Bristol Sport - Job Ad

[Ron W]

And here is Adam's replacement. Because you can only "move with the times" by thinking of your football club as nothing more than a brand.

Don't say I didn't warn you. There was nothing wrong with marketing the club and thinking about things from more than just a business point of view. Both are possible... until you sack your media manager and then fabricate a story that he chose to leave your media manager leaves to spend more time with his family, right?

[Bryans Left Peg]

33 minutes ago, RumRed said:

Why do some points end with a full stop and others not?

Was about to raise this myself. Not sure why it annoys me so much! 

[Ivorguy]

10 minutes ago, BRISTOL86 said:

What’s their twitter?  

Good point but I took early retirement before the Internet age got properly started, but my successors have never tweeted save through the official twitter account.

Bearing out my point on the JL thread

[Merrick's Marvels]

28 minutes ago, Kid in the Riot said:

As the late, great Bill Hicks said "By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing...please kill yourself".

Saw him live at the Victoria Rooms, early 90s. He began the show with a terrific joke about Stoke and what a shithole it is.

I held him in high esteem at the time but that sealed the deal! Top man. 

[Big Red Rich]

19 minutes ago, Bryans Left Peg said:

Was about to raise this myself. Not sure why it annoys me so much! 

And sometimes it's Brand and others it's brand? 

[Bristol Rob]

I think 'buy in' should by hyphenated as well.

[Wolf Island]

Sounds like one of LJ’s post match interviews 

[Harry]

1 hour ago, Kid in the Riot said:

As the late, great Bill Hicks said "By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing...please kill yourself".

Was gonna say exactly the same thing. 

 

[Lew-T]

I went into marketing when I finished my A Levels.

I hated it, so I then became a Electrician..

[BanburyRed]

2 hours ago, 54-46 said:

Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school.

Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering.

Seems like one for David Brent to me. 

 

What complete and utter bollocks! Sorry it just is. If you have to keep using the term 'brand' in almost every sentence then something has gone seriously wrong. A job for Russell Brand perhaps?

All words and waffle, no real substance required. First job would be to sack the vacancy writer and 'actively employ them to best optimisation in other areas of the business'....

Brand in upper and lower case? Dreadful.

[T R]

3 hours ago, 54-46 said:

Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school.

Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering.

Seems like one for David Brent to me. 

 

basically they're advertising a new tea lady's job, with a new brand of biscuits

[David Brent]

3 hours ago, 54-46 said:

Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school.

Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering.

Seems like one for David Brent to me.

What sort of bunse would I be looking at?

[The Bard]

1 hour ago, BanburyRed said:

What complete and utter bollocks! Sorry it just is. If you have to keep using the term 'brand' in almost every sentence then something has gone seriously wrong. A job for Russell Brand perhaps?

All words and waffle, no real substance required. First job would be to sack the vacancy writer and 'actively employ them to best optimisation in other areas of the business'....

Brand in upper and lower case? Dreadful.

Ah,  but there is a big difference between the brand and the Brand...

 

[RedRock]

1 hour ago, Big Red Rich said:

And sometimes it's Brand and others it's brand? 

Perhaps the typist had fat fingers. Not only did he (note the non-sexist reference) miss capitals/full stops  but constantly added  ‘r’ to the word band. 

So, what this really is all about is creating a new Americana style BS band. Sort of thing you’d associate with the Flyers and Bears. A few of the requirements kinda make sense then.

Can’t see any reference in the job spec to the need for them to have long legs and big tits though which is more than disappointing. 

Nurse, I’ve relapsed again!!!!

[The Bard]

3 hours ago, 54-46 said:

Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school.

Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering.

Seems like one for David Brent to me. 

 

We should organise a mass spoiler against this.  Everyone make multiple applications for this job.  An avalanche of nonsensical applications matching the nonsensical job advert.

[A Horse With No Name]

We have a senior manager in work who talks exactly like this, making up his own words to further baffle .  He may have had some input into this ad, because I’m sure “overarching” isn’t a real word

[Bianconeri]

I worked for a brilliant man who fixed ailing companies. He’s also now very rich.

The author of such BS would have left the organisation already. Mind you we never felt the need for brand managers or other non jobs of the ilk.

 

[Bristol Rob]

If you submitted a CV with as many mistakes as the job spec shows, you wouldn't make the interview stage.

[BRISTOL86]

I still find it amazing that we have a ‘branding department’ (and still need to add to it) whilst we have a scouting set up that brought us Diony. 

