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WTF works to get this hairy piss-takers out of your garden?

I don't like:-

- cat s**t in my borders / lawn;

- cat p**s on the fence / deck;

- them scoffing the local birds, including ROBIN'S;

- general way they look down their noses at you / disrespect you.

Prefer something electronic, but what actually works??

"HELP".

 

 

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2 hours ago, ... said:

WTF works to get this hairy piss-takers out of your garden?

I don't like:-

- cat s**t in my borders / lawn;

- cat p**s on the fence / deck;

- them scoffing the local birds, including ROBIN'S;

- general way they look down their noses at you / disrespect you.

Prefer something electronic, but what actually works??

"HELP".

 

 

Very clever those felines .....very difficult to discourage from gardens etc ...but they don’t like citrus smells or lavender for some reason so that could help ...I happen to like cats but can understand that they can be a pain in the arse 

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17 minutes ago, Dollymarie said:

Get your own cat. I’m serious. They won’t crap in your garden and nor will anyone else’s cats. 

If it’s not being buried, chances are it could actually be a fox, as cats are usually pretty good at burying their poo. 

But the said cat would then go and mess in someone else’s garden as like you said they don’t go in their own. We have both foxes here and cats and regularly find deposits, not buried as they go on the grass, decking or paths. Bloody nuisance.

I find a water pistol is effective, doesn’t hurt the cat and after a few shots you don’t even have to do anything because as soon as I appear at the patio doors the cat turns on it’s heels. Probably comes back at night though just to spite me:laugh:

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7 minutes ago, RedM said:

But the said cat would then go and mess in someone else’s garden as like you said they don’t go in their own. We have both foxes here and cats and regularly find deposits, not buried as they go on the grass, decking or paths. Bloody nuisance.

I find a water pistol is effective, doesn’t hurt the cat and after a few shots you don’t even have to do anything because as soon as I appear at the patio doors the cat turns on it’s heels. Probably comes back at night though just to spite me:laugh:

My cats must just be very well behaved then, I’ve often seen both of them making a hole to crap in (there’s a communal grass/hedge area at the front of my house that they don’t consider theirs) and then covering it up when they’re done :) 

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I was told of a number of things cats supposedly hate before I got cats of my own. Turns out that they love 99% of those things. 

There's one thing that sends my cats running and that's the sound of kitchen foil. Not sure how anyone would go about using it as a deterrent but my cats are fat and lazy but still manage to disappear in a flash when I get foil out.

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3 hours ago, Dollymarie said:

Get your own cat. I’m serious. They won’t crap in your garden and nor will anyone else’s cats. 

If it’s not being buried, chances are it could actually be a fox, as cats are usually pretty good at burying their poo. 

Post of the day.

Solve the cat problem by buying another one, and placing it in the garden.

Doesn't that make it even worse??

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14 hours ago, Calculus said:

Lion poo, which you can buy on the internet. 

Bramble or hawthorn trimmings placed under the hedges where cats wait for birds.

Buried deep heat soaked tea bags - similar effect.

Sneak up behing the cat with a cucumber (never fails):

 

Cucumbers have a great many (ahem) uses .................. not sure this is one of them.

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On 04/02/2019 at 16:44, ... said:

WTF works to get this hairy piss-takers out of your garden?

Nothing works - not even getting your own cat.

Cats are independent and basically do what they want, when they want, where they want !...as you've discovered.

I have a cat - who only shits in my garden by the way - but my front lawn is covered in shit left there by neighbouring cats. 

 

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I'm impressed: sixteen threads in and not a mention of shotguns, landmines, anti-freeze or gin-traps. Bleach is another one according to the Post: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/local-news/pet-owners-warned-after-series-2503980 . Seems the real answer is to grow lots of cucumber plants.

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Dig a moat around your garden. 

They seem to have a serious dislike water. Had a cat hiding underneath some shrubbery in my garden just by the pond waiting for a bird to come down for a bath. Having targeted it, launched my golden retriever - cruise missile like - from the conservatory. The cat had no option but to escape via the pond. It was brilliant, one of those pampered Persian Cat affairs. Went fully under, came out looking like a skeleton and was chased about 150 metres down the garden by the dog before escaping over the fence. Never saw it, or it’s twin mate, again. 

Aside from that all you can do is encourage cat owners either to keep them in doors, particularly Feb to Sept when the birds/mammals are breeding, or get them to keep their serial shitters/killers on leads. 

 

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Get some lion/tiger dung from the zoo (if they still flog it?) 

Initially it won't help as visiting cats invariably crap themselves on the spot at the sight if it ….  before running away never to return!   

(then of course you end up with huge cat dollops to admire instead of the original little offerings left by Tiddles  from next door.) 

It's a shit life sometimes! 

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16 hours ago, Moor2Sea said:

Dig a moat around your garden. 

