Are You Geoff Twentyman?

[Natchfever]

4 hours ago, Boston Red said:

Take the following quiz to find out.

 

1. After a career in lower league football, you are appointed a presenter on a local radio station. To develop your broadcasting style, do you

a) Speak lightly, naturally, easily, and fluently, to make for pleasant easy listening.

b). Growl out every syllable from the depths of your stomach. Speak painfully slowly. Shout out every word at the microphone full volume, so that your listeners feel as if they are being beaten around the head by a metal shovel.

 

2. You are placed in charge of Saturday Sport. Do you

a) Dynamically transform and improve the programme and use it as a springboard for your own career into national media, as Mark Lawrenson, Steve Scott, Angus Scott, and Rob Nothman did before you.

b) Show no ambition whatsoever and keep the programme exactly the same for the next twenty two years.

 

3. You have to do some interviews and go to the travel. Do you

a) Do the interviews and go to the travel.

b) Start talking about "my guest your guest" and "your roads", even though not a single one of your listeners owns either a guest or a road. 

 

4. It is time to cover City and Rovers. This is a two club city. City fans want Rovers to lose and Rovers fans want City to lose. Do you

a) Accept that different listeners will have different outcomes. Cover both clubs professionally and neutrally. Keep them on different frequencies as much as possible.

b) Enter into a bizarre fantasy mythical world where all listeners want Rovers AND City to win, thereby infuriating, patronising, and exasperating all of your listeners all at the same time. 

 

5. It is 4.45. This is the big moment on a Saturday afternoon. The last minute goals are going in, the final whistles are going, and the league tables are being settled. Radio 5, Talksport, Skysports, and Final Score are all going nineteen to the dozen. Do you

a) Quickly get to the final whistles in the local games before going straight to the national full times.

b) Choose now of all times to go the Travel, when not a single one of your listeners cares in the slightest about the Travel, and even if they did, it could have been done at any other time than 4.45.

 

6. It is 5.00. The results are in. It is time to reflect in the final hour of the show. Do you 

a) Give proper post match reports for all local games. Use your BBC contacts to get reports from the Premier League. Go round the league tables and bring us post match interviews from the local managers. 

b) Immediately at 5.00 start reading out every half-witted retarded text and tweet that comes your way without any selection process whatsoever. Tell us the name of the sender, even though it is a false name, and where they are from, even though it doesn't matter as they are all local. Whenever they end their message with a pointless sign-off like "Come On You Reds" or "**** the Gas", instead of ignoring it, slavishly read it out as well even though that means saying the same phrase, that adds nothing, dozens and dozens of times while the local and national football scene sits there neglected. 

 

Did you answer

Mostly a.

Your application to BBC Radio Bristol showed common sense and a pleasing sensitivity to the needs of the listener. However there are no vacancies at the moment. Should any occur, we have placed your details on file and will contact you as and when the need arises.

 

Mostly b.

Congratulations!!! You are Geoff Twentyman!!! Job for life!!!

 

 

Top bloke Geoff

[hollydog]

4 hours ago, Red Right Hand said:

When you have the pleasure of the idiots down here on Radio Devon (Gordon Sparkes excepted) you realise how good he is.

Well said my neighbour in the South Stand. I was listening to Radio Devon on Saturday and thinking how crap it was compared with Radio Bristol.(And I agree with you on Gordon - top bloke; knows his football and good taste in music).

As somebody who has lived elsewhere in country I think Radio Bristol’s football coverage is excellent and Geoff is top quality!! 

[myol'man]

I'm Twentyman

[Hampshire reds]

i think he is really good for local football. keep up the good work geoff. 

 

[Miah Dennehy]

I don't listen to GT all that often, but when I do, he seems okay. However, there is always room for improvement and a couple of thins the OP has mentioned I agree with.

Don't read out tweets. I don't give a flying **** that Bertie form Bemmy says 'Up the City' or Tote End Tommy thinks that pasties aren't what they used to be.

I find phone ins painful to listen to and I would probably like less fan input not more (and I have been a studio guest in the past and also used to get called pre match when they had a little spell of ringing fans before a game)

The other point the OP makes is the whole 'we all want both teams to do well'

What a load of bollocks. I don't even much care for people saying 'as long as we come first, I hope they finish second' kind of thing. Some of you may remember the billboards around Bristol after the 1990 game, showing a picture of the league table with us top, you second and the slogan 'Definitely a Dry Blackthorn day'. I thought it was hilarious, especially as I worked in Bedminster at the time and there was one right outside my workplace. Obviously some **** in advertising without absolutely no idea how football rivalry works thought that one up.

 

[Major Isewater]

8 hours ago, Red Exile said:

I think GT does a good job on a limited budget...and has done for years. 

