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EnderMB

Coming out as homosexual in the Championship

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The good news regarding this thread is that it doesn't seem like there would be any OTIB objection to City having an 'out' player. Everyone seems pretty cool with it. Some people probably wouldn't like it to be overstated, some would want to champion it, but those are just little differences between people's outlook. So if O'Dowda and Brownhill's special friendship ever does blossom into something more romantic, they'll have our support. 

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1 hour ago, The Dolman Pragmatist said:

You think there haven’t been post goal kisses before? 

...... .. but with tongues? ! 

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On 13/07/2019 at 20:26, LondonBristolian said:

It isn’t telling people about your preferences though. I don’t think most gay people want to tell other people their sexuality but they do want to be able to talk about their lives. It’s not at all unusual for someone to come into work on a Monday and talk about where they went or what they did with their husband or wife over the weekend. It’s not all unusual for people to talk their friends about the boy or girl they have started dating.

If someone is gay, none of these things are people promoting their sexuality - just talking about their lives as anyone would. But it is hard to do that if you feel compelled to hide the gender of the person you are talking about.

Thanks for the positive response to my earlier comment. 

As LondonBristolian says we all meet new people all of the time and when you are gay you have to decide how open to be. Generally I am more likely to be open with women than men and have got quite good at talking about my partner indirectly without using “he”.

As I said before, I think the reason why we need to see some footballers come out is to break down stereotypes. A few years back I was at a birthday party and there were some big burly builders though so I was cautious around them. Then one of them mentioned that they were in fact a gay couple and we had a good old chat afterwards. They lived in the countryside and had dogs - so unlike the gay stereotype. I think they were involved with some group supporting LGBT people in construction.

A lot of stereotypes are hard to shake e.g people think of HIV and still think of the tombstone from the 80s. Actually it can’t be cured but with medication, people can now live a normal life and it has become a disease that can be managed like diabetes. Also around half of new diagnoses are now in straight people.

 

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On 09/07/2019 at 17:15, Bar BS3 said:

I’ve got to say that it’s slightly ironic that no doubt the FA etc will be fully behind this “coming out”. They will insist on people liberalising their views (rightly so) as they have done with the race campaigns of the past. Their backing of the LGBT 🏳️‍🌈 rainbow corner flags, suggests that should a man choose to attend a football match in a dress and stockings, it should be welcomed and “ignored” yet if you dare to sit in a part of the ground with the wrong colour football shirt on, then you will be ejected, possibly arrested & possibly banned from attending future matches..! 

 

So providing they don’t wear Leeds socks they should be ok? 

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On 09/07/2019 at 18:08, AppyDAZE said:

How dare you! I am a 1 in 10 you know, and very proud to be left-handed (actually left-handed btw) It is never  boring to point out fellow lefties when I see 'em.

We are a community, and a repressed community. ever tried to cut with scissors for the wrong hand? Or get a decent guitar in exactly the colour you want???

On the upside you lefties have a massive advantage in boxing !

apparently one of the only sports where it is a big advantage

 

having boxed myself I can attest to this

but if you don’t believe me, google it and see how many left handed world champs there have been.  A disproportionate amount when compared to the percentage of lefties in the population   

 

 

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On 10/07/2019 at 01:46, ZiderEyed said:

Have you seen the Millwall forums?

No

 

i had assumed that their lack of cognitive thought would mean they didn’t need a forum 🤔🧐

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On 09/07/2019 at 13:45, Ska Junkie said:

I really don't get the 'big deal' here TBH. I go to football to watch the football, not worry about the sexuality of individuals.

While I wish the 'gay footballer' well, I genuinely couldn't give a monkeys.

I apologise if that's not PC but why the pullava?  He's gay, right, let's get on with the football. 

Exactly this..... I'm sure me like most grew up in what ever chosen section of the ground and for me it was the Eastend and seem to remember 1 chat that would of been frowned upon today and I'm sure most on here took part in it at some stage of their city life so how times have changed. 

