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‘The Football Directory’ on Facebook sticking the boot in...

I’ll give it a go, bear in mind that most clubs aren’t lucky enough to have such comically shit ‘rivals’.. Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit Santas Grotto Bath City, Braintree, FGR etc Only taking 26k to Wembley Shafted by Sainsbury’s Barrow, Chesham, Barnet in the FA Cup UWE Stadium plans down the bog Losing their £10 million striker to us for Peanuts The Worlds shittest open top bus parade 6th Richest club in the country? ”Unlucky da shit” video ”Thank you Matty Taylor” ABBA style Matty Taylor tribute video Plastic chairs Tents Fake Fanta Boob Cricket Comparing their support to Leeds and Norwich Babestation Santas Grotto mk II Thieving from their own Their players coming to watch us play. Piping crowd noise through their PA on match days Putting our scores on their scoreboard during their own match Those Villa fans exposing them for the obsessed morons they are They really are the gift that keeps on giving. I’ve got a feeling I’ve forgotten a few.

Yes but there are 10,000 cardboard cut outs locked out.

So Sunday League.

All those cut outs perched on a wall were reminding me of something earlier and I could not put my finger on it, now its come to me

At least one person on their forum has a sense of humour: “Plenty of positives to take from today's performance. Positives: Good to see Ehmer get on the scoresheet today from the header. We forced their keeper into a save. Great to see us resort to the long ball tactics which served us so well the first half of last season. We are showing that you don't really need a central midfield to hold out for 80 minutes. We are starting to look comfortable - when the ball is out of play. More players got 90 minutes under their belts. We didn't throw away a lead today. Defence is beginning to gel as we only lost 2-0 to Ipswich this time round. Pitch looked fab. Negatives: Attendance was poor today. Teams may now be aware that our plan A is to get a wide free kick and get the big men up. Ben Garner's baseball cap trend taking hold.“

This is the latest from the Mem car park of all the cardboard cut out fans who couldn't get in ...

Cretins. They’re just as fickle and impatient as every other set of fans.

All the signs are there that he has the club moving in the right direction.

Please give Garner more time. Please. I'm confident he can finish the job.

Might have a little look at slagchat after tea. i`m sure there will be much thoughtful reflection and constructive discussion to be had.

Shooting gallery manned by fairground worker and ex-Gash Stuart Sinclair. Roll up! Roll up! Prize every time - shoot a Gastard and pick a prize from Santa’s Grotto! Babestation subscription! 12 pack of “Fanta”. £20 gift card for THE GAP. Roll on up!

I know "can we play you every week" is something of a cliche but they just might be on to something. Didn't make the trip over there but first half was poor, after the interval we raised our game and were deserved winners. Top of the league is good and all very well but it's like two games we've played along with others, a bit soon to be getting carried away. Some (of our) supporters are getting excited and while not to knock your own, but some of our fans will do a dance every time the fridge light comes on. We have Rochdale next, I can see three wins out of three but that's just the sort of opposition that have caused us problems before. If it seems too good to be true it usually is. We're going to leave Rovers alone for now, I'm tired of beating them ? but we really need to be getting out of this League as soon as possible and return to the second level. Yeah we're not the force of years before, but us in the third division ? Come on it's not really on is it.

I`ve said it before that I`m convinced that they are a long term installation project by the KLF. Surely only the diseased imaginations of Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond could dream up the catastrophes that have befallen them down the years.

It's like the only reason they exist is to amuse us. They really serve no other purpose.

We now have to add crowdies to the ever-lengthening list of hilarious things they have regaled us with down the years. I think it should be ranked somewhere between Santa`s Grotto and Row M on the #sagdisasterarea scale.

When they were 1-1 against Cardiff reserves in a pre season friendly. Its the 4th time I've posted it, felt they needed reminding we most certainly are watching...

And after them, they have Northampton. That might be an interesting comparison, after our game this week. You know, the one where our 2nd string battered them 4-0, playing dazzling football, which could easily have resulted in 8 goals, if not 10.

Presumably I’m not the first person to post this complete embarrassment?

Elmer Fud og and one of the Nolan sisters got the second for Ipswich.

