With the pools closed I've had to do some running over the past few months.
God must've realised pretty quickly he had created something inherently evil when he allowed humans to be able to run. He must've quickly passed all responsibility to the devil, who then presumably realised how horrendous running was, and flogged it in a bargain bin to Satan.
With nowhere to turn Satan must've lucked out and blamed it all on a consortium of Hitler, Mussolini and Pol Pot. Then, evil itself stepped in and claimed all responsibility.
My knees, shins and feet are in ruin. Running has no redeeming features whatsoever, and you are all masochists.