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On 15/07/2019 at 17:13, soultrader said:

On the upside you lefties have a massive advantage in boxing !

apparently one of the only sports where it is a big advantage

 

having boxed myself I can attest to this

but if you don’t believe me, google it and see how many left handed world champs there have been.  A disproportionate amount when compared to the percentage of lefties in the population   

 

 

Lefties can cause particular problems for an opposing team in cricket too.

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Didn't want to revive this thread, but we now know that he'll be coming out on the 24th, so prepare for it to be all over the news.

Edited by EnderMB
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On 15/07/2019 at 19:49, soultrader said:

No

 

i had assumed that their lack of cognitive thought would mean they didn’t need a forum 🤔🧐

Don't knock it: it's the source of the greatest football form thread ever, bar none. 

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On 22/07/2019 at 12:26, Gary Nanes said:

24th July, the date the person behind the account reveals he was taking the piss and has had everyone's pants down.

At least @SX227 won’t have to worry he’s doing it for financial gain in that case.

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9 hours ago, Robin1988 said:

At least @SX227 won’t have to worry he’s doing it for financial gain in that case.

Wow, all that sand in your vagina is causing quite the itch isn't it?

Just because I called you out - twattish PM's and now this garbage.

I assume 1988 refers to your birthdate - the unoriginality of it just adds to the fact that you are simply a very silly little boy, who at 31 should have grown out of temper tantrums by now.

 

For those who don't know, this manchild accused me of being essentially homophobic as I couldn't possibly have a clue about gay men, only to frantically backpeddle when I pointed him to the bit where  I posted about my youngest being gay.

So over a week later, with half of Weymouth beach up his front passage, he felt the need to revisit the issue.

I have no idea why. 

Still, you have got it off your chest, so I hope you feel better.

Go find a gay bloke, give him a hug and tell him how proud of him you are.  I'm sure he will be moved to tears by your amazing act of anti-homophobia.

You are my hero. I wish I could give you a cuddle.

 

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41 minutes ago, Tinmans Love Child said:

This is definitely a prank I think, shame cause it’s turned something important into a bit of a joke

We’ll never know for sure whether this was a prank or not. It’s certainly very possible it was but it is also not impossible this was a genuine account and the person lost their nerve at the last moment.

Either way, I actually wonder if some good could come out of it. It may have got other gay footballers thinking and I would not be shocked if at least one footballer finally comes out before the end of this season.

Edited by LondonBristolian

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If this is a hoax, it’s pretty disgusting as it’s an important moment which is so important for an underrepresented part of society/sport. At the time of the announcement a number if credible media sources were reporting that it’s definitely genuine. It’s also poor on their part to mislead the public. 

If it is genuine (which I am sceptical) it shows how badly the ‘player’ has handled the whole situation and he can’t deal with the media circus he created. 

Edit: I have no idea what is going on with my font size as if there’s some subliminal messaging ingrained within my post.

 

Edited by Coppello
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This news has really pissed me off.

If this is fake, then whoever is behind this account has probably put football society back another decade. Whether you like it or not, it is a big deal, especially for those that wish to be involved in the game and don't wish to hide who they are to the fans or their team mates. They might have thought that making a fake account to raise the subject in the public eye would've been good, but it's done the exact opposite by painting people in the LGBTQ+ community as attention seekers.

If it's true, then again, by going back into hiding the subject has been held back once again. I would've assumed that someone making such a big deal out of this would have put assurances in to whoever he leaked the information to (Jim White being the most notable) that a reveal was already in motion. The person behind the account also made a number of assurances to others that they would be involved in this story, so I wonder whether he'll be reaching out to those people to say sorry.

Either way, this news is damaging to equality in football.

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39 minutes ago, EnderMB said:

This news has really pissed me off.

