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Negative Emojis and Mental Health Week


Norn Iron

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4 hours ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have ? and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

Lots of stuff goes on here that is near to the knuckle, but I have been on other forums that make this one look positively sedate!

Positive and negative emojis are supposed to be fun, although weaponising emojis and responses is an issue on social media in general.

The way i deal with it, is simply block the half wits. You may not like it, but I do it because I cant be bothered to read some of the utter garbage people write. In your case, if you are feeling a bit sensitive, it will help massively. Make a list and block them. You'll be surprised how much more interesting and fun this board, becomes.....Thought....In life you choose your friends, this place is no different.

Good Luck to Mrs Norn Iron and my very best wishes!!  

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Good luck with your battles, @Norn Iron Don't be afraid of the GP. Helped me at a time I thought my life was turning to dust.  Turned out it wasn't and instead a new chapter opened for me - but I needed professional help to see that. I hope Mrs Iron's health improves.  We take good health for granted, but life has a horrible way of shocking us!

In terms of negative emoticons, I've only ever used them to someone who has been downright rude to me. I don't accept people being offensive to my face and I won't here. Only time I might've veered from that rule is on the odd occasion someone has posted something racist or homophobic. That is an incredibly rare occasion on Otib. We aren't headbangers here.

Your post reminds us all to be sparing with such gestures. We all support City and we'd probably mostly get on together if we met in real life - regardless of differences of opinion about football, politics and God knows what else.

No one is a ****k or a **nk** just because they have a different opinion from you.

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4 hours ago, RedJim said:

Very well said. I hate seeing the aubergine emoji - calling someone a 'c*ck' just because they have a difference of opinion is pathetic and contributes nothing decent to the forum. There's too much toxicity on this forum and online in general.

 

Only the other day I commented on How the ‘Defend LJ’s record’ thread had had an almost total lack of personal insults, which had led to the quality of debate going right up. 
 

remove the aubergine! 
 

actually that sounds a bit dubious tbh...

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1 hour ago, TonyTonyTony said:

BBSB was the biggest user of negative emojis. Glad he has ****** off tbh. Absolute bully

And yet a top poster and generally very popular as shown by the very high number of 'likes' he's amassed.

I'm actually hoping he's serving a ban because Bob not being on here since just before lockdown is a bit concerning otherwise.

Similar goes for WhistleHappy and a few others who are conspicuous by their long term absence.

Just hope they're all OK.

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6 hours ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have ? and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

Great post @Norn Iron

I am sorry you are feeling down at present. You should hold your head high. Whilst all of our situations are different, like many of us I have first hand experience of struggles with mental health. What I will say is if you ever want to chat in general or to debate/discuss all things City then please feel free to inbox me. I will always be happy to talk if it helps.

I agree regarding the negative emojis. I think it also hinders people’s understanding of constructive debate and what the forum is for. We don’t all have to agree but should be able to discuss all issues in a constructive manner. 
 

Keep the faith mate.

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1 hour ago, TonyTonyTony said:

Classic bully. For a grown man - pathetic 

So you've already said.

So I'll just repeat, he may not be perfect with his responses when posters are deliberately winding him up - something  I've seen countless times - but Bob is one of the best posters on here and certainly one of the most popular.

I hope to see Bob, and the other missing posters, back on OTIB asap.

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey @Norn Iron

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time right now.  

I work in mental health.  It's a shame you aren't in Bristol as I may be able to recommend a few options.

Yes, emojis can be cruel, but I'm sure you'd agree if you were in a better place they wouldn't affect you as they have.

As others have said, speak to your GP.  I'm sure there will be support groups for carers where you live.  

It sounds like a cliche, but all things will pass.  Sometimes you just need to ask for help to get you through it.  People are great if you are willing to let them help you.

Best wishes to your wife.  

 

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15 hours ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have ? and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. As others have said, be more selective in who you read or engage with (I’ve a few on ignore) and it does make it easier. I haven’t been bullied on here but I’ve noticed it between others, even the occasional baiting of RR can get tedious and get you down (especially if you’re not feeling great in yourself). 
In the main, this forum is (dare I say it) informative, interesting and lighthearted (sometimes really funny), you just need to know where to look.

All the best, NI. 