At last they've given us something new to laugh at, looks like a row of persons off Guess Who

Tom Nicholls who famously hardly ever scored for Rag Arse Rovers scored on his debut for Crawley Town today

Just saw the second half, apart from 5-10 minutes of untidy play early on, that was outstanding. Brilliant watch. Developing more than a passing interest in ‘The Bears’ now. Not just the results, but they play really fluid, expansive, adventurous rugby. Not the traditional bore and grind stuff. Lets hope that type of exciting game plan transfers to the footie side! Steve Lansdown’s ‘Bristol Sport’ concept is working, at least in me. Bravo. .

Not forgetting the Feng Shui thing... Feng Shui, we always thought, was the sound you made when you sneezed but, we've been told, it is actually an ancient Chinese art that involves moving your furniture around your room until you feel mellow (or something like that). When Feng shui "experts" Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen arrived at Bristol Rovers one day last year and promised that if let work their magic a mellow Rovers line-up would beat Gillingham in their next game, the club said "yes please". So, on the advice of the pair, the club installed a tank containing plastic fish behind one of the goals, staff were asked to ensure that the ground's toilet seats were down at all times, a ceramic frog was hung above the front gate, potted house plants were positioned in all four corners of the players' dressing room and hanging wind chimes were placed around the stadium. Match result? Bristol Rovers 0, Gillingham 1. PS: Last Friday night mortified Rovers officials tuned in to ITV2's comedy series The Gatecrashers and realised they'd been had - the whole Feng shui thing was a prank. Blushes all 'round. Ceramic frog binned.

Having raffles to determine the shirt sponsor - the loser got to have their name on the kit for the season

Gimp running away from a horse dressed in questionable attire is another one for the list

Becoming the first ever league club to fail to qualify for the first round of the league cup.

The non existent "Row M" The disabled viewing area cobbled together from 2 by 4 and plastic. The automatic electronic stadium entrance system consisting of a turnstile operator having to press a button. The requirement for an automatic stadium entrance system due to fans handing season tickets through the fence. Match day stewards taking back handers. A big screen TV for the stadium purchased from a company owned by our chairman. One of their biggest spends of the last 20 years only scoring 4 league goals in almost 100 appearances. Fans headbutting minibuses on the Gloucester Road. I think that's a few more.

You have forgotten mine, Peter ! Taking a year to get a “big” tv screen up. Only then realising they had insufficient power, so needed some generators in rather quickly. Then the crowning moment. Finding our it was supplied by a company owned by none other than “the rosy cheeked tax dodger” from Guernsey. Our very own Sir Steve Lansdown.

Edited for accuracy although I have a suspicion they will be back there relatively soon!

Of course, and only so they could show the sides down there how the Real Madrid of league 2 play, whilst wowing them with the best support in the world. If anything, they did it for the benefit of the sides of division 5, who will never see anything like the famous blue and white quarterz again...

Ah I see. Just before Flint scored the winner..?!

Yes, yes we still are...

The worst manager in the football league manages the biggest crock of tinpot, unprofessional, unethical sack of shite in the football league. The perfect match.

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They’ve been saying that for yonks - I remember when Buckle was manager and a section of their fans were calling for his head and some were saying “we aren’t Teds, we don’t do that.” Yeah you do actually.

Priceless. And at the Azteca Fruit Market they'll be getting changed next to the lemons!!

Ten more games!

Just come back from there. They won’t let you down. ?

TBH. I'm not 100% convinced they're "coming for us" at all.

The tannoy system is playing the crowd noise...”If you all hate Bristol City” and “Sheed’ead” on repeat.

And socially distanced, it's just like the real thing!

The attendance looks to be about normal.

Is that Bobby Davro?

It is always Wycombe's fault for the following reasons..... 1) 2nd May 2001 - Basement Gas 2) They raved on about how super duper Joe Anyinsah was, but he was crap when playing for the Gas and he was also a Sheeeeeeed. 3) Played the Gas in a thunderstorm 4) Apparently played an ineligible player (Gas demanded the points but nothing came of it) 5) Won 3-0 on the final day of 2014 season, helping to send the Gas into the abyss of non league football and embarrassing them after the Gas had beaten Wycombe the week before, spilling onto the pitch, destroying advertising boards and celebrating in true 'family club' style. They absolutely ******* detest Wycombe! What a great club Wycombe are! ?

Mmm i might be tempted she sounds better looking than my missus

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