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Coming out as homosexual in the Championship


EnderMB

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Just now, richwwtk said:

Because the media are scum

I agree but the gay footballer is using the media and that's the bit I don't get. He's going to make it much worse for any other players thinking of doing the same isn't he by using the media circus?

I really don't get his motivation unless it's financial gain.

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4 minutes ago, 29AR said:

And yet the irony that this is being run as an extremely well oiled PR campaign. 

I don't mean to take anything away from the individual, but they certainly can't have been intimidated by the reaction because they are courting it. This is something I find with unease; just get on and do it and realise you're tomorrow's chip paper because no-one really gives a hoot.

Yes it will be a great thing and I look forward to putting to bed this connotation that football fans are less accepting, and sure fair play to the individual concerned - a brave lad who hopefully looks back and realises no bravery was actually needed - but the fanfare is a bit self-promoting to say the least. 

I guess the difference here is that at least the individual is the one dictating the direction of the ‘story’ rather than some scumbag rag ‘exposing’ someone who didn’t want to have their sexuality revealed in the first place. 

It does feel that for the last few years the red tops have been desperate to be the one to ‘bag’ the exposing of a gay footballer. 

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1 minute ago, Ska Junkie said:

I agree but the gay footballer is using the media and that's the bit I don't get. He's going to make it much worse for any other players thinking of doing the same isn't he by using the media circus?

I really don't get his motivation unless it's financial gain.

Or, he knows the media will be all over it regardless and is trying to do it on his own terms.

I can't think there's any ulterior motive behind it at all.

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I fear there will be a few idiots who engage in derogatory chants but hopefully the player will find comfort in that the gauntlet he runs will make it easier for those who follow him.

Hopefully the majority of fans will support him. As others have said, there must be gay players in the game and they should have the right not to hide who they are. People sometimes question why gay people need to come out at all but nobody should feel unable to talk about or be seen out and about with the person they love.

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4 minutes ago, Ska Junkie said:

I agree but the gay footballer is using the media and that's the bit I don't get. He's going to make it much worse for any other players thinking of doing the same isn't he by using the media circus?

I really don't get his motivation unless it's financial gain.

I kind of do.

Like it or not, this is a huge story (it shouldn’t be), and now he’s out to family and close friends (assumedly), his preferences will be known. It only takes one person to blab to the media and they’ll out him. It’s far better for him to manage it in a controlled way - put it this way, the press will be all over it. Better that’s with them on his side then doing it in a way which causes him stress when he’s just done what must have been a very hard thing.

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I'm guessing the people who say "What's the big deal?" have zero experience with the queer community.

He's going to get death threats. He might get physically attacked. And he's going to get horrendous abuse. He's also going to get massive support and "who cares, just play" from the majority. It'll be a big deal for the person. That's why it matters, it matters for them, and it matters as his treatment will affect others getting into football. It will inspire others to be open about themselves. Or it will scare people into silence. It is a big deal.

If there is no problem, then it will cease to be a big deal. Let's hope so. Let's hope for a world where it's not news. But in a country where people are still being beaten up and abused for their sexuality, it is.

WE have a responsibility to support this player if you care about the wellness of others.

 

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12 minutes ago, Ska Junkie said:

I don't see why Selred, I really don't. To me it sounds like an excuse for a book deal and £££££. I genuinely don't get the 'big news' bit although, I'm sure you're right due to the now inevitable media circus.Why not just get on with being a footballer. By bringing this to the media's attention, hasn't the gay footballer made it harder for others rather than easier?

One of my nephews is gay, he told the family and we got on with life. No big deal. Why should it be any different for a footballer?

There hasn't been an openly gay professional in Britain since Fashanu. It will be big news. The media will make it big news. 

And to be honest, it being big news isn't a bad thing. Hopefully it'll inspire many others to come out, many young people to understand it's okay to be gay. 

It's about destroying the stigma, and you cannot deny there isn't one. 

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26 minutes ago, Ska Junkie said:

I really don't get the 'big deal' here TBH. I go to football to watch the football, not worry about the sexuality of individuals.

While I wish the 'gay footballer' well, I genuinely couldn't give a monkeys.

I apologise if that's not PC but why the pullava?  He's gay, right, let's get on with the football. 

I think the issue is as much about team mates. 

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Just now, Selred said:

There hasn't been an openly gay professional in Britain since Fashanu. It will be big news. The media will make it big news. 

And to be honest, it being big news isn't a bad thing. Hopefully it'll inspire many others to come out, many young people to understand it's okay to be gay. 

It's about destroying the stigma, and you cannot deny there isn't one. 

I suppose my disdain has more to do with society TBH Selred, rather than football.  The fact that a bloke is gay, shouldn't be newsworthy IMHO, far from it TBH.

 

2 minutes ago, Selred said:

There hasn't been an openly gay professional in Britain since Fashanu. It will be big news. The media will make it big news. 

