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within two days my maternal grandfather had a major stroke and a great Auntie had a minor stroke my great Auntie died of a catastrophic stroke two weeks later my grandfather(brought me  my first pint in London)) lasted for 6 years Longer) my fathers death  hit me harder than my mothers  but I loved my mother more ?

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13 minutes ago, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

Condolences on your loss. Enjoy that drink and raise a glass to the good times. 

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1 hour ago, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

Sorry to hear that awful news Tone

Nothing anyone says,  will really ease any pain , but from personal experience , the relief that they are free from suffering is very much something to be thankful for

Having said that , we only have one Mum and Dad and losing them is extremely painful and doesn’t leave us but no one can take away years of memories 

Thoughts Tone with you , your siblings and your Dad

Edited by Sheltons Army
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16 hours ago, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you can find comfort from the memories you have of your mum. 

Edited by Dottie
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On 24/01/2021 at 13:51, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

I did wonder what was happening BT but it felt rather crass to ask.

My sincerest condolences to your good self and your family Sir.

Try to remember the good times eh. 

Edited by Ska Junkie
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On 24/01/2021 at 13:51, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

So sad for your loss @BigTone, I'm sure everyone on the OTIB forum (and beyond) sends their condolences to you and your family.  Important to remember the good times you had together, rather than the (maybe) painful ones towards the end. Will raise a glass this eve.

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On 24/01/2021 at 13:51, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

Thoughts are with you and your family mate.

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On 24/01/2021 at 13:51, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

so sorry to here that big tone my condolences to you and your family,

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Hello @BigTone.

They never leave you because good parents leave good children who will never forget them.

My parents both died around forty years ago and together with my first wife who passed on twenty years ago, I often think of them. 

They would not want you to not live your life to the full because they are no longer alive.

You never get over it but time is a healer and so remember the good times you had with them.

Always feel free to pm me if you want.

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On 24/01/2021 at 13:51, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

Really sorry to hear your sad news.

Condolences to you and yours.

 

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Better Tomorrow.
 
2020, normally eyes and your vision, not covid, death and division.
 
This nasty old virus is trying to condemn us, to stagnation and deprivation.
 
The virus won't beat us, Sir Tom Moore and science are with us.
 
Our doctors and nurses are armed with their vaccines, to scratch us and save us.
 
 
They've now got the tools, the people aren't fools, we'll soon have a chance to party and dance.
 
Old Covid is fighting but not quite as frightening, it changes to fool us but we can survive this.
 
 
Keep forcing it back with care and creation, we'll soon be the winners, let's unite the nation.
 
So when you feel down, get rid of that frown, it won't be too long to go into in town.
 
Get rid of that sorrow, it'll be better tomorrow, I know, Sir Tom said so.
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Possibly one of the greatest ever threads on OTIB. I have read it, but not yet contributed. Why now? Well I don't know,  but that doesn't matter.

 

I have been really down for several months for numerous reasons. Sometimes coming to OTIB helps... sometimes it doesn't. But this thread reminds me that there are some really wonderful people in the world. I have had ups and downs and left and rights over the last 6 months. I have seen myself get very close to ending up in some extremely dark places, and at points questioning life. What is life? How valuable is life? Is life worth living? It was scary, very scary.

 

The most important thing I have done in my life is reach out to family, and friends, and to tell them how I'm feeling. Even last night I messaged a friend at 9pm to say "Not so good, just needed to get in touch with someone". We were then on the phone for almost an hour, and I felt better afterwards. 

 

I was scared of getting professional help. It made me feel weak. A failure. Someone who couldn't live a life. All this even though I have had counselling before. You feel embarrassed (Even though you don't need to tell anyone you still do).

 

I did it. I picked up the phone in and I made that call. I want help. I need help. Am I better? No not yet, it can be a long road, but I am beginning to see things in a different light. I am now at a stage where I can fight those dark thoughts rather than absorb them and end up falling in to a bigger, deeper, darker hole.

 

Hesitant about reaching out to others? Unsure if you should get professional help? Do you feel sad or embarrassed that you have got to this place? Don't be. It's human nature to help other humans. Someone will be there for you....

 

Always.

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On 25/01/2021 at 00:21, BigTone said:

Thanks to you all for your kind words regarding my situation & especially those who took time to PM me.

Sadly Mum lost her battle this morning and is now at peace. I managed to speak with her on Friday for about 5 mins which was nice.

Whilst obviously upset I am also pleased that she is no longer suffering.

Now having a glass of Champagne in her memory.

