BigAl&Toby

Hang on. I don’t think it was Stevie. Wasn’t it Jonesy? Whatever it was it was bloody good times. ?

Is it me? Is Harry Steve’s love child? Who remembers SJ? His running around. His tan. His song. Or is it me? Are my reading glasses no longer upto the job of watching football? And whilst we’re talking forwards. Anis. Cross or shot?

**** me this isn’t rugby. Argue all you like about how much should have been added on but when time’s up, time’s up. Keef did ok tonight. Not his fault we aren’t 11th….

@MelksRed or as my dearly beloved and long dead grandfather used to say “there’s no pockets in shrouds my old son”. Something I remember every day and do my absolute best to live upto. And tell my kids. Just to manage their expectations….. ?

We did. Right in front of it. No. Scott was looking for it. Was there any reaction from anyone? Not that we saw. Not even from Scott. Apart from a wry smile and wave of the hands…… Good to see all the FIFA badge holders having such an opinion on the referee. Many must have eagle eye Action Man vision to have such a clear and unbiased view. Some comical and baffling decisions but hey ho. 3 points is 3 points. All that matters! ?

Bollocks. As so often. Did you get to Deepdale!

**** me… Frankie F is back. Is he bollocks. Look at Deepdale 7 days ago. Max kept us in it. Several times. Again and again. And today? Like a sweeper at times. Far better than Capn Dan IMHO. And we’re sitting right behind him. At DD and BS3.

He’s a miserable ******. One of the three apples of my eyes. The girls are too embarrassed. Can’t tell why….. He wouldn’t wear his. Even when I wore mine, fed the seagulls and shouted out “Gunny. Gunny. The seagulls is coming. And so’s this robin”. Life’s too short to take anything - including yourself - too seriously. I tell ‘ee. The club shop is missing a trick. And my Christ. That shirt. It’s a snug fit. In Nige and Steve we trust. Top six at 30 to 1 is on. Great effort today. Great win. ?

Someone next to us at Preston on Saturday had something similar. Inflatable it was. With blonde coloured hair. Only thing was it was the size of an Action Man. Or Woman. Or Person. He was waving it about a lot. The Action Man, Woman or Person inflatable thing. Seemed happy with his purchase! Imagine one of those under the rewards scheme….. ?

I used to love going into that old Green Shield stamp place on Broad Weir. Armed with carrier bags full of the books…… And come out with some old shit that wasn’t even worth the bus fare there and back. Looks like progress to me. In so much as you won’t need to waste time sticking stamps in books ? Loyalty schemes. Just another way of farming data. Absolute waste of time. Unless they were offering these beauties…..

So I drive to Derby in the Landy towing my Ifor Williams to get 9 rolls of chestnut paling fencing. I’d had this bizarre idea they’d fit in the back of the Landy and we’d get them en route to Preston. Ridiculous idea. Anyway I digress…… Driving back and with a hands free I phone up. Fuckkkkk me. Line busy. I’m at Tamworth. Where’s that pig…. Anyway I try again. I’m 32nd in the queue. Ok. I’ll hold on. 45 minutes later I’m 24th. And get cut off. Fuckkkkk me. I try again. I’m in. I’m 31st. Better than last time. It’s about 3.30….. I wait. And wait. Loads of masts on the M42. I go through the waiting and progress to 20th. Then get cut off. Fuckkkkk me. I ring back. And hear someone tell me the ticket office is open from 10am until 4pm. That’ll be it then. It’s 4pm. I start to think. Recorded message says season ticket seats reserved until 10am on Friday. But if the ticket office doesn’t open until 10am then our chances of getting “our” seats is gone. What about those latex robin masks I’ve just bought? I want Edersen to see them when he walks to the goal line and think fuckkkkkk me. What the fuckkkk is that? He’s not going to notice us if we aren’t right behind the goal….. Then I’m at Strensham. The diesel guzzling Landy needs a second fill of the day. The thought of Toby’s disappointed face flashes in front of me….. I go online. Easy. Tickets secured. All 3 of them. Wonder whether Toby’s sister will join us like last time? Will she wear a robin mask….. Edersen. These robins are coming for ‘ee…… ?

We’ll be there Saturday. Right behind the goal. And again to welcome Pep and his superstars. We’ll greet both Krul and Edersen wearing these beauties. Hey Tim. We ain’t ******* canaries. We be robins…… Oh yes. Laugh. I think we might! Club shop needs these. Imagine the reaction if more than just us 2 sad bastards are wearing them ? Christ. Life’s too short to be taken seriously. Might even get a jacket like the one in the picture and get my ex-missus to see on a Stone Island badge on it ? My recent Top 6 finish bet is looking good. In Lansdown I trust…. Had to get it in ?

