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Coming out as homosexual in the Championship


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3 minutes ago, Bar BS3 said:

Of course it happens..! 

You know for a fact that every youth coach is straight..?

The laws of probability suggest you’d be wrong. The chances are you would know & you certainly shouldn’t care..! 

Name one? Which club?

You almost certainly will not be able to.

All I was demonstrating was how difficult the topic of sexuality is.

 

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2 minutes ago, Cowshed said:

Name one? Which club?

You almost certainly will not be able to.

All I was demonstrating was how difficult the topic of sexuality is.

 

What do you mean? My son is at a club with 12 coaches across all age groups. I don’t know how many of them are gay. Why would I?

Do you think all gay people are camp or something?

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3 minutes ago, RedDave said:

You think gay men don’t coach kids? Bit confused by your post

I was asking a question.

There are FA safeguarding measures for clubs and kids to make this a possibility but nobody has answered the question of who and where … Some desperate googling might provide an answer somewhere but it highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open.

 

 

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Please explicate on the 'problematic nature' of coming out? 

Do you mean, as is the whole point of this topic, that those within the industry have failed to come out as gay due to the potential hostile reaction?

Or, are you suggesting there is a problem with gay people working with children?

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2 minutes ago, Cowshed said:

I was asking a question.

There are FA safeguarding measures for clubs and kids to make this a possibility but nobody has answered the question of who and where … Some desperate googling might provide an answer somewhere but it highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open.

I'm struggling to find anything in your posts that "highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open"

You seem to be implying that gay men are somehow more of a risk to children than heterosexual men? What an utterly bizarre (and offensive) point of view. 

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5 minutes ago, Cowshed said:

I was asking a question.

There are FA safeguarding measures for clubs and kids to make this a possibility but nobody has answered the question of who and where … Some desperate googling might provide an answer somewhere but it highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open.

 

 

Please explicate on the 'problematic nature' of coming out? 

Do you mean, as is the whole point of this topic, that those within the industry have failed to come out as gay due to the potential hostile reaction?

Or, are you suggesting there is a problem with gay people working with children?

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In 1996 the Journal of Abnormal Psychology (Vol. 105) published a study entitled: Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal? The conclusion of the study stated:

The results of this study indicate that individuals who score in the homophobic range and admit negative affect toward homosexuality demonstrate significant arousal to male homosexual erotic stimuli.

So, in other words, men getting excited and vocal and shouting "poof" etc at the away end when their team play Brighton are coping with their anxiety about having some (mostly subconscious) "arousal to male erotica stimuli" tendencies with text book over-compensating homophobic chanting/behaviour: "look at me! I'm so heterosexual! I'm not in any way a tiny bit a poof! I love birds, me! I do!! Say I don't and I'll smash yer face in, you poof!"

Of course, any of those lads involved in that type of behaviour reading this now will experience more anxiety, and thus the need to reduce said anxiety. With predictable results. And so: we go on.

It's all about anxiety, chaps, anxiety and fear, and how we deal with this. And how we feel about ourselves, and how we think others think/feel about us. Young males struggle with this especially. 

Red Army! 

 

 

 

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3 minutes ago, RedDave said:

What do you mean? My son is at a club with 12 coaches across all age groups. I don’t know how many of them are gay. Why would I?

Do you think all gay people are camp or something?

It was a question about openly sexuality. Parents will know all sorts about coaches. That is normal. I have been in football for thirty years and yes like players I have seen a few camp coaches … But openly gay coaches  in kids football? In adults football only in one club that was by its nature supporting players by being a gay football team. 

I wouldn't out junior clubs but at some clubs the parents would react with shall we say difficulty if they were told their kids coach was gay … That is a reality. 

  

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11 minutes ago, Cowshed said:

I was asking a question.

There are FA safeguarding measures for clubs and kids to make this a possibility but nobody has answered the question of who and where … Some desperate googling might provide an answer somewhere but it highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open.

 

 

I think you are perhaps confusing being gay with child abusers and paedophiles. You do know the two are in no way connected don’t you?

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11 minutes ago, Cowshed said:

I was asking a question.

There are FA safeguarding measures for clubs and kids to make this a possibility but nobody has answered the question of who and where … Some desperate googling might provide an answer somewhere but it highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open.

 

 

Answer my question.  How would I know if my sons coaches are gay?

 

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2 minutes ago, Cowshed said:

It was a question about openly sexuality. Parents will know all sorts about coaches. That is normal. I have been in football for thirty years and yes like players I have seen a few camp coaches … But openly gay coaches  in kids football? In adults football only in one club that was by its nature supporting players by being a gay football team. 

I wouldn't out junior clubs but at some clubs the parents would react with shall we say difficulty if they were told their kids coach was gay … That is a reality. 

  

Coaches don’t introduce themselves by announcing their name and their sexual preference.  The fact that you seem to be the only person who knows what on Earth you are talking about says a lot. 

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3 hours ago, Bar BS3 said:

It’s great to hear that your son has had no real problems in openly being who he is. 

I think I, and others, can be as “accepting” as we like, but only people in your families situation (and a previous poster above) can really shed light on what society are really like towards them. 

Out of interest... do you feel that this footballer is going about this the right way..? I’m genuinely interested in your take on it and will base my opinions of it on what you and others who have experienced it first hand, think. 

I wouldn't comment on this mans motives as I don't know him.

 

All I can relate to you is that when Matthew came out, he just said it.

No, 'sit down' or 'you may want to chill' - he just said it.

 

I do think this footballer has gone about this in a way that probably has attracted more attention than just telling his team-mates and getting on with playing next season.

