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Never feel alone, It's good to talk !!


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Why the flames on my post? 

I wasn't having go at Phantom. 

I absolutely agree with his post. I was just pointing out that some people, and they may be friends of yours, won't call you so it's a reminder to us all that while we are always available to our mates, take a moment to give them a call. 

I'm sorry if it seems I was negative. I genuinely believe that sometimes it's better to check in rather than wait too long for a call that may not come. 

Edited by Midlands Robin
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1 minute ago, Midlands Robin said:

Why the flames on my post? 

I wasn't having go at Phantom. 

I absolutely agree with his post. I was just pointing out that some people, and they may be friends of yours, won't call you so it's a reminder to us all that why we are always available to out mates, take a moment to give them a call. 

I'm sorry if it seems I was negative. I genuinely believe that sometimes it's better to check in rather than wait too long for a call that may not come. 

I think that the flames actually mean that people agree wholeheartedly with your post rather than in the negative. 

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16 minutes ago, Midlands Robin said:

Why the flames on my post? 

I wasn't having go at Phantom. 

I absolutely agree with his post. I was just pointing out that some people, and they may be friends of yours, won't call you so it's a reminder to us all that while we are always available to our mates, take a moment to give them a call. 

I'm sorry if it seems I was negative. I genuinely believe that sometimes it's better to check in rather than wait too long for a call that may not come. 

Flames are the best type of feedback mate! It means you’re on fire... rather than burn in hell! 😂😂😂

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8 hours ago, Midlands Robin said:

Great post. 

One thing I'd like to add to this, everyone, it's great to tell people you are always there to lend an ear and talk but please, please make sure if you know anyone who is struggling, has struggled in the past or you have any concerns, pick up the phone and give them a call. 

I see a lot of people who say "I'm there for you, call me if you need" but a lot of people facing dark times won't do that. They will be too worried they'll be judged, won't want to bother you or are so down they can't even face the effort of picking up the phone. 

Give your friends a call. Give people you know are on their own a call. Take 5 minutes of your time just to check in and say "Hi mate, how are things?" 

That could really make the difference to someone's day. 

Great post MR, the last thing you feel like doing when you are down is talk about it

Generally people who haven’t been there don’t get it and don’t understand why the person hasn’t opened up 

I’ve been in an ongoing situation ( not the right word) most of my life and have some great friends who support me but they still get frustrated with me for not talking about it when I go into hibernation mode 

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43 minutes ago, Fordy62 said:

Flames are the best type of feedback mate! It means you’re on fire... rather than burn in hell! 😂😂😂

I thought flames meant that you we’re stoking up a debate.

Depression is an illness and it is very easy to slide into a deep hole that is difficult to get out of.

A kind word or action cannot cure the malady but can be the catalyst that reignites the belief in oneself.

Life could be so much better if people were just a tiny bit kinder. 
Let’s try to be less agressive and more understanding of other’s faults or opinions because we are all wonderfully imperfect.

I will take this moment to thank you all for your continued and various exchanges on this forum.

Have a safe and happy Christmas.

Love to all the OTIB family.

 

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8 hours ago, Midlands Robin said:

Great post. 

One thing I'd like to add to this, everyone, it's great to tell people you are always there to lend an ear and talk but please, please make sure if you know anyone who is struggling, has struggled in the past or you have any concerns, pick up the phone and give them a call. 

I see a lot of people who say "I'm there for you, call me if you need" but a lot of people facing dark times won't do that. They will be too worried they'll be judged, won't want to bother you or are so down they can't even face the effort of picking up the phone. 

Give your friends a call. Give people you know are on their own a call. Take 5 minutes of your time just to check in and say "Hi mate, how are things?" 

That could really make the difference to someone's day. 

A great message there MR, I lost my mother this year & because of covid I was unable to make my trip back to the UK to say my goodbyes. Losing a loved one is awful at anytime but these circumstances made it so difficult to accept. I had my immediate family in Oz but calls from friends made a hell of a difference to me. It doesn't sound much to call someone but it does help so call your friends, please!!!

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49 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

I thought flames meant that you we’re stoking up a debate.

Depression is an illness and it is very easy to slide into a deep hole that is difficult to get out of.

A kind word or action cannot cure the malady but can be the catalyst that reignites the belief in oneself.

Life could be so much better if people were just a tiny bit kinder. 
Let’s try to be less agressive and more understanding of other’s faults or opinions because we are all wonderfully imperfect.

I will take this moment to thank you all for your continued and various exchanges on this forum.

Have a safe and happy Christmas.

Love to all the OTIB family.