If this is fake, then whoever is behind this account has probably put football society back another decade. Whether you like it or not, it is a big deal, especially for those that wish to be involved in the game and don't wish to hide who they are to the fans or their team mates. They might have thought that making a fake account to raise the subject in the public eye would've been good, but it's done the exact opposite by painting people in the LGBTQ+ community as attention seekers.

If it's true, then again, by going back into hiding the subject has been held back once again. I would've assumed that someone making such a big deal out of this would have put assurances in to whoever he leaked the information to (Jim White being the most notable) that a reveal was already in motion. The person behind the account also made a number of assurances to others that they would be involved in this story, so I wonder whether he'll be reaching out to those people to say sorry.

Either way, this news is damaging to equality in football.

I think all the new 'gender identities' that keep cropping up are already painting people in the LGBTQ+ as attention seekers. I know several people in that community who aren't happy about it. 

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6 hours ago, SX227 said:

Wow, all that sand in your vagina is causing quite the itch isn't it?

Just because I called you out - twattish PM's and now this garbage.

I assume 1988 refers to your birthdate - the unoriginality of it just adds to the fact that you are simply a very silly little boy, who at 31 should have grown out of temper tantrums by now.

 

For those who don't know, this manchild accused me of being essentially homophobic as I couldn't possibly have a clue about gay men, only to frantically backpeddle when I pointed him to the bit where  I posted about my youngest being gay.

So over a week later, with half of Weymouth beach up his front passage, he felt the need to revisit the issue.

I have no idea why. 

Still, you have got it off your chest, so I hope you feel better.

Go find a gay bloke, give him a hug and tell him how proud of him you are.  I'm sure he will be moved to tears by your amazing act of anti-homophobia.

You are my hero. I wish I could give you a cuddle.

 

No one back-peddled mate - you misread my post/PM quite badly if you thought “I’m even more amazed you’re so dismissive of casual homophobia considering you have a gay son” was doing that.

By the way, it’s great that he had such an easy coming out, but it may surprise you to know that not everyone has such an open, supportive family (even if you do hide it well) and network around them, as well as the general public. Especially anyone “in the closet” as a public figure in Britain in 2019.

The irony of being called a “man child” who has “sand in his vagina” amid a long angry ramble doesn’t even need dignifying.

It’s a crying shame if the Gay Footballer is fake, it could have been a real force for good just getting someone out there who’s proud to be known and, unfortunately, happy to take the stick (both ‘financial motivation’ and from the stands) which would come with it.

It’d make life so much easier for whoever comes next, but if it turns out to be bollocks imagine the added scepticism there will be for any genuine player considering doing it in the same ways. Hope they can throw the book at him/her.

Edited by Robin1988

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8 minutes ago, AshtonGreat said:

I think all the new 'gender identities' that keep cropping up are already painting people in the LGBTQ+ as attention seekers. I know several people in that community who aren't happy about it. 

It could be that gender is actually a spectrum of hundreds of variances and we all land on a different place on that spectrum.

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2 minutes ago, mozo said:

It could be that gender is actually a spectrum of hundreds of variances and we all land on a different place on that spectrum.

Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you need a flag if you're asexual or 'panromantic' 

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2 minutes ago, AshtonGreat said:

Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you need a flag if you're asexual or 'panromantic' 

It does seem odd but I think its a very human thing to do. We label people, categorise people, form tribes, defend our own groups over others. Bloody humans.

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1 hour ago, EnderMB said:

This news has really pissed me off.

If this is fake, then whoever is behind this account has probably put football society back another decade. Whether you like it or not, it is a big deal, especially for those that wish to be involved in the game and don't wish to hide who they are to the fans or their team mates. They might have thought that making a fake account to raise the subject in the public eye would've been good, but it's done the exact opposite by painting people in the LGBTQ+ community as attention seekers.

If it's true, then again, by going back into hiding the subject has been held back once again. I would've assumed that someone making such a big deal out of this would have put assurances in to whoever he leaked the information to (Jim White being the most notable) that a reveal was already in motion. The person behind the account also made a number of assurances to others that they would be involved in this story, so I wonder whether he'll be reaching out to those people to say sorry.

