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Coming out as homosexual in the Championship


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10 minutes ago, WhistleHappy said:

It'll be a good day when nobody need worry about any consequences of revealing their sexuality in public life, when no one bats an eyelid and everyone can be free to be who or what they are or choose to be without fear of ridicule. I think the sooner the better that day comes it must be horrible living in fear of being 'exposed' and I'm sure infact when it happens and others 'come out' as well the 'news' will be so short lived quickly becoming 'yesterdays' chip paper... as the realisation hits that nobody really gives a shit, the huge relief of a weight lifted from their shoulders will amaze them, what was all those years spent hiding, lying and in denial all about? FFS nobody cares afterall.. freedom at last.

The impact after the short lived initial few gasps, comments end reactions will quickly subside to nothing … football will quickly 'get over, and, get on with it' 

Who remembers the great late WBA player who shocked the nation on his England International debut when he came out  revealed himself, openly telling everyone he was a black man (ffs! everyone gasped, if it was pointed out no one would have noticed.. blimey! )  it didn't happen like that of course, but it wasn't long before black players became common place and who the f *** even notices nowadays … it'll quite rightly be the same in no time for gay players too, who gives a monkeys?

Just do it, get on with it, and it'll barely cause a ripple...  (but please, dont go on about it forever and a day, bringing up the subject at every opportunity, unfortunately that's what a significant number of black people seem to want to do at the drop of a hat, literally pointing out and drawing attention to 'differences' while society is rightly trying to agree that we're all human beings living and breathing the same air and occupying the same space as everyone else) 

It'd be a sad world if everyone was exactly the same, diversity in all walks of life makes life interesting and worth living.. 

Football and society will be all the better for it...   and good on you for living YOUR life! 

Good post! And I’d like to put it out there that I love boobs & fanny. Got a bit of a man crush onJamie Redknapp but have no interest in seeing or touching his ding dong, but if I were that way inclined, I would..! 

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As some of you know, my son is gay.

He came out at 14 (9 yrs ago) and has not had a single problem. he holds hands with his boyfriend in public, has a kiss when they feel like it - in public - have romantic meals and go clubbing in any club they want - straight,mixed or gay.

Not a single problem. Now I appreciate we live in A VERY metropolitan and multicultural city - Melbourne - and I know that it may be different in a small rural outback town, but my point - AND HIS (as he has just read this thread), is that nobody he has ever met gives a fig.

Nobody.

There was some light teasing at school, nothing at Uni, and nothing at work - he works in a Cinema as duty manager while he completes his masters in Psychology.

Australia is percieved as a backward and uneducated very young country - it's treatment of Indigenous Australians is and was dispicable.

But with homosexuality nobody gives a hoot - gay couples walk around hand in hand all over the city without a care.

If anything it's tourists that have a gawky second look!

 

Pride is a huge tourist event.

We already have the AFL and NRL wear rainbow laces and have a 'pride' round in both sporting codes.

Gay people can and do marry - although is was astonishing to 99% of voters that it took so long for our Politicians to actually pass the bloody bill in 2016, not 20 yrs ago!

My point  is that I am firmly in the 'who cares' camp as it just isn't a thing here. Gay people are pretty much 100% treated like anyone else.

 

Ever thought it might not be a football thing, but a UK society thing?

After all the 'morons' and 'knuckle-draggers' live next door to some of you, their kids go to the same school as some of yours - so why can one society fully accept people being gay, and another has this huge 'media circle' / social issue about it?

As someone said - other countries - and lets be honest - Islamic ones - will kill gay people.

So perhaps it's not football fans, it's  shitty societies/countries/ and certain religion's that makes this a "thing".

The environment, not the sport perhaps?

 

Edited by SX227
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7 hours ago, AshtonGreat said:

How is it any different to any other kind of abuse? 

Any abuse against a certain sexuality,race or religion is now construed as a hate crime.

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As a gay man myself i sometimes joke that following city and going to games is the most masculine thing i do. Well that and following formula one. But the main issue is education or the lack of it, as a society we are still feeling the effects of section 28 from the Thatcher government where schools were banned from ‘promoting homosexual relationships’ as if people have a choice about who they are, but the consequences are that a stigma existed that it was somehow unnatural. 

It’s never been an issue for me the lack of gay players, mainly because I’m there to watch the football and hopefully a city win and couldn’t care less who the players have a relationship with, but think the floodgates could be about open once that stigma has gone. So fair play to whoever it is wanting to be open about who they are.

