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Gert Mare

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Everything posted by Gert Mare

  1. I listened to Dopey's rant following defeat at the hands of the mighty Shrewsbury. Apparently the "faithful and true" booed the players off the pitch. Surely not??!!! That behaviour is only performed by the deluded obsessed Ted's at the crematorium of the Bristol Sport 1982 franchise?!!!!!!!'
  2. 3 non-league beauties that put their foot on the Gas!
  3. I thought that the Sags poet failed to paint the right picture of what it is to be "Faithful and True", so his poem has been re-written......They must be so "prowed" to have nailed the wrong colours to their flag post http://sendvid.com/1n1t4ha4
  4. In view of Darrell's recent comments I'd like to remind Gasheads of why we go on and on about the gift that keeps giving. Remember, you bring it all on yourselves with garbage like this and we laugh loud and long when it comes back to bite you firmly on the butt. At this point you usually find some excuse to blame us and then want to fight about it like some spoilt child..... Please continue to give generously....especially at Christmas This is more like it..........
  5. You have to have someone between the sticks unfortunately. Agent Akinde was fantastic. Let more in than a Gas babe at Chasers.
  6. Football Manager update...... It is actually possible to get rid of the Gas. After being sacked by Wally for going on holiday all of the time and leaving Stewy to run first team affairs I had a short but successful stint at the 6 digit hillbillies of Yeovil before amazingly managing to keep Whitehawk Welfare in League 2. To my delight the Rovers job came up again and I took it. I managed to finish 23rd in League 2 and send the Sags back into non-league oblivion. Wally sacked me again, but this time I stayed unemployed until the Rovers job became available again. I applied and got the job. This time I went for all out destruction. I signed agent Akinde (now 36) for the entire transfer budget on a 5 year deal. I then proceeded to stick him in goal. I went into the transfer market and bought as many over 30's keepers on 5 year deals as I could. I then offered all remaining players to clubs for free. With my team full of aged keepers I came up with a new formation and got hammered 19-1 at home to Dagenham and Redbridge. After weeks of getting slaughtered and taking the blue few to rock bottom I was sacked again after fans had protested outside of the ground (and probably punched a few horses). I stayed unemployed until the Gas job came up again and numb nuts Hamer jumped at the chance of having me destroy the Gas who were now struggling at the foot of the Vanarama North. My most memorable defeat was the 31-0 home thumping by the mighty Dover Athletic. Other fine defeats included a 23-0 home destruction by Weston-Super-Mare, and a 21-0 away defeat to Hemel Hempstead. For some unknown reason the board were pleased to have me in charge. In the end I was sacked with 7 games to go, but by then my Sag team of aged keepers fate was well and truly sealed. I got rid of the Gas and it was good to see them at the level they should be....in the "others" section alongside teams like Mangotsfield and Bristol Manor Farm. Goodnight Irene.
  7. They won't leave. Rovers are the 6th richest club in the world!
  8. I have just been playing Football Manager 2017 on my phone and it is great! I started out unemployed and within 2 weeks Rovers had sacked Darrell Clarke. Naturally I applied for the position being an obsessed Ted and was offered the job with the remit of Rovers finishing mid table. I accepted but it soon became apparent that my budget £875k was taking the mickey. So I decided to hand over the reigns to Marcus Stewart and take advantage of Wally's cash by booking a holiday. I came back to find out we had lost to Braintree in the cup so I put myself on garden leave. I went on holiday again for about 2 months and came back to find that Rovers were now 24th in League One and the board were not happy. I threw my teddies out of the pram and clicked the "Holiday" option again. I came back to find out that some of the players contracts had expired and they had thrown a wobbly and left. I couldn't handle the stress so I handed over the reigns to Stewy again and booked another holiday. I came back in May to find out that we had been relegated having finished 22nd. To be fair I was happy to still be in the job considering that I had spent the majority of the season in the Canaries. The board decided to keep me on because in my absence Stewy had signed some complete unknown by the name of Pete Burton and apparently the board were happy with that?! They weren't too happy about the wage bill and so I immediately went on holiday again and let a few more contracts expire. I came back to find that Coventry and Burton had both offered £475k for Matty Taylor. I said I was happy to discuss a deal at a more realistic figure so I proposed starting at £10 million. I left the training to Stewy again and took another holiday on Wally whilst Coventry and Burton considered revised deals. When I got back expecting to dot the i's and cross the t's with either Coventry or Burton on the Matty Taylor deal I had received emails from both clubs pretty much saying the same thing that they had immediately withdrawn their interest. I also discovered that not a single club in the Championship or Prem had swooped for an absolute bargain???!!! Anyway, played the pre season friendlies and got hammered 5-0 by Rotherham, and lost 3-0 to Forest Green. It wasn't all doom and gloom though as we thrashed East Thurrock 5-0 and a few more players contracts expired. After 9 games I had taken us from 5th to 23rd and Wally sacked me whilst I was on holiday. I found out by email when I got back. To be fair I had left Stewy in charge for all 9 games as I took in the sights of Dubai. Spending Wally's cash like water! I immediately reapplied for the vacant position but they gave it to Nathan Jones so I applied for the vacant position that came up at Liverpool. Thoroughly recommend Football Manager 2017!
  9. They are coming for us......exactly when is anybody's guess?! Wonder if we can make it a nice round figure like 82 years, seeing as they are obsessed with 82.
  10. On this day Rovers fan Wayne Baker (a former farrier) admitted to punching a horse when Rovers played Mansfield..... "PC Small turned Jubilee towards the defendant and, with his right fist, he punched the horse to the left side of its neck. It connected and the horse threw its head to the right side."
