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How did you meet your partner?


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25 minutes ago, Up The City! said:

I'm bloody rubbish at this dating game.

So basically a few days ago they tagged me in a pic which looked like it was taken from under a table on our night out. So i thought Ahh ill say something about that to start the convo off. It went like this...

Me: That was Sneaky taking that pic (laughing smiley)

Them: My bad (loads of laughing smileys)

Me:  Looks like your hud under the table taking it (laughing smileys)

Them: No I was sat across from you with a child on my lap (laughing smileys)

Me: haha yea of course you was (smiley) could have took a better one of me (smiley) although I suppose it's difficult to take a good pic when your under a table trying to sneak a pic (laughing smileys ) Wish I could go back to that night as it was a great night 

Them: No reply.

I always try to use humour in these situations but have failed miserably it seems. I was going to go on and say I was speaking to my friend earlier (their cousin) and I've arranged to come over in the new year, do you fancy doing something? But no I just use loads if rubbish jokes and put them off.

Time to go away with tail between my legs.

It's always difficult to maintain a convo via fb comment/Twitter thread/OTIB thread just because 1. other people can add to it and the thread gets lost or 2. people are more discreet where they know others can read it.

 

You've arranged to go over at New Years. Do they know this? Perhaps give it a couple of days and PM and tell them the details. Ask what they are doing at NYE maybe? 

Suggest maybe grabbing a bite to eat and a proper catch up when you go over if he/she is busy on NYE. Just keep it light and friendly. 

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23 minutes ago, Dollymarie said:

Maybe they're just busy at the moment and can't text you back? Try not to (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) be so needy. :) 

It's been a good couple of hours so safe to assume I royally messed that up. I was trying to break the ice and then go in for the kill. Told you I'm useless at this haha. Much prefer face to face rather than all this modern texting malerky. 

Oh cap did I come across as needy?  Damn that's what I was trying to avoid.

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9 minutes ago, Up The City! said:

I'm bloody rubbish at this dating game.

So basically a few days ago they tagged me in a pic which looked like it was taken from under a table on our night out. So i thought Ahh ill say something about that to start the convo off. It went like this...

Me: That was Sneaky taking that pic (laughing smiley)

Them: My bad (loads of laughing smileys)

Me:  Looks like your hud under the table taking it (laughing smileys)

Them: No I was sat across from you with a child on my lap (laughing smileys)

Me: haha yea of course you was (smiley) could have took a better one of me (smiley) although I suppose it's difficult to take a good pic when your under a table trying to sneak a pic (laughing smileys ) Wish I could go back to that night as it was a great night 

Them: No reply.

I always try to use humour in these situations but have failed miserably it seems. I was going to go on and say I was speaking to my friend earlier (their cousin) and I've arranged to come over in the new year, do you fancy doing something? But no I just use loads if rubbish jokes and put them off.

Time to go away with tail between my legs.

Just say, 'Sorry, I'm rubbish at this messaging lark, always put my foot in it. (sad face, if ANYTHING)

What I meant to say was I really enjoyed your company on that night out and I'd love to see you again.

(Pause until reply - hopefully positive, i.e. 'me too, but we live a long way apart')

 'I'm actually coming over in the New Year and It would be great if we could meet up, but no problem if not.'

(Just you'll probably cancel it if they're not interested, but don't tell him/her that)

(Pause for reply - hopefully positive, i.e.' The problem would be if we didn't meet up. Nothing I'd like more, can't wait')

Perhaps cut down on the smileys and the jokes, get to the point.

Let him/ her know you're serious, but not desperate!

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21 minutes ago, Septic Peg said:

It's always difficult to maintain a convo via fb comment/Twitter thread/OTIB thread just because 1. other people can add to it and the thread gets lost or 2. people are more discreet where they know others can read it.

 

You've arranged to go over at New Years. Do they know this? Perhaps give it a couple of days and PM and tell them the details. Ask what they are doing at NYE maybe? 

Suggest maybe grabbing a bite to eat and a proper catch up when you go over if he/she is busy on NYE. Just keep it light and friendly. 

I was trying to build up to it by going along the lines of oh had a great night last time with you last time, I've arranged with your family to come over in New year and be lovely to do it again. That's what I was aiming for anyways.

I'm going to go over come what may anyways as been promising my friends I'd go over for years. 

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13 minutes ago, Up The City! said:

It's been a good couple of hours so safe to assume I royally messed that up. I was trying to break the ice and then go in for the kill. Told you I'm useless at this haha. Much prefer face to face rather than all this modern texting malerky. 

