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Bristol R*vers dustbin thread


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Just now, Rudolf Hucker said:

He’ll be in for a shock when he sees the Mem. I doubt that FIFA does it justice unless they programmed flapping canvas noises into it. 

Bit of a wasted trip. He'll be locked out surely?

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I hope they've arranged the full gas experience for the lad:

10am Drinks

11am Boob cricket

12pm More drinks

1pm Horse punching

2pm More drinks

2.45pm Go to the Mem, he asks "Is the ground behind this training pitch?" Told that this actually is the ground.

3pm Start singing songs about Da Shit for a couple of hours; pausing at appropriate moments to boo the Rovers' players

5pm Leave ground disappointed; get mugged by pikeys

6pm More drinks

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2 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

I hope they've arranged the full gas experience for the lad:

10am Drinks

11am Boob cricket

12pm More drinks

1pm Horse punching

2pm More drinks

2.45pm Go to the Mem, he asks "Is the ground behind this training pitch?" Told that this actually is the ground.

3pm Start singing songs about Da Shit for a couple of hours; pausing at appropriate moments to boo the Rovers' players

5pm Leave ground disappointed; get mugged by pikeys

6pm More drinks

You forgot, 5.20pm 'nut a mini bus window'.

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58 minutes ago, TETBURY MASSIVE said:

If only they were that generous when it came to raising funds to improve their ground, they may have a better quality of tent!

Poor bloke isn't going to know what's hit him (probably a tent pole).

Edited by Taz
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52 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

I hope they've arranged the full gas experience for the lad:

10am Drinks

10:30 am Meet and Greet The Gas Legend Robbored. 

11am Boob cricket

12pm More drinks

1pm Horse punching

2pm More drinks

2.45pm Go to the Mem, he asks "Is the ground behind this training pitch?" Told that this actually is the ground.

3pm Start singing songs about Da Shit for a couple of hours; pausing at appropriate moments to boo the Rovers' players

5pm Leave ground disappointed; get mugged by pikeys

6pm More drinks

Updated that for you Eddie

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1 hour ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

I think I’m going to let it be known to the fans of Seychelles United that I’ve always been a supporter of theirs and would love to visit their ground. For three weeks. In May. 

I did the same for Manila City. Started well until i was outed and now i am chained to a gas lamp until the money is paid back. Havana was better, i managed to get on a plane just before being nabbed for being a life long fan of Athletico Havana.

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2 hours ago, Eddie Hitler said:

I hope they've arranged the full gas experience for the lad:

8am Breakfast and Beer in the Spoons Kingswood

9am Wander down Two Mile Hill to the Roversport shop to find it’s closed down as a member of staff was fiddling the tills.

9:01 catch a lift outside The Essex in some beat up old banger with already lashed up 50 something bald Tote Enders without a full set of teeth between them.

9:05 listen to stories about the 70’s and how they done everyone whilst drinking Natch and singing the odd song or 50 about “da shit”.

9:18 Drive past IKEA but say nothing.

10:10 Park up and assault the first person that comes into view wearing anything red whilst shouting “Sheed’ead”

11am Boob cricket on Gloucester Road

12pm More drinks

12:30 pop in the bookies and put an accumulator on with Rovers down as a guaranteed win and Da Shit to lose 4-0

1pm Horse punching

2pm More drinks

2:15 seek affection from some Barnsley fans and try to get them to adopt The Gas as their second club whilst begging them to hate Da Shit:

2:30 Attack anyone with a slightly northern accent including Gloucester.

2.45pm Go to the Mem, he asks "Is the ground behind this training pitch?" Told that this actually is the ground.

2:50 Purchase some out of date crisps and visit the club portacabin to buy a framed picture of Eastville.

3pm Start singing songs about Da Shit for a couple of hours; pausing at appropriate moments to boo the Rovers' players and shout “Sheed’ead” every time Cauley Woodrow comes within 20 yards of the ball. Burn a City shirt. Talk about how da shit ****** up going up and pat each other on the back continuously.

