Major Isewater Posted October 4, 2018 Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 I once met a charming girl at the swimming pool . Looked great in a bikini ( her not me ) , easy going , funny and intelligent. We hit it off really well so much so that she invited me to meet her parents ( she was living with them ) . Again , lovely people, open and kind . It all went wrong when the girl took me to her room . CLIFF RICHARD. His posters every where , memorabilia , all his records. Like a News of the World reporter , I made my excuses and left. I never saw her again . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slippin cider Posted October 4, 2018 Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 Don’t be dissin Cliffy ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Orns Posted October 4, 2018 Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 The former Mrs Woodsy didn't want to be married to me anymore ******* weird, if you ask me. I'm brilliant PS - **** Cliff ******* Richard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted October 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 26 minutes ago, Woodsy said: The former Mrs Woodsy didn't want to be married to me anymore ******* weird, if you ask me. I'm brilliant PS - **** Cliff ******* Richard Solidarity brother ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Maesknoll Red Posted October 4, 2018 Admin Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 I wouldn’t exactly call her a partner, but many moons back, I awoke one morning with a thick head, in a strange bedroom (OK, this wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence) after one of the mid-week social evenings at the Towns Talk..... A small child entered the room and said to the girl led next to me “Is that my new Daddy?” I don’t think I have ever, with a hangover, got dressed and exited a house so fast and then found myself in an unfamiliar location, but I just started walking, and walking fast, without once looking back over my shoulder, oblivious if it was towards home or not!! And Cliff Richard is a weirdo.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erithacus Posted October 4, 2018 Report Share Posted October 4, 2018 The Town's Talk! Now there's a place where it's a good thing the walls don't talk. They are still finding hangover victims like Japanese soldiers still 'at war' in remote jungles around the Pacific. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 13 hours ago, Maesknoll Red said: I wouldn’t exactly call her a partner, but many moons back, I awoke one morning with a thick head, in a strange bedroom (OK, this wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence) after one of the mid-week social evenings at the Towns Talk..... A small child entered the room and said to the girl led next to me “Is that my new Daddy?” I don’t think I have ever, with a hangover, got dressed and exited a house so fast and then found myself in an unfamiliar location, but I just started walking, and walking fast, without once looking back over my shoulder, oblivious if it was towards home or not!! And Cliff Richard is a weirdo.... Do you work for the BBC? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 When I was 15, I had a boyfriend who was black. He broke up with me after several months because he didn’t want to tell his family he was going out with a white girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 20 hours ago, Major Isewater said: It all went wrong when the girl took me to her room . CLIFF RICHARD. His posters every where , memorabilia , all his records. Like a News of the World reporter , I made my excuses and left. I never saw her again . And who would blame you for that Major? …. especially as you had your own inflatable 'Living Doll' ready and waiting for you for when you got home... One of the few loves of your life that you never let down I believe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 ….apparently she found my bow legs and knock knees were a turn off for her, when she left I must admit I was spitting feathers for a while. Looking back though I haven't been so happy since I don't know when. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 7 hours ago, Dollymarie said: When I was 15, I had a boyfriend who was black. He broke up with me after several months because he didn’t want to tell his family he was going out with a white girl I’m glad how that story ended. I read the first line and wondered where you were going with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Maesknoll Red Posted October 5, 2018 Admin Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 21 hours ago, Erithacus said: The Town's Talk! Now there's a place where it's a good thing the walls don't talk. They are still finding hangover victims like Japanese soldiers still 'at war' in remote jungles around the Pacific. Tales from there would fill a few books and make some interesting films...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted October 7, 2018 Report Share Posted October 7, 2018 On 04/10/2018 at 13:18, Major Isewater said: I once met a charming girl at the swimming pool . Looked great in a bikini ( her not me ) , easy going , funny and intelligent. We hit it off really well so much so that she invited me to meet her parents ( she was living with them ) . Again , lovely people, open and kind . It all went wrong when the girl took me to her room . CLIFF RICHARD. His posters every where , memorabilia , all his records. Like a News of the World reporter , I made my excuses and left. I never saw her again . If you can't have full, wholesome sex with Cliff Richard watching you, then you are just weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up The City! Posted October 8, 2018 Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 18 hours ago, ... said: If you can't have full, wholesome sex with Cliff Richard watching you, then you are just weird. I once had full, wholesome sex with a Zlatan Ibrahimovic poster watching me, that was weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted October 8, 2018 Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 4 hours ago, Up The City! said: I once had full, wholesome sex with a Zlatan Ibrahimovic poster, that was weird. ...certainly was, what were you thinking ? It's not unusual for people to put posters up, but blimey. (*nb: quoted post slightly amended.