Oh cap did I come across as needy?  Damn that's what I was trying to avoid.

Firstly, I'm honestly not trying to have a pop at you here, please believe that. And this is only my opinion, so feel free to ignore it and take others instead. If texting is something you find hard, and face to face is better, then what have you got to lose by going over there for a weekend, asking to see them and then seeing how things go? At least that way you won't be wondering for months more what could be etc. Can you go and see other people over there and make seeing them part of this visit? At least then you'll know. 

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34 minutes ago, Up The City! said:

I was trying to build up to it by going along the lines of oh had a great night last time with you last time, I've arranged with your family to come over in New year and be lovely to do it again. That's what I was aiming for anyways.

I'm going to go over come what may anyways as been promising my friends I'd go over for years. 

Then tell her this, too much build up and smilies! New Year is a bit manic wherever you are, say you will be coming for New Year but would like to see the city when it's a bit more normal and is she free for a bite to eat or some sightseeing?

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1 hour ago, Nogbad the Bad said:

Just say, 'Sorry, I'm rubbish at this messaging lark, always put my foot in it. (sad face, if ANYTHING)

What I meant to say was I really enjoyed your company on that night out and I'd love to see you again.

(Pause until reply - hopefully positive, i.e. 'me too, but we live a long way apart')

 'I'm actually coming over in the New Year and It would be great if we could meet up, but no problem if not.'

(Just you'll probably cancel it if they're not interested, but don't tell him/her that)

(Pause for reply - hopefully positive, i.e.' The problem would be if we didn't meet up. Nothing I'd like more, can't wait')

Perhaps cut down on the smileys and the jokes, get to the point.

Let him/ her know you're serious, but not desperate!

Excellent advice again Noggers. Comments noted, Less smileys and less bad jokes. Think i was going down that route because all night thats how we were together. I really want to go down your route But I am worried that as it's highly likely we will cross paths in future I don't want any awkwardness if you get me? It's already awkward as she's related to my close friends and I dare not say anything to them about this.

I suppose my previous worries about distance isn't really an issue cos I've just realised I've maintained an excellent close relationship with my friends over there for 15 years.

1 hour ago, Dollymarie said:

Firstly, I'm honestly not trying to have a pop at you here, please believe that. And this is only my opinion, so feel free to ignore it and take others instead. If texting is something you find hard, and face to face is better, then what have you got to lose by going over there for a weekend, asking to see them and then seeing how things go? At least that way you won't be wondering for months more what could be etc. Can you go and see other people over there and make seeing them part of this visit? At least then you'll know. 

Oh no please don't take it like I was being rude or something (see what I mean I'm rubbish at writting) I'm committed to going over now anyways and I'm going to enjoy the trip, unfortunately I have to wait to new year due to finances. I don't want to make the trip about them if that makes sense? Want to enjoy it for what it is and if we can do something at some point it be a nice added bonus.

41 minutes ago, RedM said:

Then tell her this, too much build up and smilies! New Year is a bit manic wherever you are, say you will be coming for New Year but would like to see the city when it's a bit more normal and is she free for a bite to eat or some sightseeing?

I'm starting to think maybe I offended them slightly? Oh cap didn't mean it like that. Maybe I'll send one later or 2 moro making that clear and apologising ? 

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17 hours ago, ziderheadarmy said:

Just send her a link to this page, from that she can see how much you think of her by how much your over analysing and worrying. 

Can't do any harm can it. 

@Up The City!And I would bet she is sat there phone in hand agonising about a 'correct' reply too. Ask her if she has anymore photos from you night out she could send you as you didn't take any or send her some you did take. Keep the convo going but keep it light but not too jokey and don't apologise unless you REALLY feel you have something to apologise for. That convo has gone and forgotten, strike up a new one

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A friend had a problem neighbor. She was on a web forum where people discussed such problems. Another member of said forum was Mrs Robbo #2.  My friend introduced us online and we chatted and eventually arranged to meet for a drink.

I walked into the Prince Of Wales boozer in Wimbledon and saw her waiting for me there. Our eyes met and we both knew straight away that we'd be together.

Yep it was the old "bolt of lightning" mutual attraction/love at first sight cliche.

Nine years on, I still feel the same way....      :wub:

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1 hour ago, RedM said:

@Up The City!And I would bet she is sat there phone in hand agonising about a 'correct' reply too. Ask her if she has anymore photos from you night out she could send you as you didn't take any or send her some you did take. Keep the convo going but keep it light but not too jokey and don't apologise unless you REALLY feel you have something to apologise for. That convo has gone and forgotten, strike up a new one

So I decided to send a message pretty much saying hope I didn't cause any offence. A couple of weeks ago they had a FB status so I messaged them about that saying hope your ok etc, they replied saying thank you and that I was the only one to message. It was a bit of a risky text as full of compliments but they responded positively. I responded saying phew I was worried about sending it as I don't like to bother people and they said it was nice of you and you could never bother me. 

