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David Cotterill


Henry

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3 hours ago, JBFC II said:

You do realise the coloured is about as racist a term as you can use nowadays. 

Maybe 40 years ago it was fine but things have moved on, it’s a term you just can’t use any more...

People of colour is used regularly in the media and academia, usually to describe people from Southern Asia, India and is sometimes used in America. I think it’s becoming more common place but I wouldn’t use it to describe African or Afro Caribbean people.

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28 minutes ago, TuxHarry said:

#youregoinghomeinaluton ambulance is wholly serious to be fair.

But yes, I’ve been well informed they think you’re a tosser as do most of us on here.

From what I’ve seen you’ve acted like nothing but a prat since you’ve started posting on here. 

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12 hours ago, Red DNA said:

This seems to be the way the World has evolved.

Example 1 - Years ago your granny would die quite often which got you a few days off work and some empathy from others, and was used by skivers on a regular basis. 

Example 2 - The old bad back routine, non visible injury but extremely painful (I’ve had the real deal so I do know this is true) excellent for weeks off work if you can get your BAFTA level act of injury past your doctor 3 weeks paid leave is guaranteed. 

Example 3 - Stress, lots of people suddenly realised they were stressed. Much more concerning than just worried this can be on a new level and be used frequently - and your ‘stress’ level increased if someone dares to suggest you’re pulling a fast one. This is the predecessor of proper mental health scam. 

Example 4 - Mental Health, the real deal and very much on trend this has become so much more common now we’re allowed to talk about our feelings. I’m not convinced talking about minor worries helps if it causes you to stress, worrying is part of human nature and is designed to help you learn and evaluate risks in life. 

 

All of the the above are sadly true but will annoy the genuine ones who have had these issues for real. So whilst I apologise to them I do hope they realise it’s the scammers and cheats who are the ones really discrediting their genuine illnesses and making them look like skivers when they’re not - which makes it very hard for those of us lucky enough not to have these issues very difficult to differentiate between them and the cheats. 

Just for the record, someone very close in my family has had - and still has to a lower degree, serious mental health issues losing his job (and all the financial implications of that) and going to the point of ending it all before he got the help he needed to stabilise his life. 

 

As for NB, as previously suggested I think he’s set himself that 100% fitness level and if at any time - however inconvenient a time it might be, he just feels if he’s not good enough to contribute he has to stand aside for a 100% fit player??

Suicide the biggest killer of young men yet mocking the idea we should talk about our feelings.

I thought it was just the Gas who had backward fans? 

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21 minutes ago, J-mat said:

Suicide the biggest killer of young men yet mocking the idea we should talk about our feelings.

I thought it was just the Gas who had backward fans? 

I’m not mocking I’m just saying why does every single worry has to be talked about? People worry about going to a place of work they don’t like but they still go without opening up. 

How on earth have we all coped so far and what has caused the increase in suicides, talking about it doesn’t seem to have reduced it much, even though every bit helps. 

It’s all about pressure and showing how much you’ve got - nice motor, all the gadgets and holidays - right now, if not you’re a failure.

That’s where society needs to change, get fulfilment from a sense of achievement, be it saving for something nice or paying a bill off. Even helping out others on a voluntary basis can give great sense of pride and shows you’re contributing to making it a better society. 

Talking about it is just a small part of it. 

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12 hours ago, formerly known as ivan said:

You are missing my point. Mental health has become ‘fashionable’.

Of course there are thousands of genuine cases where people are on the brink and need help, but this gets diluted by those who play this card as an easy way out. And as someone else has said, it’s very easy to go to the doctors for medication without real examinations or tests being done.

Working in a world of credit control you can quite often hear things like ‘if you keep chasing me I will kill myself’. You have to be careful as some people are on the edge but they get missed as so many people use it as an empty threat to get out of a difficult situation.

Mental health/depression has always existed, it’s nothing new. What is new is the amount of people that new use this as a get out of jail free card, therefore taking away the real issue from those suffering.

To say mental health issues are a fashion is insensitive at the very least

What's new is that people are now prepared to talk about it and admit they are ill in this way, rather than hide it. In many cases admitting you are ill in this way this is an act of considerable bravery. Therefore we are not qualified to talk about this unless we have experienced it or someone close to us has experienced it.

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4 hours ago, alexukhc said:

Loads in the press about an ex premier league player having an affair in the press lately and being blackmailed 

It was a current premier league footballer according to all the reports - so nothing to do with David Cotterill ... and it wasn’t blackmail - all participants were cleared of that - they wanted to make money from selling the story to the media ...

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7 hours ago, Bristol Rob said:

People using the term 'coloured'.

