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Bristol R*vers dustbin thread


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52 minutes ago, SirColinOfMansfield said:

Feng phooey prank cons the Rovers

A football club was caught offside when it fell for a feng shui scam at the hands of television pranksters.

Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen persuaded Bristol Rovers officials they could enhance the club's results by such devices as installing a fish tank containing plastic fish behind the goal and ordering staff to make sure all toilet seats were down at all times.

Their other requirements included erecting an ornamental ceramic frog above the stadium entrance, placing potted house plants in all four corners of the players' dressing room, and hanging wind chimes around the stadium.

Gullible staff carried out all the recommendations made by the "experts in the ancient Chinese art" in an effort to beat second division rivals Gillingham. But the mumbo jumbo failed to create the right aura - and Rovers lost 1-0.

Yesterday Mr De Beaujeu, 32, said: "They fell for it, hook, line and sinker. They did everything we asked without question."

Mr De Beaujeu and Mr Stockhausen, who are based in Bristol, staged the stunt for a comedy series, The Gatecrashers, which they filmed last year for ITV2.

One of their producers telephoned Bristol Rovers and told the club they were making a documentary about the power of feng shui.

The ancient art is believed to balance one's surroundings and induce general well-being.

Rovers agreed to let the pair into their Memorial Ground stadium in the hope that this might boost the team's performance.

The duo duly arrived with a cameraman two hours before the kick-off of Rovers' tie against Gillingham, armed with bags of supposed feng shui paraphernalia.

Wow, I didn't know that one. Just... wow

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3 hours ago, Cheesleysmate said:

Ok, latest update to list:-

1) "And Now You're Gonna Believe Us" - Pitch storming celebrations at Wycombe singing about the Gas staying up only to be relegated out of the football league the following week

2) Mansfield sending the Sags down playing in Rovers shirts

3) Millions of Ted's in the Mansfield end being blamed for the disgraceful scenes following relegation 

4) "I've been frew two divorces" - Mike the sobbing Sag

5) Clem on BT Sport vs the mighty Forest Green "Bristol Rovers singing their anthem Come On Eileen"

6) Horse Punching

7) Steward Punching

8) Fighting with players in the back of the Braintree net

9) Being done for racial abuse

10) Family Club with more banning orders than any club in the football league

11) Boob Cricket 

12) John Inman pirate badge

13) Santas Grotty

14) Feng Shui ?

15) UWE

16) Reporting City for signing their best player

17) Empty streets open top bus tour for finishing second in the Vanarama 

18) Reporting Wycombe and trying to get them relegated out of the football league instead

19) Fans trying to get into a gay bar for the Fleetwood game

20) Thousands "locked out"

21) 6th richest club in England claims

22) Realisation that Wally isn't as rich as Lansdown 

23) Taylor "the snake" - they don't care but still put a brick through his window 

24) Championship ready sprinklers

25) Dopey Darrell wanks off dogs

26) Headbutting a bus

27) Faithful and true - until they are relegated and then they riot and it's all ******* rubbish!

I've had a really stressy day at work and this has made I laugh out loud. Nice one!

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