[NickJ]

9 hours ago, Ivorguy said:

Does anyone for a moment thinks JL understands a word of it

On the contrary, I think he wrote it. 

 

But yes what an absolute load of bollocks.

I'd love to see the "Brand P&L" (bullet point 8). What the **** does that look like?

[Phileas Fogg]

A family friend interviewed for BS not long ago. Worst HR experience they’ve had; BS attempted to rearrange the interview 10 mins before it was scheduled, didn’t reply to follow up emails and generally behaved very unprofessionally. 

[RedRock]

14 minutes ago, NickJ said:

On the contrary, I think he wrote it. 

 

But yes what an absolute load of bollocks.

I'd love to see the "Brand P&L" (bullet point 8). What the **** does that look like?

Strongly suspect that’s a cut and paste job. 

The bullshit becomes ‘purer’ every time someone refines the spec. for use for the next job. 

Probably started with Mark Ashton devising a spec. for the cleaners then it was the template used for the next new job that cropped up. ..and repeat.... with each manager adding a few extra bullshit words to make them feel clever.

Eventually - and we’re not far from that point - someone in the Club will have an ‘Emperors Clothes’ moment and look at an advert and say ‘I haven’t a fooking clue what that means’. At that point the template is ripped up and the whole process restarts. 

[Bianconeri]

11 hours ago, 54-46 said:

Now, I appreciate I am the wrong side of 40 and been in the same line of work since leaving school.

Haven’t had to apply for a job for a good few years, but this ad for a job as a Brand Manager would leave me floundering.

Seems like one for David Brent to me. 

 

Bristol Sport, never knowingly understood

[RT's Vaseline Tub]

11 hours ago, Juan Kerr said:

What utter bollocks.

Yep - It sounds like something Mark Ashton would come out out with.

Plus a typo shows how amateur it is too: No proof reading?

[RedM]

1 hour ago, NickJ said:

On the contrary, I think he wrote it. 

 

But yes what an absolute load of bollocks.

I'd love to see the "Brand P&L" (bullet point 8). What the **** does that look like?

I took it to be Purple & Lime. Branding stuff in those colours, dunno? 

Certainly drumming out the brand, or is it Brand, message. A certain North Korean dictator would be proud of this approach. 

 

[Southstandoriginal]

10 hours ago, downendcity said:

Translation supplied by Stanley Unwin.

“Are you all sitty comftybold two-square on your botty? Then I'll begin.
Now, like all real life experience stories, this also begins once a polly tito, and Happiness Stan, whose life evolved the ephemeral colour dreamy most, and his deep joy in this being the multicolour of the moon. Oh yes. His home a victoriana charibold, the four-wheel folloped ft-ft-ft out the back. Now, as eve on his deep approach, his eye on the moon. Alltime sometime deept joy of a full moon scintyladen dangly in the heavenly bode. But now only half! So, gathering all behind him the hintermost, he ploddy-ploddy forward into the deep complicadent fundermold of the forry to sort this one out.” 

That shines like a beacon of clarity and common sense compared to the Bristol Sport B.S. above!

10 hours ago, downendcity said:

 

[Bristol Rob]

[Floatn Over]

A perfect retirement job for S O'D

Bullet points as in the job ad could be really expanded into something we can all relate to seamlessly in the fullness of time, all things being equal 

[Mr Popodopolous]

I'm a critic of Bristol Sport, but like it or not (I don't much like it) the game is generally heading this way.

We have aspirations to be bigger than we are, so we are going down this road. Become a lot less a sport, a lot more a business last 30 years tbh...however Brand P&L is complete- well does that even exist??

However, they are applying pure business and marketing principles to football- which works up to a point, but in terms of market share etc for the level we are at? Nah. Pointless (Now if we're talking clubs with a big national, European or even global reach then things start to change but not Bristol City in the Championship)...

@RedM Assume it stands for Brand Profit & Loss- however as a concept, that makes little sense to me.

[nebristolred]

1 hour ago, Phileas Fogg said:

A family friend interviewed for BS not long ago. Worst HR experience they’ve had; BS attempted to rearrange the interview 10 mins before it was scheduled, didn’t reply to follow up emails and generally behaved very unprofessionally. 

I'm a supporter of Steve Lansdown, but I know of someone who's had a very similar experience with HL as well. Complete and utter incompetence in the run-up to and during the interview.