RedLionLad Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 A report from The Southend News Network Hospitals in Southend On Sea in Essex have been moved to ‘Black Alert’ this evening after hundreds of local people died of shock at the news that Southend United had finally won a game. As soon as it was confirmed that The Shrimpers had overcome the footballing behemoth that is Bristol Rovers by three goals to one, 999 operators were swamped with phone calls reporting the casualties. One witness said, ‘Nobody could quite believe what they were seeing.’ ‘Like all good Southend United fans who live within a five-minute walk of the ground, I was watching my beloved West Ham on some sort of illegal streaming service and watching the goal alerts from Roots Hall come flying in, when all of a sudden I looked out of the window and there were people lying on the floor all over the place.’ ‘Sol Campbell should be given the freedom of the town for this achievement. No idea why he would want it because I wouldn’t personally wander around it freely after 4pm, but it’s a monumental feat of footballing excellence none the less.’ It’s been an excellent week for the club, with the three points coming straight after the club announced that planning permission for the proposed new stadium at Fossetts Farm has reached the final, ultimate, never-to-be-repeated, terminal, rubber-stamped, don’t tell the Revenue or Sainsbury’s stage. United were hit with yet another ‘Winding Up’ order on Monday, mainly because the owner can’t f*cking stop winding the fans up. 1 14 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IdliketoRogerMoore Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 6 hours ago, Rocky said: Wally pays bare minimum for manager, coaches, players (free transfers). But he is such a nice man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 I was just perusing the league 1 table. They have gone from two points off second when Cockman left to seventeen points off the playoffs now! Freefall doesn`t begin to cover it. #werealltranmerenow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 8 minutes ago, Lanterne Rouge said: I was just perusing the league 1 table. They have gone from two points off second when Cockman left to seventeen points off the playoffs now! Freefall doesn`t begin to cover it. #werealltranmerenow Remember when they used to bitch about Cockman? You’ve got everything you deserve Sags... Owners ‘Stadium’ Manager 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swede Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Babestation Stale crisps & fake fanta 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldenBall Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Horse punching ground stealing blaming Wycombe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myol'man Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Big week for Tranmere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Port Said Red Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Mythical Ground Mythical Training ground Mythical investment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 they do have something special no other league club has …. free fox poop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedLionLad Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 LLDDLLDWLLLDLLDDLLDWLLL The Mem has now become a Welsh railway station... 3 1 13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcfc01 Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 2 minutes ago, RedLionLad said: LLDDLLDWLLLDLLDDLLDWLLL The Mem has now become a Welsh railway station... Thats the equivalent to 2 wins in half a season..... Hopefully, they keep that up for the rest of this season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weepywall Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 A quote from an interview with Ben Garner in The Football League paper yesterday on moving the club forward "it's like when your building a house, you've got to put the foundations in place, you don't want a tent that's going to blow over in the wind" has he not taken in his surroundings at home games ? 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiderJar Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Some of them are beginning to understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Port Said Red Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 19 minutes ago, CiderJar said: Some of them are beginning to understand The stadium is not an asset while it is mortgaged to the hilt, and they are still hanging on to the idea that JCH is an asset that can get them out of financial difficulty? Who is going to take a punt on him at a value that will make it worthwhile? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally. Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bristol Rob Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 11 minutes ago, Port Said Red said: The stadium is not an asset while it is mortgaged to the hilt, and they are still hanging on to the idea that JCH is an asset that can get them out of financial difficulty? Who is going to take a punt on him at a value that will make it worthwhile? They'll be lucky to get 500k for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Isewater Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 24 minutes ago, Vincent Vega said: Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally. Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slartibartfast Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 1 hour ago, CiderJar said: Some of them are beginning to understand Shall we set up a Just Giving page ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Simpson Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 7 minutes ago, slartibartfast said: Shall we set up a Just Giving page ? I thought this was the Just Giving page. And boy do they keep giving. 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gasbuster Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 12 minutes ago, slartibartfast said: Shall we set up a Just Giving page ? Nah. A "Just Give Up" page would be more appropriate. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myol'man Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Port Said Red said: The stadium is not an asset while it is mortgaged to the hilt, and they are still hanging on to the idea that JCH is an asset that can get them out of financial difficulty? Who is going to take a punt on him at a value that will make it worthwhile? My reliable inside source tells me that the great JCH is a bad apple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Port Said Red Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 2 minutes ago, myol'man said: My reliable inside source tells me that the great JCH is a bad apple. His career record does seem to suggest that he struggles with consistency and ummm "loyalty". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolf Hucker Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 So world stock markets are crashing and there’s a global epidemic of epic proportion but all of that gloom is quickly lifted by the revelations that somewhere, an individual has been playing Wears Wally and that JCH is a bastard. What a great start to the week! Thank you OTIB! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Port Said Red Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 39 minutes ago, Rudolf Hucker said: So world stock markets are crashing and there’s a global epidemic of epic proportion but all of that gloom is quickly lifted by the revelations that somewhere, an individual has been playing Wears Wally and that JCH is a bastard. What a great start to the week! Thank you OTIB! It's all about proportion Rudolf as I am sure you know. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedLionLad Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Vincent Vega said: Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally. Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. It’s impossible for a little Willy to have a large falling out... 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Army 75 Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Vincent Vega said: Heard a really strange tale from a reliable source yesterday about Wally. Allegedly he was caught with his trousers down with someone other than his wife, earlier this year. The family took a very dim view of this apparently and a huge falling out followed. Just passing on yet another little snippet. Their entire fan base have been ****** by wally 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myol'man Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 1 hour ago, myol'man said: My reliable inside source tells me that the great JCH is a bad apple. “He’s obviously had some off the field problems “He likes to be angry. “He’s not very good when he’s happy so we’ll just have to keep making him angry.” “But deep down he’s a good lad. I keep saying it, all those tattoos are a mask I think.” Quotes from Coventry coach Jason Farndon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Port Said Red Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 12 minutes ago, myol'man said: “He’s obviously had some off the field problems “He likes to be angry. “He’s not very good when he’s happy so we’ll just have to keep making him angry.” “But deep down he’s a good lad. I keep saying it, all those tattoos are a mask I think.” Quotes from Coventry coach Jason Farndon Surely just having to pull on "da quarters" and walk out into the worst stadium in the football league would be enough to make you angry? Maybe that's why he is the best form of his career? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucky Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 18 hours ago, Ron Swanson said: Horse punching ground stealing blaming Wycombe them gert teds! Corrected it for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Colby-Tit Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 On 07/03/2020 at 19:53, RedLionLad said: Is the Bee Gee guy officially the worst manager they’ve ever had........and he’s not looking like getting sacked anytime yet? "Bee Gee", love it, well played Sir. I wonder what's on his playlist? Tomorrow, Tomorrow (I might get a win) Staying Alive (Until Bankruptcy Arrives) Closer than Close (to Relegation) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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