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On 20/05/2021 at 12:43, BigTone said:

Some good news to report for once. Wife (aka BigBitch) saw Specialist yesterday and they managed to remove all of the cancer. No further treatment required. Happy days

Great news Tone.Give a cuddle from me.

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On 25/04/2021 at 12:23, The Batman said:

Update. 

Yesterday was an all round good day. 

Rovers relegated and then Swindon relegated. 

Between their games, I received an email from the courts advising that my divorce petition has been accepted so the ball has started rolling now. 

Had a Thatchers Gold last night to celebrate. First cider I've had in a very long time. Tried to stay off the alcohol but felt it was worth it last night. 

Further update. 

Now getting to the crux of the matter now. 

She's said all along that she's not interested in any of my money or assets because they're mine. We're at the point where we have to declare our income, savings, pensions etc. Now we will know if it's just another load of BS lies she's told or whether she's stuck to her guns. 

Also, she doesn't have many friends, 2 of them have broken rank and spoken to me saying how they don't believe a word of what she said to them and how disgusted they are with her. So it's not just my family, friends, circle of people etc, those on her side are too. Her sister saw through her the moment it all came out as well. I imagine her mum and dad are pissed off to but can't admit it out loud because they have to support their daughter. 

Honestly, it's like the woman I fell in love with, married, mothered our child, and devoted and sacrificed so much time, effort and resource to, just doesn't exist any more. Some phoenix has risen who just resembles her a tad. 

I'm on sleeping medication now. I tried so hard to stay off it and just get to sleep naturally but nothing was working and I didn't have a good night's sleep for 6 weeks. Been on it 3 nights now and I've slept through each night thankfully. My worry is that I'll believe that I'll need it every night going forward so I just need to wean off it slowly but surely. 

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@Batman The good news is you’re getting divorce proceedings moving. Like you say you’ll soon know either way whether she’s BSing about not being interested in assets/money etc. Either way you’ll be free to move on with your life once financial ties are broken. It will be one less worry in the back of your mind.

I can relate to bad sleep problems. I’ve tried the herbal sleeping tablets a few times for short periods and they certainly help. I share your concerns about coming to rely on them.
 

Sounds like you’re on the right track now, although of course  tends to be ups and downs along the way. Keep going. 

 

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8 hours ago, MrBibs said:

@Batman The good news is you’re getting divorce proceedings moving. Like you say you’ll soon know either way whether she’s BSing about not being interested in assets/money etc. Either way you’ll be free to move on with your life once financial ties are broken. It will be one less worry in the back of your mind.

I can relate to bad sleep problems. I’ve tried the herbal sleeping tablets a few times for short periods and they certainly help. I share your concerns about coming to rely on them.
 

Sounds like you’re on the right track now, although of course  tends to be ups and downs along the way. Keep going. 

 

Cheers Mr B. 

I'm honestly dreading hearing back as to what she plans to do. It is so sad because when we were together, she could stand in the middle of trafalgar Square and yell "the sky is made of ice cream and jelly" and I've have stood by her. Now I'm hugely skeptical of everything she says so once it is in writing and she's signed the documentation, then it'll be a huge relief. I know she'll come after it because she is a lying failure, but it'll be such a huge satisfying feeling if she doesn't. I don't mind being wrong on this. ?

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@Batman - hopefully the sleeping tablets will gradually regulate your body into normal sleeping habits again.  Don't add to your stress at the moment by worrying about how long you will need them for.

It's amazing how a much loved spouse/partner can change in such a short space of time.  I experienced the same with my ex, I've since found out that he lied on the financial declaration when we divorced, as he was actually buying the property he lived in, which he said was rented.  We'd lost our marital home when his business failed - I was stupid enough to sign it over to guarantee a business loan.  When he left we were living in a privately rented house, and I moved in with my parents, so that I could save a deposit to get back on the property ladder.  I never wanted my son to be homeless again - the ex tried to have his child support payments reduced, as my outgoings were reduced due to living with parents!  At the point of divorce, he'd built a considerable amount of equity in his new property, as he'd been in a position financially to buy when the property market bottomed out.

I would never have believed it possible that he could behave like this after 18 happy years together.  I try to get solace from the fact that everything I've achieved since has been done off my own back, and I have a fantastic relationship with my son, who appreciates the fact that I went without things in order to get us where we are today.

