David Cotterill and Depression

[reddoh]

3 minutes ago, RUSSEL85 said:

Unfortunately my brother in law took his own life 8 weeks ago, no sign of depression or any issues but it's what's going on inside that matters, it has broken us as a family that we couldn't help in anyway as we simply didn't know. The more coverage mental health awareness gets the better and I hope anyone who is suffering isn't scared to speak out, there is so much more help out there these days. 

My thoughts are with you and the family.

[cidered abroad]

4 minutes ago, RUSSEL85 said:

Unfortunately my brother in law took his own life 8 weeks ago, no sign of depression or any issues but it's what's going on inside that matters, it has broken us as a family that we couldn't help in anyway as we simply didn't know. The more coverage mental health awareness gets the better and I hope anyone who is suffering isn't scared to speak out, there is so much more help out there these days. 

Brave of you to say this publicly even if like all on here, you are using a nom de plume.

My experience of losing a wife in a similar way, taught me that one will never reach a closure. It just gets further back in history every passing day. I found people were reticent about mentioning her, so I deliberately spoke about her, to help me and others to cope with it.

As a PS. I married again and have another great partner although she's not much interest in my passions for football and rugby. It's hard for those whose lives are blighted by another's suicide, but one must he positive. Remember, that this life is not a rehearsal. One life, one journey, so enjoy it while you can because you're a long time dead. Best wishes Russell85.

[RUSSEL85]

6 minutes ago, cidered abroad said:

Brave of you to say this publicly even if like all on here, you are using a nom de plume.

My experience of losing a wife in a similar way, taught me that one will never reach a closure. It just gets further back in history every passing day. I found people were reticent about mentioning her, so I deliberately spoke about her, to help me and others to cope with it.

As a PS. I married again and have another great partner although she's not much interest in my passions for football and rugby. It's hard for those whose lives are blighted by another's suicide, but one must he positive. Remember, that this life is not a rehearsal. One life, one journey, so enjoy it while you can because you're a long time dead. Best wishes Russell85.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, thank you for your kind words and I wish you well. 

Daft thing is reading this forum puts a smile on my face most days although I do despair most days too 

[JBFC II]

5 hours ago, Will Rollason said:

maybe so.... maybe... but the Atheist cynic in me also thinks that religious people ,including Chaplins, see this as a perfect time to try and convert someone. vulnerable people are susceptible... i dont like them lurking around  hospitals...i would rather speak to a janitor or the bloke painting the walls... he/she probably has way more insight!!

First time  I went through clinical depression i had experience of this at work with a deeply religious person... most unimpressed...and when my first son was born very premature and we were in the scbu unit for 3 months the Chaplin got told to take his platitudes elsewhere.....grrrrrrr....grrrrrr....

As to the story above.... its still perplexing to some people that wealthy/famous people can suffer from depression at all.... but it really can hit anyone.. there are usually underlying factors or a life event but not always..best of luck to him.

Knowing many chaplains, whilst being a Christian myself, I'd have to disagree with your first paragraph. 

The majority of chaplains aren't in hosptials/university's/schools even football clubs to convert people to become Christians. They are there to be someone who people can talk to and rely on. That may involve prayer but with my experience with visiting chaplains when I've felt low, that's normally something they'll ask if you are comfortable with first. 

I've had thoughts of becoming a chaplain myself when I'm slightly older, and from what I see, the role is one of pastoral support and care, not one of ministry and conversion. 

However, if that is your experience then I am sorry for how it made you feel. I completely understand why you'd feel unhappy at somebody who was brought in to be a comfort make it out that they are utilising your unstableness at a dark moment in order to convert you to the faith, which I would highlight is not the way Christ stated it should be done and certainly not something I feel comfortable with somebody doing. 

[Robbored]

The aetiology of depression varies massively from person to person but one major similarity between them all is a unbalancing of the brains chemistry. 

There are many but the most common two are serotonin and dopamine which if either or both are out of balance can cause depression. Lengthy alcohol use over time inhibits the natural production of both which is why along with the alcoholic chaotic life leads to such high percentage of suicides 

Its also why GPs tend to prescribe drugs that are designed to replace or allow the chemicals to restabilise. It some cases they really can help but rarely did with dependent drinkers.

For these dependent drinkers the best anti depressant of them all is to stop drinking.

 

[Son of Fred]

10 hours ago, RedM said:

It’s you that’s taking this personally, one depression doesn’t fit all as everyone knows. So my experiences doesn’t fit yours, or helping you. Can’t do much about that I’m afraid, it is what it is. 