Saying that I’ve sometimes cringed particularly when playing Brighton hearing the chants of ‘does your boyfriend know you’re here’ not because I’ve been offended but because it’s such an embarrassingly lazy stereotype 

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6 hours ago, Bar BS3 said:

Sorry, I don’t get your post..! This reply isn’t aimed at you specifically.

Why “can’t you wait”..? Odd..!

Is keeping your private life private, really “living a lie”..? 

Do you think that any club who’s fans make any derogatory comment about any players lifestyle should be punished to this extent..? Do you think the player in question would want such sanctions imposed..? 

Do you not have enough faith in a gay man’s character to shrug off a bit of ignorant “banter” from a bunch of idiots, above someone who’s fat, ugly, ginger etc..?

Nobody deserves to be fearful, whatever they choose to be, but by making your choices, you should have enough conviction in them to not let a few Neanderthals get you down. 

If someone who’s gay chanted at me “you like boobs/fanny/where’s your girl friend, straight boy?” Do you think that club should be docked points for questioning my sexual preferences..?  If someone punched me for it, yes. But that’s the case for any actual abuse. 

I think too many people use these situations to make a statement of “I’m not homophobic/racist/sexist/ani anything” rather than get the point that people should just get on with their lives & **** what people think. 

 

I can’t wait as it is so long overdue that a professional footballer feels like they can openly say what they really are. In this day and age no one should feel like they shouldn’t live the life they want. To not have to live in fear of being outed, or pictured coming out of a gay club.

Shouting homophobic comments is as bad as racial comments in my book. Do you believe racial comments should be unpunished and let the few get away with it? If so what is the difference between racial and homophobic chants/derogatory comments?

My brother is in a gay marriage and to think he would need to live his life differently or ‘accept’ people shouting abuse on a daily basis for doing his job, as you seem to suggest a footballer should, as it’s just “bants” is a shocking view in my opinion. It’s almost like justifying those actions.

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6 hours ago, Ska Junkie said:

That should prompt the gas shouting homophobic chants at our place then! Well done. With your rules, every club in the 80's would have finished on minus points.

Just play bloody football. That's what I go to the Gate for, not to sympathise about sexuality, race, religion, creed, colour etc etc. Every red is a red to me so, I would assume, the majority don't give a crap. 

What's next, a member of bloody parliament before each match telling us what we should think or is that non PC? Football is an entertainment, a release for us people that work hard, not a political / non PC tool. 

It's nothing to do with football! 

Some bloke is gay, big bloody deal, get on with the bloody game. There are far more important issues that need addressing.

BTW, I couldn't give a crap who this upsets, there are more pressing issues than who some bloke goes home with.

That’s your view. Unfortunately not everyone will have the attitude of if they are gay then so what, just let them play football...

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16 hours ago, RedDave said:

There are clearly people who say they don’t care but secretly do care and wish not to be reminded that some people are gay.

Trying to paint people who have no strong feelings on the matter as homophobic, nice one.  

If it was true tho isn’t that the goal? If they are homophobic and say they don’t care then they keep it to themselves and don’t spread their vile words

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1 hour ago, formerly known as ivan said:

I can’t wait as it is so long overdue that a professional footballer feels like they can openly say what they really are. In this day and age no one should feel like they shouldn’t live the life they want. To not have to live in fear of being outed, or pictured coming out of a gay club.

Shouting homophobic comments is as bad as racial comments in my book. Do you believe racial comments should be unpunished and let the few get away with it? If so what is the difference between racial and homophobic chants/derogatory comments?

My brother is in a gay marriage and to think he would need to live his life differently or ‘accept’ people shouting abuse on a daily basis for doing his job, as you seem to suggest a footballer should, as it’s just “bants” is a shocking view in my opinion. It’s almost like justifying those actions.

I didn’t say that though, did I..? 

No, nobody should shout abuse at anyone. There are different levels of offence and impact meant by different comments- I’m sure you’ll agree..?

 

 

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5 hours ago, SX227 said:

As some of you know, my son is gay.

He came out at 14 (9 yrs ago) and has not had a single problem. he holds hands with his boyfriend in public, has a kiss when they feel like it - in public - have romantic meals and go clubbing in any club they want - straight,mixed or gay.

Not a single problem. Now I appreciate we live in A VERY metropolitan and multicultural city - Melbourne - and I know that it may be different in a small rural outback town, but my point - AND HIS (as he has just read this thread), is that nobody he has ever met gives a fig.