And to be honest, it being big news isn't a bad thing. Hopefully it'll inspire many others to come out, many young people to understand it's okay to be gay. 

It's about destroying the stigma, and you cannot deny there isn't one. 

Will it inspire or terrify though? I would suggest any professional sportsman with the same dilemma would be put off by the forthcoming reaction rather than inspired but that's just my opinion.

Did the diver from Plymouth get hammered when he came out? I can't remember.

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1 hour ago, EnderMB said:

A few journalists have backed this up as being legitimate, so it's very likely that in the coming weeks a footballer currently playing in the Championship will come out as gay.

While I think people in 2019 are more progressive than before, I still worry for this poor guy. There are a lot of people out there that will openly abuse him, and if the BBC poll from a few years back is any indication, there may be some fans that choose to stop watching their team because one of their players is gay.

I'd like to think Bristol City fans are different, though. If one of our players were to come out, I hope he gets full support from the fans and his fellow players.

It's interesting that there are plenty of openly gay female footballers and no one gives a hoot about that.

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Just now, Ska Junkie said:

I suppose my disdain has more to do with society TBH Selred, rather than football.  The fact that a bloke is gay, shouldn't be newsworthy IMHO, far from it TBH.

 

Will it inspire or terrify though? I would suggest any professional sportsman with the same dilemma would be put off by the forthcoming reaction rather than inspired but that's just my opinion.

Did the diver from Plymouth get hammered when he came out? I can't remember.

Totally agree, it shouldn't be newsworthy.

We have had 30 odd years with gay footballers not being able to live their lives in public. That is terrifying. 

Knowing you aren't, and won't be, the only gay footballer and making gay footballers a common thing, can only help. 

Yes Daley got a lot of abuse. And that show's how awful society is. And the only way to challenge this is to stand up, to be proud and beat the haters. Not live your life in silence. 

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1 minute ago, Selred said:

There hasn't been an openly gay professional in Britain since Fashanu. It will be big news. The media will make it big news. 

And to be honest, it being big news isn't a bad thing. Hopefully it'll inspire many others to come out, many young people to understand it's okay to be gay. 

It's about destroying the stigma, and you cannot deny there isn't one. 

I think the bigness of the news will be directly proportionate to the bigness of the player and the club. I’m not sure, say, if it was a (for example) Joe Morrell it will be anything other than an inside story and a small follow up. However, if it was (for example), an Adam Webster it’d be bigger news. If it was one of our players, the biggest publicity would be for Kalas/Weimann as ex premier league with national name recognition.

The long and short of that is that the media will be all over it, but they’d only stop their hunting for another player to out when they felt that a big enough name had come out. That’s why Gareth Thomas was huge - there was nowhere to go for the media in rugby post him 

Sad, but how the media work

 

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Just now, Selred said:

Totally agree, it shouldn't be newsworthy.

We have had 30 odd years with gay footballers not being able to live their lives in public. That is terrifying. 

Knowing you aren't, and won't be, the only gay footballer and making gay footballers a common thing, can only help. 

Yes Daley got a lot of abuse. And that show's how awful society is. And the only way to challenge this is to stand up, to be proud and beat the haters. Not live your life in silence. 

Thanks Selred, excuse my ignorance, I couldn't remember Daley's name.

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Regarding the OP, city fans will certainly not be any different to other fans. He will get abuse I am sure. Maybe not every game but he will.  

There are racist city fans and there will be homophobic city fans

For those questioning why make a big deal of it and they don’t care what sexual preference footballers have...you are missing the point.  Footballers coming out will continue to normalise homosexuality. Progress needs to keep happening to make everyone see it as normal.  The more celebrities and footballers that come out the better for this end

Homosexuality is perfectly normal

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4 minutes ago, Silvio Dante said:

I’m not sure, say, if it was a (for example) Joe Morrell it will be anything other than an inside story and a small follow up

It's the first openly gay footballer, it will be BIG news regardless of the professional player. 

Obviously the bigger name, the better. But even if it was a league 2 kid, with 4 games under his belt, it'll still be back page, big splash.

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1 minute ago, RedDave said:

Regarding the OP, city fans will certainly not be any different to other fans. He will get abuse I am sure. Maybe not every game but he will.  

There are racist city fans and there will be homophobic city fans

For those questioning why make a big deal of it and they don’t care what sexual preference footballers have...you are missing the point.  Footballers coming out will continue to normalise homosexuality. Progress needs to keep happening to make everyone see it as normal.  The more celebrities and footballers that come out the better for this end

Homosexuality is perfectly normal

I agree with your points Dave but this media circus could make people targets again rather than normalise things, unfortunately. It really could backfire although I hope it doesn't.

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4 minutes ago, Ska Junkie said:

I agree with your points Dave but this media circus could make people targets again rather than normalise things, unfortunately. It really could backfire although I hope it doesn't.