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18 hours ago, LondonBristolian said:

Apart from anything else, I think negative emojis encourage laziness and a lack of respect for other posters. Everyone has a right to disagree with anything someone else posts but, if you do, it just basic manners to explain why. And if someone can't manage that, they'd be best off saying nothing rather than having an easy button to press. 

I kind of agree with you, but I would guess depending on the post it may not need a reply if it is a pile of cack?

It's like the like emoji, should people explain why they like a post?

The emoji's essentially are a quick response of whether you agree or not, and the dislike button was removed because of that.

Personally I have had a couple of posters of time that just reply the negative emoji on everything I posted, to me it just highlights what a sad person they must be to go through looking out my posts to give me the aubergine.

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User generated content keeps this place active and flowing, and in a sea of opinions there will be views that are the polar opposite to how someone else views a particular situation.

Emojis are useful for those who have a view and either don't have time or indeed the inclination to articulate there point.

That said, if someone is in disagreement, maybe ignoring a post you don't have time for is a better plan than visually trying to rubbish it.

It could be that some posters are mindful that a debate could lead to personal insults (attack the post, not the poster), could be they think, why engage with someone so wrong, they'll never learn.

Had never really given any consideration that a few pixels on a screen could leave someone feeling a bit more distressed as offence is generally taken rather than offered, but the OP has clearly taken the time to say how it makes them feel, and they make important point.

So, all things considered, I would probably agree that collectively there is no need for the negative emojis, but if people feel validated by positive reactions (which, post match, seem to be when you most frequently see them), I would be in favour of keeping them.

I also think back fondly to the days of the mailing list. Good Times!

Hope everyone is in good health and getting the support they need.

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18 hours ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have ? and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

I wanted to keep my replies deliberatley seperate

It's no secret that I have suffered badly with MH issues over the years and still do on occasions.

I can only echo what others have said, take care of yourself, DON'T feel bad if you need to seek help - be that from your GP or counselling etc.

It is also very important to not feel like you are doing anything wrong, it is perfectly normal to feel low and depressed, and is much more common than you will think

Stay strong, there are people on here that do care, so just take one small step at a time and don't expect everything to be okay in a short space of time

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This has been a very interesting thread on a subject/situation that I have neither no real knowledge of, or have given much thought to. While I did experience a stressful 6 weeks some 20+ years ago, and had some dark moments when diagnosed with kidney cancer some 16 years ago (all happily resolved) I never really felt under great mental strain. I have always tried to explain myself when disagreeing with a post and not revert to the use of disparaging remarks or negative emojis, but I can't honestly say I have never done these things. All I can say now is that I feel suitably admonished and ashamed of such actions and will not use such negative symbols again. 

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15 hours ago, Robbored said:

That’s very true but if you’re feeling low and vulnerable negative emojis can have quite an impact on your self worth.

On the other hand if you’re feeling well and in good spirits it’s easy enough to ignore them.

Also I think we sometimes only see the one bad/negative comment or emoji when there are heaps of positives, but somehow we are drawn to the one we shouldn’t and dwell on that. I guess in a way it’s human nature and the need to want to fit in and be respected and listened to. 

Also I think it is human nature to have good days and bad days. Sometimes things annoy/upset me that other days wouldn’t bother me too much at all. I think this is quite normal and I personally think that although some people suffer from stress and mental health issues it’s become too easy to label everyone as experiencing such when in reality it’s often just not a good day for them. Once a person believes they have mental health problems they attribute everything to them and end up in a downward spiral. Yes I know some people do suffer and acknowledgement is important, it’s just getting the balance right. 

@Norn Ironif it’s any comfort I always read and enjoy your posts. You have made me laugh many times when maybe I’ve needed cheering up and I’ve read a lot of sense from you too. I am looking forward to this continuing. Take care, there are many great contributors on here and you are certainly one of them. 

M xx

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Can't say I'd previously given it much thought, but this is an interesting read. On reflection, the aubergine emoji really is just the emoji symbol for penis isn't it? As such, using it effectively labels the poster a cock. I think OTIB is better than that. I, for one, would happily see the aubergine emoji removed and perhaps the 'questioning face' could take its place as the go-to 'I disagree'.

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Think one thing I'd point out is they're not negative in the sense they remove points off your reputation - they are neutral. 

We had some pathetic nonsense of people going through an entire users post collection and negative repping all of there posts.