 

I’m sorry major there wasn’t a hint of aggression in what I wrote... but I suppose that’s the nature of the written word!

 

I echo everything you say. 

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21 hours ago, phantom said:

We can all agree 2020 has been a year like no other any of us have experienced before, and with that has brought many added pressures to people at a time of year where suicide rates increase. 

Please, if you feel alone or are struggling, try to talk to someone. Life might not always feel like living and you may feel like you are at rock bottom, but the world is a much better place with you in it.

Personally this site really helps me, I have really low and negative days but keeping in touch with the Bristol City family is a massive thing. 

If anyone ever feels alone, please reach out.

You can message me, or one of the many other supportive posters on here, or even talk to someone.

I won't divulge personal information but I can't thank those people enough that have picked up when I've been struggling and taken the time to message me.

We come from all backgrounds, beliefs, age groups and football teams etc, but I believe everyone on here would look out for a friend in need.

 

A few of the Bristol City social media accounts shared the below today. 

Hopefully it'll also appear on the official website too.

 

20201222_232548.jpg

20201222_232614.jpg

Can't thank you enough for putting that up it is very important to have someone to talk to when you are feeling very low. I've had a very bad year and got really desperate and contacted a fellow red on here. Can't thank him enough for his chat and advice and for just listening to what i was going through. It encourage me to seek further help with my depression. So thank you again

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59 minutes ago, Major Isewater said:

I thought flames meant that you we’re stoking up a debate.

Depression is an illness and it is very easy to slide into a deep hole that is difficult to get out of.

A kind word or action cannot cure the malady but can be the catalyst that reignites the belief in oneself.

Life could be so much better if people were just a tiny bit kinder. 
Let’s try to be less agressive and more understanding of other’s faults or opinions because we are all wonderfully imperfect.

I will take this moment to thank you all for your continued and various exchanges on this forum.

Have a safe and happy Christmas.

Love to all the OTIB family.

 

I think this is the problem with emoji's we each have our own definition of what they are, flames to me are/were a positive an aubergine was a much maligned member of the squash family but very nice bbq'd but still had a negative meaning on here :dunno:

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2 hours ago, bpexile said:

A great message there MR, I lost my mother this year & because of covid I was unable to make my trip back to the UK to say my goodbyes. Losing a loved one is awful at anytime but these circumstances made it so difficult to accept. I had my immediate family in Oz but calls from friends made a hell of a difference to me. It doesn't sound much to call someone but it does help so call your friends, please!!!

I have the opposite as my Mum has just been transferred from Victor Harbor to Flinders in Adelaide in the paliative care unit. Want to visit but just can't. She's been told she only has a couple of weeks left. Feeling devastated.

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46 minutes ago, BigTone said:

I have the opposite as my Mum has just been transferred from Victor Harbor to Flinders in Adelaide in the paliative care unit. Want to visit but just can't. She's been told she only has a couple of weeks left. Feeling devastated.

I'm very sorry to hear that bigTone.

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4 hours ago, Midlands Robin said:

Why the flames on my post? 

I wasn't having go at Phantom. 

I absolutely agree with his post. I was just pointing out that some people, and they may be friends of yours, won't call you so it's a reminder to us all that while we are always available to our mates, take a moment to give them a call. 

I'm sorry if it seems I was negative. I genuinely believe that sometimes it's better to check in rather than wait too long for a call that may not come. 

Flames - On Fire / red hot ie.  Top Post mate

 

You (so astutely) highlighted one of the absolute key things in how to help 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

 

I won’t go into why , but you are so so so on the mark -

 

make the call , .........don’t ever risk wishing you had 

 

Edited by Sheltons Army
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1 hour ago, BigTone said:

I have the opposite as my Mum has just been transferred from Victor Harbor to Flinders in Adelaide in the paliative care unit. Want to visit but just can't. She's been told she only has a couple of weeks left. Feeling devastated.

That’s awful Tone -

There was an added cruel twist and trauma when my mother was diagnosed terminally ill 

So my deepest sympathies & thoughts fella , such a tough time , so cruel 

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2 hours ago, Sheltons Army said:

Flames - On Fire / red hot ie.  Top Post mate

 

You (so astutely) highlighted one of the absolute key things in how to help 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

 

I won’t go into why , but you are so so so on the mark -

 

make the call , .........don’t ever risk wishing you had 

 

Sorry for the emoji misunderstanding and thanks for the compliment. 

All the best. MR. 

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5 hours ago, BigTone said:

I have the opposite as my Mum has just been transferred from Victor Harbor to Flinders in Adelaide in the paliative care unit. Want to visit but just can't. She's been told she only has a couple of weeks left. Feeling devastated.