I hope that your wife sticks to what she has said, and the divorce can come to an amiable conclusion.  If she is using a solicitor, I fear that they may push her to get what she can - hope that I'm wrong on that one.

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On 20/05/2021 at 12:43, BigTone said:

Some good news to report for once. Wife (aka BigBitch) saw Specialist yesterday and they managed to remove all of the cancer. No further treatment required. Happy days

I'd been thinking about you and how you and your wife were so was so pleased to read this.

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On 14/05/2021 at 20:30, KevP said:

Saw your post last night which you've since taken down. Hope you're feeling better now after your date and hope your mate is ok. Were all in this together pal and look out for each other....Things always seem worse in the dark of night I find.....The daylight brings a little more hope usually. .COYR.?

Apologies @KevP I had missed this reply. 

Thanks for the post ?

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2 hours ago, Midred said:

I'd been thinking about you and how you and your wife were so was so pleased to read this.

Thanks for that.  My turn now.  In hospital today to have scans etc.  Having my right knee replaced in September and then my left knee next March (2022). I really cannot wait to get it done. To celebrate we have tentatively booked a world cruise for Jan 2023.  Something to work towards and look forward to.

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1 hour ago, BigTone said:

Thanks for that.  My turn now.  In hospital today to have scans etc.  Having my right knee replaced in September and then my left knee next March (2022). I really cannot wait to get it done. To celebrate we have tentatively booked a world cruise for Jan 2023.  Something to work towards and look forward to.

Don't come on holiday with Me, my brother in Law had his done and he came on holiday with us we marched him up hill and down again (small hills but not if you've had you knees done) 

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On 26/05/2021 at 17:26, In the Net said:

@Batman - hopefully the sleeping tablets will gradually regulate your body into normal sleeping habits again.  Don't add to your stress at the moment by worrying about how long you will need them for.

It's amazing how a much loved spouse/partner can change in such a short space of time.  I experienced the same with my ex, I've since found out that he lied on the financial declaration when we divorced, as he was actually buying the property he lived in, which he said was rented.  We'd lost our marital home when his business failed - I was stupid enough to sign it over to guarantee a business loan.  When he left we were living in a privately rented house, and I moved in with my parents, so that I could save a deposit to get back on the property ladder.  I never wanted my son to be homeless again - the ex tried to have his child support payments reduced, as my outgoings were reduced due to living with parents!  At the point of divorce, he'd built a considerable amount of equity in his new property, as he'd been in a position financially to buy when the property market bottomed out.

I would never have believed it possible that he could behave like this after 18 happy years together.  I try to get solace from the fact that everything I've achieved since has been done off my own back, and I have a fantastic relationship with my son, who appreciates the fact that I went without things in order to get us where we are today.

I hope that your wife sticks to what she has said, and the divorce can come to an amiable conclusion.  If she is using a solicitor, I fear that they may push her to get what she can - hope that I'm wrong on that one.

Sorry for the delayed response, I've only just seen this. People keep tagging the wrong batman ???

Since my last post, she has signed the necessary documentation and sent it back to the solicitor dealing with the order. She didn't show a solicitor in the end. Probably because, as you say, they'd tell her she'd be entitled to xyz. So that's something at least. 

I've not taken any sleeping medication for a few nights now and bar waking up at 3 this morning, I did get back to sleep pretty quickly so I am hoping I won't be needing them any longer. 

I am sorry to have read of your situation too. Its so worrying how we can trust someone like that and then they be so deceitful. And well done for all that you have achieved since. Your son is very proud I am sure. 

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7 hours ago, The Batman said:

Sorry for the delayed response, I've only just seen this. People keep tagging the wrong batman ???

Since my last post, she has signed the necessary documentation and sent it back to the solicitor dealing with the order. She didn't show a solicitor in the end. Probably because, as you say, they'd tell her she'd be entitled to xyz. So that's something at least. 

I've not taken any sleeping medication for a few nights now and bar waking up at 3 this morning, I did get back to sleep pretty quickly so I am hoping I won't be needing them any longer. 

I am sorry to have read of your situation too. Its so worrying how we can trust someone like that and then they be so deceitful. And well done for all that you have achieved since. Your son is very proud I am sure. 

Great to hear positive news on the signing of the papers and an improvement in sleeping  - onwards and upwards, even if it may be small steps at a time. 

