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Are You Geoff Twentyman?


Boston Red

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Take the following quiz to find out.

 

1. After a career in lower league football, you are appointed a presenter on a local radio station. To develop your broadcasting style, do you

a) Speak lightly, naturally, easily, and fluently, to make for pleasant easy listening.

b). Growl out every syllable from the depths of your stomach. Speak painfully slowly. Shout out every word at the microphone full volume, so that your listeners feel as if they are being beaten around the head by a metal shovel.

 

2. You are placed in charge of Saturday Sport. Do you

a) Dynamically transform and improve the programme and use it as a springboard for your own career into national media, as Mark Lawrenson, Steve Scott, Angus Scott, and Rob Nothman did before you.

b) Show no ambition whatsoever and keep the programme exactly the same for the next twenty two years.

 

3. You have to do some interviews and go to the travel. Do you

a) Do the interviews and go to the travel.

b) Start talking about "my guest your guest" and "your roads", even though not a single one of your listeners owns either a guest or a road. 

 

4. It is time to cover City and Rovers. This is a two club city. City fans want Rovers to lose and Rovers fans want City to lose. Do you

a) Accept that different listeners will have different outcomes. Cover both clubs professionally and neutrally. Keep them on different frequencies as much as possible.

b) Enter into a bizarre fantasy mythical world where all listeners want Rovers AND City to win, thereby infuriating, patronising, and exasperating all of your listeners all at the same time. 

 

5. It is 4.45. This is the big moment on a Saturday afternoon. The last minute goals are going in, the final whistles are going, and the league tables are being settled. Radio 5, Talksport, Skysports, and Final Score are all going nineteen to the dozen. Do you

a) Quickly get to the final whistles in the local games before going straight to the national full times.

b) Choose now of all times to go the Travel, when not a single one of your listeners cares in the slightest about the Travel, and even if they did, it could have been done at any other time than 4.45.

 

6. It is 5.00. The results are in. It is time to reflect in the final hour of the show. Do you 

a) Give proper post match reports for all local games. Use your BBC contacts to get reports from the Premier League. Go round the league tables and bring us post match interviews from the local managers. 

b) Immediately at 5.00 start reading out every half-witted retarded text and tweet that comes your way without any selection process whatsoever. Tell us the name of the sender, even though it is a false name, and where they are from, even though it doesn't matter as they are all local. Whenever they end their message with a pointless sign-off like "Come On You Reds" or "F*** the Gas", instead of ignoring it, slavishly read it out as well even though that means saying the same phrase, that adds nothing, dozens and dozens of times while the local and national football scene sits there neglected. 

 

Did you answer

Mostly a.

Your application to BBC Radio Bristol showed common sense and a pleasing sensitivity to the needs of the listener. However there are no vacancies at the moment. Should any occur, we have placed your details on file and will contact you as and when the need arises.

 

Mostly b.

Congratulations!!! You are Geoff Twentyman!!! Job for life!!!

 

 

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3 minutes ago, One Team said:

He also asks decent questions in interviews, I recall him giving SL a grilling a few years back. 

‘But you own the club Steve’

I’ll always respect him for that interview and in particular that little moment. Seems an eternity ago now but he really represented us fans and was unafraid to ask tough questions in what was a dark time for the club. Can’t say I get where this meticulously-crafted vitriol comes from

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What a strange thread - I think Geoff has really improved over the last 10 years or so. His broadcasting skill has really improved and he does a great job at being neutral and balanced despite his Rovers history.

It says a lot that seemingly most City fans are content with a former Rovers captain presenting local football - that's testament to how well he gives a balanced account that gives time and energy to both sides.

I really am puzzled about what's bought this thread on

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Actually despite his past loyalties he gives a balanced and honest assessment. 

I particularly enjoyed the grillings he gave hammy and his Chelsea supporting boss AND the fact he refuses to take sides despite the desperate fewers wanting their needy love in  

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I like twentyman... He does a pretty good job considering his past loyalties. He also does not shirk way from asking awkward questions.

 

I get it he boils the OP's piss. At least he has got it off his chest. No harm in that.  I don't agree but fair enough.

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3 minutes ago, TRL said:

I like twentyman... He does a pretty good job considering his past loyalties. He also does not shirk way from asking awkward questions.

 

I get it he boils the OP's piss. At least he has got it off his chest. No harm in that.  I don't agree but fair enough.

I agree. I do get the reading out texts thing though - why do it? It adds nothing to the programme. I can only imagine he`s told to do it to `engage wiv da yoof` or something.

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16 minutes ago, Red Right Hand said:

I agree. I do get the reading out texts thing though - why do it? It adds nothing to the programme. I can only imagine he`s told to do it to `engage wiv da yoof` or something.

Audience interaction I guess. I'd rather they just left it to the phone in though. Reading a text is on the whole pointless. And a waste of airtime that could be given over to some better media/interviewing work.

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1 hour ago, Newquay-Red said:

‘But you own the club Steve’

I’ll always respect him for that interview and in particular that little moment. Seems an eternity ago now but he really represented us fans and was unafraid to ask tough questions in what was a dark time for the club. Can’t say I get where this meticulously-crafted vitriol comes from

That's the interview mate. 

I think it was during the record breaking losing run if memory serves. GT really pushed him, it got tense and then he landed that point.

Obviously things turned a corner but GT certainly got my respect from that interview.

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GT is at his best talking football, talking to listeners who call in, and is very good interviewing managers chairmen and cutting through the BS .  The programme though - and t h at may be the RB management - has some dire time fillers that the OP has touched on. The frequent travel updates when there's no problems anywhere and the lad reads out a huge list of places as far away as Westbury Trowbridge Taunton that have zero issues. Similarly the repetitious reading out of texts pre match that all basically say " come on you Reds".  The commentaries are good (when you can't find a stream) ....Gary Owers is good, as is Durden...Richard Hoskin is dire though. 

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I really like GT. He is a really smart guy who has lived in the area for years and knows his stuff. He certainly isn't anti - City in the least bit, and so what if he played for the Gas during those days.. Geoff Twentyman is an honourable Bristolian in my book.  Keep up the good work, Geoff.

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3 hours ago, Newquay-Red said:

‘But you own the club Steve’

I’ll always respect him for that interview and in particular that little moment. Seems an eternity ago now but he really represented us fans and was unafraid to ask tough questions in what was a dark time for the club. Can’t say I get where this meticulously-crafted vitriol comes from

Great interview, bit much SL waiting until now to get back at him by pretending he’s from Boston and writing a quiz though? Come on Steve, the game’s up.

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I think GT does a good job on a limited budget...and has done for years. 

But the OP made me laugh...it's been the same show for an eternity. I particularly like the fact that, having travelled back to my car on the park and ride bus, I will always turn on just in time for an extended matey interview with the manager of an exceptionally obscure local side who've just put eight past their opponents...or some such.

At the same time BBC local radio stations such as Sheffield or Derby will be using well informed former players to forensically examine the tactics and performance of their local league sides. I'm afraid that Radio Bristol is all a bit amateur-night at times, but GT keeps the show on the road and has a nostalgic charm.

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