Never feel alone, It's good to talk !!

[In the Net]

7 hours ago, Mr Popodopolous said:

Well I made a long 2nd post that I accidentally lost.

Latterly I decided that something was amiss here so I decided to do a bit of due diligence, which ironically I should have done in the first instance- I have done a research based role in the past, I am quite good at it.

Anyway what I discovered turned hurt to laughter and as I said to some friends in a WhatsApp chat 'I'm just laughing at this point'.

Turns out for one that her name wasn't quite as she said, albeit of the same first letter. Fine I get that, risky to put full details on some kinda site like that especially for a woman.

The second thing that I discovered was the laughter. Seems that she is engaged or similar?? Would explain a few things but it would kinda be nice to have known instead of wasting a number of months!?

I am unsure what she wanted on there, unsure she herself knows as she appears to be some combo of pansexual, yet within traditional marriage but at the same time bisexual. Her bio said 'open relationship' but some of the other bits made that less clear.

Not like I was particularly out of pocket- a taxi or 2 and a couple of cocktails each, paid for by me of course but I learnt two significant and valuable lessons..prep properly for meets, I'm miles better now and do some due-dilligence BEFORE a meet, which again I seek to do.

What struck me was how little I did before hand ie none whatsoever in this case. I must have been very taken with her to just disregard any kinda caution or small research to see if anything didn't stack up.

They work in different cities so I wonder how much HE knows about her profile on that dating site, certainly no photos link back to anywhere else. Outside possibility that the person I met was somehow spoofing the original too? All very strange.

If she's looking for friendship on there, it's good to meet new people why not but make it a little clearer both in actions and perhaps how you show up on the night. Maybe I'm well out of it!!

Linked to Part 1, there was a fair bit of self-flagellation, some mood swings- not a good place to be. Plenty of deep dive analysis too, I was beating myself up a bit over (metaphorically) my blunders etc. Although these revelations paint that in a different light.

Life eh, sometimes throws up scripts that would be rejected in fictional plays or whatever!! Lives that some people lead...

Definitely dodged a bullet there, the boyfriend might be an MMA expert - and it's all good prep for the next time.

Plus you have a funny "disasterous date" story to tell - it made me laugh (sorry, I do sympathise as well).  

Good luck. 

 

[Mr Popodopolous]

1 hour ago, In the Net said:

Definitely dodged a bullet there, the boyfriend might be an MMA expert - and it's all good prep for the next time.

Plus you have a funny "disasterous date" story to tell - it made me laugh (sorry, I do sympathise as well).  

Good luck. 

 

Haha I think so...fairly sure he isn't but a little more advanced than boyfriend as they seem to have been engaged for some time..yes problem swerved.

Few weeks ago, wouldn't have been humorous but yes it is rather amusing, oh join the club a bit- told a few friends at a Beer Festival in London. Perhaps the bigger factor was 2 hrs of alcohol  However they were rolling in the aisles a bit the way I told it. We all laughed it out a bit and it helped. They were supportive too of course.

Thanks- lessons learned.

Edited August 19, 2022 by Mr Popodopolous

[Red-Robbo]

6 hours ago, Tafkarmlf said:

Major update from me

Got suddenly made redundant yesterday. 

This year is a 'gift' that keeps giving

 

Hope you get fixed up again very soon, T. 

[In the Net]

7 hours ago, Tafkarmlf said:

Major update from me

Got suddenly made redundant yesterday. 

This year is a 'gift' that keeps giving

I hope that you can get something sorted too - it could be a whole new beginning. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, In the Net said:

I hope that you can get something sorted too - it could be a whole new beginning. 

Exactly this its not the end its a whole new beginning; it may seem a pain in the arse atm as it seemed when I was made redundant, but that company went down the pan shortly after and I have not been out of work for even a day since.

[Hxj]

On 09/09/2022 at 08:37, Tafkarmlf said:

Got suddenly made redundant yesterday. 

Best thing that ever happened to me.  Treat it as an opportunity not a problem.