Would help if you can say what colour they are.

For example, I'm white, but you might be talking about someone who is day-glo pink with purple spots and green stripes.

leave me out of this but you should be able to spot me at the ground though.

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Thread synopsis.

I would - and I make this offer openly - to all of you. Of which I probably know in person, half a dozen of you.

I would much rather spending 3 or 4 hours listening to your anxieties and worries, whatever they are; than I would listening to a 20 minute eulogy.

I get that some people don't/can't/won't recognise mental health as an illness, and some people see it as an excuse, and those that are suffering are probably shy of this thread, but if you do have something on your mind, or maybe you just aren't feeling 100%, reach out.

For clarity, I am not trained, I just happen to be someone with a degree of compassion. 

We have a private message function, and if anyone does choose to use it, anything said would of course be in confidence.

I hope everyone is okay, but if you feel like you can't talk to those closest, the offer is there.

Rob

(White, which is a 'colour' for those wondering).

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1 hour ago, Red DNA said:

I’m not mocking I’m just saying why does every single worry has to be talked about? People worry about going to a place of work they don’t like but they still go without opening up. 

How on earth have we all coped so far and what has caused the increase in suicides, talking about it doesn’t seem to have reduced it much, even though every bit helps. 

It’s all about pressure and showing how much you’ve got - nice motor, all the gadgets and holidays - right now, if not you’re a failure.

That’s where society needs to change, get fulfilment from a sense of achievement, be it saving for something nice or paying a bill off. Even helping out others on a voluntary basis can give great sense of pride and shows you’re contributing to making it a better society. 

Talking about it is just a small part of it. 

This sentence alone proves you know absolutely nothing whatsoever about Mental Illness, from personal experience talking about it is/was a major step in helping the ones who do suffer with it. Saying absolutely nothing to anyone is imo the worst thing to do.

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5 hours ago, BCFC11 said:

This sentence alone proves you know absolutely nothing whatsoever about Mental Illness, from personal experience talking about it is/was a major step in helping the ones who do suffer with it. Saying absolutely nothing to anyone is imo the worst thing to do.

Correct, I understand little but I have seen it close up with s family member and it’s scary as to what you can do to help. 

My main point is the suffering experienced by genuine people is diluted by others who feign the symptoms - and for lots of non professional onlookers it’s hard to believe them at times which makes it worse for the genuine ones. 

I’ve obviously not made my point clear enough so apologies if it came across uncaring, no mocking or denial intended. 

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20 hours ago, JBFC II said:

You do realise the coloured is about as racist a term as you can use nowadays. 

Maybe 40 years ago it was fine but things have moved on, it’s a term you just can’t use any more...

Genuine question: Why is it OK to refer to people of whole or part African origin as "black" when they are patently nothing of the sort. It is no more accurate than "coloured" or "white" (unless you're a goth)

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OK I've been desperately trying to stay off this thread, but have to say that in my opinion both sides of the argument are correct and perhaps people should be slightly less polarised in their views.

Mental illness is destructive and debilitating , often long term and poorly served by the NHS.

However the majority of people I see claiming to be depressed are reacting to a temporary situation where low mood would be considered a normal response, and like it or not a diagnosis of depression may well be of benefit to them. The situations they may find themselves in are sometimes self caused but more frequently not , and the majority I feel sympathetic towards. But not all.

Most would benefit more from talking therapy rather than meds , but this is still difficult to access in a timely fashion, which is why we get criticised so frequently for over medicating. It's difficult to offer nothing to people in these acute circumstances.

Don't really want to enter a debate, just my experience.

 

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44 minutes ago, Loon plage said:

Genuine question: Why is it OK to refer to people of whole or part African origin as "black" when they are patently nothing of the sort. It is no more accurate than "coloured" or "white" (unless you're a goth)

I think it's because coloured and coloureds was used not that long back as a term of abuse. Same as negro and the more unacceptable slang derivation of it.

Black and blacks was a more descriptive, less charged term, so it was adopted by the African-American community themselves and spread worldwide thereafter.

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Sadly, as per usual on OTIB, any thread involving discussion of a protected characteristic e.g. disability, race, sexual orientation etc. is incredibly cringe inducing and predominantly rooted in outmoded assumptions and narrative ? I don't know what the solution is...maybe some OTIB sponsored diversity training/education!

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1 hour ago, Loon plage said:

Genuine question: Why is it OK to refer to people of whole or part African origin as "black" when they are patently nothing of the sort. It is no more accurate than "coloured" or "white" (unless you're a goth)

In my experience , and I’ve had numerous conversations with certainly those of Afro Carribean Heritage , particularly around the time some years back when no one was sure of how to describe someone physically ,of Afro Carribean origin 

How would you like to be described  ?