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midred Posted October 8, 2018 Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 On 04/10/2018 at 13:18, Major Isewater said: I once met a charming girl at the swimming pool . Looked great in a bikini ( her not me ) , easy going , funny and intelligent. We hit it off really well so much so that she invited me to meet her parents ( she was living with them ) . Again , lovely people, open and kind . It all went wrong when the girl took me to her room . CLIFF RICHARD. His posters every where , memorabilia , all his records. Like a News of the World reporter , I made my excuses and left. I never saw her again . Was it your quiff and quivering upper lip that first attracted her, Major? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 On 08/10/2018 at 06:28, Up The City! said: I once had full, wholesome sex with a Zlatan Ibrahimovic poster watching me, that was weird. Did he have that disapproving look on his face that he often has in photos? I can see that would be rather unsettling to say the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 11 hours ago, Midred said: Was it your quiff and quivering upper lip that first attracted her, Major? I think she thought he was one of The Young Ones but was sadly mistaken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 On 04/10/2018 at 13:18, Major Isewater said: I once met a charming girl at the swimming pool . Looked great in a bikini ( her not me ) , easy going , funny and intelligent. We hit it off really well so much so that she invited me to meet her parents ( she was living with them ) . Again , lovely people, open and kind . It all went wrong when the girl took me to her room . CLIFF RICHARD. His posters every where , memorabilia , all his records. Like a News of the World reporter , I made my excuses and left. I never saw her again . What an awful experience @Major Isewater … You must have been gutted, having walked away without so much as a Hank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 On 05/10/2018 at 10:16, WhistleHappy said: And who would blame you for that Major? …. especially as you had your own inflatable 'Living Doll' ready and waiting for you for when you got home... *One of the few loves of your life that you never let down I believe? PS.. * I'm sure you would've let that one down gently when it was time to split. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taz Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 On 05/10/2018 at 10:16, WhistleHappy said: And who would blame you for that Major? …. especially as you had your own inflatable 'Living Doll' ready and waiting for you for when you got home... One of the few loves of your life that you never let down I believe? But went down on him a few times though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted October 13, 2018 Report Share Posted October 13, 2018 On 09/10/2018 at 21:44, Taz said: But went down on him a few times though A friend tells me he didn`t realise they made ones that did that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted October 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 On 09/10/2018 at 00:00, Midred said: Was it your quiff and quivering upper lip that first attracted her, Major? Good hypothesis but I was only wearing my Speedos at the swimming pool ( and one of those sexy swimming caps )and she probably thought I had a canoe in them . Woof . Photo of said swimming cap ( red and white ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YorkshireSection Posted October 14, 2018 Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 I finished with a very attractive girl once simply because I didn't like her overly curly pubic hair, kept choking me FFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Coach Posted October 14, 2018 Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 Finished with one girl because after an evening spent together in the bedroom she asked me “when can we get married?”. She was being extremely serious too. My plan was to get up and get out of there in a shot. Until I remembered it was my place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted October 20, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2018 On 14/10/2018 at 15:04, YorkshireSection said: I finished with a very attractive girl once simply because I didn't like her overly curly pubic hair, kept choking me FFS Had similar needed a machete to get through the undergrowth . Also the ' You would be a great Dad to my son ' sketch with the same woman ! Usain Bolt got nothing on me that night ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hunt-Hertz Posted October 20, 2018 Report Share Posted October 20, 2018 On 14/10/2018 at 14:04, YorkshireSection said: I finished with a very attractive girl once simply because I didn't like her overly curly pubic hair, kept choking me FFS I went out with a Greek girl, who had heavily hirsute hutch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soultrader Posted October 25, 2018 Report Share Posted October 25, 2018 I met her in a club down in North Soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola Lets just say .... I was in for a surprise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red DNA Posted October 27, 2018 Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 I once went out with a girl who had hair under one armpit - I think she was half French? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted October 28, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2018 On 27/10/2018 at 09:41, Red DNA said: I once went out with a girl who had hair under one armpit - I think she was half French? Which half ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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