Either way, this news is damaging to equality in football.

Completely agree with the above.

But Jim White and Gary Lineker have both claimed to have spoke to the footballer concerned, surely it has to be real?

The last tweet was basically saying that they couldn't go through with it

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19 minutes ago, phantom said:

Completely agree with the above.

But Jim White and Gary Lineker have both claimed to have spoke to the footballer concerned, surely it has to be real?

The last tweet was basically saying that they couldn't go through with it

It was a big error of judgement from the player then, to go big, then duck out.

Maybe this won't be the end of it...

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27 minutes ago, phantom said:

Completely agree with the above.

But Jim White and Gary Lineker have both claimed to have spoke to the footballer concerned, surely it has to be real?

The last tweet was basically saying that they couldn't go through with it

Not if they spoke to him through the twitter account, could've still been a randomer. 

Wouldn't surprise me if this was just some experiment to get people talking and see how people would react. 

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28 minutes ago, phantom said:

Completely agree with the above.

But Jim White and Gary Lineker have both claimed to have spoke to the footballer concerned, surely it has to be real?

The last tweet was basically saying that they couldn't go through with it

Jim White made a **** of himself tweeting the ‘Gay Footballer’ (I think you will find he never spoke to him) desperate to get the exclusive interview

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27 minutes ago, mozo said:

It was a big error of judgement from the player then, to go big, then duck out.

Maybe this won't be the end of it...

It seemed a silly way to go about it; if you want to draw vast media attention to yourself then that's what you would do.

A local radio presenter has "come out" as gay, previously had a girlfriend, but has never made a big deal of it or even openly said it on the radio AFAIK and it's not referred to.  He has a public social media account which shows pictures of him and his partner on holiday.

Now I accept that the Championship is not local radio but that sort of "so what, it's not an issue" approach is surely going to be better than this "big announcement coming" tack which is only going to stoke media interest.

If one of our players did the same with no big announcement but just allowed people to pick up that their media stream was mainly pictures of him and the same bloke all the time and his response was "so what, it's not an issue" then I don't think it would be much of one.

I know it isn't an issue for OTIB, as per this thread, but I don't think anyone expected it to be so anyway.  This is a polite place.

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27 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

It seemed a silly way to go about it; if you want to draw vast media attention to yourself then that's what you would do.

A local radio presenter has "come out" as gay, previously had a girlfriend, but has never made a big deal of it or even openly said it on the radio AFAIK and it's not referred to.  He has a public social media account which shows pictures of him and his partner on holiday.

Now I accept that the Championship is not local radio but that sort of "so what, it's not an issue" approach is surely going to be better than this "big announcement coming" tack which is only going to stoke media interest.

If one of our players did the same with no big announcement but just allowed people to pick up that their media stream was mainly pictures of him and the same bloke all the time and his response was "so what, it's not an issue" then I don't think it would be much of one.

I know it isn't an issue for OTIB, as per this thread, but I don't think anyone expected it to be so anyway.  This is a polite place.

The approach chosen depends on the outcome you're trying to acheive.

The radio chap was presumably looking to acheive minimal impact. The player was looking for maximum impact, for the reasons debated in this thrrad.

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29 minutes ago, Eddie Hitler said:

It seemed a silly way to go about it; if you want to draw vast media attention to yourself then that's what you would do.

A local radio presenter has "come out" as gay, previously had a girlfriend, but has never made a big deal of it or even openly said it on the radio AFAIK and it's not referred to.  He has a public social media account which shows pictures of him and his partner on holiday.

Now I accept that the Championship is not local radio but that sort of "so what, it's not an issue" approach is surely going to be better than this "big announcement coming" tack which is only going to stoke media interest.

If one of our players did the same with no big announcement but just allowed people to pick up that their media stream was mainly pictures of him and the same bloke all the time and his response was "so what, it's not an issue" then I don't think it would be much of one.