So anyways in the text today I apologised and said this is why I dont bother people as sometimes I struggle to put into words what is in my head. That also led me on nicely to I've arranged to come over in the new year and I basically didn't want there to be any ill feelings and then went on to say it be nice to see you have a drink etc. 

I also took your suggestion of asking if they had any more to show I wasn't annoyed. 

I've had a reply but don't want to look at it. 

I'm finding I think this person is quite reserved, I think possibly because the last relationship ended up with the long term partner in bed with two other people at the same time so I think they have some issues around that understandably. I find they always reply when I ask a question so need to get good at asking questions. 

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@Up The City! read the bloody text! Worse case scenario at least you'll know it's not going anywhere, best case you can keep chatting until you go over for a visit.

Feel free to ignore this question but as you keep referring to the other person as "them/they" as opposed to he/she, am I right in thinking this would be someone from the same gender as you?  Just that can make things tougher for all sorts of reasons! Not that you should avoid either mind!

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23 hours ago, Dollymarie said:

@Up The City! read the bloody text! Worse case scenario at least you'll know it's not going anywhere, best case you can keep chatting until you go over for a visit.

Feel free to ignore this question but as you keep referring to the other person as "them/they" as opposed to he/she, am I right in thinking this would be someone from the same gender as you?  Just that can make things tougher for all sorts of reasons! Not that you should avoid either mind!

Darn you Dolly for picking up on that haha. I'll just say we share the same sexual preference so not an issue.

I read the text and all they said was oh no I didn't take it like that at all etc and it was nice of me to apologise anyways.

Didn't say anything about me coming over but from there the convo has naturally flowed and been a lot of texts between us. Just thinking that maybe they didn't want to commit right now but by me saying I'm coming over sort of shows that potential is there If that makes sense?

Seems we are asking each other lots of questions so that's good, I'm running out of questions to ask tho?

 

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On ‎13‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 19:52, RedM said:

As I said before I was surrounded by boys in my neighbourhood, I guess this was more of a boys thing as they all had CB radios either in cars if they were old enough to drive or in houses if they weren't. My brother had a CB and used to chat with his school mates, me being nosey used to listen in as basically that's what it was, groups of people chatting and others listening or sometimes asking to join in conversation with total strangers, young and old. It wasn't at all private, but that had good points as well as bad. All us teens got quite clever at using code in case our parents were listening, you could pick up conversations on some ordinary radios! 

unless you were really serious you'd only use an aerial which had a range of a couple of miles, often less if there were other CB radios used nearly as they would knock each other's signal out, therefore you really only chatted to quite local people. I used to chat to the lads in my neighbourhood on the CB and just like this forum got to know people. I can't rember if the future MrRedM joined my conversation or I his but we got chatting.

Pleased you cleared that mystery up before I posted my suggestion... as other possibilities seemed to be running out I ALMOST dared to utter the words ...... 'grab a granny night' ...  :shutup: 

:hug:

 

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3 hours ago, WhistleHappy said:

Pleased you cleared that mystery up before I posted my suggestion... as other possibilities seemed to be running out I ALMOST dared to utter the words ...... 'grab a granny night' ...  :shutup: 

:hug:

 

Over 25s at Cinderellas in Gloucester was known as "Grab A Granny Night".....fair play some of them were well over 25!

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6 hours ago, Up The City! said:

 

Seems we are asking each other lots of questions so that's good, I'm running out of questions to ask tho?

 

If they mention stuff they've been up to, then you can refer to that and chat more. Or tell them what you've been up to for example. It's good that you're chatting more though. 

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17 hours ago, Up The City! said:

I may be one of them...

I call bluff , you said you are not in a relationship so you can't be Mrs Channing Tatum  (whoever he/she/they are , whet sort of name is Channing :blink:). 

Just to go off , or back on piste. Met my (future now) Mrs at a Northern soul do put on by her Scooterist Brother in law, I was 3 sheets to the wind as it was after an England game, and spent most of the evening taking the piss out of her camera skills. She had a 35mm SLR with (camera not self loading rifle)
 Happily together for 13 years then went to Belgium and discovered 10% Belgium beer and now we appear to be getting married next year. Stay clear of alcohol kids , it leads to pain ;)

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