One BCFC Posted April 30, 2018 Report Share Posted April 30, 2018 2 hours ago, ziderheadarmy said: So she’s got a child? Where’s the biological father or is this the same guy? So she's got a child? Signs that this is the end of the chase for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 1, 2018 Report Share Posted May 1, 2018 Heart says this could be a nice love story but head says run for the hills. And not because there is a child involved, although that does add complications. I think you have done enough of the running and have been more than patient. I don’t want to sound harsh but she seems to want to have her cake and eat it or doesn’t know what she wants. She seems to have a lot of baggage, but she does have a huge support too, does she like the attention she is getting from all sides? I think if you ever got her to commit to you that you would have your hands full maintaining any kind of relationship and it would be a ‘three people in this relationship’ type, (or even four,)her, you, family and friend. You will probably end up being last on the list. If you think you can take this all on then by all means go for it, but I think YOU will be making all the sacrifices and having to tiptoe round making everyone happy and possibly making yourself more and more miserable once the novelty has worn off. This potential relationship doesn’t seem very equal to me and that’s not steady ground to build on. I hope I haven’t upset you. M x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle Rick Posted May 1, 2018 Report Share Posted May 1, 2018 On 30/04/2018 at 18:36, ziderheadarmy said: That’s all very nice and that but if she thought anything if you she would also put some effort in. Who and why is she getting drunk with this other guy every night? Do you seriously believe nothing goes on between them once she’s had a few drinks? How would she feel if you were out or spending time with a women here most days? Sounds to me like she’s a head messer (can’t use the correct word) Thought same. And I wouldn’t want to be closely associated with anyone who gets drunk every night. Or even every week. Especially someone who I have interest in as a potential partner. Sounds a good idea to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 8, 2018 Report Share Posted May 8, 2018 On 01/05/2018 at 23:31, ziderheadarmy said: Tell you what might work or at least get some honesty out of her... Send her a link to this thread! I went better than that, that note I wrote for myself for closure I sent it off to her and put in some pics of me and her. It literally said everything I wanted to say to her in it. She been working away at the Ed Sheeran concerts and got home Last night and then I got a message from my friend saying she had just come around to his house and is crying her eyes out cos of the letter I sent her. She then sent me a message saying “you have made me cry” She then went on and said she likes to act like a tough nut and she has BIG walls up and doesn’t let her guard down easily but the letter and pics made her laugh, cry and touched her and that no one has ever done something like that for her before. From the time I’ve spent with her it was pretty easy to see that she’s got walls up, at times I thought nah she’s just playing me but I have always seen something in her that says to me that’s not the case, but I have questioned it many times! I’ll admit it doesn’t help that I also have walls up! I am quite happy to just leave this like it is now but there is that feeling that if she’s crying about me then it’s worth pursuing cos I’ve obviously had some sort of effect on her, but she just doesn’t like to admit it. But then i am also very aware that breaking down those walls ain’t no easy task. All this is new to her as she ain’t used to it so that actually puts her guard up even more, add on the fact I live in England and I can see why she is resisting falling for me, even though it’s clear to see she has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 11, 2018 Report Share Posted May 11, 2018 On 08/05/2018 at 22:54, ziderheadarmy said: @Up The City! that’s great mate. But what about the elephant in the room? Also known as the bloke she gets pissed with every night? Me and my friends prefer to call him ratface cos we’ll he got a face like a rat and he acts like a rat too I’m really not sure what I’m going to do next. I am happy to just leave it there on a real good note knowing I managed to get behind her walls. But there is that niggling feeling of going back to Ireland and seeing how it goes. But I do have some good memories from last time so if i don’t even get to see her then that would be a bit shitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 13, 2018 Report Share Posted May 13, 2018 Big decision to make, my friends in Ireland have organised another night out in two weeks time, I’ve been invited and said girl is attending. After the last night out my mind is torn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2018 Report Share Posted May 13, 2018 1 hour ago, Up The City! said: Big decision to make, my friends in Ireland have organised another night out in two weeks time, I’ve been invited and said girl is attending. After the last night out my mind is torn. If you don’t go you’ll be always wondering what if. If it doesn’t come to anything it seems like the point where to write it off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 14, 2018 Report Share Posted May 14, 2018 21 hours ago, Tomarse said: If you don’t go you’ll be always wondering what if. If it doesn’t come to anything it seems like the point where to write it off The last night out was pretty amazing, almost like it was just the two of us in the night club, but we didn’t talk for days after because she had let her walls down that night and it took about a week after for the awkwardness to go. We’ve never really even spoken about that night since. It was such a great night, and I had other good times with her whilst I was over, I’m worried about this time not being as good and that ruining the memory of last time? If that makes sense? But then it could go even better. Now I know I’ve got behind her walls I’m ready to just go for it with her, if I can get her alone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 You need to make a decision, she sounds like she loves the attention. Kick her into touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeh Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 i went to school with my partner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottishRed Posted May 16, 2018 Report Share Posted May 16, 2018 On 14/05/2018 at 11:44, Up The City! said: The last night out was pretty amazing, almost like it was just the two of us in the night club, but we didn’t talk for days after because she had let her walls down that night and it took about a week after for the awkwardness to go. We’ve never really even spoken about that night since. It was such a great night, and I had other good times with her whilst I was over, I’m worried about this time not being as good and that ruining the memory of last time? If that makes sense? But then it could go even better. Now I know I’ve got behind her walls I’m ready to just go for it with her, if I can get her alone... Sorry mate I have been following this but never felt I had much to say that might help until now reading the 'walls' stuff. If it was me I would go across for the night out if you can but make arrangements to see the girl prior to it e.g. the day before and somewhere when you can talk away from all others. At that meeting I would talk about the 'walls' and how you felt when she let her guard down previously and explain fully how you feel and how you want things to go - ball firmly in her court then ( quick tip - do not do this in a pub or when you have had a couple). She may open up there and then our she may not but my advice is make it totally clear how you feel but also that you cannot wait forever. From what I read your main problem is getting here on her own for enough time to have the conversation but its a conversation you need to have as soon as possible, if she wants to have it too you will find a way between to have in the privacy you need. Good luck mate, but remember, if it doesn't go the way you hope it might be best to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 16 hours ago, ScottishRed said: Sorry mate I have been following this but never felt I had much to say that might help until now reading the 'walls' stuff. If it was me I would go across for the night out if you can but make arrangements to see the girl prior to it e.g. the day before and somewhere when you can talk away from all others. At that meeting I would talk about the 'walls' and how you felt when she let her guard down previously and explain fully how you feel and how you want things to go - ball firmly in her court then ( quick tip - do not do this in a pub or when you have had a couple). She may open up there and then our she may not but my advice is make it totally clear how you feel but also that you cannot wait forever. From what I read your main problem is getting here on her own for enough time to have the conversation but its a conversation you need to have as soon as possible, if she wants to have it too you will find a way between to have in the privacy you need. Good luck mate, but remember, if it doesn't go the way you hope it might be best to move on. About a month ago we was joking about me coming back over, basically I was saying she should pay my ferry ticket and she said instead she will pay me back in cups of teas and I said that I will have to stay for 20 years for her to pay me back and she said how do you know that’s not my plan. She then asked what my plan was and I said well to just turn up at your door one day with a bag of cheeseburgers (a long running joke) she said she’s away for work until end of this week so I said it Be any time after that. So she’s expecting me but doesn’t know when, haven’t really spoken much since then. The issue is she’s been staying at her mums for the last few weeks (when not working (in a different town) she stays at her mums a lot cos she don’t like being alone. so I’m in a pickle about this ‘surprise’ I had planned with her cos don’t want to be knocking on her door when she’s not even there! I’m pleased you have commented on this post because what you have said is exactly my plan so gives me confidence that it’s what I need to do. My plan is to cut all the bulls hit out and if I can get her by herself to have a heart to heart with her, if she’s at home then that be quite easy cos can just knock on her door, but it all depends if she’s at home or not... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottishRed Posted May 17, 2018 Report Share Posted May 17, 2018 24 minutes ago, Up The City! said: About a month ago we was joking about me coming back over, basically I was saying she should pay my ferry ticket and she said instead she will pay me back in cups of teas and I said that I will have to stay for 20 years for her to pay me back and she said how do you know that’s not my plan. She then asked what my plan was and I said well to just turn up at your door one day with a bag of cheeseburgers (a long running joke) she said she’s away for work until end of this week so I said it Be any time after that. So she’s expecting me but doesn’t know when, haven’t really spoken much since then. The issue is she’s been staying at her mums for the last few weeks (when not working (in a different town) she stays at her mums a lot cos she don’t like being alone. so I’m in a pickle about this ‘surprise’ I had planned with her cos don’t want to be knocking on her door when she’s not even there! I’m pleased you have commented on this post because what you have said is exactly my plan so gives me confidence that it’s what I need to do. My plan is to cut all the bulls hit out and if I can get her by herself to have a heart to heart with her, if she’s at home then that be quite easy cos can just knock on her door, but it all depends if she’s at home or not... No I get that mate, so you have to 'engineer' the meeting - why not tell her you want to take her out for some food, just the two of you, and make the arrangements before you go over. If you have to tell her its a day that is 'special' to you - make something up - and come clean afterwards in that you needed not wanted, needed to get her alone and have a proper conversation about where things are at and how you want it to go from here. One way or another you should be able to find out where you stand and can move on accordingly. 