  11. This is why they are the biggest and most hilarious joke in English football:- http://sendvid.com/u25cuhgi
  12. What is all this about us being a soulless franchise? Aren't they the ones who sold out to the first mob that turned up, from Jordan with no track record in football? They really are a hilarious bunch.
  13. If they do come up then fair play to them. It would be a quite unbelievable achievement considering that they were buried in the conference only two years ago. Apparently their fans were moaning last night against Fleetwood. Blimey, a Goldfish has a longer memory than a Gashead obviously?! Also goes to prove what a delusional bunch they are too!
  14. We are so obsessed with them because we have this 3000 page thread about them apparently? I for one admit that I am indeed obsessed with the Gas. I am totally and utterly obsessed with the squatters and these are the reasons why.... Just mentioning the name of Bristol City Football Club causes a Gashead to go into an a strange teddy (no pun intended) throwing meltdown. They usually start frothing like a rabid dog spouting all kinds of rubbish and it usually starts with a correction of the "actual" name of Bristol City stating that it contains the year 1982 followed by pointing out that it's "Limited". This is followed quite quickly by being told to "**** off. You S***head C***". If you stand your ground they then threaten to treat you like they would treat a horse or one of their own stewards. They mention the "Tote End" as if to rubber stamp how serious they are about fast tracking you an appointment with the B.R.I. Then, in a quite bizarre twist they insinuate that somehow this is all YOUR fault, not theirs. Rule 1 of their Bristol City Fight Club is not to mention the name Bristol City (unless it contains 1982 in the middle). If for whatever reason you manage to avoid physical assault the verbal assault continues.... The 2nd of May is mentioned (not the 2001 one which saw Wycombe relegate them to the basement) Dean Windass Rickie Lambert's goal 72 attendance for an EFL cup tie on a Tuesday night in Scunthorpe The library that is Ashton Gate How they would assault Santa if he turned up at their house wearing red A complete ban on anything red full stop How they are the richest and oldest football club in Bristol (both factually incorrect) How they are the best loyal and faithful and true fans in the whole wide world (the riot when the were relegated out of the football league was caused by Ted's and therefore doesn't count against them) And the big one.....How many fans they took to an away game! It is the number one question on all Gasheads lips "How many did we take?". I am obsessed with how 90% of their terrace songs mention Bristol City How they react with an overspilling uncontainable sense of joy when they win and City lose. How they point out our misfortunes before we even know about it through official channels. How at the very core of every Gas supporter the holy grail is only achieved at the expense of Bristol City in some way:- Rovers win and City lose They beat City City lose Anything negative about City How they can become richer than Bristol City How many more fans they can take to an away game than Bristol City How they are "coming for Bristol City" When they go above Bristol City When they finish higher than Bristol City How disgusted they are with media bias towards Bristol City How they think they have "one over on Ted's" and quickly plaster it all over social media, only to end up finding out that they have got it wrong or that something happens that makes their claim null and void, which leaves them with egg on their face, looking stupid and causing them to want to fight with any 'Ted who mentions it going forward. They can dish it out but just cannot take it back without erupting. How they see themselves as a family club It seems that the life of a Bristol Rovers supporter is tough. Deep down they know that they pulled the short straw when choosing a team to support. They know that they are pretty much destined for an entire lifetime of poor quality football in the lower divisions, but still they cling on to the dream that one day they can become the biggest club in the west and challenging at the top end of the Premiership adored throughout the land. They carry with them the burning sense of injustice and jealousy with their near neighbours having tasted top flight football, and league and cup success from time to time. It hurts to know that a club that was built from ashes has still managed to achieve more than them since 1982. It hurts, and that hurt runs deep. But like an alcoholic in denial they continue to punish themselves with watching kick and rush park football every week whatever the weather, and to save their sanity they tell themselves that they are gods chosen ones, they are the innocent, the loved, the faithful and true, the best club ever, the ONLY choice, and that if you fail to see their reality then you must be an "Obsessed 'Ted".
  15. They are only concerned with away attendances.Theirs is apparently the biggest and best ever (faithful and true) according to um.....them! 72 at Scunthorpe on a Tuesday versus 29,000 Sags turning up against Chelsea. Best away supporters in history
  16. Yeah but yeah but you lot were only formed in 1982! So have it Dean Windass and Rickie Lambert, 2nd of May (Not 2001 when Wycombe sent us to the basement mind, the other one!) Holloway, Gerry Francis, obsessed Ted's!
  17. Why are they so obsessed with attendances and their away following? They are almost as obsessed about it as they are about us.....Oh yeah, now I remember it is because they recently found out that Wally isn't as rich as Steve and they have been left to look like the gift that just can't help giving AGAIN ......
  18. Rickie Lambert has signed for Baadiff. So will all the sags be buying bluebird shirts with "Lambert" on the back? After all, they did it with England shirts years after he had left the club?
  19. And apparently they love Sir Colin Daniel as much as we do because if it wasn't for him they wouldn't have had such unprecedented success. Back to back promotions. Utter pandemonium at the end of last season because they were up to the dizzy heights of....wait for it....Division 3! Ahaahaaahaaa Ahaahaaahaaa....please stop it Sags I can't take all of these gifts!
  20. And now officially the most "tightfisted" ahaahaaahaaa
  21. They've got some loans from Chelsea after Wally had a chat with his bessie John Terry, and they are loan playered up to the hilt
  22. Wonga.com? High interest short term?
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