32, almost half my life. I don't know how I'm supposed to grieve, I have no memories, I don't know how to feel, I have so many unanswered questions, people won't tell me anything. It's weird.

Rio is hardly a saint, missed drugs tests and cheating. But you can't put on age on growing up and maybe he has, maybe it was guilt but that program was really good.

Now I'm a father, I know I will never do what my dad did, but it scares me that one day I will leave him whether it's now or in 50years, he's the air I breathe and the reason I wake up in the morning. Or if he loses his mum, I know how great she is to him and already at 3months he can feel that too. It's too sad

This is a brilliant post, mate.

Fair play to you.

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Bit late but my 2 pennies: doesn't really matter what you do as a job, how much cash etc, when u lose someone u love  it's tough. To my mind, however he treated his wife, it's clear his love and therefore grief is genuine, and i'm not sure anybody deserves what he had to go through. His kids definitely don't. 

And yes I agree celebs obsession is crap but in this  case good on him for making the programme - it will undoubtedly help a number of people get over their loss.

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