I know it isn't an issue for OTIB, as per this thread, but I don't think anyone expected it to be so anyway.  This is a polite place.

I do sort of agree. I think everyone has to do these things their own way but I would quite like it if, when a player does come out, it’s more of a passing reference to celebrating with his boyfriend in a post-match interview rather than a massive press conference. But any player has to decide what is right for them.

If the Twitter account is genuine then the scale and complexity of the handling of the announcement seems to be what has put the player off.

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5 minutes ago, LondonBristolian said:

I do sort of agree. I think everyone has to do these things their own way but I would quite like it if, when a player does come out, it’s more of a passing reference to celebrating with his boyfriend in a post-match interview rather than a massive press conference. But any player has to decide what is right for them.

If the Twitter account is genuine then the scale and complexity of the handling of the announcement seems to be what has put the player off.

We'll all have our preferences, but ultimately they're their own people and have to do it their way.

This was evidently a failed attempt at a taboo-smashing PR stunt.

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Obviously it was a hoax. Attention seeking for the gay community or it was bait hoping that another player would come out first. if a player came out he wouldn't get any abuse nowadays so they shouldn't have any worries. Once one comes out then more will. 

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If this is real then the guy has probably put the community in a worse place than where'd it was before creating that account unfortunately. 

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2 minutes ago, paul_fox said:

Obviously it was a hoax. Attention seeking for the gay community or it was bait hoping that another player would come out first. if a player came out he wouldn't get any abuse nowadays so they shouldn't have any worries. Once one comes out then more will. 

"Attention seeking for the gay community"?

I'm not gay, but I suspect that most in the gay community would appreciate a little less attention most of the time...

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19 minutes ago, chipdawg said:

"Attention seeking for the gay community"?

I'm not gay, but I suspect that most in the gay community would appreciate a little less attention most of the time...

Maybe i worded it wrong. But yeah I know a lot of the gay community don't like the attention etc. Possibly a pr stunt by a group or media to get others to come out as they'd be all over it whilst most fans wouldn't really care  

Edited by paul_fox

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49 minutes ago, paul_fox said:

Obviously it was a hoax. Attention seeking for the gay community or it was bait hoping that another player would come out first. if a player came out he wouldn't get any abuse nowadays so they shouldn't have any worries. Once one comes out then more will. 

They would get abuse. Racial abuse is vastly on the increase.  A gay footballer would get even more. 

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So now the obvious wind up has been put on ice, can OTIB members now stop competing to show how cool they are with the world of LGBTQIAPK+ ...?

The number of posts on here from people just itching to show how open minded they are just makes me cringe

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10 minutes ago, RedDave said:

They would get abuse. Racial abuse is vastly on the increase.  

Is it ?

 

Edited by BobBobSuperBob

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1 minute ago, BobBobSuperBob said:

Try .......it’s now reported more and recorded in finite detail in a million places

 

 

 

It’s reported more as it happens more. Brexit has given license to it. 

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1 minute ago, JBFC II said:

In fairness I suspect some of that is more people reporting. I have no evidence to back up this hunch, and it won't account for the full 43% for sure but it's possibly a factor

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7 minutes ago, Lucan said:

So now the obvious wind up has been put on ice, can OTIB members now stop competing to show how cool they are with the world of LGBTQIAPK+ ...?

The number of posts on here from people just itching to show how open minded they are just makes me cringe

I cringe at your closed mindedness! 

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Just now, BobBobSuperBob said:

Try .......it’s now reported more and recorded in finite detail in a million places

 

 

 

Maybe you’re right.

The fact that there were still 274 reported incidents last season is still shocking.

I also heavily doubt reporting of racist abuse has risen so much over the last year, it does seem that it’s becoming a problem again, although only in minorities 

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Just now, BobBobSuperBob said:

Try .......it’s now reported more and recorded in finite detail in a million places

 

 

 

I hope it's not on the rise, and that people are more willing to report it. I also hope it's recorded. Im not sure what you mean by a million places though?

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