But the OP made me laugh...it's been the same show for an eternity. I particularly like the fact that, having travelled back to my car on the park and ride bus, I will always turn on just in time for an extended matey interview with the manager of an exceptionally obscure local side who've just put eight past their opponents...or some such.

At the same time BBC local radio stations such as Sheffield or Derby will be using well informed former players to forensically examine the tactics and performance of their local league sides. I'm afraid that Radio Bristol is all a bit amateur-night at times, but GT keeps the show on the road and has a nostalgic charm.

Even as a kid RB seemed to me to be way behind the times .

 I love it on hindsight. All those Bristolian accents .

and now here’s a bit of Glen Miller ...

[Son of Fred]

14 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

and now here’s a bit of Glen Miller ...

Can't beat a rendition of "In The Mood" as the curtains close over the coffin..

[Red Exile]

12 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

Even as a kid RB seemed to me to be way behind the times .

 I love it on hindsight. All those Bristolian accents .

and now here’s a bit of Glen Miller ...

What Geoff has is authenticity - like the great Roger Bennett.

Much as I might be sitting in my car cursing the lack of proper analysis of the City match I completely believe that GT is genuinely excited about Hallen putting 8 past Roman Glass St George...or whatever. Can't fault that.

[AshtonGreat]

This is very funny - well done to the OP! 

[reddogkev]

Am I the only one on here who has never listened to the Geoff Twentyman BBC show?  I have no idea what his voice even sounds like!

Did the OP really write that all out, or is it copied from somewhere?  He must be someone who wants Geoff's job.

[Redwhitepurple]

Absolutely love this. Best post of 2019.

The first one you state has annoyed me too for past 15 20 years, you got it spot on.one thing I would say is i wouldnt change the format though and you'll find same format on all local bbc stations some things dont need to change

 

[CotswoldRed]

The day Geoff hangs up his mic will be a very sad day for Bristol football. 

18 minutes ago, Redwhitepurple said:

Absolutely love this. Best post of 2019.

The first one you state has annoyed me too for past 15 20 years, you got it spot on.one thing I would say is i wouldnt change the format though and you'll find same format on all local bbc stations some things dont need to change

 

Best post of 2019? What a shame. 

[downendcity]

No - I'm Spartacus.

[kmpowell]

9 hours ago, myol'man said:

I'm Twentyman

No I’m Twentyman, and so’s my wife. 

[Major Isewater]

In fact,  am I missing something or is it impossible to get RB on BCTV now ? 

[exAtyeoMax]

9 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

In fact,  am I missing something or is it impossible to get RB on BCTV now ? 

No, listened to it a couple of weeks ago

[Major Isewater]

1 hour ago, exAtyeoMax said:

No, listened to it a couple of weeks ago

Oh , so I am missing something. 

Before they changed graphics and renamed it Robins TV there was a window for audio commentary that doesn’t seem to be there now, pray tell where they’ve put it please . 

[exAtyeoMax]

1 minute ago, Major Isewater said:

Oh , so I am missing something. 

Before they changed graphics and renamed it Robins TV there was a window for audio commentary that doesn’t seem to be there now, pray tell where they’ve put it please . 

Yes it's even more annoying than it was before. Are you talking about match day commentary? If so, I usually scrabble about on the match day page, pressing random buttons until it works. For some reason you have to turn up the volume from silent too . Whoever designed the interface needs a damn good thrashing.

[Major Isewater]

7 minutes ago, exAtyeoMax said:

Yes it's even more annoying than it was before. Are you talking about match day commentary? If so, I usually scrabble about on the match day page, pressing random buttons until it works. For some reason you have to turn up the volume from silent too . Whoever designed the interface needs a damn good thrashing.

After the match I used to switch to audio commentary but can’t find the right ‘ window ‘ now .

 

[exAtyeoMax]

7 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

After the match I used to switch to audio commentary but can’t find the right ‘ window ‘ now .

 

Sorry, can't recall how it works at the moment. 

[JBFC II]

3 hours ago, Redwhitepurple said:

Absolutely love this. Best post of 2019.

The first one you state has annoyed me too for past 15 20 years, you got it spot on.one thing I would say is i wouldnt change the format though and you'll find same format on all local bbc stations some things dont need to change

 

Best post of 2019?

I know you’re a troll but that’s ridiculous...

[Port Said Red]

I suppose like all broadcasters GT has things that one likes and dislikes in roughly equal measure. It's a matter of taste whether you can past your dislikes to enjoy the good bits. He has his little habits that I find annoying, the main one being the use of the rather bizarre "Saaaaafternoon"  and his insistence on sticking with the long outdated, "shout" as in "that's a great shout" or "is the shout out from" . 

But I do think that as he has matured as a presenter, he has also gained the confidence to make some quite hard hitting comments and ask some difficult questions of the powers that be no matter which team they are from. 

Judging by the way the local printed and online media is going we will be hankering for the good old days when he retires or moves on, I dread to think what/who will replace him.