pongo88 Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 3 hours ago, 1960maaan said: After a drunken conversation in a pub, I had already left earlier, we started a team . Good fun, decent drinking team but no organisation, our centre back was know to get caught offside when he got carried away. Anyway, my mate booked Lockleaze slopes for our home pitch, we didn't like it, but teams playing us hated it, wasn't called the slopes for nothing. I've literally just found a couple of photos that I don't remember at all, gives an idea of the slope though, look at the crossbar. The very promising striker on the ball is me at about 29/30. I played on the slope at Lockleaze, a couple of times, and without a doubt it was the worse pitch in Bristol. At the time I played on the wing which made crossing the ball “interesting”. When playing at the top of the slope all I had to do was hit a low cross and it arrived at head height by the time the ball reached the penalty spot. When playing at the bottom of the slope hitting a high cross was almost impossible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomThumb84 Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 6 hours ago, Davefevs said: Haha that reminds me. When I was at Odd Down, we played away at Taunton. My CB partner went off after an hour (Lennox Cornwall if any of you recall him from Lebeq fame). Was he injured? Nope, was off to London for a rave! Recall him?! I recall racing to get on a post at corners rather than leave to chance I might have to go against him in the air! Cadbury Heath he was at the time I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomThumb84 Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 17 hours ago, big dosser said: funny you should say that dave ,i was playing for ellwood against patchway around 1994 last game of the season i think at home,after the game as i walked off and took my shirt off,2 fans of patchway gas noticed my tattoo on my back and decided to give me a early shower with spit, which i thought was so lovely and thoughtful of them. What happened next lets just say i bet they have never spat on anyone again and the colour red suited them Ellwood v. Patchway Town, now there was a fixture back in the mid-late ninieties! And not for the feint-hearted, I played in the County League at that time (not for either of the mentioned) and a warm welcome was always extended to Bristol clubs from our friends in the Forest! The locals ensured the game was often played on a pitch that ended up about 40 feet wide. I started at right back and after all sorts of abuse I would more often that not end up as one of four centre-halves with our left-back doing the same! Great days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davefevs Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 7 minutes ago, TomThumb84 said: Ellwood v. Patchway Town, now there was a fixture back in the mid-late ninieties! And not for the feint-hearted, I played in the County League at that time (not for either of the mentioned) and a warm welcome was always extended to Bristol clubs from our friends in the Forest! The locals ensured the game was often played on a pitch that ended up about 40 feet wide. I started at right back and after all sorts of abuse I would more often that not end up as one of four centre-halves with our left-back doing the same! Great days! The Somerset Senior equivalent was Peasedown St John…..I wiped out a whole load of them along the touch line, coming across from CB to make a clearance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glynriley Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 5 hours ago, 1960maaan said: After a drunken conversation in a pub, I had already left earlier, we started a team . Good fun, decent drinking team but no organisation, our centre back was know to get caught offside when he got carried away. Anyway, my mate booked Lockleaze slopes for our home pitch, we didn't like it, but teams playing us hated it, wasn't called the slopes for nothing. I've literally just found a couple of photos that I don't remember at all, gives an idea of the slope though, look at the crossbar. The very promising striker on the ball is me at about 29/30. Ah, The Bell. I turned out at right back for you for a couple of seasons. Evening Michael..!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheese Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 Was 21 and playing in goal in a friendly at Bitton. Got clattered by a forward from a corner which hurt - but not half as much as when me mum tried to come onto the pitch to try and belt the guy with her umbrella!! In another game, I'd been winding up the oppo striker all game. We really should have lost but drew 0-0 thanks to their woeful finishing and I somehow got in the way of a couple too! Anyway, after the game, one guy tried to lamp me with a right hook and then another came into the dressing room and threw his boots at me - they weren't my size unfortunately! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redysteadygo Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 Our Reserve team had to play a County Cup game in deepest Somerset. Can't remember all the detail but having hired a mini coach due to the expected bar session after the game they set off following the directions supplied by the home team. When near to the destination they appeared to be lost because they hadn't passed The Elm Tree a marker on the route supplied. On stopping and asking the way, no Google in them days or sat navs, a local redirected them to the ground. Their mistake was down to not finding The Elm Tree and then forking left as instructed. Being townies they were looking for a pub of that name not an actual elm tree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murraysrightplum Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 On 31/05/2021 at 21:44, Davefevs said: Got gobbed