Merrick's Marvels Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 I was kept waiting outside Wickes on Wednesday afternoon, looking a lummox standing there with a new garden incinerator, because my lift was grilling our much-discussed and opinion-dividing ex-international central defender, Mr El Abd, not a quarter of a mile away up Winterstoke Road in the Sainsbury's car park. My lift, who has to remain anonymous (because he's been banned from Otib) now takes up the story: "Exciting news I bring to the fervent Otib community. Adam El Abd is alive and well! There he was, about to load a small shop into the boot of his car, when he was gently interrupted by me. 'Alright, Adam,' I began. 'Alright, mate.' Good start. He offered his hand as I declared my allegiance and did enough to convince him I wasn't a fruitcake. I wished him well for the upcoming season and asked what he had been up to in training earlier. A long run and some ball work, was the reply. Adam then offered his thoughts on his start here at AG, admitting it had not gone well and saying that he wanted to show people that he could play and was not the player we have seen so far. I nodded and made empathic responses, sufficient for him to offer that he had struggled with moving away from Brighton, having been there, one club, all his career. The impression was given that finding moving to a new club such a struggle had come as some surprise to him. He also went onto say, more than once, 'I'm a family man,' suggesting that being away from them had had a detrimental impact. Adam said that his family were due to move and join him here in September. Adam thanked me for my kind words, we shook hands again, and returned to loading his boot. I must say, he was approachable, chatty and prepared to admit to his failings here, thus far. Not every player I have met has managed this. Although, not every player has started here quite like Adam! But I got the impression of someone determined to do better and looking forward to having his nearest and dearest with him. He wasn't whining or blaming anyone else. , My Tactical Observations: throughout this short conversation, Adam was on the half-turn, and touch-tight with both the boot of his car, and his trolley, while keeping me at more than arm's length, so full marks there. He was focussed and kept his concentration, not so much guilty of ball watching, more a case of odd-ball watching. He never took his bloody eyes off me! Good move. This bloke is no mug, let me tell you. Looking tanned, tattoed and trim, Adam could easily have out-paced me, or chinned me, whichever the situation demanded, ready to do the professional thing. Kicking me in the shins wouldn't have worked, however, as I happened to be wearing my shinpads on this occasion. The boot of the car was a little jumbled, I could see two City home tops under a pile of other bits and bobs, and he might need to be more organised at the back come August, but that would be my only concern. I will file my report to Cotts very soon. Anyhow, a nice chap, seemed to appreciate the kind words, and I for one am happy to support all players wearing the shirt, regardless. Certainly up until the end of August. Although, there's nothing to say Adam won't bugger off somewhere else or that Cotts might ease him out the door. I don't know. Just saying, he's a bloke like you and me. He'll do better if we can show him some love and encouragement. Sorry if this is too happy-clappy for some, but the opposite just don't work. Finally, I didn't tell Adam, but with what he bought in Sainsbury's this Wednesday, he'll never make proper gravy with that. No chance. So, there you have it, folks. A first hand account. Adam El Abd, alive and shopping in BS3 this week. Thank you." RHLQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Did you call him "El Bad " ?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Ha ! Too slow Stockhausen ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrahamC Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Fascinating stuff. But perhaps not as fascinating as why RHLQ, vacuum cleaner salesman, esteemed councillor, a man who was slightly confused over football trust floodlight money etc, etc was banned from OTIB.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glynriley Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 I was kept waiting outside Wickes on Wednesday afternoon, looking a lummox standing there with a new garden incinerator, because my lift was grilling our much-discussed and opinion-dividing ex-international central defender, Mr El Abd, not a quarter of a mile away up Winterstoke Road in the Sainsbury's car park. My lift, who has to remain anonymous (because he's been banned from Otib) now takes up the story: "Exciting news I bring to the fervent Otib community. Adam El Abd is alive and well! There he was, about to load a small shop into the boot of his car, when he was gently interrupted by me. 'Alright, Adam,' I began. 