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19 hours ago, The Batman said:

Sorry for the delayed response, I've only just seen this. People keep tagging the wrong batman ???

Since my last post, she has signed the necessary documentation and sent it back to the solicitor dealing with the order. She didn't show a solicitor in the end. Probably because, as you say, they'd tell her she'd be entitled to xyz. So that's something at least. 

I've not taken any sleeping medication for a few nights now and bar waking up at 3 this morning, I did get back to sleep pretty quickly so I am hoping I won't be needing them any longer. 

I am sorry to have read of your situation too. Its so worrying how we can trust someone like that and then they be so deceitful. And well done for all that you have achieved since. Your son is very proud I am sure. 

Your sleep pattern should slowly get back to normal...if you wake at 3 so be it......the more you think about it the more it will keep you awake. I often wake at 2 or 3 and just think "oh well, I'm awake, so what ?"...... to then slip back to sleep for a few more hours. The times I've had a quick look on this forum early hours, you'd be surprised how many people are online at that time so we aren't alone...? 

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1 hour ago, KevP said:

Your sleep pattern should slowly get back to normal...if you wake at 3 so be it......the more you think about it the more it will keep you awake. I often wake at 2 or 3 and just think "oh well, I'm awake, so what ?"...... to then slip back to sleep for a few more hours. The times I've had a quick look on this forum early hours, you'd be surprised how many people are online at that time so we aren't alone...? 

That's true. I always thought it was more shift workers but suppose it could well be that and I've just assumed. 

I made a decision never to look at my phone in the event I stay on it for ages. 

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1 hour ago, KevP said:

Your sleep pattern should slowly get back to normal...if you wake at 3 so be it......the more you think about it the more it will keep you awake. I often wake at 2 or 3 and just think "oh well, I'm awake, so what ?"...... to then slip back to sleep for a few more hours. The times I've had a quick look on this forum early hours, you'd be surprised how many people are online at that time so we aren't alone...? 

Absolutely right Kev. 

Most of us have had sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives and the more you worry the worse it becomes. It’s an issue I’ve had on and off all my adult life and these days if I wake in the early hours I just think “oh well”get up, empty my bladder and back to bed and sleep. We do actually need less sleep as we age and it’s quite normal  to wake during the night - I can’t remember the last time I slept all night.

 

 

 

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8 hours ago, Robbored said:

Absolutely right Kev. 

Most of us have had sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives and the more you worry the worse it becomes. It’s an issue I’ve had on and off all my adult life and these days if I wake in the early hours I just think “oh well”get up, empty my bladder and back to bed and sleep. We do actually need less sleep as we age and it’s quite normal  to wake during the night - I can’t remember the last time I slept all night.

 

 

 

I normally wake circa 3am most nights for about an hour and then doze off again.  I also have Sleep Apnoea so need to use CPAP at night. As for emptying my bladder at night my mattress absorbs most so no great problem !!

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7 hours ago, BigTone said:

I normally wake circa 3am most nights for about an hour and then doze off again.  I also have Sleep Apnoea so need to use CPAP at night. As for emptying my bladder at night my mattress absorbs most so no great problem !!

I do 3 am for a pee then back to sleep sorry you have a bigger problem 

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As a person who struggles with my mental health on a daily basis, I have taken upon myself to get out more and go for walks etc. I have recently been hooked on watching wild camping videos on YouTube and it has inspired me to do the same. It really has lifted my spirits

This Friday I will be doing my first solo wild camp on dartmoor. Hopefully the peace and quiet and the lovely views will be great for the mind.  

Hope you're all good out there

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1 hour ago, Waffleflap said:

As a person who struggles with my mental health on a daily basis, I have taken upon myself to get out more and go for walks etc. I have recently been hooked on watching wild camping videos on YouTube and it has inspired me to do the same. It really has lifted my spirits

This Friday I will be doing my first solo wild camp on dartmoor. Hopefully the peace and quiet and the lovely views will be great for the mind.  

Hope you're all good out there

Hope you have a good time. Good luck.

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On 04/06/2021 at 00:24, BigTone said:

I normally wake circa 3am most nights for about an hour and then doze off again.  I also have Sleep Apnoea so need to use CPAP at night. As for emptying my bladder at night my mattress absorbs most so no great problem !!