'Faint heart never won fair lady'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 Well everyone... On the day I’m due to return to Ireland...This love story ends right here and it’s not the fairytale ending we all had hoped for. In the process of packing last night a friend of mine (and a friend of hers) messaged me and said I thought you should know that she’s now in a relationship, it’s been going on a while but was keeping it quiet. Why she was telling me I made her cry two weeks ago I don’t quite know. Tbh I kind of had a feeling anyways so not overly surprised. I always said to her the main thing was that we remain friends and I’m sure when we see each other we will still get on great. I do feel I should text her and say no hard feelings etc before I see her? Im pretty committed to this trip now and have made plans with my friends etc so can’t back out now even though I really want to as it’s not going to be too easy staying in the house next door to her for two weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 The tears two weeks ago were guilt because she knew how you felt, yet she also knew she was already with someone else. Hope you are still able to enjoy the trip, at least on one hand you know now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 On 22/05/2018 at 07:57, Dollymarie said: The tears two weeks ago were guilt because she knew how you felt, yet she also knew she was already with someone else. Hope you are still able to enjoy the trip, at least on one hand you know now. All this is strange. It was actually a relief when I was told cos can now move on. On the ferry here I thought I’d text her just to say no hard feelings etc before I got there. Her reply baffled me, almost as if she didn’t know what I was on about and she said why are you giving me the impression your saying goodbye. I got here yesterday morning and she was here waiting, wearing my jumper I gave her last time. The weird thing is we got on better yesterday than we ever have done, I suppose as I didn’t feel the need to impress her etc I was just able to be myself. We filled a swimming pool up together, We put a bbq together, went to shops together, cooked a bbq together, shared some beers and had a right laugh all day taking the piss out of each other all day and plenty of flirting from her. To anyone looking on it would have looked like we was a couple! Totally bizarre. My friend had a mechanic friend come over and she asked my friend to get his number! So something doesn’t quite add up. It’s either my friend and her winding me up or it was just an excuse as she doesn’t want anything. I think where I am at is yesterday was real nice but unlike last time I won’t get caught up in all of that and won’t do any chasing at all. I’ll take whatever comes but more interested in just having a nice holiday. Last time I was out here I was under a lot of stress and the stress of her so wasn’t able to enjoy myself, I’ve come back here now feeling like a different person to last time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screech Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 Not sure I am wholly on board with @ziderheadarmy professional opinion of her being a cock teaser but you are a really easy target because you play along. It definitely seems like she was happily stringing you along. You've been caught up in a one way relationship, sorry to say it but you need to accept that she just craves attention from blokes. A classic trophy wife for someone. I would turn the screw and smash all of her friends over the next two weeks, you'll leave Ireland feeling cleansed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 34 minutes ago, ziderheadarmy said: She sounds like a real head messer mate. I wouldn’t get out ASAP and find someone who deserves your time and attention. Shes a cock teaser end of story! 11 minutes ago, screech said: Not sure I am wholly on board with @ziderheadarmy professional opinion of her being a cock teaser but you are a really easy target because you play along. It definitely seems like she was happily stringing you along. You've been caught up in a one way relationship, sorry to say it but you need to accept that she just craves attention from blokes. A classic trophy wife for someone. I would turn the screw and smash all of her friends over the next two weeks, you'll leave Ireland feeling cleansed. I get what your both saying and trust me I have the same thoughts from time to time. I’ve given up on chasing her or waiting for anything to happen and just taking it as it comes and taking it for what it is now. Like I’ve always said to her and on here the most important thing is our friendship and the last two days our friendship has grown a lot. The shyness between us both has all but gone, I pretty much just walk into her house as and when I please now. She just invited me around but I said no. 2moro me her, her daughter and my son are off to Galway Bay for the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 13 minutes ago, Up The City! said: I get what your both saying and trust me I have the same thoughts from time to time. I’ve given up on chasing her or waiting for anything to happen and just taking it as it comes and taking it for what it is now. Like I’ve always said to her and on here the most important thing is our friendship and the last two days our friendship has grown a lot. The shyness between us both has all but gone, I pretty much just walk into her house as and when I please now. She just invited me around but I said no. 2moro me her, her daughter and my son are off to Galway Bay for the day. Isn't this a somewhat new development on this thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 42 minutes ago, PHILINFRANCE said: Isn't this a somewhat new development on this thread? Oh yes so it is. So the last time I came here I came for a week or so by myself, and then flew back and came back over here for 2 weeks with him and then dropped him to Dublin airport and I stayed on for a extra week. Him and her get on extremely well and have had a weird bond ever since they met a year ago. My son is 3 and her daughter is 4 and they get on real well too. Today we sat in her garden for a few hours and then walked to the woods and had a picnic and later on drive to the next town and had a kfc. 41 minutes ago, ziderheadarmy said: So where is the new bloke? Is the new bloke rat face? If not how’s rat face taking all this? Can we see a photo? I want to see what the attraction is. Like flies round shit Yes, this