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Negative Emojis and Mental Health Week


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Apart from anything else, I think negative emojis encourage laziness and a lack of respect for other posters. Everyone has a right to disagree with anything someone else posts but, if you do, it just basic manners to explain why. And if someone can't manage that, they'd be best off saying nothing rather than having an easy button to press. 

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To be honest I'm not a fan of the emjois in general, although I expect I'll be in the minority. I feel like some people make posts just to "farm" a load of likes, or otherwise don't post something too controversial for fear of getting aubergined. Post ever win there's a thread for each player with 30+ likes saying he did a jolly good job etc. I also think they can encourage people to just skim a thread and read a few posts with a load of likes only, which then end up with even more and so on.

If they were removed though I guess we'd end up with endless quotes saying "+1" and "Good post" which is even worse!

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Its a point worth debating, but from memory before it was introduced if 20 people disagreed with something you'd have 20 comments saying the same thing and by the 5th comment of them it just became 'agree with above' etc and the negative emoji became a function whereby you could add your opinion without having to comment if you had nothing further to add.

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6 minutes ago, hodge said:

Its a point worth debating, but from memory before it was introduced if 20 people disagreed with something you'd have 20 comments saying the same thing and by the 5th comment of them it just became 'agree with above' etc and the negative emoji became a function whereby you could add your opinion without having to comment if you had nothing further to add.

Couldn't the posters who disagreed just like one of the posters disagreeing with the post they disagree with?

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8 minutes ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have 🍆 and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

Appreciate the post, however the way in which it's worded reads more in so much that you want to troll a specific poster. If you are getting 'stalked' have a word with the mods?  It's a thought.

Mental Health isn't a laughing matter and at the same time noting that you do not want to be negatively affected, it's sometimes best to step away from social media/ forums and the likes whilst you recover, or read only so as to not invite posts that can cause further issues to that. Posting can actually  cause further mental health issues https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm#:~:text=However%2C multiple studies have found,about your life or appearance.

It's worth taking a step back and seeing if posting is an issue, amazing what small things do, when MH is concerned

For anyone else who maybe affected here's a list of numbers that may help 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

Hope all goes well with your current circumstances and that you have the help and guidance you need to get through this

 

 

 

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Thanks Ralph for your input which is appreciated. However, i think there is a bigger issue whereby we all have a responsibility for other peoples' well being. Why should I leave the forum when if politeness and a bit more thoughtfulness from others would have a better effect throughout OTIB and beyond?

Why even have Mental Health Week if OTIB isn't going to do anything positive about it?

15 odd years ago on the Citylist forum, I thought I'd leave my angst on there having driven home from yet another dreadful away match. My ire was at Steve Lansdown. However, just before hitting the Send button, I re-read what I had written. All of a sudden i realised how negative and hurtful some of my passionate phrases were towards our benefactor. Let's face it, its only a game after all and how much do we actually contribute financially to BCFC staying in business? I immeduately deleted my wordy onslaught and instead issued a post thanking SL for what he was doing despite yet another poor performance and that it was appreciated. What happened next floored me! Maggie Lansdown had read my post and decided to reply on the Citylist. She was really encouraged by what I had written because she was getting fed up with some of the regular, hurtful comments! I wish I had kept her response.

And that's my issue. Do I need to go to a GP etc? Currently no as I know what is bugging me and getting me down. A lot of it cannot be resolved without my wife getting better and me moving back to Bristol....but that ain't going to happen. What I can do though is flag issues that I think can be resolved for the betterment of many without diadvantaging anyone. Just because many have harder skin than me currently doesn't make it right to use aubergines as a cheap, lazy way of expressing a retort. If we get 20 posts of the same thing, so be it. It will eventually start a dialogue.

That old adage of if you've got nothing useful to say then don't say anything, is still true today. An emoji is not useful, but words are even if it is in disagreement with an OP.

