BigTone Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 Sitting in our lounge in Weymouth overlooking the roof terrace where we have a seagulls nest. Wife just asked me (in all seriousness) "when will the puppies hatch ?" No wonder I drink !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 We've got a seagulls nest in our road in BS3. I wake up at dawn thinking I'm in Polperro. If only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 28, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 57 minutes ago, Nogbad the Bad said: I wake up at dawn thinking I'm in Polperro. Isn't that near Hanham ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 4 hours ago, BigTone said: Sitting in our lounge in Weymouth overlooking the roof terrace where we have a seagulls nest. Wife just asked me (in all seriousness) "when will the puppies hatch ?" No wonder I drink !! What the hell has your wife been drinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 28, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 36 minutes ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: What the hell has your wife been drinking? She doesn't drink !! Hence my problem is much worse than expected. In her defence she is Irish !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, BigTone said: She doesn't drink !! Hence my problem is much worse than expected. In her defence she is Irish !! That carragheen is potent stuff. Hang on...Irish? Does not drink? Cannot compute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 28, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 7 minutes ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: That carragheen is potent stuff. Hang on...Irish? Does not drink? Cannot compute. She did. Had an accident. Cannot now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 31 minutes ago, BigTone said: She did. Had an accident. Cannot now Ah right. No offence intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 28, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 1 hour ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: Ah right. No offence intended. No offence taken Michael. Shit happens. She fell down the stairs headfirst into the wall and spent 6 months in hospital. Luckily there was limited damage to the wall !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 After Christmas, my brother dragged the tree out for removal leaving loads of pines on the pathway. His girlfriend came in from work asking why there was so much rosemary everywhere! Different class! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 On 2017-5-28 at 14:54, BigTone said: Sitting in our lounge in Weymouth overlooking the roof terrace where we have a seagulls nest. Wife just asked me (in all seriousness) "when will the puppies hatch ?" No wonder I drink !! No no no, no!!! FFS. It's code. "When will the PUPPIES hatch". Let me know when you understand what she actually meant. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 29, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 11 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: No no no, no!!! FFS. It's code. "When will the PUPPIES hatch". Let me know when you understand what she actually meant. tfj Not a clue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 Just now, BigTone said: Not a clue ......... I don't want to be rude about your missus, but ........... how shall I put it ............... ......... err ............... Did the puppies come out later that evening, or ............. not ?? tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 HAVE I GOT TO DRAW A PICTURE? tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 29, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 26 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: HAVE I GOT TO DRAW A PICTURE? tfj Yes please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppyDAZE Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 Well, i work on a trading estate in Bristol where some clever sod reckons if you "fly" a pretend hawk on a big pole it'll scare all the Gulls away from their nests. Now THAT is what i call dumb. You can ever hear them as they fly around it laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erithacus Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 Doesn't Google Translate do a Womanspeak version? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 4 hours ago, Taxi for Johnson said: HAVE I GOT TO DRAW A PICTURE? tfj In your case, it should be a Rorschac ink blot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 11 hours ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: In your case, it should be a Rorschac ink blot. Mate. Do you think the average OTIB reader understands your high-brow narratives? Do you? tfj P.S. For those you have not 'got it' yet - it was code for bodice-ripping. I make no apology for the inevitable youtube links to bodice ripping that will now follow. So childish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 30 minutes ago, Taxi for Johnson said: Mate. Do you think the average OTIB reader understands your high-brow narratives? Do you? tfj P.S. For those you have not 'got it' yet - it was code for bodice-ripping. I make no apology for the inevitable youtube links to bodice ripping that will now follow. So childish. Bodice ripping? How very quaint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 1 hour ago, Mike Hunt-Hertz said: Bodice ripping? How very quaint. Not really - it's TOTALLY un-PC, and has been since at least 1997. Mind you - it won't stop some of the filthy pervs on here posting youtube links to 1970's bodice ripping. Makes I sick. tfj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Septic Peg Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 On 2017-5-28 at 14:54, BigTone said: Sitting in our lounge in Weymouth overlooking the roof terrace where we have a seagulls nest. Wife just asked me (in all seriousness) "when will the puppies hatch ?" No wonder I drink !! Can beat that easily. My sister in law was sampling different types of cheese and we were explaining where they were from or how they were made. For example red Leicester is from up north and made from cows milk and feta cheese is made from goats milk. Out comes the camembert. "Is this from bears milk?" She asked. I shit you not. We literally collapsed in heaps everywhere. Sheer brilliance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin phantom Posted May 30, 2017 Admin Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 On 5/28/2017 at 14:54, BigTone said: Sitting in our lounge in Weymouth overlooking the roof terrace where we have a seagulls nest. Wife just asked me (in all seriousness) "when will the puppies hatch ?" She was close to chicks I suppose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 1 hour ago, Septic Peg said: Can beat that easily. My sister in law was sampling different types of cheese and we were explaining where they were from or how they were made. For example red Leicester is from up north and made from cows milk and feta cheese is made from goats milk. Out comes the camembert. "Is this from bears milk?" She asked. I shit you not. We literally collapsed in heaps everywhere. Sheer brilliance. Hmmm . Living in a country that, according to a certain CdeG, has 246 different kinds of cheese, I beg to differ: The Greek cheese Feta is normally made from sheep's milk - although sometimes from a mixture of both sheep and goats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted May 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 1 hour ago, PHILINFRANCE said: Hmmm . Living in a country that, according to a certain CdeG, has 246 different kinds of cheese, I beg to differ: The Greek cheese Feta is normally made from sheep's milk - although sometimes from a mixture of both sheep and goats. Mmmm stinky cheese anyway Phil is quite correct Feta cheese features a salty, sharp and tangy taste with a rich aroma. Feta cheese is made from sheep's milk, and other ingredients may include some goat's milk, rennet and salt. Feta cheese should not be made with cow's milk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 If I recall correctly, Big Tone has spent some time working in the Middle East and, if so, will undoubtedly have tasted cheese made from camel milk. You may laugh, but it is quite an interesting taste and not dissimilar to an unpressed cows milk cheese: indeed, if one was to drink a glass of (unpasteurised) dairy and camel milk, I would challenge you to tell the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 3 hours ago, Septic Peg said: Can beat that easily. My sister in law was sampling different types of cheese and we were explaining where they were from or how they were made. For example red Leicester is from up north and made from cows milk and feta cheese is made from goats milk. Out comes the camembert. "Is this from bears milk?" She asked. I shit you not. We literally collapsed in heaps everywhere. Sheer brilliance. The stupid woman.... Everyone knows camembert comes from a herd of Somerset camels based in Camerton. Bears my arse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 Talking of seagulls ... (mostly a pesky nuisance imo) ... except for one young one who visits my window sill most days. He/she is young (still has the mottled brown plumage) anyway I began putting out little scraps for it, he'd fly off and return to eat it when I'd shut the window, this went on for a while. Then he started appearing on the sill and tapping on the glass with his beak to get my attention, I took to dropping bits of bread, crackers etc out for him through the slightly opened window and he became confident/relaxed not enough to fly off and would eat it when I stepped back. Time went on where trust grew and eventually he now sits there watching me at the fully opened window and greedily feeds his tit bits from my bare hand.. He visited this morning and had some bread and jam! (he seems to have gone off of apple stumps, he used to love 'em but takes 'em and leaves them on the shelf now.. he loves leftover chicken (inc the bones) ... wholemeal bread and crackers, its like having a mini waste disposal unit as a friend . (can't wait to teach him to speak and squawk Come On You Reds, ..sit on my shoulder and take him down The Gate... ok maybe that's taking things a bit far) But ..... I've still not settled on a name for him/her? its been suggested Steven ... (as in Steven Segal ) but that's been done before I hear... so any suggestions for names will be considered, after all if I'm gonna be his step dad I ought to have a name for him, how else will I be able to shout out to him when teas ready? Will try to get a pic or two of him to post here sometime .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Septic Peg Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 1 hour ago, WhistleHappy said: Talking of seagulls ... (mostly a pesky nuisance imo) ... except for one young one who visits my window sill most days. He/she is young (still has the mottled brown plumage) anyway I began putting out little scraps for it, he'd fly off and return to eat it when I'd shut the window, this went on for a while. Then he started appearing on the sill and tapping on the glass with his beak to get my attention, I took to dropping bits of bread, crackers etc out for him through the slightly opened window and he became confident/relaxed not enough to fly off and would eat it when I stepped back. Time went on where trust grew and eventually he now sits there watching me at the fully opened window and greedily feeds his tit bits from my bare hand.. He visited this morning and had some bread and jam! (he seems to have gone off of apple stumps, he used to love 'em but takes 'em and leaves them on the shelf now.. he loves leftover chicken (inc the bones) ... wholemeal bread and crackers, its like having a mini waste disposal unit as a friend . (can't wait to teach him to speak and squawk Come On You Reds, ..sit on my shoulder and take him down The Gate... ok maybe that's taking things a bit far) But ..... I've still not settled on a name for him/her? its been suggested Steven ... (as in Steven Segal ) but that's been done before I hear... so any suggestions for names will be considered, after all if I'm gonna be his step dad I ought to have a name for him, how else will I be able to shout out to him when teas ready? Will try to get a pic or two of him to post here sometime .. Mint. Don't feed him white bread, rice, chips or anything really salty as it will swell in his stomach. Anything else is fine. Can't think of anything better than Steven Seagall. Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 2 hours ago, WhistleHappy said: Talking of seagulls ... (mostly a pesky nuisance imo) ... except for one young one who visits my window sill most days. He/she is young (still has the mottled brown plumage) anyway I began putting out little scraps for it, he'd fly off and return to eat it when I'd shut the window, this went on for a while. Then he started appearing on the sill and tapping on the glass with his beak to get my attention, I took to dropping bits of bread, crackers etc out for him through the slightly opened window and he became confident/relaxed not enough to fly off and would eat it when I stepped back. Time went on where trust grew and eventually he now sits there watching me at the fully opened window and greedily feeds his tit bits from my bare hand.. He visited this morning and had some bread and jam! (he seems to have gone off of apple stumps, he used to love 'em but takes 'em and leaves them on the shelf now.. he loves leftover chicken (inc the bones) ... wholemeal bread and crackers, its like having a mini waste disposal unit as a friend . (can't wait to teach him to speak and squawk Come On You Reds, ..sit on my shoulder and take him down The Gate... ok maybe that's taking things a bit far) But ..... I've still not settled on a name for him/her? its been suggested Steven ... (as in Steven Segal ) but that's been done before I hear... so any suggestions for names will be considered, after all if I'm gonna be his step dad I ought to have a name for him, how else will I be able to shout out to him when teas ready? Will try to get a pic or two of him to post here sometime .. You could get him to shit on the sags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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