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Bristol R*vers dustbin thread


42nite

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5 minutes ago, havanatopia said:

We apologise for the interruption to this broadcast. Normal boring discussion will be resumed shortly. For now sit back and enjoy something completely different.

P_20171210_201538_vHDR_On.thumb.jpg.0b2a01f77253b1c1220c152578d7db84.jpg

How beautifully soothing. No sign of gas leaks here.

Is that what the mem will look like in five years time? After Steve`s bought it and turned it into a Community Park?

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3 hours ago, Miah Dennehy said:

Don't worry, once we have our new stadium/modified stadium/bigger tents I will be back, then you will al be sorry you took the piss :)

How are things going south of the river btw, is LJ a little more popular these days?

Are you really Thatch in disguise? You both seem to appear when we're losing games, and go strangely quiet when we're winning?!!!

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Changing the theme;

Read  yesterday in a national newspaper that Bristol Rovers FC are being investigated for paying some of their employees under the minimum wage rate. Not sure if players are included.

Two other clubs were being looked at for the same reason. The one that stood out was Wolves and I think the other was Wycombe Wanderers.

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I really think this discussion about tents could actually be the precursor to the Gas playing in the desert of Jordan. With their quality, strength in depth and clearly talented manager they could even win the title of Jordan's Premier League. After all Al Faisaly seem to win it every year. They must be desperate for somebody else to win it. Go get em Rovers.

And since all the teams in their 12 team Premier league are called Al something we should really christian Rovers from this day forth as Al-Gas. Full of hot air indeed.

Edited by havanatopia
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5 minutes ago, havanatopia said:

I really think this discussion about tents could actually be the precursor to the Gas playing in the desert of Jordan. With their quality, strength in depth and clearly talented manager they could even win the title of Jordan's Premier League. After all Al Faisaly seem to win it every year. They must be desperate for somebody else to win it. Go get em Rovers.

Their top scorer could  change his name to Billy Bedouin. 

Edited by glynriley
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2 hours ago, Bar BS3 said:

Ah, so you hadn’t actually gone away. You were just waiting until you’d won a couple of games. 

No wonder we’d not seen you for so long..!

Well I was going to wait for 3 wins in a row but I really have been missing you all and didn't want to miss out on any Xmas presents you may be sending me  (Any single malt will be fine btw)

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The gas have announced that they are releasing a film called 'The life of Wally', like everything else about the gas it's a complete rip off of some obscure Monty Python film whose name escapes me, but some of it has already leaked on to the inter web accidentally leaked by a complete bullshitter who has told the world that he repairs computers and sometimes at a very holy place called Ashton Gate.

Picture the scene Wally is being carried down Gloucester Road and he drops a gourd (the gourd was representative of a trophy but the gas had sold all of theirs) and then one of his shoes falls off.

Henbury Gas: Hail Messiah!

Wally: I'm not the Messiah!

Henbury Gas: I say You are, Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

FOLLOWERS: Hail Messiah!

Wally: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!

Miah: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

Wally: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

FOLLOWERS: He is! He is the Messiah!

Wally: Now, **** off!

Henbury Gas: How shall we **** off lord

Wally: Oh, just go away! Leave me alone.

Wally: glances at his really nice watch, reclaims his Ipad from Henbury Gas who had been repairing it after it had crashed during the sermon on Hanham Mount, where Wally had preached to the multitudes with at least 2 million locked out and he produced his latest miracle of turning fine wine into piss and thought to him himself 'thank **** Chelsea are home tonight and i've got a season ticket".

Wally: Where the **** is Dwane?.

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  •                                                                                        

  •                                                                                                The Proforma Affair

     

    The sad passing of Christine Keeler last week brought back memories of an early 1960’s scandal involving Bristol Rovers which became known as “The Proforma Affair”. This sordid episode set in motion a long term decline of the club which can be traced to the day when an unfortunate case of mistaken identity led to us being forced to sell our prized asset Stephen “Dai” Ward to Cardiff City.

    It all began when Rovers’ director John Hare received an invitation to attend a kinky party held at a stately home near London and, knowing my penchant for stately homes, asked me to stand in for him. In those days I had no trouble standing and was pleased to help out but soon after arrival I discovered that our John had been confused with a prominent minister in the Government who shared the same name. Never one to refuse a challenge I carried on regardless and was quickly chatting to a highly successful banking tycoon from the Middle East who seemed very keen to assist with  our plan to move from the training ground at the back of the Black Swan car park to a state of the art facility in South Gloucestershire.

    Mind altering drugs were in their infancy then and were packaged in a remarkably similarly way to Rennies so when I woke up next morning in bed with a girl called Mandy Rice - Krispies it was hardly surprising that I could recall nothing of the night before.  And when I was later taken by limousine to a solicitor’s office at Chipping Sodbury I had no inkling that the land purchase papers I signed on behalf of a Jersey company were part of a devious plot to alter the balance of power in British football. But before the week was out a danger existed that my name and that of Bristol Rovers would be forever linked with failure to pay debts as and when they become due in one of the first cases of solvency abuse to hit the United Kingdom.

    At that time the Middle East, in economic terms, was a neglected backwater with the oil boom not yet underway and the West Bank a tiny sub post office just outside Petra. But politically it was a hot bed due in no small part to the success of the local electric blanket industry. And we at Bristol Rovers were merely prawns in this game of intrigue but, lacking any marie rose Source, extremely vulnerable to being blackmailed into supporting the application of Amman Disunited to join the football league.

    Within days bills started to arrive for goods and services supplied to that blasted overgrown field. Goat hooks, hedge fund trimmers, metal fences, metal mickeys, youth opportunity scheme kids, all came by the lorry load. And we had no way of paying for them because the promised suitcase full of used dinars had not turned up. Matters came to a head when a delegation of vendors, tax officials and the PFA arrived at our office demanding proforma payments in advance and threatening to name and shame us if we did not cough up.

    After 80 years of existence our histrionic club was in danger of being forced out of business because of those unscrupulous Arabian schemers who deliberately risked our integrity just to satisfy a desire to have their name read out on the BBC Light Programme Sports Report. But fortunately we still had one ace up our sleeve.  Top scorer Dai Ward was sold to Cardiff, the bills were paid and with the help of the military attache at the Soviet Embassy in Saint Helier we managed to have the mysterious offshore company wound up and ownership of the field transferred into the name of Bristol Rovers.   

    I spent many a happy minute in that cosy Portakabin at the Hambrook training ground  as Christine Keeler would have been delighted to testify.

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5 hours ago, Bristol Rob said:

Just watching Football On 5.

Are Rovers secretly hosting rugby matches on the side?

Their pitch looks like it has been ploughed. Maybe the championship ready sprinklers have a leak.

 

Believe it or not their first team train on it sometimes - if it was in good condition then fair enough, but as it is.... go figure.

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