on at Barnstaple by a spectator whilst warming up as sub. Pleasant! Serves you right for not being in the first 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davefevs Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 16 minutes ago, Murraysrightplum said: Serves you right for not being in the first 11 Didn’t get on either. Semi-final of League Cup, Easter Monday, having been in the stiffs on Good Friday. Travelled all the way down there to not get on the pitch, lost 3-2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcfcredandwhite Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 A couple of funny stories: Playing in the Wiltshire league, last game of the season, the ref never turned up. We debated with the opposition and as neither of us had anything to gain or lose from the game we agreed to submit a 0-0 draw to the FA, then played out a good-natured friendly followed by a few beers! Another occasion, different team but still in the Wiltshire league, a very good friend of mine who is an Indian Sikh (he won’t mind me posting this) agreed to cover as a ‘ringer’ when we were short of players one game. Our captain told him ‘if the ref asks, your name is James Smith’ (the name of the player he was replacing). He replied in an exasperated voice FFS do I actually look like a James Smith?!! Everyone collapsed with laughter!! I still can’t remember how that was resolved - but he played in the game and no questions were asked!! Finally I was playing 5-a-side just after moving to Swindon and I went in goal for the first stint so I could check out the abilities of the guys I was playing with. Most of them turned out exactly as you would expect; the muscular boys were strong, the small guys were nimble and quick ........ and there was a fat sweaty guy wearing beach shorts and ordinary cloth plimsolls instead of Astro’s. That fat guy was absolutely brilliant. He could take on 3 of us and score with backheels. I was embarrassed to actually play in the same game as him because he was so good. It turned out that he was an ex pro who played for Motherwell in the Scottish Prem. He told me that he couldn’t hold down a regular place in the first team because he was an absolute p155 head and couldn’t stay sober or keep his weight down. What a waste!! He really was that good. It was a privilege to play with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fordy62 Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 At the age of about 10, I saw one of the U16’s win a throw in deep inside the opposition half. As an opposition player turned away from him, he threw it against his back and the ball rolled back to him and he whipped in a dangerous cross. A couple of weeks later I was invited to a mate’s (Gas) birthday party. His dad had arranged a football tournament on their farmland. I won a throw in deep inside their half and thought I’d try the old throw in trick myself. Only I didn’t wait for him to turn his back. I threw it full on as hard as I could and it hit him in the face. He cried. At his own birthday. I wasn’t popular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRock Posted June 1, 2021 Report Share Posted June 1, 2021 On the basis of a shortage of referees and and drawing the short straw, I had to referee an important top of the table college match. A complete virgin at such things I trotted - with some trepidation - out on to the pitch. Thinking I had to be decisive and show who was boss, I thought I’d impose myself. First decision, be firm. So, after 20 seconds my opportunity arose. Ball out of play. Throw in. Whistled (don’t know why) and firm arm out pointing an away side throw. Which was completely and utterly wrong as it was clearly a home side throw. Problem was my brain hadn’t quite decided who was kicking in which direction. Anyhow, despite a few mutterings, I’d made my decision so stuck with it. Things got worse, to the degree that by 20 minutes it was near complete anarchy. Indeed, I was only a shout away from being crucified as, when the home team scored a headed goal I blew to disallow it as I was sure there had been a push. Nobody though, to my utter astonishment, appealed for a foul from the away team. Shit, what do I do? So I thought just pretend I blew for the goal ..so quietly then wandered back to the centre spot with the home team celebrating the only goal in the match. Lessons learnt 1) never attempt to referee again and 2) as a player always appeal ( which is a **** annoying habit and cheating but undoubtedly does influence some decisions). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oh Louie louie Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 Can anybody, tell me please, there was a tv show, one episode, set up north. 2 sunday leauge, teams and a comical ref, who had a nickname. They were always trying to bribe him with chewing gum, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big dosser Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 13 hours ago, TomThumb84 said: Ellwood v. Patchway Town, now there was a fixture back in the mid-late ninieties! And not for the feint-hearted, I played in the County League at that time (not for either of the mentioned) and a warm welcome was always extended to Bristol clubs from our friends in the Forest! The locals ensured the game was often played on a pitch that ended up about 40 feet wide. I started at right back and after all sorts of abuse I would more often that not end up as one of four centre-halves with our left-back doing the same! Great days! must have played against you at some point i played for ellwood and harrow hill in the county league in the 90s,got promoted to the hellenic with harrow hill. Watch alot of Broadwell in the county league now but by god the standard has dropped. Always found all the bristol clubs great only issues we had was patchway and wotton.you are right many sides did not like coming to the forest