5pm Leave ground disappointed; get mugged by pikeys

5:30 attack Barnsley fans for not allowing the family club to win.

5:45 Headbutt a minibus

6pm More drinks

6:15 seek out the same Barnsley fans that were befriended earlier in the day and give them a shoeing.

6:45 get arrested

A week later get a banning order

Updated a bit more...

Edited by Gert Mare
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3 hours ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

I think I’m going to let it be known to the fans of Seychelles United that I’ve always been a supporter of theirs and would love to visit their ground. For three weeks. In May. 

On a podcast I was listening to they managed to ask some questions of Mick Jagger while he was on a beach in Mustique. They asked for 3 things that were better about his home town of Dartford. He came back with......

1. Better pubs

2. better chippies on the way home from the pub

3. The Dartford FC back 4 would definitely get a game for the local Mustique island team. 

Now surely the Dartford FC Management team are missing a trick if they don't try to get him to fund a trip in pre-season to test that theory, I know I would. :) 

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15 minutes ago, SirColinOfMansfield said:

Whoever made the video for their new ladies football team has got one hell of a sense of humour .... apart from the opening shot at Ashton Gate ....

ikea.jpg.3f9927212c308f4cca91e7484c0516e1.jpg

 

 

 

The whole thing is bizarre, like an "anti advert". Most adverts or things of this nature might show a player coming out of the slums to hit the big time, this video shows the complete reverse. They start at a state of the art stadium, go to some of Bristols great attractions, then suddenly move to outside a run down club, an abandoned pub and then finish in the mem. :facepalm:

What are they trying to say about themselves? 

Oh and as aside, who the hell is funding this lot, certainly not Wael of Fortune surely?

Edited by Port Said Red
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12 minutes ago, Port Said Red said:

The whole thing is bizarre, like an "anti advert". Most adverts or things of this nature might show a player coming out of the slums to hit the big time, this video shows the complete reverse. They start at a state of the art stadium, go to some of Bristols great attractions, then suddenly move to outside a run down club, an abandoned pub and then finish in the mem. :facepalm:

What are they trying to say about themselves? 

Oh and as aside, who the hell is funding this lot, certainly not Wael of Fortune surely?

Beyond WEIRD

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40 minutes ago, SirColinOfMansfield said:

Whoever made the video for their new ladies football team has got one hell of a sense of humour .... apart from the opening shot at Ashton Gate ....

ikea.jpg.3f9927212c308f4cca91e7484c0516e1.jpg

 

 

 

WTAF?!

Ashton Gate, the suspension bridge (again!), then the Banksy mural, IKEA... IKEA!!... followed by a tour around Bristol's shooting galleries... I have no words

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2 minutes ago, Porto Red said:

WTAF?!

Ashton Gate, the suspension bridge (again!), then the Banksy mural, IKEA... IKEA!!... followed by a tour around Bristol's shooting galleries... I have no words

Not only is it IKEA but the girl is standing by a sign that says "Pick up area"!

It is a very strange video, I wish I hadn't wasted time watching it.

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44 minutes ago, SirColinOfMansfield said:

Whoever made the video for their new ladies football team has got one hell of a sense of humour .... apart from the opening shot at Ashton Gate ....

ikea.jpg.3f9927212c308f4cca91e7484c0516e1.jpg

 

 

 

Wow. So not only do they have Ashton Gate in their opening sequence, but the farther into the video you get, the rougher the parts of Bristol look, ultimately ending with them stepping out onto the Vegetable Patch Tented Arena Sponsored by Go Outdoors.

They really are the gift that keeps on giving!!!

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That's excellent IMO; if I can say that about a gas vid.

Most of those football videos are so po faced and predictable but that one made me smile several times (AG, and not only IKEA but the Pick Up Area :D ) and I liked the concept of a journey that runs through the video.

Top work.  Let's poach whoever does their videos.

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