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CodeRed

Mark Ashton transfer update

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I wish he would mention the "football club " more................he could be talking about the rugby or basketball clubs for all I know !

Good spoof, nailed it ! 😀

Edited by slartibartfast
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11 minutes ago, Northern Red said:

Mark, a question if I may please.

Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

Doesn't matter because we don't fish in oceans. Apparently.

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7 minutes ago, Dullmoan Tone said:

Has to be spoof - there is no difference between attitude and application - they just wanted 3 A's

Not as good as the 5 D’s of Dodgeball.

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge 

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The statement is fine and I appreciate that he did it. 

Except that the continual refence to "THIS FOOTBALL CLUB".

Mr Ashton, if you are not aware of who is employing you, WE ARE BRISTOL CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, WHO PLAY AT ASHTON GATE IN BRISTOL.

PS. I also note that City Supporters have now become "Stakeholders". 

Edited by cidered abroad
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4 minutes ago, cidered abroad said:

The statement is fine and I appreciate that he did it. 

Except that the continual refence to "THIS FOOTBALL CLUB".

Mr Ashton, if you are not aware of who is employing you, WE ARE BRISTOL CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, WHO PLAY AT ASHTON GATE IN BRISTOL.

He didn't do it.....at least not yet.... he'll do it next week and the OP will basically be exactly what he comes out with.

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13 minutes ago, cidered abroad said:

The statement is fine and I appreciate that he did it. 

Except that the continual refence to "THIS FOOTBALL CLUB".

Mr Ashton, if you are not aware of who is employing you, WE ARE BRISTOL CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, WHO PLAY AT ASHTON GATE IN BRISTOL.

PS. I also note that City Supporters have now become "Stakeholders". 

Oh dear.

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1 hour ago, Northern Red said:

Mark, a question if I may please.

Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

To paraphrase Fred Trueman, dunno but he’ll be bloody tired if there is.

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53 minutes ago, cidered abroad said:

The statement is fine and I appreciate that he did it. 

Except that the continual refence to "THIS FOOTBALL CLUB".

Mr Ashton, if you are not aware of who is employing you, WE ARE BRISTOL CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, WHO PLAY AT ASHTON GATE IN BRISTOL.

PS. I also note that City Supporters have now become "Stakeholders". 

 Whooooosh

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3 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

 “Stakehokders” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
 

Pure poetry mate.

Dutch by the looks of it, double Dutch even.

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1 hour ago, STeveOELlis said:

Panic stations

 

57 minutes ago, cidered abroad said:

The statement is fine and I appreciate that he did it. 

Except that the continual refence to "THIS FOOTBALL CLUB".

Mr Ashton, if you are not aware of who is employing you, WE ARE BRISTOL CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, WHO PLAY AT ASHTON GATE IN BRISTOL.

PS. I also note that City Supporters have now become "Stakeholders". 

I think you'll find this is OTIB getting Ashton's excuses in for him. Aren't we kind. 

This will mean Ashton doesn't have to waste precious time spouting guff on Twentyman's wireless show, leaving him the maximum opportunity to sign the players Lee Johnson doesn't want, just before the transfer window "slams" shut.

COYR!

Edited by Merrick's Marvels
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I’m sure it’s a spoof but if Mark Ashton reads it I’m sure he’ll take the key drivers and run them up the flagpole to see if Steve Lansdown salutes. Just wait until we get his next real press release. Look out for “options” 

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25 minutes ago, CyderInACan said:

Ponds, Oceans or Streams - it matters not - great bit of fishing there! Caught quite a few I see . . . 

 

So effectively, Mark Ashton has become the replacement for Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes. 

'Don't go chasing waterfalls, please still to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to'

And there in shows the limits of our recruitment process. A lack of waterfalls.

I wonder if Mark 'left wing' Ashton takes an alternative views on 'Scrubs' to that of the rest of the band?

Edited by Bristol Rob
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2 minutes ago, pongo88 said:

I’m sure it’s a spoof but if Mark Ashton reads it I’m sure he’ll take the key drivers and run them up the flagpole to see if Steve Lansdown salutes. Just wait until we get his next real press release. Look out for “options” 

Absolutely. Bit of blue sky thinking never hurt anyone.

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22 minutes ago, pongo88 said:

I’m sure it’s a spoof but if Mark Ashton reads it I’m sure he’ll take the key drivers and run them up the flagpole to see if Steve Lansdown salutes. Just wait until we get his next real press release. Look out for “options” 

I'm sure he will touch base with SL at some point to reimagine their forward strategy.

Edited by BigTone

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MA should change his name to Captain Waffle..............:cool2:

That statement says nothing at all - it’s all predictable hot air and bluff that we’ve heard plenty of times before.
 

What we want to hear is not how hard their working but who’ve they signed.............

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3 minutes ago, Robbored said:

MA should change his name to Captain Waffle..............:cool2:

That statement says nothing at all - it’s all predictable hot air and bluff that we’ve heard plenty of times before.
 

What we want to hear is not how hard their working but who’ve they signed.............

You must be on a wind up yourself, right?

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For any element of doubt, @CodeRed writes an MA speech every window.  He’s becoming so good, OTIBers now think it’s real.

I’m pissing myself at those that think it’s real.  Sorry to spoil the fun, but I’ve run out if underpants. 🤪

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3 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

Actions speak louder than words. Get it done.

Yes Boris

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2 hours ago, Taunton_BCFC said:

Yep! In other words no new striker

If they're not available, they're not available tbh...

Nketiah isn't. Adams probably isn't, Gayle is both prohibitively expensive and injured- I'd be pulling out all the stops for Vydra, if he's available.

Or Gray, though he would cost- check the transfer forum thread on him if you haven't already, for the mooted terms!

Bowen of course an excellent choice but a) He's likely out of our price range and b) It's unclear whether he's even available.

Marriott on loan could be good- but again is he available?

I'm not sure on Wickham personally. Assombalonga would certainly be good, but I think he can be overrated in some aspects of his game, probably a decent fee etc- and he's not even fit right now.

Not easy, is it? Far from easy in fact!

Edited by Mr Popodopolous

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I read the Ashton message as

"No business imminent" 

"New striker unlikely" 

"We're selling some players soon".

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