[BigTone]

On 09/09/2022 at 09:37, Tafkarmlf said:

Major update from me

Got suddenly made redundant yesterday. 

This year is a 'gift' that keeps giving

New start for a new and happy future

[BigTone]

My Dad who lives in Adelaide turned 97 in August.  About 10 days ago he had a fall in the supermarket breaking some ribs. Last weekend he had another fall and has damaged his shoulder. It just seems that nothing is going ok for him.  I want to visit but I am waiting for knee replacement surgery and am currently on crutches.  Life can be shit.

On the upside we have taken another rescue dog following the death of Amber a few months back. Let me introduce you to 10 year old Helios who is a Spaniel / Collie cross.  He is just adorable and has certainly filled a very empty void and has given us many happy days in such a short time.  Animals really can be great for ones well being both physical but especially mental.

[In the Net]

Sorry to hear about your Dad, and even more so that the current situation with your knee prevents you from visiting him.  Must be very hard, when you just want to be with him at a difficult time.

The "like" on your post was for Amber, he's a very handsome boy - many happy times ahead I'm sure.  Adopted my little rescue dog 7 years ago, she's just turned 15, she came to us with one eye, sadly lost her sight in that one during an illness a couple of weeks ago - she's gradually finding her way around the house, but walks are rather daunting.  She's got other health problems, but the vet has said that it's ok to continue with pallative care at the moment, as she's eating well and still asking for treats - final decision was left to me, of course we brought her home.  Totally agree with you that dogs are so good for our mental health - she has literally been my saviour at times.  

[redrum]

Great pics @BigTone

What a fine looking hound. Agreed, pets are great for mental health. Whether I've had a good or bad day, love my morning and evening walk with the dog.

[myol'man]

Any help out there for someone who's partner is suffering? 

[phantom]

This is a really powerful and thought provoking image

[Mr Popodopolous]

Not really delving back in too far but quite happy to say over my situation now. Update of small interest.

Someone I know came across her on said site and curiously she has neglected to update the fact that- remember two people same number so it could also be a spoof of someone and cannot rule it out- she's neglected to update a minor thing. Friend asked me if that I was the person I was moaning about and I said '*Yes! Steer clear...or go there if you dare!" Ultimately I advised the whole steer clear thing.

The minor detail? That she's married! Simply still says Open Relationship but no change to bio a couple of pics aside...could be leading a double life of some kind methinks, certainly don't intend to find out but a lot still doesn't stack up. Bullet dodged for sure.

*Whether he does steer clear is for him and him alone to work out. I can advise but his call ultimately.

Edited September 21, 2022 by Mr Popodopolous

[RiderJake]

On 21/09/2022 at 13:27, Mr Popodopolous said:

Not really delving back in too far but quite happy to say over my situation now. Update of small interest.

Someone I know came across her on said site and curiously she has neglected to update the fact that- remember two people same number so it could also be a spoof of someone and cannot rule it out- she's neglected to update a minor thing. Friend asked me if that I was the person I was moaning about and I said '*Yes! Steer clear...or go there if you dare!" Ultimately I advised the whole steer clear thing.

The minor detail? That she's married! Simply still says Open Relationship but no change to bio a couple of pics aside...could be leading a double life of some kind methinks, certainly don't intend to find out but a lot still doesn't stack up. Bullet dodged for sure.

*Whether he does steer clear is for him and him alone to work out. I can advise but his call ultimately.

It seems she didn't forget to update a minor detail, but intentionally didn't update it. I'm not sure, but that's what it looks like. It's that type of woman

[Mr Popodopolous]

2 hours ago, RiderJake said:

It seems she didn't forget to update a minor detail, but intentionally didn't update it. I'm not sure, but that's what it looks like. It's that type of woman

I was being fairly diplomatic! When you put it like that..

All that said, 'the lives some people lead eh', is how I'd sum it up. There's a lot that I won't say about the saga.

Just part of life's rich tapestry isn't it.

Edited October 3, 2022 by Mr Popodopolous

[phantom]

[Super]

Just noticed this on the City FB page

 

Just in case anyone is interested and heard the half time talk about Robins talk mental health sessions.

