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Condiment Commandments


The dastardly red

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Sausage sandwich is mustard and ketchup 

Pies are mustard, gravy and mint sauces, and ketchup 

Bacon sandwich is ketchup 

Full English is ketchup and brown

Beans on toast is brown

Burger is relish and mayo

Kebab is chilli plus garlic mayo

Supermarket pizza is ketchup 

Takeaway pizza is garlic and herb dip

 

Thank you for your time

 

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  • Bacon sandwiches - red Source.
  • Sausage sandwiches the next day after you cooked them - HP Source.
  • Ham sandwiches - Mustard pickles.
  • Chip sandwiches- shit loads of butter and red Source.
  • Black pudding sandwiches - HP Source.
  • Kangaroo (skippy sangers) - BBQ Source and salt.
  • Croc sangers - seafood dressing.
  • Chees and raw onion sangers - mid morning tea when you have a hangover - Branston Pickle.
  • Salmon sandwiches - if the missues made you do something you have not done for years. Oh with tooth pics 
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32 minutes ago, Lanterne Rouge said:

Red Source on pretty much everything unless it`s a cold sausage sandwich in which case it`s Branston. Just lemon juice on a kebab though as I don`t do chilli.

Got to have chilli Source on a chicken kebab, it’s not worth eating otherwise. 

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1 hour ago, TonyTonyTony said:

Wife has vinegar on Broccoli and salad cream on scrambled egg

Also coleslaw on toast and Branston on her pizza.

Yes I know. Weirdo

 

30 minutes ago, redsquirrel said:

?

Not so weird!

Try lightly boiled, i.e. still crunchy, broccoli with garlic and (a splash of) cider vinegar.

Marvellous.

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4 hours ago, Slacker said:

Are you people equally spontaneous in other aspects of your life?

I used to know this artist/sculptor who fancied himself as a bit of a maverick when it came to condiments. In the pub or caff he'd go all crazy and put vinegar on his toast, salad cream on his sausages , that kind of thing. He'd always bang on about how he just lived for the day and how spontaneity was what set him apart from most other people. He'd say that part of his success as an artist was his ability to tune in to his raw emotions exactly at the point that he experienced them and then "just roll with them". I saw him put mayo in porridge once.

I got chatting to his girlfriend at a festival and she told me that at home the only condiment he ever used was ketchup and that he'd put it on pretty much everything he ate. She said that they took acid one night and he spent two hours crying and telling her that he hated eating out with our group because he always felt he had to put on a show and all he really wanted to do was eat his food how he would at home. 

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16 hours ago, AppyDAZE said:

To cut the sausages in half length wise in a sandwich, or to eat them rounded?

 

Depends how many you have. If you have 3 sausages and they cover the whole piece of bread then wonderful, if you have 2, and they fall a bit short then half them IMO.

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