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Coming out as homosexual in the Championship


EnderMB

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9 hours ago, Cowshed said:

The welfare role is there to help the club uphold its responsibilities e.g. safeguarding. 

 

Yes, and a key part of that is maintaining equality for all players.  If I have to investigate a case of alleged homophobia, as I had to at under 15 level last season, I do not conclude that the person subject to homophobic comments should have done more to conceal their orientation, I conclude that the comments were wrong and should not have been made.  My conclusions were upheld by the Football Association.

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On 09/07/2019 at 13:12, EnderMB said:

A few journalists have backed this up as being legitimate, so it's very likely that in the coming weeks a footballer currently playing in the Championship will come out as gay.

While I think people in 2019 are more progressive than before, I still worry for this poor guy. There are a lot of people out there that will openly abuse him, and if the BBC poll from a few years back is any indication, there may be some fans that choose to stop watching their team because one of their players is gay.

I'd like to think Bristol City fans are different, though. If one of our players were to come out, I hope he gets full support from the fans and his fellow players.

Me too I don't understand the obsession with getting some poor soul to out themselves to one of the most hostile set of fans.

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15 minutes ago, Lorenzos Only Goal said:

Me too I don't understand the obsession with getting some poor soul to out themselves to one of the most hostile set of fans.

There is a legitimate argument for people coming out, though - because people shouldn't have to hide who they are because some fans will be bellends.

I think that once this person comes out, it'll be a few years before the floodgates open, and loads of players come out. I also think we'll see a lot of support in youth football for kids that might have steered away from a career in football due to conflicting feelings about football/their sexuality.

He's not coming out for us. He's coming out for himself, because he feels that hiding who he is at work is an unnecessary burden. He's also coming out for the others that feel the same way as he does, and are afraid that an "out" footballer will get abuse and limited career opportunities.

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14 hours ago, gl1 said:

 

I’m not sure what parents would make of it. I have not asked any. I can tell however, what YOU think of a gay man coaching kids and to be frank I am appalled at the not so veiled insinuation of sexuality and sexual attraction between coach and children. 

As a gay man I take most banter in good faith but I take massive offence at your comment and I request a written apology and or a banning order on your profile. Mods, can you take some action against this individual?

Ive stayed away from this thread on the whole as it will only end one way

Anyone reading properly will have been clear that @Cowshed was not suggesting that gay people should not be coaching kids

Sorry , but you could not wait to jump and be offended , demanding a written apology (wtf) and @Cowshed being banned

 

Anyone with an ounce of common sense would also know from Cowshed’s posts that he (Assuming cowshed is a man) is heavily involved in and well versed in the principles and practice of coaching , and I guess very professional in his application of all the principles , and even the thought he would suggest what you implied is laughable  in all honesty

Personally I have to say it is some like you that actually do the LGBT , or other groups in life , a disservice , and annoys those who otherwise are happy to let each to be themselves 

Having said that there’s plenty happy ready  to be offended on someone else’s behalf 

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1 hour ago, BobBobSuperBob said:

Ive stayed away from this thread on the whole as it will only end one way

Anyone reading properly will have been clear that @Cowshed was not suggesting that gay people should not be coaching kids

Sorry , but you could not wait to jump and be offended , demanding a written apology (wtf) and @Cowshed being banned

 

Anyone with an ounce of common sense would also know from Cowshed’s posts that he (Assuming cowshed is a man) is heavily involved in and well versed in the principles and practice of coaching , and I guess very professional in his application of all the principles , and even the thought he would suggest what you implied is laughable  in all honesty

Personally I have to say it is some like you that actually do the LGBT , or other groups in life , a disservice , and annoys those who otherwise are happy to let each to be themselves 

Having said that there’s plenty happy ready  to be offended on someone else’s behalf 

This is OTIB we're talking about Bob!

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1 hour ago, BobBobSuperBob said:

Ive stayed away from this thread on the whole as it will only end one way

Anyone reading properly will have been clear that @Cowshed was not suggesting that gay people should not be coaching kids

Sorry , but you could not wait to jump and be offended , demanding a written apology (wtf) and @Cowshed being banned

 

Anyone with an ounce of common sense would also know from Cowshed’s posts that he (Assuming cowshed is a man) is heavily involved in and well versed in the principles and practice of coaching , and I guess very professional in his application of all the principles , and even the thought he would suggest what you implied is laughable  in all honesty

Personally I have to say it is some like you that actually do the LGBT , or other groups in life , a disservice , and annoys those who otherwise are happy to let each to be themselves 

Having said that there’s plenty happy ready  to be offended on someone else’s behalf 

I have highlighted how reactionary and mean spirited people can be. Within football it is worse. It is not a fluffy world. 

When a Coach or a Manager drops a player he runs the risk of losing a friend and making an enemy. Its hard for people to take, and some do react with vindictiveness. Teams at each level have their own politics, the higher you go the worse those politics get particularly when money is involved. Those in these settings who perceive themselves to be victims gravitate to other victims and its not uncommon for them to target other individuals seeking to undermine them. I have experienced others targeting players kids, wives, their colour .. Very little is out of bounds. People that, 1% can be ******* vile possessing little consideration of others. 

