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Lee and Dopey were chatting the other night after one of the RB phone ins. Geoff Twentypence joined them and was bemoaning that a lot of footballers aren't that bright. "Not sure I agree" said Lee, "listen to this". So Lee phones Tammy Abraham and asks him a question, "There's this man, he's you father's son but he's not your brother. Who is he?". "Simple boss, it's me" says Tammy. Dopey decided to try this at training next day. He goes up to Taylor and asks the question. Taylor looks bemused and says he'll have to think about it. In a break in training Taylor rings his agent who replies "It's me, now go away until you decide to join a proper club". Taylor finds Dopey and says "that question, the man is my agent". Dopey is confused, "you *****ng moron, how can you be so stupid? It's obviously Tammy Abraham".

Was chatting to 2 gAssholes last week. "Do you ever go to the Mem?" I asked. "Oh yeah" says gAsshole number 1 "all the time, and we've hit on a brilliant plan" "Yes" chimes in gAsshole number 2 "We wait until 10 minutes after kick off then climb over the gate" "Do you often get away with that?" I enquired "Yes most weeks, but last week we got caught and had to watch the rest of the match"

Bert is good value. We're a broad church and all sad sags are welcome, but shit low end banter doesn't go down well.

Reports suggest a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at the Minimal Stadium at the last home game. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

15 years ago you were in the Second Division (League One today) and finished 2000/01 by being relegated to the Third Division (League Two today). In the years that have followed you managed to get back up to the heights of League One, before dropping down to League Two again and then out of the Football League altogether. Then in the last 2 years you managed to scrape out of the Conference on penalties before (barely) finishing third in League Two to scrape another promotion. So yeah, well done on being back where you started.

It's quite amazing (and typically gullable) that Rovers fans take such a level of pride in the last 2 seasons, skin of their teeth "success" You've attained Football League status and followed it up by removing yourself from the basement stock of said Football League and find yourself further down the pecking order than you were back in 1990! You appear to have been duped into buying ANOTHER falsified stadium dream with little substance and you are now owned by a foreign rich kid (who's nowhere near as rich as you were led to belive) who is yet to spend any money of note on the club. On the back of such "progress" you genuinely belive that you are "coming for us" Excuse me if I'm not quite dreaming of a Championship/Premier Leage Derby at your shiny new home in South Glos just yet!

In the summer of 1968 I took a group of Rovers’ academy coaches to visit the training centre at leading Czech side FC Vim. These days every other village team seems to arrange such low cost weekend jollies but at that time it was a pioneering and extremely expensive venture. Luckily MFI agreed to sponsor us and sent two of their chaps along to investigate the prospects of selling self assembly furniture to Czechoslovakian sports clubs and military installations. As the Fokker surged down the runway at Lulsgate I felt no Miss Givings because I had left her behind at Eastville licking stamps. Yet, despite this lack of secretarial assistance, the flight passed uneventfully and in what seemed like only three hours we were descending quickly through the white powdery clouds into Vim. Security was tight, which is how I like it, and though strip searched twice by a busty blonde border guard nothing came up and I was soon leading our party towards the Lubyanka Travel Lodge. Surprisingly the roads were clogged with traffic and, using the splattering of Czech picked up through listening to the BBC World Service, I was able to ascertain that an army of people from CSKA Moscow were also in town and doubtless planning their own reconnaissance of the FC Vim training methods. Next morning it is only fair to say the cleanliness of the Vim training centre exceeded our expectations and I can quite understand how 99% of household germs do indeed perish in such an environment. In fact on the day of our visit we were told it was the cleanest clean it’s ever been. Forced to remain on the bleachers we could hardly make out what the players were doing on the pitch about 100 yards away but the souvenir shop was very good. And outside the ground we were given a demonstration of how the Czech authorities dealt with hooligans which was so life like you could actually believe they really were being lined up against a wall and shot ! Back at the hotel the CSKA Moscow club President, Mr Al-Molotov was hosting a cocktail party and in the spirit of maintaining cordial international sporting relations we raised our glasses to heroes from both countries including Bobby Charlton, Valentin Ivanov, Bobby Moore, Lev Yashin and Burgess Maclean. On the following day, as we began our journey back to blighty, I reflected that we had actually learned nothing at all of value in footballing terms but, at least for a week or so, the publicity surrounding the trip would divert our supporters’ attention away from constantly thinking about car parks. We never did find out what happened to the lads from MFI. To be continued …