 

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49 minutes ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have 🍆 and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

Very well said. I hate seeing the aubergine emoji - calling someone a 'c*ck' just because they have a difference of opinion is pathetic and contributes nothing decent to the forum. There's too much toxicity on this forum and online in general.

 

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You are not alone NI.

As much as the internet can be a cruel, spiteful and thoughtless place at times. I genuinely believe that if you reach out as you have done, you'll see the best of people and that goes beyond the brother/sisterhood of OTIB.

I would definitely speak to your GP if you feel comfortable doing so, they can offer a lot of support. I would also mention your role of a carer for your wife to the GP.This puts a tremendous pressure on people and given the state of the world right now it probably only feels worse.

Support for mental health might not be advertised on here but your only a post or a PM to a poster you are friendly with to have somewhere to at least sound off.

Never a bad time for any of us to reflect on how we post and perhaps take a few seconds more before hitting submit sometimes.

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Perhaps we should have a 'hug' emoji?

Don't take too much notice Norm, OTIB, like a lot of social media should be treated with a giant pinch of salt!

At the end of the day it's just 22 blokes booting a ball around.

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1 hour ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have 🍆 and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

Stay strong my friend. 99 percent of the people on this forum are great and the odd 1 percent are great  people as well trying to express their opinion the best they can but we are all one family.

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In terms of emojis, less is definitely more in my humble opinion.

There should be a 'like' emoji, and that's it. It allows you to easily agree to a point if you don't feel the need to expand on it. If you disagree..? Either say so, or put a like on a comment that says so for you.

Don't think there's any need for the others - LondonBristolian said it best: it just encourages laziness and a lack of respect.

 

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Never been a fan of the negative emojis myself. Do enjoy a unicorn occasionally however!

I think they probably have a place. They have a place for people who can’t come up with a rational counter argument and are too lazy to battle you with words. 

Take them as a compliment! Oh, and have a unicorn!

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24 minutes ago, Norn Iron said:

And that's my issue. Do I need to go to a GP etc?

 

Hmmm......many posters will know that I spent 38 years working in mental health but what no other poster know is that around 30 years ago I experienced a period of poor mental health that led me to being off sick for a 6/12 period. 
During that period I saw my GP and essentially he simply didn’t have the time to talk things through and suggested that I take anti depressants and offered me a script.

Now being ‘in the trade’ so to speak I reluctantly accepted the script but never collected it because I knew what had triggered my mental health difficulties would not be helped my medication and that I needed to deal with it in my own way. To me antidepressants would have been ‘papering over the cracks’. I’d seen a lot of that in my career upto that point.

I shared my problems with two close friends both in psychiatry as I was and they were a fantastic help and I began to appreciate just how effective ‘talking therapy’ can be and soon after I was relocated to the alcohol team where the treatment is all about talking, talking and sharing personal issues both on a one to one basis or mostly in groups with people with the same condition.

I found that I was especially skilled at it and ended up spending the next 26 years in that field picking up counselling skills ‘on the job’. I did go on various counselling courses but didn’t find them particularly helpful. However I did end up diploma’s in this at that!


Depression and anxiety are classic symptoms related to dependent drinking and virtually every patient I came across had those symptoms and much to my chagrin inexperienced doctors would automatically dish out antidepressants when in reality abstention from alcohol was best treatment.

This is a long post but the bottom line is that ‘talking therapy’ is the best medicine. Talk to people you trust. They don’t need to be professionals, just good friends that you respect 

 

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1 hour ago, myol'man said:

Perhaps we should have a 'hug' emoji?

Don't take too much notice Norm, OTIB, like a lot of social media should be treated with a giant pinch of salt!

At the end of the day it's just 22 blokes booting a ball around.

:hug:

This good enough for you ? 
 

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1 hour ago, Norn Iron said:

Thanks Ralph for your input which is appreciated. However, i think there is a bigger issue whereby we all have a responsibility for other peoples' well being. Why should I leave the forum when if politeness and a bit more thoughtfulness from others would have a better effect throughout OTIB and beyond?