People are already targets.  I believe there is 20 hate crimes reported per day in the UK and allegedly 80% of hate crimes go unreported on top of that number. 

I can’t see the negatives here really. The first person would be a circus anyway however it was handled.  The person accusing them of doing it for money has baffled me.

Why do you think people will react negatively ?

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16 minutes ago, fishy said:

It's interesting that there are plenty of openly gay female footballers and no one gives a hoot about that.

Certain men are offended by gay men but not by lesbians. 

16 minutes ago, Selred said:

Totally agree, it shouldn't be newsworthy.

We have had 30 odd years with gay footballers not being able to live their lives in public. That is terrifying. 

Knowing you aren't, and won't be, the only gay footballer and making gay footballers a common thing, can only help. 

Yes Daley got a lot of abuse. And that show's how awful society is. And the only way to challenge this is to stand up, to be proud and beat the haters. Not live your life in silence. 

Absolutely spot on post 

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47 minutes ago, phantom said:

I was surprised how many of our England team are lesbians, is it easier to "come out" in the womens game compared to the mens?

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/9251709/england-lionesses-partners-womens-world-cup/

Must admit am surprised there are as many in a same sex relationship, much higher than you would normally expect considering the percentage of people that are said to be gay.

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It matters nothing to me a person's sexual habits (within the law), the colour of skin, political and religious beliefs, gender or any other differences one can think of.

Respect others, acknowledge and comply with the laws of the country, work hard at one's chosen job, bring one's children up in the correct manner and with a sense of humour.

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3 minutes ago, RedDave said:

People are already targets.  I believe there is 20 hate crimes reported per day in the UK and allegedly 80% of hate crimes go unreported on top of that number. 

I can’t see the negatives here really. The first person would be a circus anyway however it was handled.  The person accusing them of doing it for money has baffled me.

Why do you think people will react negatively ?

I'm not saying they will Dave but it's certainly a possibility. Not everyone is as level headed as others. 

BTW, I didn't accuse the player of doing it for money, although that will inevitably follow, I just questioned the motivations of doing this in public.

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I was at my sons primary school summer concert yesterday. All of the classes get up and perform a song.  

A man near me asked his wife if one of the male teachers was gay.  Assuming this man isn’t thinking about asking the teacher out for a drink anytime soon, what reason does he have for asking that question? 

If the place hadn’t have been packed I’d have asked him myself. People might think this is a non story but it goes to show there is a long way to go for homosexuality to be regarded as being as normal as heterosexuality 

2 minutes ago, Ska Junkie said:

I'm not saying they will Dave but it's certainly a possibility. Not everyone is as level headed as others. 

BTW, I didn't accuse the player of doing it for money, although that will inevitably follow, I just questioned the motivations of doing this in public.

Fair enough.  There has been a lot of talk that this account is fake. I really hope it isn’t. 

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Absolute non story.

Right minded people ceased considering individual's sexual orientation decades ago.

What is bothersome is why would the mystery man think his orientation might impact squad selection or pre-season training? Can't wait for the 'dropped not because I'd lost form rather because I was gay' excuse. The 'only two know'  line,  don't delude yourself son.  Or might it be the case The Gay Footballer and his supporters end up showing mock abhorrence when nobody gives a flying when he makes his disclosure?

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I get that for this player, it’s a big step - but as others have said in this thread, I really don’t care and this is being made into a bigger issue than it needs to be. 

I get the “awareness” aspect and if it enables others to be more open & happy then that’s a good thing - but why are people “hoping it means more come out”..? It’s up to them, surely..?! 

Come out (or don’t), do so without fear - be aware that some tossers might give you a bit of stick for it. End of. 

This hyping it up is just ridiculous and totally counter productive, imo. 

 

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8 minutes ago, BTRFTG said:

Absolute non story.

Right minded people ceased considering individual's sexual orientation decades ago.

What is bothersome is why would the mystery man think his orientation might impact squad selection or pre-season training? Can't wait for the 'dropped not because I'd lost form rather because I was gay' excuse. The 'only two know'  line,  don't delude yourself son.  Or might it be the case The Gay Footballer and his supporters end up showing mock abhorrence when nobody gives a flying when he makes his disclosure?

Blimey.  Point missed I think.

You also say nobody cares and then slag him off for something he hasn’t done!

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1 minute ago, Bar BS3 said:

I get that for this player, it’s a big step - but as others have said in this thread, I really don’t care and this is being made into a bigger issue than it needs to be. 

I get the “awareness” aspect and if it enables others to be more open & happy then that’s a good thing - but why are people “hoping it means more come out”..? It’s up to them, surely..?! 

Come out (or don’t), do so without fear - be aware that some tossers might give you a bit of stick for it. End of. 

This hyping it up is just ridiculous and totally counter productive, imo. 

 

But they are fearful.  How do you suggest they become less fearful ?  

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