'Alright, mate.' Good start. He offered his hand as I declared my allegiance and did enough to convince him I wasn't a fruitcake. I wished him well for the upcoming season and asked what he had been up to in training earlier. A long run and some ball work, was the reply. Adam then offered his thoughts on his start here at AG, admitting it had not gone well and saying that he wanted to show people that he could play and was not the player we have seen so far. I nodded and made empathic responses, sufficient for him to offer that he had struggled with moving away from Brighton, having been there, one club, all his career. The impression was given that finding moving to a new club such a struggle had come as some surprise to him. He also went onto say, more than once, 'I'm a family man,' suggesting that being away from them had had a detrimental impact. Adam said that his family were due to move and join him here in September. Adam thanked me for my kind words, we shook hands again, and returned to loading his boot. I must say, he was approachable, chatty and prepared to admit to his failings here, thus far. Not every player I have met has managed this. Although, not every player has started here quite like Adam! But I got the impression of someone determined to do better and looking forward to having his nearest and dearest with him. He wasn't whining or blaming anyone else. , My Tactical Observations: throughout this short conversation, Adam was on the half-turn, and touch-tight with both the boot of his car, and his trolley, while keeping me at more than arm's length, so full marks there. He was focussed and kept his concentration, not so much guilty of ball watching, more a case of odd-ball watching. He never took his bloody eyes off me! Good move. This bloke is no mug, let me tell you. Looking tanned, tattoed and trim, Adam could easily have out-paced me, or chinned me, whichever the situation demanded, ready to do the professional thing. Kicking me in the shins wouldn't have worked, however, as I happened to be wearing my shinpads on this occasion. The boot of the car was a little jumbled, I could see two City home tops under a pile of other bits and bobs, and he might need to be more organised at the back come August, but that would be my only concern. I will file my report to Cotts very soon. Anyhow, a nice chap, seemed to appreciate the kind words, and I for one am happy to support all players wearing the shirt, regardless. Certainly up until the end of August. Although, there's nothing to say Adam won't bugger off somewhere else or that Cotts might ease him out the door. I don't know. Just saying, he's a bloke like you and me. He'll do better if we can show him some love and encouragement. Sorry if this is too happy-clappy for some, but the opposite just don't work. Finally, I didn't tell Adam, but with what he bought in Sainsbury's this Wednesday, he'll never make proper gravy with that. No chance. So, there you have it, folks. A first hand account. Adam El Abd, alive and shopping in BS3 this week. Thank you." RHLQ. Bring back Les I say. Can't begin to imagine what he was banned for, he was never offensive in my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Fascinating stuff. But perhaps not as fascinating as why RHLQ, vacuum cleaner salesman, esteemed councillor, a man who was slightly confused over football trust floodlight money etc, etc was banned from OTIB.. Yeah we need to know . I thought he was just absent having his gallstones polished but now it appears he's gout on his ear ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Has he had his "right honourable" removed or was it the left one ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calculus Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Fascinating stuff. But perhaps not as fascinating as why RHLQ, vacuum cleaner salesman, esteemed councillor, a man who was slightly confused over football trust floodlight money etc, etc was banned from OTIB.. Didn't he sack Roy Hodgson? Worth a reprieve for that far sighted act alone, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Bring back Les. I'd more or less forgotten about him, but posts such as the above are a reminder of what an entertaining asset he is to the forum. Surely whatever he was banned for, he's no more than a harmless old scallywag and it's time for another chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phileas Fogg Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Nice story but it's a no from me to bringing him back, lots of meaningless waffle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Nice story but it's a no from me to bringing him back, lots of meaningless waffle He's not obliged to read your posts ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Interesting that the RHLQ can manage to include a reference to gravy in any subject. Has he some sort of gravy fetish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrick's Marvels Posted July 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 The mods thought so, Pongo - hence the ban! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Nice story but it's a no from me to bringing him back, lots of meaningless waffleI'd prefer 'irrelevent waffle' as it's one of my founding forum principles. It takes all sorts to keep the human race, err, running and I for one appreciate this diversity. Granted, not everyone's personality is to my taste; bland conformity being my biggest bugbear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TNBT Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Definitely think RHLQ should be allowed back think there's plenty worse people still allowed on here. Would also like to know what you get banned for as don't know the rules not that I'd read or abide by them :-) Good to know Adam knows of his failings & is looking to improve, hopefully he'll get a decent start to the season showing he's turned it around to help us to the league title :-) not that I expect us to can't sound to optimistic on here I'm sure it's not allowed :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Not only reinstated and reunited with this here forum, the Right Honourable one should also be re-Knighted and awarded a months supply of Oxo cubes for every year of his reign. Crown him crown him crown him Lord Les Almighty. Come on you mods release him from the stocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phileas Fogg Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 I'd prefer 'irrelevent waffle' as it's one of my founding forum principles. It takes all sorts to keep the human race, err, running and I for one appreciate this diversity. Granted, not everyone's personality is to my taste; bland conformity being my biggest bugbear! Fair enough, just not for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Not only reinstated and reunited with this here forum, the Right Honourable one should also be re-Knighted and awarded a months supply of Oxo cubes for every year of his reign. Crown him crown him crown him Lord Les Almighty. Come on you mods release him from the stocks.I started to read this and agreed with what you wrote until I got to the bit about Oxo cubes. Please get a grip - the last thing we need is something that encourages his gravy fetish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 I started to read this and agreed with what you wrote until I got to the bit about Oxo cubes. Please get a grip - the last thing we need is something that encourages his gravy fetish. get yer drift Pongo ...... Ahhhhhhh B 'r' I S T O 'l' .... in an instant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Orns Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Is RHLQ related to our Great Uncle Roger does anyone know? I miss him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
British Steel Posted July 5, 2014 Report Share Posted July 5, 2014 Had a very convivial evening in the company of Sir Les, his agent (MM), his nurse and assorted medication tonight, watching the WC. Seems like his absence from this forum is related to going, er. off-piste on occasions. His memory is still intact ( we somehow got on to discussing one of TC's last appearance for City up at York in 84) and he seemed in pretty good physical fettle. Passes on his best to anyone who might care and asked me to say he has some cracking gravy recipes up his sleeve which he'd like to share with you one day........... PS His exclusive in-depth interview with our esteemed Egyptian international also seemed credible, by his standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screech Posted July 5, 2014 Report Share Posted July 5, 2014 Roger Malone was last night quietly celebrating in his nursing home his new 12 month contract for Radio Luxembourg. He may have got the through the night time slot, but still gets good listening figures, topping 35 just last Saturday. Sir Les had started to get a bit of an ego, trying to grab more precious internet traffic from Sir Steve. It was all about Sir Les, a real limelight grabber. Makes a very good rabbit stew too so I hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnclosureSurge Posted July 5, 2014 Report Share Posted July 5, 2014 Fair enough, just not for me. Personally, I'm with Phileas. The lad RHLQ is just not my cup of tea. All that getting my name wrong every time - is he dyslec.. dislyx... Des Licks... able to read? - you'd almost think he was doing it on purpose... Keep that kind of nonsense off otib, I say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo88 Posted July 5, 2014 Report Share Posted July 5, 2014 Personally, I'm with Phileas. The lad RHLQ is just not my cup of tea. All that getting my name wrong every time - is he dyslec.. dislyx... Des Licks... able to read? - you'd almost think he was doing it on purpose... Keep that kind of nonsense off otib, I say.Spluge, I'm sure Sir Les didn't intentionally get your name wrong. It's easy to make a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnclosureSurge Posted July 6, 2014 Report Share Posted July 6, 2014 Spluge, I'm sure Sir Les didn't intentionally get your name wrong. It's easy to make a mistake. Cheers, Ping Pong. As brothers, I expect more, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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