News will filter out.

It always does - he can then deal with it as he sees fit.

 

By using an almost 'cloak and dagger' 007 approach, it seems a bit, well, staged.

And unfortunately that will raise suspicion about the motivation or veracity of the person concerned - which really will make this non-story BECOME a story.

 

I think he would have been best served either doing the above, (telling team-mates and getting on with life) or just calling a press conference (if he really thought it would be that important for him to do so) and simply come out.

My biggest fear is that this is a hoax or it really does turn out to be for financial motivation, as that would be a huge blow to the acceptance of gay male sportspeople in the UK.

 

I dunno if that helps?

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, elhombrecito said:

I'm struggling to find anything in your posts that "highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open"

You seem to be implying that gay men are somehow more of a risk to children than heterosexual men? What an utterly bizarre (and offensive) point of view. 

No I have not implied that anywhere.

What people are not  answering is simple.  

Why are there no (?) openly gay coaches? The answer is societies prejudice and the conservative nature of football.

Do you think a gay man coaching kids would be more at risk of complaints from parents? If you  answer yes it may feel offensive but it is not bizarre.

 

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1 minute ago, Cowshed said:

No I have not implied that anywhere.

What people are not  answering is simple.  

Why are there no (?) openly gay coaches? The answer is societies prejudice and the conservative nature of football.

Do you think a gay man coaching kids would be more at risk of complaints from parents? If you  answer yes it may feel offensive but it is not bizarre.

 

I think you are misunderstanding what openly gay means.  It doesn’t mean telling everyone you meet that you are gay. 

My sons coach might be openly gay but it hasn’t come up in conversation! 

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So without having to read through half a dozen pages of ill informed argument on social theory in relation to homosexuality...

 

Can somebody tell me if we know who is coming out yet?

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Just now, Lucan said:

So without having to read through half a dozen pages of ill informed argument on social theory in relation to homosexuality...

 

Can somebody tell me if we know who is coming out yet?

I'll be out at about half 4 for a beer if you're game?

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9 minutes ago, Lucan said:

So without having to read through half a dozen pages of ill informed argument on social theory in relation to homosexuality...

 

Can somebody tell me if we know who is coming out yet?

I think the whole point is , nobody actually cares

Well, ........having said that there are a few on the forum who can at least satisfy their desire and getting on their platform to educate us ignorant mortals  , lucky humanity has them to lead us forward and save us from the devil

:thumbsup:

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1 hour ago, Cowshed said:

but at some clubs the parents would react with shall we say difficulty if they were told their kids coach was gay … That is a reality. 

  

"the parents", by that you mean "some parents" and those parents should be ignored as the bigoted fools that they are.

I have a 3 year old son.  I couldn't care less if the staff at his nursery are gay and I am not going to care if his teachers and coaches in future are gay.

I'd far far far prefer gay people teaching my child to stoneage bigots teaching him.

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If the player concerned had decided to just live his life openly, it would only be a matter of weeks before the scum element of our press were all over it, with "exclusive" photos of him and his partner.  At least this way, he has more control as to how it is introduced to the public arena.

Even in these enlightened times, I think that he is being very brave to put his head above the parapet.  Unfortunately, certain groups of people always seize on what they perceive to be a person's "weakness" and use it to taunt them - no more so than when at a football match, surrounded by their like minded mates.  I hope that, as now happens with racism, they are identified by other fans and swiftly dealt with by the authorities. 

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1 hour ago, elhombrecito said:

I'm struggling to find anything in your posts that "highlights the problematic nature of sexuality being in the open"

You seem to be implying that gay men are somehow more of a risk to children than heterosexual men? What an utterly bizarre (and offensive) point of view. 

I'm glad you said that, as that's how I read it. A absolutely disgusting and shocking view.  Absolute neanderthal thinking @Cowshed

Edited by Badger08
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1 hour ago, BTRFTG said:

From what I was told I don't believe this applied in Clough's case. What he did take exception to was timing and dress code, including for training, which I'm told Justin had difficulty in adopting. Nothing to do with sexuality and if Lloyd and Burns were obliged to don blazer and tie (which they hated but realised the rewards such team compromise brought,) then why not Justin?

So the famous "poofs' club" story is made up?

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1 hour ago, Cowshed said:

Name one? Which club?

You almost certainly will not be able to.

All I was demonstrating was how difficult the topic of sexuality is.

 

Obviously I don’t know who’s gay and who’s straight. That doesn’t mean that none of them are gay..!

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1 hour ago, SX227 said:

I wouldn't comment on this mans motives as I don't know him.

 

All I can relate to you is that when Matthew came out, he just said it.

No, 'sit down' or 'you may want to chill' - he just said it.

 

I do think this footballer has gone about this in a way that probably has attracted more attention than just telling his team-mates and getting on with playing next season.

News will filter out.

It always does - he can then deal with it as he sees fit.

 

By using an almost 'cloak and dagger' 007 approach, it seems a bit, well, staged.

And unfortunately that will raise suspicion about the motivation or veracity of the person concerned - which really will make this non-story BECOME a story.

 

I think he would have been best served either doing the above, (telling team-mates and getting on with life) or just calling a press conference (if he really thought it would be that important for him to do so) and simply come out.

My biggest fear is that this is a hoax or it really does turn out to be for financial motivation, as that would be a huge blow to the acceptance of gay male sportspeople in the UK.

 

I dunno if that helps?

 

 

 

That’s a more eloquently put version of what I was trying to say at the start of this thread. 

I don’t see the benefit of the way he’s going about it. Just come out and say it, if indeed he really feels the need too. 

 

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