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BigTone last won the day on July 9 2017

BigTone had the most liked content!

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About BigTone

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location:
    Poitou Charente, France
  • Interests
    BCFC, Fishing, Rugby League, Aussie Rules, Rachel Khoo & a good rowdy pint.

Recent Profile Visitors

5,959 profile views
  1. Happy 50th Birthday

    Toooo Yooouuu
  2. Celtic - SPL champions.....:laugh:!

    You're just jealous of Robbo's "Meet me at the Bowls Club" haircut
  3. Big Tone's 'Joke of the Day' thread

    Beyonce has just discovered that Roy Castle was really her father. Can’t see her taking his surname somehow….
  4. Sorry Pet, I didn't mean to scare you
  5. If Junior Bent and Luke Freeman had a love child....

    He was a legend who could run rings around all 11 opposition players, end up 3 foot in front of an open goal and still put the ball into the car park of the Robins pub
  6. If Junior Bent and Luke Freeman had a love child....

    and nice eyes
  7. Big Tone's 'Joke of the Day' thread

    A guy goes to the Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.” “OK, have you ever been in the military service?” “Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for one tour.” The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.” The interviewer grimaces and then says, “Okay. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. You can start tomorrow at 10 a.m., and plan on starting at 10 a.m. every day.” The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., why don’t you want me here until 10 a.m.?” “This is a government job”, the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.
  8. Big Tone's 'Joke of the Day' thread

    In the great 1890-days of the British Empire, a new Commanding Officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring Colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc.) which protocol decrees, the retiring Colonel said, “You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers. He’s my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless.” Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. “Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself.” “Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I’ve represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight boxing division. I have researched the history of……” At that point, the outgoing Colonel interrupted, “Yes, yes. Never mind that, Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to **** off.”
  9. Big Tone's 'Joke of the Day' thread

    One day God calls down to Noah and says, “Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark”. Noah replies, “No probs God, me old Supreme Being anything you want after all you’re the guv’. But God interrupts, “Ah, but there’s a catch. This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other”. 20 DECKS!”, screams Noah. “Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?” Yep, that’s right, well . .. sort of right . .. this time I want you to fill it up with fish”, God answers. Fish?”, queries Noah. “Yep, fish. . .well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp – wall to wall, floor to ceiling -Carp!” Noah looks to the skies. “OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?” “Check”. “With 20 decks, one on top of the other?” “Check”. “And you want it full of Carp?”. “Check”. “Why?” asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether. Dunno”, says God, “I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark”
  10. Fifty Reasons To Beat Fulham

    Hard to find 90 reasons to beat Fulham ?
  11. Scapegoat first eleven .

    Sorry, I forgot about her
  12. Big Tone's 'Joke of the Day' thread

    An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, ‘You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.’ The Irishman replies, ‘Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I’m here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we all drank together. ‘The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, ‘I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.’ The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. ‘Oh, no, ‘ he says, ‘Everyone is fine. I’ve just quit drinking!
  13. Scapegoat first eleven .

    I blame you
  14. Old, Old ? ................................ I know I'm feckin old and past my used by date !!!!