54-46 Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school. Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering. Seems like one for David Brent to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRISTOL86 Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 “Ensure targets are me” Chortle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
54-46 Posted June 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 1 minute ago, BRISTOL86 said: “Ensure targets are me” Chortle. Great spot. When can you start? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRISTOL86 Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Just now, 54-46 said: Great spot. When can you start? The analytics suggest that I’d bring far too much brand synergy and hyperoptimisation for them to handle. Plus, they can’t afford me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Hitler Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 What a waste of money; how many season tickets are going to fund this pointless functionary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZiderEyed Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 "Ensuring new brands are embedded in the organisation, creating buy in from colleagues and customers" Can someone with an A-Level in business speak please let me know what this means, and if it's as sinister as it reads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 16 minutes ago, 54-46 said: Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school. Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering. Seems like one for David Brent to me. What utter bollocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dastardly and Muttley Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 2 minutes ago, ZiderEyed said: "Ensuring new brands are embedded in the organisation, creating buy in from colleagues and customers" Can someone with an A-Level in business speak please let me know what this means, and if it's as sinister as it reads. Means we’re buying the Gas. Just now, Dastardly and Muttley said: Means we’re buying the Gas. Either that, or Zlatan’s joining... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Orns Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Mrs Woodsy does this kind of stuff. Baffles the **** out of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Red Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Bullshit baffles brains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
54-46 Posted June 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Building brand equity Establishing and overseeing a brand guardianship policy What does any of it all mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cider_boy Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 OK, I'll do it. £9k per week will be acceptable, I don't want to break any wage limits. I'll put the same amount of effort in as the players did in the second half of the season, and if it doesn't work out they can lend me to build brand equity at Cheltenham. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saturday Boy Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Do they require do a DNA test? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lympsham Red Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 20 minutes ago, ZiderEyed said: "Ensuring new brands are embedded in the organisation, creating buy in from colleagues and customers" Can someone with an A-Level in business speak please let me know what this means, and if it's as sinister as it reads. As someone current taking an A-Level in Business, I believe this means, in layman's terms, creating new brands relating to Bristol Sport (maybe merchandise, perhaps hinting at new teams...?) and ensuring that these new brands are purchased and liked by existing Bristol Sport customers. I.e. maybe Bristol Sport launch an independent clothing range and its the Brand Manager's job to ensure that existing customers like us ST holders buy said products. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archie andrews Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 what would berol say about all this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedZepperin Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Which of these bullet points relates to the part of the job where you have to check if the shirts have got Bristol City labels on them or Oxford United ones? And is Robbored one of the key drivers? (slaps thigh) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukneil Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 When in business school a rather long time ago a Marketing Professor told me 'marketing is just a bunch of jargon and common sense'. 20 years of my own experience proved he was right on the jargon, aka bs (no pun intended) and while common sense was mostly all that was required there was in fact little appetite for straight talking. I drive a big truck for a living now, I am much happier! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merrick's Marvels Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 16 minutes ago, Northern Red said: Bullshit baffles brains. Mark Ashton's motto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumRed Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Why do some points end with a full stop and others not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singingsuperstar Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 1 minute ago, RumRed said: Why do some points end with a full stop and others not? Cos the office knobs can't ******* punctuate for shizzz. DNA in this instance = do not apply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singingsuperstar Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 9 minutes ago, Merrick's Marvels said: Mark Ashton's motto. 25 minutes ago, Northern Red said: Bullshit baffles brains. Hmmm more like Mark "shit for brains" Ashton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 After reading that I think we all need to batten down the hatches as a hell of a lot of pushing the brand is coming our way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumRed Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 I’m also liking the first point. I’d hope any applicant really didn’t need the word ‘positively’ included in order to understand the job role! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid in the Riot Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 As the late, great Bill Hicks said "By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing...please kill yourself". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downendcity Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Translation supplied by Stanley Unwin. “Are you all sitty comftybold two-square on your botty? Then I'll begin. Now, like all real life experience stories, this also begins once a polly tito, and Happiness Stan, whose life evolved the ephemeral colour dreamy most, and his deep joy in this being the multicolour of the moon. Oh yes. His home a victoriana charibold, the four-wheel folloped ft-ft-ft out the back. Now, as eve on his deep approach, his eye on the moon. Alltime sometime deept joy of a full moon scintyladen dangly in the heavenly bode. But now only half! So, gathering all behind him the hintermost, he ploddy-ploddy forward into the deep complicadent fundermold of the forry to sort this one out.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meh Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 28 minutes ago, archie andrews said: what would berol say about all this? She would say spell my name right young man - I’m not a ******* ball-point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivorguy Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 And some on otib still believe in BS. Unbelievable. Perhaps now some of the doubters will understand what some of us have been warning about for a long time And, yes I have headed a multi million pound concern and would never have allowed such a nonsense jargon ridden advert to have appeared in my name. Does anyone for a moment thinks JL understands a word of it Deeply worrying what is happening to our beloved City. Wake up some of you and smell the coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumRed Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 40 minutes ago, 54-46 said: Building brand equity Establishing and overseeing a brand guardianship policy What does any of it all mean? 1. Make more people recognise Bristol Sport and each of the underlying clubs so we get more money from outside sponsors and investors. (So sanitise all us fat messy buggers that make Ashton Gate look scruffy). 2. Make sure no one makes any dickish comments and stupid decisions that damage the brand. (Should be easy to fix, send JL on a 10 year factfinding mission to Mongolia). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRISTOL86 Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 31 minutes ago, archie andrews said: what would berol say about all this? How would she have felt? Edit: Dammit @Neo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRISTOL86 Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 2 minutes ago, Ivorguy said: And, yes I have headed a multi million pound concern and would never have allowed such a nonsense jargon ridden advert to have appeared in my name. What’s their twitter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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