If the consensus is to remove them we can do, unfortunately I find that 99% of the time its grown adults abusing them and my fear is that removing them will lead to people just being more attack minded on replies instead. 

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3 minutes ago, TomF said:

Think one thing I'd point out is they're not negative in the sense they remove points off your reputation - they are neutral. 

We had some pathetic nonsense of people going through an entire users post collection and negative repping all of there posts.

If the consensus is to remove them we can do, unfortunately I find that 99% of the time its grown adults abusing them and my fear is that removing them will lead to people just being more attack minded on replies instead. 

Difficult decision, especially as the forum is well moderated and because of that, most people abide by the rules.

So allowing a negative response likely saves a lot of time trying to wade through a lot of the nonsense and deciding if it's a post or poster who is getting grief.

Would it not be an idea - just for the next week or so, to see how many positive reactions are posted, and how many negatives, can't say I have seen too many negatives, but then I don't read every post.

Or maybe cap the number of negative reactions people can make? I have seen people say they have run out of 'likes' before, but i don't think I have seen anyone moan that they have run out of 'turds'*

 

*never thought I'd be posting on here about moaning about a lack of turdage

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16 minutes ago, Bristol Rob said:

Difficult decision, especially as the forum is well moderated and because of that, most people abide by the rules.

So allowing a negative response likely saves a lot of time trying to wade through a lot of the nonsense and deciding if it's a post or poster who is getting grief.

Would it not be an idea - just for the next week or so, to see how many positive reactions are posted, and how many negatives, can't say I have seen too many negatives, but then I don't read every post.

Or maybe cap the number of negative reactions people can make? I have seen people say they have run out of 'likes' before, but i don't think I have seen anyone moan that they have run out of 'turds'*

 

*never thought I'd be posting on here about moaning about a lack of turdage

I actually just looked and all the reputations are +1 rather than anything else. But yes in some ways there is the risk of removing them will result in people using other ways to attack the poster. 

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49 minutes ago, TomF said:

If the consensus is to remove them we can do, unfortunately I find that 99% of the time its grown adults abusing them and my fear is that removing them will lead to people just being more attack minded on replies instead. 

The only time I get bewildered by an emoji is when I’ve posted something sensible and someone uses a laughing emoji without any explanation.

I have on occasions asked the poster by pm why they thought my post was amusing.

As for the aubergine ? I find that particularly amusing because it tells me that the poster who used it isn’t able to debate the point sensibility.........:dunno:.

On another Championship that I visit they have + and - along with a thumbs up ?? and thumbs down ? and that along with laughing emojis is all they have. Much much simpler imv. 

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9 minutes ago, Robbored said:

The only time I get bewildered by an emoji is when I’ve posted something sensible and someone uses a laughing emoji without any explanation.

I have on occasions asked the poster by pm why they thought my post was amusing.

As for the aubergine ? I find that particularly amusing because it tells me that the poster who used it isn’t able to debate the point sensibility.........:dunno:.

On another Championship that I visit they have + and - along with a thumbs up ?? and thumbs down ? and that along with laughing emojis is all they have. Much much simpler imv. 

We had up and down prior, people abused it and we removed it for quite a while.  

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28 minutes ago, CyderInACan said:

I see the ?has gone - I'm cool with that. 

My personal account manager won't be.

I'll have to go back to sending real ones again!*

 

*for the record, I DON'T actually post poo to people. So if you wanted one, you're out of luck, and if you are my personal account manager, in the words of Shaggy; 'It wasn't me.

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6 minutes ago, TomF said:

We had up and down prior, people abused it and we removed it for quite a while.  

The only way that will stop posters abusing the emojis is to have just two. A like or ?? and a :rofl2br:

If posters want to be negative then actually post their negativity . Why is it necessary to have a negative emoji? 

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3 hours ago, Robbored said:

The only way that will stop posters abusing the emojis is to have just two. A like or ?? and a :rofl2br:

If posters want to be negative then actually post their negativity . Why is it necessary to have a negative emoji? 

What would you use if you disagreed with a post?

What would you use if you agreed with a post?

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6 minutes ago, phantom said:

What would you use if you disagreed with a post?

What would you use if you agreed with a post?

If you disagree with a post then simply reply - why the need for an emoji?

If you agree with a post then tap the ‘like’ and reply if you wish,

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