Theresa May is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car.
Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Theresa in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur.......
"You get out and check - you were driving."
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving; go and tell the farmer," says Theresa.
Five hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
"My God, what happened to you?" asks Theresa.
The chauffeur replies: "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Theresa.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them....
"I'm Theresa May's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."