Every single time - ‘ I’m black , that’s what I am ‘ and often , ( and rightly so ).  ‘And I’m proud to be’ 

From my experience , refer to  somebody of Afro Carribean origin as coloured and they do not like it at all and will normally correct with ‘I’m not coloured , I’m black’

For me the recipient is the most important person in this , not the speaker or a third party 

 

My experience - hope that helps

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22 hours ago, Bristol Rob said:

Thread synopsis.

I would - and I make this offer openly - to all of you. Of which I probably know in person, half a dozen of you.

I would much rather spending 3 or 4 hours listening to your anxieties and worries, whatever they are; than I would listening to a 20 minute eulogy.

I get that some people don't/can't/won't recognise mental health as an illness, and some people see it as an excuse, and those that are suffering are probably shy of this thread, but if you do have something on your mind, or maybe you just aren't feeling 100%, reach out.

For clarity, I am not trained, I just happen to be someone with a degree of compassion. 

We have a private message function, and if anyone does choose to use it, anything said would of course be in confidence.

I hope everyone is okay, but if you feel like you can't talk to those closest, the offer is there.

Rob

(White, which is a 'colour' for those wondering).

Thanks Rob. I know in years past this offer would have been of solace to me. 

Talking about my feelings rather than living by the supposed standards of masculinity saved my life in my mid to late teens. Realising that the pressures to be a "man" were absurd stopped the slippery slope of self harm and debilitating depression. 

Now I'm a dad with a son, I hope he never feels a tenth of the pressure and anxiety i did for so long. 

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22 hours ago, Loon plage said:

Genuine question: Why is it OK to refer to people of whole or part African origin as "black" when they are patently nothing of the sort. It is no more accurate than "coloured" or "white" (unless you're a goth)

I guess It originally was okay (but not really), but the term "coloured" now carries derogatory weight. The same could happen to any word or term overtime. 

So whether it's a correct category word to use or not, that word carries a lot more weight now. 

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8 minutes ago, Sturny said:

I guess It originally was okay (but not really), but the term "coloured" now carries derogatory weight. The same could happen to any word or term overtime. 

So whether it's a correct category word to use or not, that word carries a lot more weight now. 

Notably, the NAACP still use the term.

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On 05/10/2019 at 23:05, Henry said:

Anyone know what this is about? Something is brewing, there is a guy on twitter saying Cotts have scammed City staff and youth players.

98274735-E879-4E1D-A3EE-5934FAAFABB6.jpeg

Sounds as if the story is out about him owing 400k to various former teammates, and he is in the process of trying to return money to them.

I hope there is understanding for him as it sounds as if he is trying to turn his life around.

Also, footballers - at what point do they think that another footballer has far better investment advice that someone who has made it their career?

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On 05/10/2019 at 23:13, Redwhitepurple said:

If in trouble always blame mental health

 

I hope at 23.13 last Saturday you had a lot of alcohol on board, and posted this naively or impaired, for if you truly think that, I for one think you are one heartless bast@rd, and clearly never experienced it yourself, or with a love one.

 

Having lost my best mate and a family member effects of mental health, I find your flippant, dismissive tone appalling.

 

From what I can see, you haven’t responded to anyone’s comments back to you, I wonder why that is.

 

I don’t wish to be banned from this forum, so I will dampen it down and just say, I really don’t like you...

 

 

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On 06/10/2019 at 22:52, Bristol Rob said:

Thread synopsis.

I would - and I make this offer openly - to all of you. Of which I probably know in person, half a dozen of you.

I would much rather spending 3 or 4 hours listening to your anxieties and worries, whatever they are; than I would listening to a 20 minute eulogy.

I get that some people don't/can't/won't recognise mental health as an illness, and some people see it as an excuse, and those that are suffering are probably shy of this thread, but if you do have something on your mind, or maybe you just aren't feeling 100%, reach out.

For clarity, I am not trained, I just happen to be someone with a degree of compassion. 

We have a private message function, and if anyone does choose to use it, anything said would of course be in confidence.

I hope everyone is okay, but if you feel like you can't talk to those closest, the offer is there.

Rob

(White, which is a 'colour' for those wondering).

Just saw this. Top top post. ?COYR 

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44 minutes ago, !james said:

That doesn’t paint a very good picture, does it!

What he needed to do was let life settle down once he had admitted his mental health issues, instead, he has gone out & dug himself into an even bigger hole & that hole feels hard enough to get out of while suffering without making it even harder to get out of.

Trust is a massive part of mental health but that trust works both ways & you can’t expect everyone to keep forgiving you for your mistakes!

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