Jump to content
IGNORED

Bristol R*vers dustbin thread


42nite

Recommended Posts

A report from The Southend News Network

Hospitals in Southend On Sea in Essex have been moved to ‘Black Alert’ this evening after hundreds of local people died of shock at the news that Southend United had finally won a game.

As soon as it was confirmed that The Shrimpers had overcome the footballing behemoth that is Bristol Rovers by three goals to one, 999 operators were swamped with phone calls reporting the casualties.

One witness said, ‘Nobody could quite believe what they were seeing.’

‘Like all good Southend United fans who live within a five-minute walk of the ground, I was watching my beloved West Ham on some sort of illegal streaming service and watching the goal alerts from Roots Hall come flying in, when all of a sudden I looked out of the window and there were people lying on the floor all over the place.’

‘Sol Campbell should be given the freedom of the town for this achievement. No idea why he would want it because I wouldn’t personally wander around it freely after 4pm, but it’s a monumental feat of footballing excellence none the less.’

It’s been an excellent week for the club, with the three points coming straight after the club announced that planning permission for the proposed new stadium at Fossetts Farm has reached the final, ultimate, never-to-be-repeated, terminal, rubber-stamped, don’t tell the Revenue or Sainsbury’s stage.

United were hit with yet another ‘Winding Up’ order on Monday, mainly because the owner can’t f*cking stop winding the fans up.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 14
  • Flames 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Lanterne Rouge said:

I was just perusing the league 1 table. They have gone from two points off second when Cockman left to seventeen points off the playoffs now!

Freefall doesn`t begin to cover it.

#werealltranmerenow

Remember when they used to bitch about Cockman? ?

You’ve got everything you deserve Sags...

Owners ✔️

‘Stadium’ ✔️

Manager ✔️

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A quote from an interview with Ben Garner in The Football League paper yesterday on moving the club forward "it's like when your building a house, you've got to put the foundations in place, you don't want a tent that's going to blow over in the wind" has he not taken in his surroundings at home games ? ????

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, CiderJar said:

Some of them are beginning to understand    

The stadium is not an asset while it is mortgaged to the hilt, and they are still hanging on to the idea that JCH is an asset that can get them out of financial difficulty? Who is going to take a punt on him at a value that will make it worthwhile?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally.  Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Port Said Red said:

The stadium is not an asset while it is mortgaged to the hilt, and they are still hanging on to the idea that JCH is an asset that can get them out of financial difficulty? Who is going to take a punt on him at a value that will make it worthwhile?

They'll be lucky to get 500k for him.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, Vincent Vega said:

Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally.  Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. 

Camel GIF by memecandy

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Port Said Red said:

The stadium is not an asset while it is mortgaged to the hilt, and they are still hanging on to the idea that JCH is an asset that can get them out of financial difficulty? Who is going to take a punt on him at a value that will make it worthwhile?

My reliable inside source tells me that the great JCH is a bad apple. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, Rudolf Hucker said:

So world stock markets are crashing and there’s a global epidemic of epic proportion but all of that gloom is quickly lifted by the  revelations that somewhere, an individual has been playing Wears Wally and that JCH is a bastard.

What a great start to the week! Thank you OTIB!

It's all about proportion Rudolf as I am sure you know. :)

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Vincent Vega said:

Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally.  Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. 

It’s impossible for a little Willy to have a large falling out...

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Vincent Vega said:

Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally.  Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. 

Their entire fan base have been ****** by wally 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, myol'man said:

My reliable inside source tells me that the great JCH is a bad apple. 

 

“He’s obviously had some off the field problems

“He likes to be angry.

“He’s not very good when he’s happy so we’ll just have to keep making him angry.”

“But deep down he’s a good lad. I keep saying it, all those tattoos are a mask I think.”

Quotes from Coventry coach Jason Farndon

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, myol'man said:

“He’s obviously had some off the field problems

“He likes to be angry.

“He’s not very good when he’s happy so we’ll just have to keep making him angry.”

“But deep down he’s a good lad. I keep saying it, all those tattoos are a mask I think.”

Quotes from Coventry coach Jason Farndon

Surely just having to pull on "da quarters" and walk out into the worst stadium in the football league would be enough to make you angry? Maybe that's why he is the best form of his career? 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 07/03/2020 at 19:53, RedLionLad said:

Is the Bee Gee guy officially the worst manager they’ve ever had........and he’s not looking like getting sacked anytime yet?

"Bee Gee", love it, well played Sir. 

I wonder what's on his playlist? 

Tomorrow, Tomorrow (I might get a win) 

Staying Alive (Until Bankruptcy Arrives) 

Closer than Close (to Relegation) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...