The fans in the Bill Shankley Kop did their bit but there was another who helped us a bit. Some bloke called Bailey. No not Wright. Caravans. Twas an omen when Nige, Jase and Curtis walked out with the men in grey. Fate. The boys from BS3 walked out under another BS3 favourite. If you like caravans ? With our backs to the wall for the last 10 minutes or so things looked good. Bloody good. My recent £20 on a top 6 finish is looking safe…… ??

Were you sat behind us? Some dirty bastard simply knelt down in his seat behind us and pissed all over us….. Then - after a night of rain - me and brother and my old Mini had a police escort to the local police station as some other little bastard had smashed the driver’s window. Happy days. Christ. 29 years ago…..

Asking for a friend. Don’t post nonsense on here about stadium developments or the academy. Or funding closes. Thinking about it, the latter two might be valid. My friend wants to know what the Ls have done where it matters - on the green stuff. Or decisions they’ve made that directly affect that. Is there account in credit, or overdrawn? Me? Massively in debt. Maybe even bankrupt. I’m struggling to think of one…… Help my friend. Name some of his footballing successes…….

No you’re not. There’s at least one other who thinks he’s shit. Me. Oh hang on. Might be a minority of 2! Naismith is useless and clueless. When Capn Dan and he are in charge across the back it’s painful. Capn Dan plays it short to Naismith. Naismith fannies about and then has a dribble. Naismith loses the ball on or about the halfway line. Ball gets played back in over Naismith and pressure is back on. Repeat. Week after ******* week….. And that was at the beginning of the season. Pointing it out then and shot down in flames. Naismith was the answer. And look where we are now. Hasn’t Steve done well?

As relegation looms and as the sun is shining in Sydney I’m preparing myself for a long flight home. Back to Frome and then back to BS3 for some more fun filled Saturdays. Oh how I wished I could have taken my seat and watch us slide further towards the relegation zone….. And it got me thinking - a bit of light hearted relief. If the Lansdowns did cars, what car would they do. Here’s my starter for 10. Look at it. Doesn’t it look great. Sexy, curvy Italian lines. Look at the paintwork. Imagine what it’s like to sit inside, the prancing horse on your bonnet. So you open the door. You slide into the finest Maranello hide seats. You get out the key. It slides effortlessly into the ignition….. The anticipation is getting too much. Soon you’ll turn the key and the engine will roar and throb away….. But then you turn the key. It clicks. You can hear the fuel pump doing its best but the bastard won’t fire. And then it dawns on you. Good old Steve. He’s sold you a pup. This ain’t no Italian classic super car. He’s built and sold you a ******* replica ? A bit like AG. Looks good. Feels good. Might even - at times - sound good - The Killers were superb. But performance and results. Where things really matter. Ahhhh….. Anyway. Who’s up next?

No @Davefevs I was right. Who’s to blame? The ref. Pearson. Naismith. None of the above. I’ll tell ‘ee who’s to blame. The ******* baboon at the top of the ******* tree. The ultimate beneficial owner. He who has overall control. And responsibility. Yawn. Here he goes again. How about you @BTRFTG You enjoy the game? Who’s up for progress with Steve? Back to League One. Anyone…… Thank **** I’m sunning meself Down Under. Making us proud. In the Lansdowns some trust….. ?

I’m bored. You have your view. I have mine. I believe Lansdown has an ulterior motive in being the banker to BCFC. I’ve set that out. Every loss it makes, every time he puts more funds in, every debt he creates and converts means the football club is forever and increasingly in his debt. Meanwhile the jockey of the Trojan Horse sees the freeholds increase. There’s more to BS3 than just a modern day stadium with Dyson Airblades or Wickes. He whipped that beauty into Winterstoke Road and had his exit worked out well before he saddled up. I believe he knew that his end game was to acquire as much and as many freeholds as he could. Then sit and wait. Bit like a Boxing Day game of Monopoly. Buy up the plots, keep losing money through Parking Fines and Super Tax - hang on, loss making in one part of the group offset elsewhere, live on an island where his cows produce nice creamy milk - and all those round the table think WTF…… Why does he keep going….. Then as the egg nog comes out towards the end of the day BANG. The ****** funds a few “spare 500s he’s slipped under the board when no one was looking. And buys loads of little green houses and red hotels. And cleans up. Everyone else thinks **** me. Where did that come from? How did he do it? The biggest loser quietly and without fuss leans forward. He gently takes hold of the corners of the board. And flicks the lot high up into the air and smiles a rueful smile as the very same green and red blocks and even more undiscovered 500s fly and float around the room…….. But then again Steve and Steve’s family might prefer Cludo. I’ve no idea. About anything…… ? In many ways I hope your experience of accounting, business strategy, business psychology is better than mine. I’m sure it is. You don’t seem able or want to follow nuance. You appear to be a black and white, factual sort. Good on you. I wished at times I could be like that. There can’t be any reason why a man with so much money and who’s been so successful in other aspects of his professional life can make so many **** ups time and time again . Can there……. Anyway. I’m bored. I’m off. England are playing later in Qatar. How the **** did they ever get the World Cup? Ah yes. FIFA. Mr Blatter. Money. Who’d have ever thought such a thing was possible……..