as the fans would watch holding a pitch fork :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big dosser Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 a few crackers here 2nd one will be hard to beat :laugh: got studded once by a player wearing golf shoes still got the scars not sure if any of you have ever heard of a side called cheq city from Gloucester they used to play in tredworth,running down the wing i thought i got stung by a wasp only to find out there right back stabbed me in the leg with a dart, are full back had a fag stubbed out on him,they had a old chap behind are goal with a rottie teasing are goalkeeper, are cb gut smacked with a lad wearing a knuckle duster and had 2 players playing that was 21 and 23 a well know lad called everton coke and genius this was under 18s lucky for us some of the parents that came to watch us got no fear. I thank a lot of my mates parents to this day. this all happened in one game. they was the maddest crazy team i have ever played against,no surprise they did not last to long one of them games that that story has been told many times over the years in the forest and im sure will be told for many years to come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pearcy Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 Back when I was at school we played in a inter school tournament. We took two teams, our A team and our B team (made up of the players who never got picked to represent the school in the A team). I was in the B team. Both of our teams were rubbish and finished bottom of their leagues so we had to playoff against each other for the wooden spoon. The B team beat the A team 1 nil, thanks to a perfect cross from myself. I know we don't see professional matches between teams in this country, but they do it in other countries like Spain. I remember a few years ago Real Madrid played their B team in the cup final and hammered them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big C Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 Playing up on the Downs and the final whistle goes so our left back picks up the ball. The only problem was the whistle was on the pitch next to us and our left back was in our penalty area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballwinningcentrehalf Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 One season our team decided to go with joint-player-managers. They both also had the same first name which often added to the confusion. Before a cup game, as we were warming up, manager 1 came over to remind us that we could forget about our poor league form, and that winning the cup should now be our number one target for the rest of the season. That we should put everything into our most important game of the season. With us feeling motivated and ready to go, he strolled over to speak to the referee, at which point manager 2 appeared and told us how this was a nothing game for us, it was all about trying to turn our league form around next week and we should just go out and have fun in the cup as it didn't mean anything. I'm sure you can all imagine how well our season went with such clear and concise messages from the management team! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenkibby. Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 22 hours ago, 1960maaan said: After a drunken conversation in a pub, I had already left earlier, we started a team . Good fun, decent drinking team but no organisation, our centre back was know to get caught offside when he got carried away. Anyway, my mate booked Lockleaze slopes for our home pitch, we didn't like it, but teams playing us hated it, wasn't called the slopes for nothing. I've literally just found a couple of photos that I don't remember at all, gives an idea of the slope though, look at the crossbar. The very promising striker on the ball is me at about 29/30. That would be one of the best pitches in Torquay, King George V playing fields and Stoodley Knowle were horrendous, all sloping end to end and the Stoodley pitchs so narrow if you fell forward taking a throw in you would end up in the box. Torquay is just all hills and apart from Plainmoor Windmill Hill was the only flat pitch i can remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcfcredandwhite Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 21 hours ago, TedsHeadIs Red said: This is a weird one. I’ve been supporting a team for some time now. By the end of the 2019-20 season things had been going wrong for quite a while so they sacked the manager. Took six weeks to think about the next appointment but ended up giving the job to the previous assistant who had no experience of actually managing. He was useless so they sacked him too (helluva nice bloke though). Next was some billy big bollox who had seen it all before but the club gave him a trial run just to be sure. Didn’t win any of his last 10 games so what did the club do? Signed him on for 3 years! Weird innit? Actually, I think you'll find that the 'useless' assistant (nice bloke) might have earned us more points that the 'Billy Big Bollox'...? I'm sure someone will confirm.... It's a funny old game...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Numero Uno Posted June 2, 2021 Report Share Posted June 2, 2021 20 hours ago, Davefevs said: The Somerset Senior equivalent was Peasedown St John…..I wiped out a whole load of them along the touch line, coming across from CB to make a clearance! Hillbillies up there................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fgrsimon Posted June 3, 2021 Report Share Posted June 3, 2021 At Primary School played for Amberley v Brimscombe. The ref was a Brimscombe teacher, he gave a penalty for our keeper handling the ball outside the penalty area and we lost by the one goal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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