pongo88 Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 First, tell them you’re a billionaire banker. Then put a £50 tent and a couple of plastic chairs in your garden then start playing football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man in the middle Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Poor you, can you smell the Gas? i’d just shit on their door step if they move in, I mean every day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobBobSuperBob Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 How about nailing a little sign to the front door MIND THE GAP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin phantom Posted August 7, 2018 Author Admin Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 The good news is another family have been since, just the moment I was going to the shop, went out of my way to make them feel welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bristol Rob Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Buy a pony. They are bound to be on the Horse Offences Register. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man in the middle Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 10 minutes ago, pongo88 said: First, tell them you’re a billionaire banker. Then put a £50 tent and a couple of plastic chairs in your garden then start playing football. Even better, tell them your going to buy plastic chairs and a tent, then tell them the delivery is late with no intention of buying them in the first place:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rednotblue Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Get neighbourhood watch up and running are the neighbours aware? Buy the house instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ska Junkie Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 I would cut the grass, bollock naked with a flower sticking out of my arse while drink up thee cyder blares out of the window. If they come around for another viewing, ask if they want to build an extension and then laugh your gonads off! Borrrow a friends extremely loud motorbike and park it on the driveway (I kid you not, my neighbour has 2 harleys and they were asked not to have them on their driveway during viewings when the house the other side of them was up for sale). Finally, if a methane snorter moves in next door, move! Sorted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curr Avon Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 1 hour ago, phantom said: Just got home from work and I see an estate agent showing a young family around the property next door that is for sale. Young lad and mum walking down the drive, then the next thing a chap in a Rovers shirts walks out of the front door... I've gone into full panic mode now! What should I do? Blast out wurzels songs? Put a city flag in the window? Leave him to move in as it will be years of piss taking ahead? Teaching the cat ninja moves as we speak just in case they have pets Take round a bunch of lilys and say, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Bill Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Novochok on the door handle should do the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curr Avon Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 1 minute ago, Red Bill said: Novochok on the door handle should do the trick. Classy. Not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South Somerset Red Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Strange. Wonder how much their tent's up for sale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BS4 on Tour... Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Won’t be long before they try to ‘steal’ your home..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Watts Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 3 hours ago, cheshire_red said: stereo on full blast, hoover the lawn, anything to show you're a nutter, make a crude pass at the wife Woah, woah, woah.... play the music etc, but leave his sister out of this!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverRed Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 As long as there's a division between your place and theirs, they won't be bothering you much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolman Block B Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 4 hours ago, phantom said: Just got home from work and I see an estate agent showing a young family around the property next door that is for sale. Young lad and mum walking down the drive, then the next thing a chap in a Rovers shirts walks out of the front door... I've gone into full panic mode now! What should I do? Blast out wurzels songs? Put a city flag in the window? Leave him to move in as it will be years of piss taking ahead? Teaching the cat ninja moves as we speak just in case they have pets I run a business in Bristol and 2 summers ago interviewed a few school leavers with a view to an apprenticeship. After breaking the news to the successful lad he turnt up for work on his first day with a Rovers shirt on!! I nearly dropped dead, the rest of the lads said my face was a picture. Needless to say he has never worn it since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lrrr Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 4 hours ago, phantom said: Just got home from work and I see an estate agent showing a young family around the property next door that is for sale. Young lad and mum walking down the drive, then the next thing a chap in a Rovers shirts walks out of the front door... I've gone into full panic mode now! What should I do? Blast out wurzels songs? Put a city flag in the window? Leave him to move in as it will be years of piss taking ahead? Teaching the cat ninja moves as we speak just in case they have pets All of the above, perhaps a sticker or two on their house as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 I had to gently remind my friend the other day, when she posted a picture of her son in a g*s shirt (her other half is a sag) that she should remove it at once or he was going to get a rash! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 10 hours ago, Dollymarie said: I had to gently remind my friend the other day, when she posted a picture of her son in a g*s shirt (her other half is a sag) that she should remove it at once or he was going to get a rash! A rash what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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