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BobBobSuperBob

Joe Bryan & ‘Battles’

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1 minute ago, marcofisher said:

Regardless of what people think of him on the pitch, has always come across as a very good human being. 

Think it’s really admirable that some players have been brave enough to go public , to help others

When the easier thing to do , would be to simply keep quiet about their own situation , and leave it for others to go public

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Has he explained what his issues are exactly?

always seemed a nice lad when he was with us, although I was gutted to see him leave I’ll always wish the best for him

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Very refreshing that people can talk about mental health more freely and openly now.

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Whatever the issue are, opening and sharing with to someone else, whether it’s a professional or a close friend can be very beneficial. It helps you realise that you’re not alone - ’talking therapy’ really does work.

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14 minutes ago, Robbored said:

Whatever the issue are, opening and sharing with to someone else, whether it’s a professional or a close friend can be very beneficial. It helps you realise that you’re not alone - ’talking therapy’ really does work.

Yes, talking therapy is v useful and I would also really recommend looking into somatic therapy for v deep issues. They’re only just realising how much the psychology lives in the body (ie pre verbal). 

Edited by RedSA
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Absolutley you must let it out and talk. From my own experiences, letting it out and being open about it does help but one thing i have noticed is that as a society in general we don't understand mental health and find it difficult to discuss or offer any meaningful  support or empathy to the individual opening up (professional help aside).

Walk into a room with a broken leg and you will get no end of sympathy and offers of help. Walk in with a crippling mental state and even if it's announced, the understanding is just not there. People don't know what to do.

We should better educate our society to what it is, what it does to people and how to help.

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9 hours ago, BobBobSuperBob said:

Just noticed this

Massive respect to him for opening up in public domain 

 

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I'm not that surprised to read this. I always had a sense he was a bit more vulnerable (for want of a better word) than your average footballer. He seemed to take criticism to heart and was probably genuinely affected by it. He's clearly much more intelligent than the average player, so may over-analyse and overthink things as a result. 

I always have admired his self awareness - he is well aware that he's in an incredibly fortunate position and has always made sure he's given back. He was a great ambassador for CHSW when he was here and I also remember this great story

I really respect him opening up - difficult thing to do for a young man with his life in the public domain. 

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12 minutes ago, Gazred said:

Absolutley you must let it out and talk. From my own experiences, letting it out and being open about it does help but one thing i have noticed is that as a society in general we don't understand mental health and find it difficult to discuss or offer any meaningful  support or empathy to the individual opening up (professional help aside).

Walk into a room with a broken leg and you will get no end of sympathy and offers of help. Walk in with a crippling mental state and even if it's announced, the understanding is just not there. People don't know what to do.

We should better educate our society to what it is, what it does to people and how to help.

The difference is if you have a broken leg it doesn’t trigger/mirror hidden broken bones in your body. 

If someone opens up emotionally it can be difficult to ‘hold’ as it can trigger/mirror conscious or unconscious issues in your own psyche which bypass the rational element of the brain (neocortex)  

Education is important but until people still dealing with their own shadows and examining their own subconscious it will always be difficult for people to truly ‘hear’ others pain. 

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2 minutes ago, Phileas Fogg said:

I'm not that surprised to read this. I always had a sense he was a bit more vulnerable (for want of a better word) than your average footballer. He seemed to take criticism to heart and was probably genuinely affected by it. He's clearly much more intelligent than the average player, so may over-analyse and overthink things as a result. 

I always have admired his self awareness - he is well aware that he's in an incredibly fortunate position and has always made sure he's given back. He was a great ambassador for CHSW when he was here and I also remember this great story

I really respect him opening up - difficult thing to do for a young man with his life in the public domain. 

Agreed. Football must be a very harsh environment for the more sensitive people involved. 

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2 hours ago, Gazred said:

Absolutley you must let it out and talk.

I agree it helps a lot of people and it's a good thing that it is now more acceptable to talk about how your head is.

However, I can't agree that you must talk about it. This might go against the grain a bit but from personal experience it is not always absolutely necessary to let it out and talk.

Essentially however much you talk it's ultimately only you that can learn to control your own head. For some talking helps, but for others it's better to queitly work on their own mental strength without letting it all out. Since I learned to recognise the symptoms and to control them I've talked to friends, to my fiancee, and to others about the source of my troubles, my suicidal thoughts, and my issues with myself. At the time when I was suffering badly though? No way. I needed to do it myself.

I'm of the opinion that society must be wary not to create an atmosphere where people feel forced to talk if they don't feel comfortable doing so. Guilt can play a big role in male mental health and creating more of it could cause more harm.