 You seem to think this is aimed at you, it isn’t. You obviously have issues you still need to deal with, I’m bowing out of this now as I’m not responsible for you. I am sorry if I have upset you or touched a nerve. Let’s  be clear, I’m distancing myself from this for your sake, not because you have silenced me or that I don’t believe what I’m saying is right. You are having difficulties discussing this more than me so I think we should leave it at that. If you don’t like my posts please but me on ignore. 

Best wishes to you in the future.

Well done......good effort!!

[forbespm]

10 hours ago, KevP said:

Don't be embarrassed to admit you have issues. Gone are the days of "oh get a grip"....It's being recognised as a serious issue along with the physical ones. And help is out there and becoming more readily available. Not perfect yet but much better than a few years back. The NHS "Lets Talk" type set ups are brilliant, so get a GP referall if you feel bad. I can talk from experience, and as mentioned above, admitting it to yourself, not feeling embarrassed, and talking about it are all crucial factors. I was actually surprised how people responded when I spoke of my worries a few years ago, all were understanding and positive. I've sorted my demons and learnt a lot so much so that I share advice and help with lots of people who tell me of their problems and concerns. There, I've said it now !! 

Glad your ok now mate. Always good to help others when you,'ve been there.hope to catch you again at the gate some time

[CyderInACan]

8 hours ago, JBFC II said:

Knowing many chaplains, whilst being a Christian myself, I'd have to disagree with your first paragraph. 

The majority of chaplains aren't in hosptials/university's/schools even football clubs to convert people to become Christians. They are there to be someone who people can talk to and rely on. That may involve prayer but with my experience with visiting chaplains when I've felt low, that's normally something they'll ask if you are comfortable with first. 

Sadly I have experience of hospital chaplains too. I have, however, found them more focussed on caring than converting. To be on the receiving end of such selfless compassion when you’re at the lowest you can possibly be is, looking back, a humbling experience. They never talked about a god or a faith. They were just there with the odd few words, a cup of tea and a boatload of understanding. It takes a special kind of person to do that and even now when I see one of them from time to time i give her a big hug, a big thankyou for just being there.

[reddoh]

10 hours ago, RUSSEL85 said:

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, thank you for your kind words and I wish you well. 

Daft thing is reading this forum puts a smile on my face most days although I do despair most days too 

When your despair the most (look for a positive) you could have been a gashead.

[Super]

Great thread well done to everyone.

[ExiledAjax]

For what it is worth, and through the lens of personal experience I would just add that any treatment, counselling, chaplaincy work, or drugs program is aimed at a single purpose.  That purpose is to help you realise that within you is the ability and the strength to control your own mental state.

I completely believe that everyone has that inside of them, they only need to find it.  Some are fortunate and are able to find it themselves, others need some help to locate it. 

For me I found it myself after a few tough years in my late teens.  Now I know what to look out for, I can recognise the signs that tell me I am slipping back into the darkness.  I also have the tools to arrest that slide and halt it.  Those tools are exercise, writing, and food.  Food is my short term fix and the other two treat the long term.

I hope that everyone who has shared their experiences on this thread gets the help they need to master their issues.  Look for the strength within you, find it through whatever conduit works for you.

 

[MarcusX]

On 24/09/2018 at 13:23, RedM said:

@CyderInACan @MarcusXI didn’t say it was all about the money. You still get depression and cancers etc whether you have money or not, thought that was obvious that people know that. All I said in my experience some of the most vulnerable people got into a spiral of depression which stemmed from having money, housing, relationship problems. Money of course helps, can take away a lot of other worries ( private treatment, no NHS waiting lists, transport, accommodation etc) but of course cause others ( can afford to drink, not work etc) but you misread me when you think I am saying it is cause or cure. 

I appreciate you didnt say that, but it was a rather flippant comment "its easy to say its deeper than money when you are driving a bentley". 

[MarcusX]

On 24/09/2018 at 19:45, CyderInACan said:

So sorry to hear that. I’ve heard someone else on here who’s suffered also saying that “losing yourself” in the moment when we score is a great escape. 

I wonder if part of that moment links to players' depression in some cases. I know I've read interviews etc from players after they've stopped saying there's nothing that gives them the same "buzz" as scoring a goal in front of a huge crowd.

It's a hell of a feeling in front of 100 people, can't imagine what it's like in front of 1000s.

[MarcusX]

On 25/09/2018 at 09:37, ExiledAjax said:

For what it is worth, and through the lens of personal experience I would just add that any treatment, counselling, chaplaincy work, or drugs program is aimed at a single purpose.  That purpose is to help you realise that within you is the ability and the strength to control your own mental state.

I completely believe that everyone has that inside of them, they only need to find it.  Some are fortunate and are able to find it themselves, others need some help to locate it. 