Nobody.

There was some light teasing at school, nothing at Uni, and nothing at work - he works in a Cinema as duty manager while he completes his masters in Psychology.

Australia is percieved as a backward and uneducated very young country - it's treatment of Indigenous Australians is and was dispicable.

But with homosexuality nobody gives a hoot - gay couples walk around hand in hand all over the city without a care.

If anything it's tourists that have a gawky second look!

 

Pride is a huge tourist event.

We already have the AFL and NRL wear rainbow laces and have a 'pride' round in both sporting codes.

Gay people can and do marry - although is was astonishing to 99% of voters that it took so long for our Politicians to actually pass the bloody bill in 2016, not 20 yrs ago!

My point  is that I am firmly in the 'who cares' camp as it just isn't a thing here. Gay people are pretty much 100% treated like anyone else.

 

Ever thought it might not be a football thing, but a UK society thing?

After all the 'morons' and 'knuckle-draggers' live next door to some of you, their kids go to the same school as some of yours - so why can one society fully accept people being gay, and another has this huge 'media circle' / social issue about it?

As someone said - other countries - and lets be honest - Islamic ones - will kill gay people.

So perhaps it's not football fans, it's  shitty societies/countries/ and certain religion's that makes this a "thing".

The environment, not the sport perhaps?

 

It’s great to hear that your son has had no real problems in openly being who he is. 

I think I, and others, can be as “accepting” as we like, but only people in your families situation (and a previous poster above) can really shed light on what society are really like towards them. 

Out of interest... do you feel that this footballer is going about this the right way..? I’m genuinely interested in your take on it and will base my opinions of it on what you and others who have experienced it first hand, think. 

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16 minutes ago, Sturny said:

Trying to paint people who have no strong feelings on the matter as homophobic, nice one.  

If it was true tho isn’t that the goal? If they are homophobic and say they don’t care then they keep it to themselves and don’t spread their vile words

Not what I meant. Didn’t mean everyone who doesn’t apparently care is homophobic. Some are though as this thread shows in places. 

The goal is for complete acceptance. That has to be the ultimate goal 

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1 minute ago, RedDave said:

Not what I meant. Didn’t mean everyone who doesn’t apparently care is homophobic. Some are though as this thread shows in places. 

The goal is for complete acceptance. That has to be the ultimate goal 

I think what you're asking for is nigh on impossible

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5 minutes ago, RedDave said:

Not what I meant. Didn’t mean everyone who doesn’t apparently care is homophobic. Some are though as this thread shows in places. 

The goal is for complete acceptance. That has to be the ultimate goal 

Fair enough, I agree too 

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2 minutes ago, AshtonGreat said:

I think what you're asking for is nigh on impossible

It will be the next generation that make the great strides. Lots more focus on equality now in and out of schools. If my 8 year old son is gay then it will be a hell of a lot easier for him than it would have been when I was growing up. 

Even just the language we use at home will mean it will be easy for him to tell me if he is gay. I speak about homosexuality no different than heterosexuality

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4 minutes ago, RedDave said:

It will be the next generation that make the great strides. Lots more focus on equality now in and out of schools. If my 8 year old son is gay then it will be a hell of a lot easier for him than it would have been when I was growing up. 

Even just the language we use at home will mean it will be easy for him to tell me if he is gay. I speak about homosexuality no different than heterosexuality

I agree that it can and will get a lot better (it already has), but I don't think homophobia or racism will ever be completely eradicated. It's human nature to some extent. 

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2 minutes ago, RedDave said:

Human nature? Really??!

Humans are tribal animals because of millions of years of evolution and as a consequence are wary of anybody who is different.

Throughout the great majority of that time that wariness kept you alive, wander naive and trusting into a rival village and you die, so it is a hard-wired feature of our natures.

 

And we are not talking about the distant past here; only this week:

 

Quote

 

Children and pregnant women are among those murdered in a tribal massacre in Papua New Guinea's Highlands area.

At least 24 people are confirmed to have died in a brutal flare-up of violence between rival tribes over several days in Hela province. Some reports put the death toll higher.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-48932361

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8 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

Humans are tribal animals because of millions of years of evolution and as a consequence are wary of anybody who is different.

Throughout the great majority of that time that wariness kept you alive, wander naive and trusting into a rival village and you die, so it is a hard-wired feature of our natures.

 

And we are not talking about the distant past here; only this week:

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-48932361

If it was human nature then surely everyone would be homophobic.