It's a very fine line and if Joe Bryan and others find talking helps them then good, they should do it. But I just counsel some caution as it's not the silver bullet for everyone.

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I've always talked to myself. I have found through the years, that it helps me to resolve a lot of things that could worry me.

Although after my first wife ended her own life, I did a lot of talking to female friends and this was a real benefit to coming to terms with it. And deciding that while I was involved in her life, that I had very little responsibility for the way she ended it.

The male of the human species has long been seen as very macho and expected to deal with everything. But we aren't and we must share things to resolve them.

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17 minutes ago, ExiledAjax said:

I agree it helps a lot of people and it's a good thing that it is now more acceptable to talk about how your head is.

However, I can't agree that you must talk about it. This might go against the grain a bit but from personal experience it is not always absolutely necessary to let it out and talk.

Essentially however much you talk it's ultimately only you that can learn to control your own head. For some talking helps, but for others it's better to queitly work on their own mental strength without letting it all out. Since I learned to recognise the symptoms and to control them I've talked to friends, to my fiancee, and to others about the source of my troubles, my suicidal thoughts, and my issues with myself. At the time when I was suffering badly though? No way. I needed to do it myself.

I'm of the opinion that society must be wary not to create an atmosphere where people feel forced to talk if they don't feel comfortable doing so. Guilt can play a big role in male mental health and creating more of it could cause more harm.

It's a very fine line and if Joe Bryan and others find talking helps them then good, they should do it. But I just counsel some caution as it's not the silver bullet for everyone.

No, talking therapy isn’t for everyone. Some people simply feel unable to ‘open up’ and remain closed lipped. That said in 28 years as an addiction counsellor I can remember only two of my patients that fell into that category. Neither got sober........

Those that were able to open up often did well and greatly benefited from the shared experiences of others with the same condition. That’s how AA works - it’s basically  group therapy.

Nowadays there are many types of talking therapy. A pal of mine was diagnosed with prostrate cancer a couple of years ago and was advised by his GP to join the prostrate cancer group which he did. Months later ( him not being aware of my previous profession) came up to me, full of beans saying how wonderful  the group was and how it had helped him by listening tand talking with other guys with same diagnosis.

Talking therapy really does work for the vast majority who engage with it.

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4 hours ago, ExiledAjax said:

I agree it helps a lot of people and it's a good thing that it is now more acceptable to talk about how your head is.

However, I can't agree that you must talk about it. This might go against the grain a bit but from personal experience it is not always absolutely necessary to let it out and talk.

Essentially however much you talk it's ultimately only you that can learn to control your own head. For some talking helps, but for others it's better to queitly work on their own mental strength without letting it all out. Since I learned to recognise the symptoms and to control them I've talked to friends, to my fiancee, and to others about the source of my troubles, my suicidal thoughts, and my issues with myself. At the time when I was suffering badly though? No way. I needed to do it myself.

I'm of the opinion that society must be wary not to create an atmosphere where people feel forced to talk if they don't feel comfortable doing so. Guilt can play a big role in male mental health and creating more of it could cause more harm.

It's a very fine line and if Joe Bryan and others find talking helps them then good, they should do it. But I just counsel some caution as it's not the silver bullet for everyone.

This is how i feel when my girlfreind tells me to speak to a counciller or somone like that, i couldnt think of anything worse than telling a stranger about what thoughts i get, i understand that a pro maybe to help and understand why through my thought process but i struggle speaking to anyone apart from close freinds or family so dont think i would be able to go down the talking route, hopfully i can work things out for myself

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4 hours ago, Robbored said:

No, talking therapy isn’t for everyone. Some people simply feel unable to ‘open up’ and remain closed lipped. That said in 28 years as an addiction counsellor I can remember only two of my patients that fell into that category. Neither got sober........

Those that were able to open up often did well and greatly benefited from the shared experiences of others with the same condition. That’s how AA works - it’s basically  group therapy.

Nowadays there are many types of talking therapy. A pal of mine was diagnosed with prostrate cancer a couple of years ago and was advised by his GP to join the prostrate cancer group which he did. Months later ( him not being aware of my previous profession) came up to me, full of beans saying how wonderful  the group was and how it had helped him by listening tand talking with other guys with same diagnosis.

Talking therapy really does work for the vast majority who engage with it.

Fair play to you mate for the work you are doing to help others.

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I hope this thread puts everything in perspective amidst the hugely disproportionate response to the transfer window in some quarters.

Well done to Joe for opening up and thanks to those who have shared their feelings and thoughts here. You are all among friends.

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