Champion Dung Spreader Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Sainsburys are going to be exclusively selling new special edition "Gas" OXO cubes in their Gloucester Road branch - customers have been told to look out for laughing stocks in Horfield Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Net Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 12 hours ago, Rudolf Hucker said: What's the difference between a 5km run around The Colony and Wael appearing on Celebrity Masterchef? One's a pant in the country. We have a winner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gert Mare Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 I saw Stuart Sinclair walking down the street the other day wearing only one shoe. "Alright Stu? Have you lost a shoe?". He replied, "No, I found one" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gert Mare Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Steve Hamer was surprised to be set upon by the GHS head butting the windows of his car this morning. "I don't know what their problem is ?", said Steve, "They asked me how Plan B was progressing? 'TENTatively' I replied. They went ballistic!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumRed Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Tough crowd, maybe it's just my accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirColinOfMansfield Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Wael al-Qadi and Darrell Clarke fly to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football and they are suitably impressed and arrange for him to come over. Two weeks later Bristol Rovers are 4-0 down to Dover with only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Bristol Rovers. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me." "Wonderful" says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time." The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry." "Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we came to Horfield in the first place!" Boom, boom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackers Corner Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 What do you call a trillionaire, sorry billionaire, sorry millionaire, sorry someone with a family who have a couple of quid? answer: ?No idea ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 I wouldn't worry too much about what our Rovers friends have got to say.A chap I work with is a Rovers fan, and I had to explain to him last week that a MILF actually referred to someone else's mum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cityexile Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Having recently taken over the gas, Wael is a bit perplexed to suddenly find a bit of lettuce sticking out his bottom. This cannot be right he thinks, and takes himself off to the Doctor, who indeed sees the little bit of lettuce sticking out, but cannot really give a reason. However in discussion Wael mentions his new role. O dear, says the doctor. I have worked out what is wrong and it is not good news I am afraid. What is sticking out your bottom is just the tip of the iceberg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B1ackbird Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 3 hours ago, PHILINFRANCE said: I wouldn't worry too much about what our Rovers friends have got to say.A chap I work with is a Rovers fan, and I had to explain to him last week that a MILF actually referred to someone else's mum! Not in their case... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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