We meet up every Wednesday 6-7 at the imperial sports ground to play some football, after we go and have a drink together and have a chat. You don’t have to talk about your problems if you don’t want too, but it’s a place where people understand what your going through and we all help each other. I can’t recommend it enough if your struggling.

It’s a totally free session and no pressure at all.

Please feel free to just come along or recommend to anyone you feel may benefit from this.

If anyone wants any more info please drop me a message.

COYR

I will add there is all sorts of levels of ability so don’t think you have to be great at football to come along it’s all about enjoying it and being there for each other.

[City Rocker]

On 05/10/2022 at 13:56, phantom said:

Liam Gallagher has partnered with the BS3 -based mens' mental health charity Talk Club on his new single Too Good For Giving Up.

Great song, really powerful video, aimed at preventing men from suicide. 

[Hxj]

On 19/09/2022 at 17:37, phantom said:

This is a really powerful and thought provoking image

Still brings a tear to my eye.

[In the Net]

On 15/10/2022 at 22:11, City Rocker said:

Liam Gallagher has partnered with the BS3 -based mens' mental health charity Talk Club on his new single Too Good For Giving Up.

Great song, really powerful video, aimed at preventing men from suicide. 

 

Wow - found that very moving. - as you say, both the song and video are thought provoking. 

Any idea how he came to partner up with the charity?

[Mattredrobin]

On 13/10/2022 at 11:20, Super said:

Just noticed this on the City FB page

 

Just in case anyone is interested and heard the half time talk about Robins talk mental health sessions.

We meet up every Wednesday 6-7 at the imperial sports ground to play some football, after we go and have a drink together and have a chat. You don’t have to talk about your problems if you don’t want too, but it’s a place where people understand what your going through and we all help each other. I can’t recommend it enough if your struggling.

It’s a totally free session and no pressure at all.

Please feel free to just come along or recommend to anyone you feel may benefit from this.

If anyone wants any more info please drop me a message.

COYR

I will add there is all sorts of levels of ability so don’t think you have to be great at football to come along it’s all about enjoying it and being there for each other.

Really good idea would love to take part but sadly can't make wednesdays

[City Rocker]

On 17/10/2022 at 19:47, In the Net said:

Wow - found that very moving. - as you say, both the song and video are thought provoking. 

Any idea how he came to partner up with the charity?

Liam revealed that he has lost a few friends to suicide recently and he wanted to do something about it, to back a cause that would make a difference. Sounds like he knew someone who was a Talk Club member.

[Pippintogg]

On 19/09/2022 at 08:41, myol'man said:

Any help out there for someone who's partner is suffering? 

I am a psychotherapist and am happy for you to message me to find out more. Hope for another 3 points away today. 

[Mr Popodopolous]

I don't wish to dwell on things too much now but occasionally think of a) My experience and b) Subsequent discoveries which I posted a bit about on here- usually when I'm a bit bored, or at a loose end. Am mostly fine at this juncture.

Do wonder looking back if the person I referenced on here and I don't wish to assassinate the character of someone, let alone someone I only knew for a few months, and only knew what they told me, but I do sometimes wonder whether she was a bit of a narcissist or whether she had some tendencies towards, narcissism.

Not so much the big ego, but a few of the other traits. Dodged a bullet as I know but the whole her being married thing was...interesting!

16 day notice period, yes her choice clearly, absolutely but I question the empathy aspect. Then again as I won't go into again, I was fairly shambolic on the evening so perhaps that 16 day notice thing was merited and we all have busy lives after all.

Could also put her ignoring on the site (we eventually blocked each other) some polite and accepting messages for at least a chat about things while accepting the situation for what it was, but then again there's a case to be made, that I could have 'read the room' a bit better and waited for longer for this. I know that she saw them and ignored them, again her choice.

Anyway I certainly read some of this stuff out of interest after things went South.

Otoh she kept good aspects of her life secret so that reduces the narcissism probably. Depends which sites you read too!