Why even have Mental Health Week if OTIB isn't going to do anything positive about it?

15 odd years ago on the Citylist forum, I thought I'd leave my angst on there having driven home from yet another dreadful away match. My ire was at Steve Lansdown. However, just before hitting the Send button, I re-read what I had written. All of a sudden i realised how negative and hurtful some of my passionate phrases were towards our benefactor. Let's face it, its only a game after all and how much do we actually contribute financially to BCFC staying in business? I immeduately deleted my wordy onslaught and instead issued a post thanking SL for what he was doing despite yet another poor performance and that it was appreciated. What happened next floored me! Maggie Lansdown had read my post and decided to reply on the Citylist. She was really encouraged by what I had written because she was getting fed up with some of the regular, hurtful comments! I wish I had kept her response.

And that's my issue. Do I need to go to a GP etc? Currently no as I know what is bugging me and getting me down. A lot of it cannot be resolved without my wife getting better and me moving back to Bristol....but that ain't going to happen. What I can do though is flag issues that I think can be resolved for the betterment of many without diadvantaging anyone. Just because many have harder skin than me currently doesn't make it right to use aubergines as a cheap, lazy way of expressing a retort. If we get 20 posts of the same thing, so be it. It will eventually start a dialogue.

That old adage of if you've got nothing useful to say then don't say anything, is still true today. An emoji is not useful, but words are even if it is in disagreement with an OP.

 

 

Hi @Norn Iron thanks for your response

Actually though, we all don't have responsibility for someone else's mental health. Apologies that this may seem harsh, however please do bare with

We cannot get in someone's head, we cannot tell what they are thinking, nor can we tell how they are at any given time. Simply put we cannot regulate something which we cannot ever know nor will be able to ever change. We can empathise, we can listen, we can provide support. However putting the onus for others for someone else's Mental health is massively avoidant and is something no one else is ever going to truly know

Putting responsibility on to others for their own Mental Health is simply a bad thing and absolves the person with the mental health issues from needing to do anything to seek help, if its taken care of by others.

I speak from a vast experience in this area, not least that I am a 4x Suicide Survivor and have worked with Mental Health Charities including the Samaritans for years. Call it a passion.

Obviously, each person is different however that you have a good handle on your situation is a good start and it's amazing that you have shared with such a public place.  I wanted to thank you for having the courage to do that and also that you felt safe enough to share.  I hope that writing it down has helped and that the other suggestions in this thread are in someway helpful regarding your situation.

In terms of seeking your GP, it's worth doing as it lets  those that need to know, know, if that makes sense. It may also open up possibilities of you or your partner getting respite so that you can both get rest as you cannot pour from an empty cup and is again something you may want to consider regarding your situation.

Bristol is a non starter you say? Okay what can you do there?is there some funding to look for, is there something you can start building towards if you really want to come home. Bare in mind that this doesn't actually need to involve your partner either. (again this may seem harsh, it's not meant that way. However, this is about your mental health and what will  possibly help you)  Use vision boards if it helps and break things down in to infinitesimally small things. Also try and focus on the things you can control rather than looking at firm no's before you've began. Write lists of pros and cons and keep a journal of your moods, and as well as your wants as a singular. They may help look at triggers and what is really bothering you as opposed to what appears immediately.

Being grateful can also help, even if it's something really small like today I washed my teeth,  eat and had a wash. It helps provide tangible evidence of things that your brain cannot argue with and as a result starts to build confidence and can help regain some self worth/ self esteem.

There's a million and one other things that can be done and speaking to Samaritans, close friends or whoever else as well as going to the GP to get in the system, even if you dont want or need tablets could give you a bit of stability to which you can grow from.

I wish you well with this, and hope that you get all the support that you need.

PS Totes remember the City List, gutted when Yahoo closed Groups earlier on in the year. Miss Geoff's (RIP) rambling from the states and various others.