We as humans want to fit in and be part of the team, which involves observing and being part of its group dynamics. You will know that Managers and Coaches will select players not because of how good they are, but on occasions how well they fit in and preserve the harmony of the group. 

Add sexuality to the above chemistry I can see why individuals hide elements of what they are. Nowhere have I said this is right.

I have spent large parts of my life playing and coaching including with players who played above City. From grass roots up to pros … And yet I know of very very few people who are gay. I can waffle (obviously) about topics like how a players date of birth will affect their opportunities in football but have virtually no knowledge, or can access that much information about football and sexuality.

There is something wrong there but If people are as reactionary as posters are on this thread, well many people shut down, take the path of least resistance, do not challenge others, cease seeking to know more and working to improve themselves …  In regards to your last two sentences I agree wholeheartedly.  If you cannot have a grown up conversation you cannot attempt to address a problem. That is a disservice. 

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17 hours ago, gl1 said:

 

I’m not sure what parents would make of it. I have not asked any. I can tell however, what YOU think of a gay man coaching kids and to be frank I am appalled at the not so veiled insinuation of sexuality and sexual attraction between coach and children. 

As a gay man I take most banter in good faith but I take massive offence at your comment and I request a written apology and or a banning order on your profile. Mods, can you take some action against this individual?

No action will be taken against the individual, I cannot see anything other than someone raising points for debate, I spent ages the other night cleaning nonsense out of this thread and since then, there has been a much better level of debate and conversation, some of which may or may not be to your liking, but I can find nothing that is genuinely offensive.

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For everyone saying that an openly gay footballer should not be news, let me explain why it is...

Football (mens) is not accessible for gay people.

That's why footballers hide their homosexuality. They would be ridiculed, bullied, targeted etc etc.

That's why we need gay footballers to become normalised.

Progress is only possible when the first few men come out.

Proogress is news. Hence this is news.

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On 10/07/2019 at 13:01, BobBobSuperBob said:

I think the whole point is , nobody actually cares

Well, ........having said that there are a few on the forum who can at least satisfy their desire and getting on their platform to educate us ignorant mortals  , lucky humanity has them to lead us forward and save us from the devil

:thumbsup:

Its actually really important. There might be some really talented kids out there who just don't feel comfortable in the straight macho world of football and so don't realise their potential. A few role models could change all of that. It happened with ethnicity back in the day.

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5 hours ago, EnderMB said:

There is a legitimate argument for people coming out, though - because people shouldn't have to hide who they are because some fans will be bellends.

I think that once this person comes out, it'll be a few years before the floodgates open, and loads of players come out. I also think we'll see a lot of support in youth football for kids that might have steered away from a career in football due to conflicting feelings about football/their sexuality.

He's not coming out for us. He's coming out for himself, because he feels that hiding who he is at work is an unnecessary burden. He's also coming out for the others that feel the same way as he does, and are afraid that an "out" footballer will get abuse and limited career opportunities.

I get that, but there are plenty of football fans that are just *******.  Football fans are not evolved enough yet, let's get that right, then people won't have to worry about hiding their sexual.  It's not the 1960s people are free to be what ever they like, it's just some sections of society are not that evolved.  I worry for this individual because of the influence social media has it will be worse than what it was like for Justin Fashinu. 

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48 minutes ago, Lorenzos Only Goal said:

I get that, but there are plenty of football fans that are just *******.  Football fans are not evolved enough yet, let's get that right, then people won't have to worry about hiding their sexual.  It's not the 1960s people are free to be what ever they like, it's just some sections of society are not that evolved.  I worry for this individual because of the influence social media has it will be worse than what it was like for Justin Fashinu. 

I agree with you, but in my view this is the test that modern-day football needs. My belief is that there are enough good people out there that the bad ones will be ostracised by their club and fan base.

It'll be hard to watch and deal with in the beginning, but I think it needs to happen. The FA and the Football League need this test, and by doing this in public it allows all of football to band together and build its support system. Let's not forget that mental health is a fairly new issue in football, and the league has come on in leaps and bounds in helping those that struggle.

 

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25 minutes ago, Oh Louie louie said:

Justin was dating bet lynch at one point.

Apropos (almost) of nothing, I remember that Justin Fashanu & Tosh Lines out of The Bill both died on the same day & the S*n had a split front page with pics of both of them - I was going to Ibiza with an ex girlfriend and remember seeing the newspaper in the shop in the departure lounge! It was a terrible holiday too. For those who were wondering. Where does the time go. . . 

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On 09/07/2019 at 13:12, EnderMB said:
 

While I think people in 2019 are more progressive than before, I still worry for this poor guy. There are a lot of people out there that will openly abuse him,

 

The same thing was previously put forward when non white players were being signed up. Players of all races, creeds and skin colour are now an accepted part of the game. In my book, so long as he is good enough then I've no trouble with him playing for City regardless of personal life.

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8 hours ago, mozo said:

For everyone saying that an openly gay footballer should not be news, let me explain why it is...

Football (mens) is not accessible for gay people.