Dopey's new training drill was a bit of a failure to be honest. He placed 11 dustbins on the pitch for he sags to dribble around. After a quarter of an hour the bins were 2-0 up. Then Taylor dived and got one sent off.

it must be time for me to confess. many years ago, i think it must have been in the early 60. i was invited be a boss of mine to watch his team newcastle play at the sags gas works in a cup game. never having slummed that much before it all became a bit of a shock. apart from the awful smell we had some of the best seats in the old rotting stand the one with the buckets of water to put out the fires from the rubbish and fag ends dropped between the gaps in the wood planking floor. a sort of fire watch duty. my seat was directly under an old loudspeaker that hung from its wire. i drew the stewards attention to this and was told it was ok because it had been like it for years. the game started and shortly after the loudspeaker and its wire parted and it landed on my head giving me a cut that bled rather well, the steward rushed to me and offered me his dirty snotty handkerchief. on the monday following i phoned to complain and was offered a free ticket to the next sag home game . i declined of course. the point i make is that if this had happened today with the claim and blame society i would have prob ended up sueing and owning the lot could have then shut the club down and sold the old gas works to ikea.

Fixed that for you .

I've had you.

Well, you'd better go and tell waelly because as far as he's concerned you've not even received a positive feasibility study yet..... Al-Qadi, meanwhile, confirmed that there was nothing new to report on the club's on-going plans to build a new stadium on land owned by the University of West England in Stole Gifford.The owner had said on September 8 that a feasibility study was being carried out and Al-Qadi confirmed that they were still awaiting the conclusions from that study to be returned to the club."We are calling for updates and are expecting those to be relayed to us shortly," Al-Qadi said. "We are hopeful that within a short amount of time we will be able to really get this project seriously moving." Deliver a stadium?? You can't even get a feasibility study delivered!

I phoned the mem today and asked them what time the kick off was on Saturday. They asked me what time I could get there.

Dopey got a call from Plod at 2:30 am the other day as there was a suspected break in at the CH4 Dome. "The cups, the cups, did they get the cups" asked a very distressed Dopey. "It's ok sir, the kitchen hasn't been touched".

We're coming for you

Stealing this for facebook and twitter. Take a Bow mate!

Contract extension to 2019 for Maynard: http://m.somersetcountycc.co.uk/2016/10/matt-signs-contract-extension/#kI9HdQBbagdaUGzo.97

Mr Flea. There is a place for you that you may be unaware of, it's called Gas Chat. It's a special place where the gaseous few congregate to discuss all manner of topics. If you wish you can even start your own thread, as an example if you wanted to discuss the merits of which material would best suit for your new stadium that's the place to do it. You may even wish to tax the brain power of said forum members with a maths puzzle such as, what is the optimum number of tent pegs required per Sq Mt of canvas, assuming of course the guy ropes are factored in to the equation? But then it dawned on me that any self respecting Gas Head would know of this place, so it begs the question why do you lurk on OTIB so often? why does you web browsing history show that visits to OTIB outweigh Gas Chat views? Bingo got it, you're a closet Red. I beg you you Mr Flea take the plunge, Come Out, release yourself from your mental torture, be brave and give in to your guilty pleasure. We are a broad church on OTIB and would welcome you. I understand you may be intimidated worshiping at the new cathedral that is Ashton Gate, it's a big step up from a small tented chapel I know, but we can help you. It will be much more crowded than you are used to, but again don't worry we can help. I explore you Mr Flea just come out for your pease of mind. I am sure you will now get plenty of encouragement from my fellow Reds.

Can we ban you instead ?

I'm a genuine fan and I'm annoyed by you but I can tolerate you not being banned even though, unlike Bert, you add absolutely zero value, humour or interest to OTIB. Unlike some other team forums, it's not our style to ban supporters of rivals willy nilly.

He is taking the p1ss out of the Gas, whether he is City or not.. this is the lets laugh at the Gas thread anyway. Bert is probably genuine but because he disagrees with yours and Prancers views on how apparently mighty the Gas is he is automatically a 'Ted. In relative terms you've done nothing as a club except skank 2 promotions so far and in all fairness his criticism is probably justified in recent years

If we ban him, can we ban you?

personally I'm looking forward to watching Everton under 23 vs Reading Under 23 at wembely in-front of 500 people

You won't beat the Atyeo trouser trumpet...

Course they have decent away support, every away day they are experiencing superior stadiums

Less away fans than Burton Albion

Rovers travel much better than us, don't forget.