They seem to have a serious dislike water. Had a cat hiding underneath some shrubbery in my garden just by the pond waiting for a bird to come down for a bath. Having targeted it, launched my golden retriever - cruise missile like - from the conservatory. The cat had no option but to escape via the pond. It was brilliant, one of those pampered Persian Cat affairs. Went fully under, came out looking like a skeleton and was chased about 150 metres down the garden by the dog before escaping over the fence. Never saw it, or it’s twin mate, again. 

Aside from that all you can do is encourage cat owners either to keep them in doors, particularly Feb to Sept when the birds/mammals are breeding, or get them to keep their serial shitters/killers on leads. 

 

150metre garden!    lucky sod!!!  :)   

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2 hours ago, WhistleHappy said:

Get some lion/tiger dung from the zoo (if they still flog it?) 

Initially it won't help as visiting cats invariably crap themselves on the spot at the sight if it ….  before running away never to return!   

(then of course you end up with huge cat dollops to admire instead of the original little offerings left by Tiddles  from next door.) 

It's a shit life sometimes! 

Good idea, thank you.

If you don't mind, I will wait until we do a wicked trade deal with Botswana, and get it with zero tariff, fresh from a lion's arse!

;)

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On 05/02/2019 at 07:54, RedM said:

But the said cat would then go and mess in someone else’s garden as like you said they don’t go in their own. We have both foxes here and cats and regularly find deposits, not buried as they go on the grass, decking or paths. Bloody nuisance.

I find a water pistol is effective, doesn’t hurt the cat and after a few shots you don’t even have to do anything because as soon as I appear at the patio doors the cat turns on it’s heels. Probably comes back at night though just to spite me:laugh:

IMO that’s a Fox and not cats ....I have foxes that crap on my drive and front garden and decking ...they make no attempt to hide or bury anything.....a cat would not do that .

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On 04/02/2019 at 16:44, ... said:

- cat s**t in my borders / lawn;

- cat p**s on the fence / deck;

- them scoffing the local birds, including ROBIN'S;

- general way they look down their noses at you / disrespect you.

I own, and i use that term very lightly, a cat and have all of these issues.

Get a dog?

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On 04/02/2019 at 16:44, ... said:

WTF works to get this hairy piss-takers out of your garden?

I don't like:-

- cat s**t in my borders / lawn;

- cat p**s on the fence / deck;

- them scoffing the local birds, including ROBIN'S;

- general way they look down their noses at you / disrespect you.

Prefer something electronic, but what actually works??

"HELP".

 

 

Your forum name is King of Dogs and you are asking for advice on how to rid cats from your garden!

Your posts contain the footing 'Andrea Leadsom is looking hotter than ever' yet you appear to abhor cat poo! 

My cats, for the most part, use a litter tray in my house. On occasion they do their biz outside on some part of this planet as does every single creature on earth, except human beings, and even those have only been using toilets for a relatively short period of their existence. 

In my previous house my neighbour used to take video of my cat pooing in his garden and offer to show it to me. He used to ask what I was going to do about it. I would say that I would have a word with him. I would offer to clear it up but he seemed upset that my cat targeted his garden at all. I found this odd. It was like he thought that my cat knew it was his garden and was deliberately defecating there out of spite. Cats have no concept that us humans possess things such as gardens. He has his territory and maybe, if he could adequately communicate with me, he would moan about the idiot next door laying slabs down upon the grass he loved to lime on in his territory.

Birds defecate in gardens. Neighbours complain if one puts food out for the birds that it is encouraging them to poo more in their garden, or they curse at the pigeons for singling their garden, or car, out for treatment. But the pigeons have no concept of the pride a human takes in their car. The pigeon needs to defecate so it does what it has been doing since the time of the dinosaurs and defecates. Maybe in times past it defecated on the head of a T-Rex so it ain't going to be fussed about pooping on the bonnet of a Citroen C1. Maybe if the birds did know that the car was 'owned' by a human they would be knocking on a few doors and lecturing the occupants regarding the damage their pollution is causing to the planet and the amount of birds killed each year by cars. Polar Bears and orangutans etc would follow up by having a word with the humans about  The loss of their habitat and lives, far more threatening and fundamental than finding another creature's excrement in your garden.

I find Fox poo, hedgehog muck, badger droppings, bird excrement and cat turds in my garden, but hey, ho it is life. We share this planet. It is one of those things. It is a trifling matter in the scheme of things. It is because some grumpy humans want to blame someone and with cats they usually have 'owners'. I am convinced that if all the birds in Britain were 'owned' by Fred Workloads of 7 Blackheath Terrace, Huddersfield, Yorkshire, he would receive thousands upon thousands of letters, emails, phone calls and visits each day from irate people in Britain demanding he do something about his birds who are defecating on their cars or in their gardens. Telling him to change their flightpaths etc.

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1 minute ago, CyderInACan said:

Yeah some humans I guess! Cats are shit though. Fact. 

Some cats are very aloof and unfriendly....a bit like most humans ...but my cat is very personable and intelligent beyond belief...even Mrs Cider (having never liked cats) and always being a dog person absolutely loves her and was very surprised by her affection and overall intellect....her words not mine ..

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