That's why footballers hide their homosexuality. They would be ridiculed, bullied, targeted etc etc.

That's why we need gay footballers to become normalised.

Progress is only possible when the first few men come out.

Proogress is news. Hence this is news.

Excuse my ignorance please but can you provide an example of a barrier the stops gay people from accessing football?

I simply can't think of anything. 

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8 hours ago, Pezo said:

Excuse my ignorance please but can you provide an example of a barrier the stops gay people from accessing football?

I simply can't think of anything. 

Fear of being the only 'different' person in a squad of alpha straight blokes.

Fear of not being accepted by the group or having to keep a secret from them.

Fear of being treated differently within the club, possibly ridiculed or picked on.

Fear of being singled out on the terraces for their sexuality.

Fear of being treated as a spectacle by the media.

And whilst these are only fears, they're all rooted in an awareness of the world we live in. All of these things are very likely and who would wants to suffer that?

I'm sure you're not ignorant, by the way, it's just something to consider.

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17 hours ago, mozo said:

Its actually really important. There might be some really talented kids out there who just don't feel comfortable in the straight macho world of football and so don't realise their potential. A few role models could change all of that. It happened with ethnicity back in the day.

A friend's granddaughter, who was apparently very decent at football, left the local women's football team because of unwanted lesbian attention from older players.

It doesn't just cut one way every time.

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I believe that many players are gay and I believe that their team mates are almost always aware of this. It is one of those professions where people tend to socialise a lot with people within their own circle and I think it would be quite difficult to hide the fact in those circumstances. I worked in the casino industry for 15 years, a profession where it was necessary for someone to be open about their life to remove the possibility of blackmail or coercion, so generally everyone was aware of everyone elses sexuality etc. 
This may be something that has to be considered in the sports field, imagine a betting syndicate becoming aware of a players sexual orientation and using that to apply pressure on them to throw a game etc, it is something that the authorities need to be aware of too.

I have mixed feelings about this player "coming out", I do think it will be a good thing for there to be a level of openness in our game, but I would love to think that it is unnecessary to make a big fuss about it. No one has ever asked a straight footballer, male or female, to "come out" as straight, wouldn't it be more normal for there to be no need for a member of the LGBT+ community to do so either.

 

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22 minutes ago, mozo said:

Fear of being the only 'different' person in a squad of alpha straight blokes.

Fear of not being accepted by the group or having to keep a secret from them.

Fear of being treated differently within the club, possibly ridiculed or picked on.

Fear of being singled out on the terraces for their sexuality.

Fear of being treated as a spectacle by the media.

And whilst these are only fears, they're all rooted in an awareness of the world we live in. All of these things are very likely and who would wants to suffer that?

I'm sure you're not ignorant, by the way, it's just something to consider.

All of these are mental barriers that have been created by the individual they are not barriers that have been created by anyone else. If the only barriers that stop people from accessing football are in the head of the individual then I'm not sure what can be done address the situation. 

Now if these fears were to manifest themselves then that says more about individuals treating people differently based on thier sexual preferences than it does about the individual. 

To lighten the mood a little - Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

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36 minutes ago, Pezo said:

All of these are mental barriers that have been created by the individual they are not barriers that have been created by anyone else. If the only barriers that stop people from accessing football are in the head of the individual then I'm not sure what can be done address the situation. 

Now if these fears were to manifest themselves then that says more about individuals treating people differently based on thier sexual preferences than it does about the individual. 

To lighten the mood a little - Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Come on, imagine if after winning the title Aguero ran to the stands and gave his bloke a big kiss, or turned up to the player or the year awards hand in hand with him, or was photographed fooling around with him on a yaught in the med this summer.

Everyone agrees it shouldn't be the case but the reality is there is still a stigma around it and the first few times those things happen there will be a huge focus and attention on those involved just for living their life. It's going to take a few brave individuals to weather that storm - and worse.

Their fears may just be in their head but that doesn't mean they are irrational. I'd love for the above to happen and nobody to bat an eye as most would but we both know that won't happen - the same reason coming out as straight or whatever comments regularly pop up isn't really relevant.

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1 hour ago, Pezo said:

All of these are mental barriers that have been created by the individual they are not barriers that have been created by anyone else. If the only barriers that stop people from accessing football are in the head of the individual then I'm not sure what can be done address the situation. 

Now if these fears were to manifest themselves then that says more about individuals treating people differently based on thier sexual preferences than it does about the individual. 

To lighten the mood a little - Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

I disagree. Fear based on reality.

All of those things could and probably would happen. I mean look at the abuse Greame LeSaux got just for reading the Guardian!

Edit: Also it's not in the mind of the individual, it's a whole demographic. 

Don't forget that being openly gay in an office used to be stigmatized. On a building site it arguably still is. Eventually in society, a time comes when people feel brave enough to risk it, then others follow. Hopefully that time is coming.

1 hour ago, Eddie Hitler said:

A friend's granddaughter, who was apparently very decent at football, left the local women's football team because of unwanted lesbian attention from older players.

It doesn't just cut one way every time.

No, but two wrongs don't make a right.

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