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Stupid football idea(s)


mozo

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7 hours ago, ChippenhamRed said:

I’ve often wondered how the game would look without offside.

Would teams station a striker permanently on the edge of the penalty area? Would both defences presumably be forced to defend very deep, creating huge space in the middle of the park for midfielders to roam? Would the game actually work without offside?

It would be an interesting experiment just to see what an offside-free game looked like.

I saw a game in a kids tournament about u9s or 10s I'd guess, small pitches , no offsides, where a team had a keeper who could kick the call the length of the pitch. Their tactic was to stand their biggest player next to our short keeper and aim every goal kick(which were all out of the keepers hands) to the big lad. Their manager defended his tactics with 'My job is to get results mate'

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8 hours ago, ChippenhamRed said:

I’ve often wondered how the game would look without offside.

Would teams station a striker permanently on the edge of the penalty area? Would both defences presumably be forced to defend very deep, creating huge space in the middle of the park for midfielders to roam? Would the game actually work without offside?

It would be an interesting experiment just to see what an offside-free game looked like.

 

1 hour ago, Miah Dennehy said:

I saw a game in a kids tournament about u9s or 10s I'd guess, small pitches , no offsides, where a team had a keeper who could kick the call the length of the pitch. Their tactic was to stand their biggest player next to our short keeper and aim every goal kick(which were all out of the keepers hands) to the big lad. Their manager defended his tactics with 'My job is to get results mate'

This was actually introduced into the old Football Alliance League (Conference) in the late 80s....But it was only from free-kicks.

 One of the teams, Lincoln I think, had a beanpole striker, who just stood in front of the keeper from every set piece.  They got promoted.  Rule was scrapped.

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6G pitches that are super intelligent and can indicate immediately if a player is offside, doing away with VAR. Also will be able to know if a player is feigning injury and if he is can administer an electric shock through the pitch to the precise point where the guilty party is, the strength of the shock being determined by how much the player had exaggerated their affliction.

When free kicks are awarded the pitch will indicate the precise blade of grass from which it should be taken and create a ten yard electrified buffer zone which electrocutes any opposing players who encroach before the kick is taken. 

If a player goes down genuinely injured the pitch isolates him by a subterranean cubicle suddenly emerging from under the player, allowing play to continue while he receives treatment.  Inside the cubicle will be an emergency medical team complete with all the latest medical lifesaving equipment, monitors, drips, blood transfusion stuff etc., etc. This will be a massive upgrade on the magic sponge.

The pitch can also change colour so that if a team is playing in green or a bluish green and blending in with the grass too much, the pitch will change to a light orange colour. Indeed, the pitch will be so intelligent it will figure out the best colour to be within seconds of the kick-off having studied all the kits on view as well as background colours to ascertain the most outstanding canvas it can provide.

If a player is taking a free-kick he can pick up a blade of grass and instead of letting it go to see what direction any wind is blowing, he Dan just ask the grass and receive an answer as well as getting answers on how far away from goal they are and whether it's best to go for goal or play it into the box etc.

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11 hours ago, ChippenhamRed said:

I’ve often wondered how the game would look without offside.

Would teams station a striker permanently on the edge of the penalty area? Would both defences presumably be forced to defend very deep, creating huge space in the middle of the park for midfielders to roam? Would the game actually work without offside?

It would be an interesting experiment just to see what an offside-free game looked like.

Tried a few years ago in Non League, and was worse than offside, with goal hanging and standing in front of keeper at free kicks

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1 hour ago, LilRascal said:

Instead of two half with just one 15 minute break, four quarters and three 15 minute breaks to allow for more advertising on TV and majorettes on the pitch. Donald Trump to referee. 

"Special teams" to come on for free kicks and corners, and Diana Ross to come on to take penalties!

6 minutes ago, handsofclay said:

When a player scores and removes his shirt to celebrate he will escape a yellow card if he is wearing a clean vest underneath.

and has no tattoos.

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If a substitution is made in the last minute of injury time in the 2nd half, the oncoming substitute has to do something to entertain the crowd at the end of the match to justify his very late addition to the game. Maybe a few card tricks, sawing a woman in half, belting out a few numbers, doing a stand up routine etc, etc. If at the conclusion of his act he doesn't obtain a very decent level of applause, then the club are reported to the FA/EFL and lose the opportunity to use substitutes in injury time for the next 50 matches.

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