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1 minute ago, RedDave said:

If it was human nature then surely everyone would be homophobic.

I think pretty much everyone starts homophobic. 

If you encounter through your life decent people who just happen to be gay then you become increasingly less so as time goes on.

These days, in common with most people on this thread, it really isn't an issue for me.  It wouldn't affect who I recruited or with whom I socialised.

I certainly did not however think that way when I was eighteen.

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6 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

I think pretty much everyone starts homophobic. 

If you encounter through your life decent people who just happen to be gay then you become increasingly less so as time goes on.

These days, in common with most people on this thread, it really isn't an issue for me.  It wouldn't affect who I recruited or with whom I socialised.

I certainly did not however think that way when I was eighteen.

You can be brought up to be homophobic but you certainly don’t start that way.

Homophobia is a learned behaviour - if you’re exposed to it at a young age it’s bound to influence you.

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36 minutes ago, RedDave said:

The goal is for complete acceptance. That has to be the ultimate goal 

I don't think there will ever be complete acceptance Dave mate due to the nature of football supporters. Generally speaking, there will always be a group in any stadium who use such things to wind up the opposition.

Examples I've seen down the Gate include homophobic taunts to Brighton & saying various northern team's cities/towns smell like curry. Our own players even have chants directed to the size of their manhoods based purely on racial grounds (e.g. Enoch Showumni tying a certain something around his leg).

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9 minutes ago, BRISTOL86 said:

You can be brought up to be homophobic but you certainly don’t start that way.

Homophobia is a learned behaviour - if you’re exposed to it at a young age it’s bound to influence you.

 

9 minutes ago, BS2 Red said:

They really don't.  Homophobia is learned, kids don't start out hating/disliking/mistrusting gay people.

 

I disagree as we are genetically coded to be distrustful of difference; though this only becomes apparent when we attain an age at which we are no longer dependent and our survival is in our own hands.

Not specifically homosexuality but any difference.

Though I don't however see how you can prove it either way.

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7 minutes ago, BRISTOL86 said:

You can be brought up to be homophobic but you certainly don’t start that way.

Homophobia is a learned behaviour - if you’re exposed to it at a young age it’s bound to influence you.

From a scientific research perspective on this, they’re quite unsure on whether it’s learned or an instinctive behaviour based on evolutionary concerns that develops through mid-late childhood/early adulthood. 

Definitely being exposed to more overt homophobic behaviour will exasperate it either way. 

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6 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

 

 

I disagree as we are genetically coded to be distrustful of difference; though this only becomes apparent when we attain an age at which we are no longer dependent and our survival is in our own hands.

Not specifically homosexuality but any difference.

Though I don't however see how you can prove it either way.

I think there’s a big difference between a genetic instinct to be wary of differences from a survival standpoint and overt homophobia, which is very much learned behaviour. 

“I’m going to mix with other people as they’re not my sort and they may be a threat to me” is very different to “Look at those disgusting gay boys” - and I’m only talking about the latter. That’s very much something you learn, or choose, to do, not something you’re born with. 

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3 minutes ago, CyderInACan said:

Absolute bollocks imo. Homophobia is an irrational prejudice. No one is born prejudiced. 

I disagree as I think everyone is.

 

Just now, BRISTOL86 said:

I think there’s a big difference between a genetic instinct to be wary of differences from a survival standpoint and overt homophobia, which is very much learned behaviour. 

“I’m going to mix with other people as they’re not my sort and they may be a threat to me” is very different to “Look at those disgusting gay boys” - and I’m only talking about the latter. That’s very much something you learn, or choose, to do, not something you’re born with. 

 

Ah, ok.  If you are defining homophobia in those terms then absolutely.

I am very much saying that the first part of your sentence applies but not extending out beyond that:  “I’m [not] going to mix with other people as they’re not my sort and they may be a threat to me”

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2 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

I disagree as I think everyone is.

 

 

Ah, ok.  If you are defining homophobia in those terms then absolutely.

I am very much saying that the first part of your sentence applies but not extending out beyond that:  “I’m [not] going to mix with other people as they’re not my sort and they may be a threat to me”

Surely that then can apply to absolutely anything.

"I'm not going to mix with people with green eyes because I have blue eyes"

"I'm not going to mix with left handed people"

"I'm not going to mix with people who's height is different to mine".

 

I didn't have to learn not to be mistrustful of people with green eyes, and that's a trait you can actually see when looking at someone's face, whereas their sexuality would need to be told to you or some other indication 

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