 

 

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1 hour ago, RedJim said:

Very well said. I hate seeing the aubergine emoji - calling someone a 'c*ck' just because they have a difference of opinion is pathetic and contributes nothing decent to the forum. There's too much toxicity on this forum and online in general.

 

I think sometimes though it’s valid to point out when someone is intentionally trolling (we can all think of a few) without “feeding” them by engaging in conversation. That’s personally the only time I’ll use that one or the poo emoji!

@Norn Iron sorry about your circumstances, perhaps it will at least make people think twice before they post or reCt, myself included 

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3 hours ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have 🍆 and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

I think the problem is how one interprets emojis. Sometimes they can be used in jest, and then the same one as an attack. Are they aimed at the post or the poster? 

I was quite miffed a couple of months ago by what I interpreted as a passive aggressive 'angry emoji' on FB! I thought it was unnecessary…and lazy. I don't know the person personally, so couldn't judge what they actually meant. 

Some people are just blunt, tactless and not very diplomatic, they type how they speak… I try not to take their replies to heart (which is difficult sometimes if you're feeling down)

 

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3 hours ago, Norn Iron said:

Recently, we had Mental Health Week within football especially. 

Currently, I feel useless, worthless and down right fed up. I come onto OTIB as a release, an escape from my never ending circumstances of looking after a very sick wife and all that entails. Normally, people who disagree with me do so in a manner befitting further amiable conversation. However, yesterday's emojis left by a couple (one in particular who seems to pick on me as if he has a grudge anyway) have really affected me. Sure, I hear you say, it's what the forum is all about. But is it though? 

There have been a few over the past year who have spoken openly about their own mental health issues, which have led to far worse scenarios than me just feeling crap, worthless and useless. So whilst I'm in this particular mire, why is it we have 🍆 and other negative emojis when they can do far more destruction to a person's mental health? These emojis weren't here a couple of years ago. People can use them and hide behind their own made up identity. We have now keyboard warriors/worriers within our own beloved OTIB community. 

I don't have a problem if people want to say that I'm talking rubbish or that I was out of order with a quip as that should prompt dialogue to resolve any potential conflicts. But to get negative emojis currently when I'm feeling worthless, useless etc has really affected me. A snowflake, me? I don't think so but what I would like to suggest expecially as we have others on here who are struggling with personal issues and loss of jobs through Covid, is that we do something about it especially after Mental Health Week. May I suggest that the negative emojis are withdrawn from OTIB? 

Thank you for reading. Please comment below and try not to use any negative emojis!

Great post Norn - very brave too. Proud of you fella, stay strong and keep going ...

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16 hours ago, And Its Smith said:

@Red Army 75 you are blocked now so you can stop aubergining all my posts for no reason. Good thread for you to read as well 

 

16 hours ago, Red Army 75 said:

You have been blocked for a while. But you keep appearing. 

Time and a place guys? 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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2 hours ago, chinapig said:

It seems to me that if the only way someone can respond to a poster they disagree with is abuse, including by using an emoji, they have lost the argument anyway.

That’s very true but if you’re feeling low and vulnerable negative emojis can have quite an impact on your self worth.

On the other hand if you’re feeling well and in good spirits it’s easy enough to ignore them.

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1 hour ago, exAtyeoMax said:

I think the problem is how one interprets emojis. Sometimes they can be used in jest, and then the same one as an attack. Are they aimed at the post or the poster? 

I was quite miffed a couple of months ago by what I interpreted as a passive aggressive 'angry emoji' on FB! I thought it was unnecessary…and lazy. I don't know the person personally, so couldn't judge what they actually meant. 

Some people are just blunt, tactless and not very diplomatic, they type how they speak… I try not to take their replies to heart (which is difficult sometimes if you're feeling down)

 

I think with social media that people just type what they think, with the filter removed! 

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1 minute ago, Midred said:

I think with social media that people just type what they think, with the filter removed! 

Yes, YT and FB is appalling. The way people talk to each other on there! 

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