Hi Big Tone, I've only just picked up on this sad news mate, so sorry for your loss. My situation was similar to yours in that it happened in another country that was impossible to get to because of covid, as many have said the memories can never be taken away mate.

Our thoughts are with you so Stay Strong & Stay Safe Tone.

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15 minutes ago, bpexile said:

Hi Big Tone, I've only just picked up on this sad news mate, so sorry for your loss. My situation was similar to yours in that it happened in another country that was impossible to get to because of covid, as many have said the memories can never be taken away mate.

Our thoughts are with you so Stay Strong & Stay Safe Tone.

Am totally at peace now as she is no longer suffering. Still get upset but that's normal. Problem now is my 96yo Dad who's life has been upended. Gone to live with my Sister in Seaford near Noarlunga but not sure he has the will to continue much longer. Mums ashes and death cert arrived on Friday and all he wanted to do was buy her a red rose for Valentine's day like he has each time for 72 years. Shed a tear I must admit.

Edited by BigTone
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2 minutes ago, BigTone said:

Am totally at peace now as she is no longer suffering. Still get upset but that's normal. Problem now is my 96yo Dad who's life has been upended. Gone to live with my Sister in Seaford near Norlunga but not sure he has the will to continue much longer. Mums ashes and death cert arrived on Friday and all he wanted to do was buy her a red rose for Valentine's day like he has each time for 72 years. Shed a tear I must admit.

Wow Tone, big lump in my throat now, my mum used to say that the pain is only with the people that remain, so true. Also my dear old Grandad used to tell me that "Someone only dies when there's no-one left to remember them". When I was younger I often used to think about that one of Grandads but at my age I know exactly what he meant.

As always stay safe mate.

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On 14/02/2021 at 20:50, BigTone said:

Am totally at peace now as she is no longer suffering. Still get upset but that's normal. Problem now is my 96yo Dad who's life has been upended. Gone to live with my Sister in Seaford near Noarlunga but not sure he has the will to continue much longer. Mums ashes and death cert arrived on Friday and all he wanted to do was buy her a red rose for Valentine's day like he has each time for 72 years. Shed a tear I must admit.

Thoughts with you Tone

The pain doesn’t stop - Feel for you and your sister and you’re poor Dad so much

Doesnt matter how physically strong you are - it hurts like nothing else

The best saying I heard was

Everyday is a bad day to start , then you have the odd better day , and gradually you start to have more better days than bad ones ‘

Thoughts mate 

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On 15/02/2021 at 21:59, Sheltons Army said:

Thoughts with you Tone

The pain doesn’t stop - Feel for you and your sister and you’re poor Dad so much

Doesnt matter how physically strong you are - it hurts like nothing else

The best saying I heard was

Everyday is a bad day to start , then you have the odd better day , and gradually you start to have more better days than bad ones ‘

Thoughts mate 

 

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4 minutes ago, BigTone said:

 

I am sorting out her UK pension etc. Her death cert arrived today and made me think that 91 years of life gets summarized onto an A4 piece of paper. Made me sad I must admit.

Edited by BigTone
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14 hours ago, BigTone said:

I am sorting out her UK pension etc. Her death cert arrived today and made me think that 91 years of life gets summarized onto an A4 piece of paper. Made me sad I must admit.

My thoughts are with you Tone, it is so hard on the ones left behind. Take care.

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15 hours ago, BigTone said:

I am sorting out her UK pension etc. Her death cert arrived today and made me think that 91 years of life gets summarized onto an A4 piece of paper. Made me sad I must admit.

It's a horrible thing to go through.
Deepest sympathy to you @BigTone.
Stay strong, fella.

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6 minutes ago, Red7 said:

It's a horrible thing to go through.
Deepest sympathy to you @BigTone.
Stay strong, fella.

Got worse today. Wife had to go back to the surgeon today following her operation a few weeks back and she apparently has cancer. Now needs more surgery and radiation therapy. What a feckin year !!!

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3 hours ago, BigTone said:

Got worse today. Wife had to go back to the surgeon today following her operation a few weeks back and she apparently has cancer. Now needs more surgery and radiation therapy. What a feckin year !!!

We've got your back with this one Tone. Anytime you need to talk your OTIB friends will be here.

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On 17/02/2021 at 13:46, BigTone said:

Got worse today. Wife had to go back to the surgeon today following her operation a few weeks back and she apparently has cancer. Now needs more surgery and radiation therapy. What a feckin year !!!

Oh FFS Tone. Hope she can get treated soon and it works. Big hugs x

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