For me I found it myself after a few tough years in my late teens.  Now I know what to look out for, I can recognise the signs that tell me I am slipping back into the darkness.  I also have the tools to arrest that slide and halt it.  Those tools are exercise, writing, and food.  Food is my short term fix and the other two treat the long term.

I hope that everyone who has shared their experiences on this thread gets the help they need to master their issues.  Look for the strength within you, find it through whatever conduit works for you.

 

I agree with this, I've had spells of what I can only describe as "darkness" due to past (and some current) experiences. I've managed to identify when I am feeling a particular way, or when I start to (signs for me are almost like laziness, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to see or speak to anyone etc). I now go to bed earlier so that I can get up earlier and work out first thing before work. The gym is another "happy place" for me, as well as home, and it enables me to start my day doing something I look forward to. It also means I dont have time to think about getting up I just have to get up straight away rather than hit the snooze etc.

[JamesBCFC]

On 24/09/2018 at 19:08, cidered abroad said:

My first wife, who died twenty years ago, suffered clinical depression from early childhood. It will sound crazy to many on here but she started coming to City games after a visit to see an end of season testimonial match. She found that that noise of the crowd linked with action on the pitch, allowed her to forget her demons for a couple of hours.

The only person I have ever known who was happy at a City match. Most of us get depressed watching them!

I'm the same.

Looked forward to every game even under SOD because it allowed me to escape my troubles for a while.

[JamesBCFC]

 

On 24/09/2018 at 21:16, RUSSEL85 said:

Unfortunately my brother in law took his own life 8 weeks ago, no sign of depression or any issues but it's what's going on inside that matters, it has broken us as a family that we couldn't help in anyway as we simply didn't know. The more coverage mental health awareness gets the better and I hope anyone who is suffering isn't scared to speak out, there is so much more help out there these days. 

Sorry to hear that, and thoughts with you and your family.

[Tears in rain]

Sat on a train off to a gig and needed some reading to do. Very interesting  thread to see the variation and opinions around such a condition. 

Glad to read the support for this and one big step for athletes admitting this will be when all stigma is removed. 

Really hope DC is working with a sports psychologist or a counselling psychologist etc. 

If the last 4 years of studying Sport psychology have taught me anything... we are all human and these problems can affect us all. 

[BCFC11]

On 24/09/2018 at 11:03, Gazred said:

Mental health issues know no bounds. Can effect any of us at anytime in your life. Great that he as kept himself going and still been a very solid pro throughout his career. The main thing is getting it out there, never keep it bottled up inside, talk.

THIS.

Been going through very similar of late, bottled things up for a while and was the worst thing that I could of done, and in the end everything just blew up and ended up much worse off, just talk to ANYONE. It makes a massive difference.

[Ronnie Sinclair]

I rarely post anything on here, just lurk usually - however this has hit a nerve that is close to home.  Great is probably not the correct term to use, but it is great that another  relatively high profile sportsman has come out and admitted suffering from depression.  If this makes just one other person seek help then it is a good thing.

I myself have been suffering this for the last five or six years, but did not realise it fully until earlier this year (I put it down to turning into a miserable old sod at first, but it started to manifest as health anxiety as well as depression), but a Sport Relief programme featuring the story of Zöe Ball's partner's situation brought the realisation I should get assistance.  Best thing I ever did was visit the doctors to get advice.  If anyone else is suffering I would implore they do the same, you are not alone.

[CyderInACan]

On 27/09/2018 at 07:07, RalphMilnesLeftFoot said:

Sometimes just being there and chatting about normal stuff can help more than you'll ever know.

This is so true. 

[bpexile]

On 24/09/2018 at 19:33, Gazred said:

Mental health issues know no bounds. Can effect any of us at anytime in your life. Great that he as kept himself going and still been a very solid pro throughout his career. The main thing is getting it out there, never keep it bottled up inside, talk.

I posted something very similar in the BEP, having had my own issues it has to talked about with friends & loved ones. I wish Cotts & anyone else in that position the very best & keep talking about it.

[fgrsimon]

Money has nothing to do with it. In fact it can exacerbate mental health problems simply because the more you have, the more you have to lose. As far as footballers are concerned, I cant imagine how much worse things could get if you have 50000 people on your back. I wouldnt be surprised if professional footballers have a very high rate of incidence of depression, certainly the cases we are hearing about are only the tip of the iceberg.

[bpexile]

17 hours ago, Keyardiv said:

Hopefully they have the right motives. But there are also an increasing number on non-religious ‘chaplains’ placed in hospitals as result of work and campaigning by Humanist groups. 

Gary Speed would have been 49 a couple of weeks ago. Money and success doesn’t prevent depression. It seems he suffered from the condition since he was a teenager.