@chinapig my reference to Enron is a simple one. It’s not meant to imply fraud or anything close to that. It’s a far simpler one. Accounts can present different pictures to different people. They may well be signed off or audited but it’s the questions that follow and the answers that are given that are really interesting - and illuminating. Questions perhaps that no one wanted to ask. About a scenario that no one ever thought possible…. Why would you continue spending £1.50 to get £1 back? Why wouldn’t you learn from your past mistakes and do something to make sure they didn’t happen again? Mind you I’ve been married and divorced 3 times, so what do I know? ?

You won’t have to hold your breath for long @BTRFTG I know you like my cash cow analogy so here’s another with a dairy theme….. Ever looked at the costs of production of a litre of milk and compared it to how much the average farmer gets from the producer? And wondered why some still carry on as their losses mount up? I have. Over many years. I even once went to Poland to see how dairy farmers there did what dairy farmers do here. And that showed that the costs of production were greater than what the farmer got from most producers. But they carry on milking away. Why? They often said it was generational. But those tenant farmers were usually the first to pack up. Those though who owned their acres? They struggled on, making loss after loss, and watched as those same acres increased in value. As one old boy said to me once, “they ain’t making any more of it”…… Bit like the accounts show I think. Costs more than a £1 for Steve to get a £1 back….. Lunacy…… Unless of course, like they farmers, the on sheet and off sheet assets are valued at a different amount than legitimately stated, aren’t even on the balance sheet in question, or are growing in value at a greater rate than those classes. But you’re right. I might well be deluded. Or I might not. Only time will tell. Whenever “our farmer” cashes in. Or his son does. Or his son’s son. And by then I’m guessing we might both be dead and buried. Or cremated. But you still haven’t answered me this. Is it beyond any degree of reasonableness that the scenario I suggest might, just might, be possible? I keep pumping cash into a loss making business whilst at the same time enjoy the freehold value growth in them there greenfields? ?

@BTRFTG time to reignite the debate now we have some upto date financials to ponder. Let’s leave @Davefevsand @Mr Popodopolous to do so some serious analysis around FFP and who was signed and sold for what. Let’s enjoy better facilities at AG - from Airblades to Pulled Pork. Let’s continue to enjoy whatever else it is you fancy standing behind to justify your lemming-type view that Mr L has done good. But ask yourself this. Who’s the constant in this shit show? Why stick at it? Because he can? Because he wants to make Bristol Proud? Because he’s a good egg? Or because the golden goose hasn’t quite yet squeezed out that Golden Egg - that takes me back - that little restaurant on the Triangle ? I understand Enron very well. Not everything included within accounts is as obvious as it seems. And of course there’s a lot not included in accounts that, if illuminated, show a very different picture. But hey. If you’re happy with how things are then who am I to suggest anything different. ?

@BTRFTG that’ll be me? Yep. Even now he has his hands on her teats. Pulling hard. Very hard. Look beyond the accounts young man. Look beyond Winterstoke Road. There be his ultimate cash cow….. Ask yourself this old wise one. Who has been the absolute constant in this mess? Why the **** would anyone with any common sense stick at it? And yes. Lovely facilities now. I enjoyed using the Airblade. Football though? Absolutely the same old rubbish……

A knighthood you say. **** me. Let’s hope “the ladies” choose better headwear…… ?

Exaggerated to make a point. Don’t take it too seriously. Surprised you’d think that such a “fantasist” would seriously think such bollocks. Marv wouldn’t have had such a conversation with Steve. Why would he? Why would Steve? He’d have his agents do all that. His advisors. You know the ones. They who’m part of those Merchant Venturers. Used to be jockeys on Black Horses. ?