Just make sure you sleep in the shallow end Tone, no probs then :thumbsup:

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4 hours ago, Waffleflap said:

As a person who struggles with my mental health on a daily basis, I have taken upon myself to get out more and go for walks etc. I have recently been hooked on watching wild camping videos on YouTube and it has inspired me to do the same. It really has lifted my spirits

This Friday I will be doing my first solo wild camp on dartmoor. Hopefully the peace and quiet and the lovely views will be great for the mind.  

Hope you're all good out there

Weather on Dartmoor at the weekend looks really good.

Have a great time!

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54 minutes ago, Nogbad the Bad said:

Weather on Dartmoor at the weekend looks really good.

Have a great time!

Unfortunately I'm only doing the one night on Friday and it's a bit cooler. Kind of glad cause ill boil in me tent

 

28 minutes ago, RalphMilnesLeftFoot said:

Have a great time, just remember to let people know where your going, your proposed return time and  what to do if you miss any check ins. 

 

Thanks. Yeah, I've been doing my wife's head in about it for months. She knows everything about it :laugh:

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7 hours ago, Waffleflap said:

As a person who struggles with my mental health on a daily basis, I have taken upon myself to get out more and go for walks etc. I have recently been hooked on watching wild camping videos on YouTube and it has inspired me to do the same. It really has lifted my spirits

This Friday I will be doing my first solo wild camp on dartmoor. Hopefully the peace and quiet and the lovely views will be great for the mind.  

Hope you're all good out there

Have a great trip but don't take your Black Mountains map instead of the Dartmoor one like I once did! Oh, forgot about all the modern gizzmos these days.

When asked what I enjoy most about walking Dartmoor I always reply " the helicopter ride home".

7 hours ago, Waffleflap said:

As a person who struggles with my mental health on a daily basis, I have taken upon myself to get out more and go for walks etc. I have recently been hooked on watching wild camping videos on YouTube and it has inspired me to do the same. It really has lifted my spirits

This Friday I will be doing my first solo wild camp on dartmoor. Hopefully the peace and quiet and the lovely views will be great for the mind.  

Hope you're all good out there

Have a great trip but don't take your Black Mountains map instead of the Dartmoor one like I once did! Oh, forgot about all the modern gizzmos these days.

When asked what I enjoy most about walking Dartmoor I always reply " the helicopter ride home".

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7 hours ago, Waffleflap said:

As a person who struggles with my mental health on a daily basis, I have taken upon myself to get out more and go for walks etc. I have recently been hooked on watching wild camping videos on YouTube and it has inspired me to do the same. It really has lifted my spirits

This Friday I will be doing my first solo wild camp on dartmoor. Hopefully the peace and quiet and the lovely views will be great for the mind.  

Hope you're all good out there

I have also become obsessed recently with these kind of videos and am keen to try it out for myself as well! 

I'm sure you're aware of Steve Wallis (Camping with Steve) he does stealth camping in Canada, there's also a localish guy from Salisbury that's doing roundabout wild camps ? no where near the size of channel that Steve Wallis is but still enjoyable. 

Enjoy your attempt on Dartmoor.

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1 hour ago, redysteadygo said:

Have a great trip but don't take your Black Mountains map instead of the Dartmoor one like I once did! Oh, forgot about all the modern gizzmos these days.

When asked what I enjoy most about walking Dartmoor I always reply " the helicopter ride home".

Have a great trip but don't take your Black Mountains map instead of the Dartmoor one like I once did! Oh, forgot about all the modern gizzmos these days.

When asked what I enjoy most about walking Dartmoor I always reply " the helicopter ride home".

I'm literally parking in Merrivale and camping at Great mis tor. Hopefully even I can't mess that up. I did check to see if the army were about tomorrow but thankfully they're not 

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1 hour ago, OneTeamInBristol said:

I have also become obsessed recently with these kind of videos and am keen to try it out for myself as well! 

I'm sure you're aware of Steve Wallis (Camping with Steve) he does stealth camping in Canada, there's also a localish guy from Salisbury that's doing roundabout wild camps ? no where near the size of channel that Steve Wallis is but still enjoyable. 

Enjoy your attempt on Dartmoor.

Funny you should say that. I watched the roundabout lad last night. Fair play to him. Mental. I  follow summit or nothing and hazeoutdoors which were the ones that got me right into it. Seems like everyone is doing it . 

I'll do the further stuff when I got someone with me just incase 

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