would make a superb drama. It’s got most twists than a eastenders Christmas episode I have absolutely no idea about this new bloke, could all be a wind up for all I know... Rat face was around for 10 mins last night then went. He’s since got himself a flat... a photo of ratface? I’m just seeing this as a friendship thing right now and enjoying having company to do these things with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 7 hours ago, ziderheadarmy said: No of her. Ehy don’t you just ask her outright and then you will actually know? Smoke her out, least you know either way? Today will be the longest we’ve ever spent alone together. It’s a good two hour drive so I’m gonna try and say something along the way. But finding out she possibly has a fella was quite a relief as I was able to come here without any hopes so am able to just enjoy myself and be myself cos I don’t feel there is any need to impress anymore. The worst case scenario is out of all this I have gained a real good friend who is on my level, where we are comfortable calling each other a bitch and a see you next Tuesday. It is unbelievable how similar we actually are. I have just enjoyed getting closer to her and her daughter these past few days. i know on here it’s quite easy to assume she’s a player etc and I’ve had those conversations with myself but it’s just not really the feeling I get from her. Got to remember she’s a girl that’s been hurt a lot and doesn’t trust or let people in easily. Sending her that letter appears to have let me get behind those walls. 2moro night at the night club will be interesting cos can compare it to how she was with me there last time. I need to avoid things going to far like last time tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 I do think you’re setting yourself up to get hurt again, because of how you feel about her, but you’re the one who needs to go through this and come out the other side. On a separate note, I went to Galway Bay years back, was beautiful. I hope she’s going to vote yes before you go anywhere today though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 46 minutes ago, Dollymarie said: I do think you’re setting yourself up to get hurt again, because of how you feel about her, but you’re the one who needs to go through this and come out the other side. On a separate note, I went to Galway Bay years back, was beautiful. I hope she’s going to vote yes before you go anywhere today though! It’s a strange one cos so far I’ve not really felt any feelings like last time, hence why I am myself around her. I am literally not chasing her at all this time, off limits as far as I’m aware, she’s the one who keeps inviting herself along to these things. Ive always wanted to go to Galway so I’m delighted to be going today, just got to put up with her for the day sadly 22 minutes ago, ziderheadarmy said: What’s her new bloke think about her going off for the day with some random guy? Or is he her next play thing? Go careful mate I can see this all ending in tears! Strange ain’t it? Let me say this, she’s a real loyal person when she’s with someone so doing something like this just isn’t her tbh. The only tears will be from her my plan is to go on the pull 2moro night tbh. Got to keep my 100% pull rate record in Ireland in tact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 12 hours ago, Up The City! said: Oh yes so it is. So the last time I came here I came for a week or so by myself, and then flew back and came back over here for 2 weeks with him and then dropped him to Dublin airport and I stayed on for a extra week. Him and her get on extremely well and have had a weird bond ever since they met a year ago. My son is 3 and her daughter is 4 and they get on real well too. Hold up, you dropped a 3 year old at the airport and left? 2 hours ago, Up The City! said: The only tears will be from her my plan is to go on the pull 2moro night tbh. Got to keep my 100% pull rate record in Ireland in tact Where’s your child going to be when you go out “on the pull” ? Somethings not adding up here. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 5 minutes ago, ziderheadarmy said: It’s not Jeremy Kyle, Dolly! Let’s go full Kyle and have the lie detector and DNA results. Female Intuition is saying this sounds strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILINFRANCE Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 1 hour ago, RedM said: Let’s go full Kyle and have the lie detector and DNA results. Female Intuition is saying this sounds strange. My male intuition has been saying something similar for quite some time now. I may be mistaken - it wouldn't be the first time - but did I not read on another thread some time ago that @Up The City! is, unlike the avatar, actually female? Not that, in itself, that is a particular problem (the romance, that is, not being female), but, if this is the case, then it is perhaps not surprising that the whole history of this budding romance seems so complicated - or even, heaven forbid, invented . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miah Dennehy Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 Weird thread of the year award goes to.... Oh, and in answer to the original question, down the pub ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Dicks' Barmy Army Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 50 minutes ago, ziderheadarmy said: Hang on, this is a lesbian relationship? What about rat face? Is it male, female or a he/she? Come on @Up The City! We are all intrigued now Are you a female? Are you dating a female? Ps enjoy Ireland, I was in the forces out there it is a lovely place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 Day 3 update. Absolutely lovely day in Galway, lots of laughs and good times. Can pretty much say the shyness is gone and we’re very comfortable around each other. My friend text me earlier, the one who told me that she is now with someone and said what are you both like, you are clearly a lot more than friends and that she’s not telling me what to do but is just saying what it is like. As far as I’m concerned she is off the market so I’m just taking it for what it is and that’s just a friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 @Up The City! so can you explain the things above that don’t quite seem to add up then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.