Obviously less succesfull & more succesfull than footballers are affected. Robin Williams is a prime example of some-one who had everything & yet couldn't beat the black dog.

[Will Rollason]

18 hours ago, Keyardiv said:

Hopefully they have the right motives. But there are also an increasing number on non-religious ‘chaplains’ placed in hospitals as result of work and campaigning by Humanist groups. 

 

Good. Didnt know that and i'm a member of the secular society! 

[Will Rollason]

1 hour ago, bpexile said:

 the black dog.

Yep, that dog doesn't care who you are! Going back to Cotterill he put it very well i thought;

"You kind of then have a couple of days when you feel OK again, but it keeps repeating itself.'

 The rest of the interview will ring true for a lot of us. Well done that man for putting it out there.

[SecretSam]

Reading this thread has brought a tear to my eye but also a feeling of real pride. The support and understanding, the intelligence of the debate, all wonderful to see.

As a sufferer if the silent enemy that is depression, it's reassuring to feel I am accepted and understood.

Love to all. COYR!!!

[BS4 on Tour...]

David Cotterill has just tweeted this retirement message...best of luck to him...

[cidered abroad]

He is facing his demons and deserves our thanks for his time at City as a youngster and again on loan a couple of years ago.

Whilst he has suffered with depression, nobody should ever forget how hard it is to make it as a pro footballer, playing at club and international level. With that in mind, I suspect it will not be the last time we hear of Dave Cotterill. Bon voyage!

[BCFC11]

So sad he’s had to retire presumably down to his mental health, could still do a job at Championship level without a doubt but he has to look after number 1. Best of luck DC.

[CyderInACan]

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/sport/football/david-cotterill-reveals-how-time-2123521

 

An ex-Bristol City player says manager Lee Johnson dropped him from the squad in the stadium car park on a matchday and cut his loan deal short despite saying it was 'a success'.

David Cotterill returned to City for a second spell on deadline day in January 2017.

 

The 30-year-old winger hung up his boots on Wednesday, October 17, following a career-long battle with depression and has spoken candidly about the reasons behind his decision.

The former Wales international and Bristol City youth product started his career with the Robins in 2004 and played for a number of British clubs before returning to Ashton Gate in 2017 on loan from Birmingham where he had been frozen out.

 

Cotterill (C) during his loan spell (Image: Rogan Thomson/JMP)

Cotterill claims he was reluctant to accept the deal, but he received a call from Lee Johnson himself and was told a permanent deal could be on the table in the summer.

“I actually rejected the approach on deadline day three or four times, but then the gaffer, who I had played with under his dad at Ashton Gate, got on the phone to me," said Cotterill.

READ MORE

• Why ex-Everton youngster needs to bide his time at Bristol City and the transfers required in January

“He said that if the loan was a success there could be a deal in the summer, but as a senior player I didn’t really buy that. I think he just wanted to get me signed up."

 

“I personally thought it was quite a successful loan,” Cotterill reasoned. “I was asked to come in and try to keep the team in the division. They wanted extra quality from set-pieces because they had a big team.

 

Bristol City's David Cotterill takes on Newcastle United's Matt Ritchie and Ayoze Perez during the Sky Bet Championship match at St James' Park. (Image: Anna Gowthorpe/PA Wire)

“I came in and got a few assists and managed to score a few goals as well."

Cotterill claims things went downhill when he was dropped from the squad in the car park at Ashton Gate on a matchday.

“The manager then decided to change stuff. I arrived at the stadium for one of the games and he (Johnson) pulled me in the car park and told me I wouldn’t be in the squad.

READ MORE

• The hilarious exchange as ex-Bristol City boss Gary Johnson is mistaken for a skip company owner by BBC radio host

"I thought ‘you could have told me that yesterday and I could have spent the weekend with my family’."

The following Monday, Cotterill's second spell at the club would come to an abrupt end.

 

David Cotterill celebrates qualifying for Euro 2016 with Wales

“I went in on the Monday and he told me that I didn’t have to come in for the final ten days to two weeks of the loan. He said the loan had been a success because the team had achieved its goal of staying up and that I’d contributed to that."

 

Cotterill doesn't begrudge the decision however, and believes the decision not to make his deal permanent was a result of the Robins' structure.

READ MORE

• Exclusive: David Cotterill blasts the PFA, opens up on Bristol City spells and explains why he's retiring at 30

“I enjoyed my time there," he added."But I felt the club had a structure to play a certain number of players of a young age, with senior players around them that could be sold on for profit if they didn’t go up. Look at the ones who have moved on since they’re mostly senior players for big money.”

You can read David Cotterill's exclusive interview with Bristol Live 's Adam Baker here .