So sorry to hear that Tone, it is very difficult to accept mate but I hope you have family & friends close to you to help you through a difficult time. My mum used to say "You just have to get on with life" which is so true but not easy is it. It makes us appreciate things more important than football.

Our thoughts are with you mate

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3 hours ago, bpexile said:

So sorry to hear that Tone, it is very difficult to accept mate but I hope you have family & friends close to you to help you through a difficult time. My mum used to say "You just have to get on with life" which is so true but not easy is it. It makes us appreciate things more important than football.

Our thoughts are with you mate

Just me and the Wife here and she's unwell also. Just got to grin and get on with it.

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1 hour ago, BigTone said:

Just me and the Wife here and she's unwell also. Just got to grin and get on with it.

I only know you through the small insight this forum provides Tone, but even that has been enough - from some of your recent posts - to indicate to me things may not going as well for a normally cheery contributor as they might be.

Very sorry to hear about the agonising situation with your Mum and my very best wishes to you.

 

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Hope you all have a good Christmas despite all the crap that has gone on and continues to go on. If ever anyone needs a chat then please PM me anytime. Sometimes I think it can be easier talking to people you don't really know than those you do as it's easier to offload.

Perhaps when all this is over we can all meet up for a pint and a laugh.

Be good and mostly stay safe.

Happy Christmas 

Tony

PS: @JulieHasked that I share her xmas pic with you all..

womens-santa-sweetie-costume.jpg.cf.jpg

Edited by BigTone
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On 24/12/2020 at 06:27, BigTone said:

I have the opposite as my Mum has just been transferred from Victor Harbor to Flinders in Adelaide in the paliative care unit. Want to visit but just can't. She's been told she only has a couple of weeks left. Feeling devastated.

Hi BigTone, you did previously mention your mum was getting worse. Moving her up from Vic Harbor to Flinders means she will be getting the best care possible. And with your wife sick as well you must feel devastated. 

Those of us that are spread around the world and having family and friends at such difficult times and not being able to see them is a feeling of pain and even frustration.

BigTone the most important thing is you need to stay positive and keep talking to people around you.

I wish you all the best.

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1 hour ago, City oz said:

Hi BigTone, you did previously mention your mum was getting worse. Moving her up from Vic Harbor to Flinders means she will be getting the best care possible. And with your wife sick as well you must feel devastated. 

Those of us that are spread around the world and having family and friends at such difficult times and not being able to see them is a feeling of pain and even frustration.

BigTone the most important thing is you need to stay positive and keep talking to people around you.

I wish you all the best.

Thanks, and thanks for your kind words. As I write she is due to have a procedure to remove fluid from her lungs. You are 100% correct that she will be getting better care in Flinders rather than the small country hospital that is Victor.

My family all live in Seaford on the southern outskirts of Adelaide so Dad has gone to stay with my Sister. Problem is he is 96 so is not handling the situation too well. Mum is 91.

We are worried that when Mum passes (which is inevitable) that he will just pine away also. He is not in great health either and each day is a bonus if he stays vertical rather than horizontal with the falls he has.

Normally I visit twice a year for 4 weeks but obviously can't do so now. Just want to be with them and do my bit to help. That is probably my biggest downer at the moment. I fully appreciate and understand the situation but my inability to be there for them is eating away at me.

Wife is due an op on 7th Jan but they have assured us it's nothing terminal which is a relief. In the meantime though she needs my assistance also as her mobility is very restricted.

Trying my best to remain positive but have good & bad moments.

No wonder I drink !!!

Edited by BigTone
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2 hours ago, BigTone said:

Thanks, and thanks for your kind words. As I write she is due to have a procedure to remove fluid from her lungs. You are 100% correct that she will be getting better care in Flinders rather than the small country hospital that is Victor.

My family all live in Seaford on the southern outskirts of Adelaide so Dad has gone to stay with my Sister. Problem is he is 96 so is not handling the situation too well. Mum is 91.

We are worried that when Mum passes (which is inevitable) that he will just pine away also. He is not in great health either and each day is a bonus if he stays vertical rather than horizontal with the falls he has.

Normally I visit twice a year for 4 weeks but obviously can't do so now. Just want to be with them and do my bit to help. That is probably my biggest downer at the moment. I fully appreciate and understand the situation but my inability to be there for them is eating away at me.

Wife is due an op on 7th Jan but they have assured us it's nothing terminal which is a relief. In the meantime though she needs my assistance also as her mobility is very restricted.

Trying my best to remain positive but have good & bad moments.

No wonder I drink !!!

Condensed version....thinking of you BigTone.  Stay strong mate.

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