Edited October 23, 2022 by Mr Popodopolous

[In the Net]

4 hours ago, Tafkarmlf said:

This year continues to be shit. 

One of my mates died over the weekend unexpectedly. She has an 11 year old kid, no stuff in place to help etc. Was only a few years ago we we're helping her through uni to be a social worker. 

Kept my partner and a few others alive this weekend after mental health episodes, them going missing and utter drama and devastation. 

Jesus Christ

 

 

Jeez, that is a tough weekend, that poor 11 year old girl, so young to lose a parent.  It sounds as though you've helped a few people to keep going, not always easy to do - you're obviously a good person.

For some reason, the black cloud has descended around me - just can't shake it off. 

[phantom]

I am sure those of us that not only post but also read this thread take great strength from the open and honest posts that are shared

I am looking for some assistance please, each month on a zoom call we take it in turns to host a 60 minute section where we have different discussions, I am scheduled to host the call in December.

I was wondering if anyone has any links to any sites or even a short video that discusses being alone at Christmas and supporting those who need help?

I have had a look at the webinars that I have been on this year but they are not really what I am looking for

I would be VERY grateful for any assistance

[2015]

Me and the ex broke up 6 weeks ago and haven't spoke since. Been a very hard time, not just with the break up but even financially as had to get rid of my car recently too because of the cost of living etc. 

I'm an overthinker and quite sensitive so I find it hard to stop myself from thinking the very worst and being impulsive.

Try and look at the flip side of things, the positive is a few years ago I'd have said something I'd have regretted, this time I've just walked away and started doing things to improve my life.

There is always a positive side to a situation.

[BigTone]

3 hours ago, 2015 said:

Me and the ex broke up 6 weeks ago and haven't spoke since. Been a very hard time, not just with the break up but even financially as had to get rid of my car recently too because of the cost of living etc. 

I'm an overthinker and quite sensitive so I find it hard to stop myself from thinking the very worst and being impulsive.

Try and look at the flip side of things, the positive is a few years ago I'd have said something I'd have regretted, this time I've just walked away and started doing things to improve my life.

There is always a positive side to a situation.

Sorry to hear your situation but how you are handling it should be applauded. Things will look up and things will get better and the future will shine bright. All the best and good luck.

[In the Net]

On 01/11/2022 at 10:45, phantom said:

I am sure those of us that not only post but also read this thread take great strength from the open and honest posts that are shared

I am looking for some assistance please, each month on a zoom call we take it in turns to host a 60 minute section where we have different discussions, I am scheduled to host the call in December.

I was wondering if anyone has any links to any sites or even a short video that discusses being alone at Christmas and supporting those who need help?

I have had a look at the webinars that I have been on this year but they are not really what I am looking for

I would be VERY grateful for any assistance

I haven't got any links, however, I did experience being on my own last Christmas. 

My way of dealing with it was to pretend that it was just an ordinary day. I slobbed around in my PJ's, ate normal food (cheese and onion roll for lunch!), watched TV programmes on streaming sites so that I didn't see any of "Christmas Specials", didn't open any of the presents my family had given me.  I found it was an enormous relief not to have the pressure of being "ho ho ho" all day, and to do exactly as I pleased - I felt really relaxed and refreshed on Boxing Day, and enjoyed opening my presents then.

I will confess that my one nod to it being Christmas Day was to eat a lot of chocolate. 

[Slacker]

28 minutes ago, In the Net said:

I haven't got any links, however, I did experience being on my own last Christmas. 

My way of dealing with it was to pretend that it was just an ordinary day. I slobbed around in my PJ's, ate normal food (cheese and onion roll for lunch!), watched TV programmes on streaming sites so that I didn't see any of "Christmas Specials", didn't open any of the presents my family had given me.  I found it was an enormous relief not to have the pressure of being "ho ho ho" all day, and to do exactly as I pleased - I felt really relaxed and refreshed on Boxing Day, and enjoyed opening my presents then.

I will confess that my one nod to it being Christmas Day was to eat a lot of chocolate. 

Hope you have a better one this year Nettie.And everyone else going through a tough time.