Why do you care so much?

[spudski]

Just interested compared to myself so no malice.

I guess I'm an average supporter. Played football, and lived  for football all through my formative years and into 20's. Found girls, beer and marriage.

Watched and played...found other interests etc.

Continued watching city when life circumstances allowed. On and off season ticket holder.

In later years when watching rather than playing became the norm, meeting with pals, having some banter and a few beers and watching City took over for fun...that was what we did.

After so many years of following...owners, managers, players, excuses...at what point did it become a chore, rather than something that was enjoyable, where you worked all week and went back to work on Monday feeling good about life?

I read this forum and speak to mates and there is an underlying theme. It's ingrained...from youth, from family...years of following, often through habit. Stuck in a rut, nothing better to do, anything to get away from the missus. Escapism...thinking of the good ol' days. Let's face it...so much is compared to the past when circumstances at the time were fun.

And we constantly compare to the past.

Now...being middle aged. I ask myself...why am I so interested?

Watching and supporting a team I have no control over.

The deeper you get involved, the more it affects your mood. You watch, listen, read other people's thoughts. Some are so into it... literally sharing every thought and passion on a forum to randoms!!! I guess that comes from life circumstances. Some feel the need and release...others don't.

After many years...I've stopped going. Cancelled my season ticket and now go to watch semi professional football. I love it...breath of fresh air.

City is massively ingrained in my soul. Grandfather, father and me. Everyday i think about the connection and good times. I watch from afar now, occasional game, read this every day. So it means something. I question myself. Why do I care,why do I bother, why do I put myself through the emotions every weekend that affect my mood?

Gone from really into it, to absolute couldn't care less tbh.

Regardless of results, it's been shit for many seasons. 

So without sounding like a complete knob...why do you care? How does following City make a difference in your life. Have you ever thought why am I following this shit and allowing it to affect my life so much?

You get one life...the owner and players enjoy everything away from football to the enth degree.

Yet you work all week to watch and accept this shit accross the board, for years, thinking it's going to be enjoyable, entertaining...and just what we do. If you don't do it...you aren't a real supporter.

Well I think real supporting is now confused. It's moved on.

We are now £££££££s...nothing more.

Go back to 82...Cooper etc. Nothing compares...but we still compare that ethos, work ethic, support, family feeling.

Excuses after excuses after excuses...it's literally laughable.

Yet we all sit as supporters writing on here our feelings and research. Hours of our life...

Just a thought...

 

 

[Eddie Notgetinya]

I wish I knew the answer.

I get as frustrated as everyone. I travel most weeks from Norwich. I could go to Carrow Road every week and it would take much less time out of my weekend, but I just can’t do it. I could go to Ipswich - same. I could go to Kings Lynn town but it’s not my team. I still love going and the good times will come again. Plus I want to share the bond of having something special with my son when he’s old enough to go and I want him to be City with me not Liverpool or Norwich or Chelsea.

However, in answer to your question, I don’t know why I care!!!!

[Bris Red]

3 minutes ago, Eddie Notgetinya said:

I wish I knew the answer.

I get as frustrated as everyone. I travel most weeks from Norwich. I could go to Carrow Road every week and it would take much less time out of my weekend, but I just can’t do it. I could go to Ipswich - same. I could go to Kings Lynn town but it’s not my team. I still love going and the good times will come again. Plus I want to share the bond of having something special with my son when he’s old enough to go and I want him to be City with me not Liverpool or Norwich or Chelsea.

However, in answer to your question, I don’t know why I care!!!!

Its the hope that the ‘’good times will come again’’ that keeps me so invested aswell.
 

You only have to look at Coventry a club that were in such dire straights both on and off the field not so long ago, they weren’t even playing in their home city FFS - it makes what we are going through now look so trivial but look where they are now.. if the good times can come back for Cov then they have to be on the horizon for us surely?

[Lew-T]

20 minutes ago, spudski said:

So without sounding like a complete knob...why do you care? How does following City make a difference in your life. Have you ever thought why am I following this shit and allowing it to affect my life so much?.

 

 

Simple really. 
 

For those rare moments of sheer jubilation from following your own team. The Man United game for example…

[lenred]

11 minutes ago, Eddie Notgetinya said:

I wish I knew the answer.

I get as frustrated as everyone. I travel most weeks from Norwich. I could go to Carrow Road every week and it would take much less time out of my weekend, but I just can’t do it. I could go to Ipswich - same. I could go to Kings Lynn town but it’s not my team. I still love going and the good times will come again. Plus I want to share the bond of having something special with my son when he’s old enough to go and I want him to be City with me not Liverpool or Norwich or Chelsea.

However, in answer to your question, I don’t know why I care!!!!

Coming from Norwich every other week is one hell of an effort, fair play to you. Must admit I find it a struggle to come over from Bishopston some weeks, given the state of the football for the last few seasons!  

[spudski]

6 minutes ago, Eddie Notgetinya said:

I wish I knew the answer.

I get as frustrated as everyone. I travel most weeks from Norwich. I could go to Carrow Road every week and it would take much less time out of my weekend, but I just can’t do it. I could go to Ipswich - same. I could go to Kings Lynn town but it’s not my team. I still love going and the good times will come again. Plus I want to share the bond of having something special with my son when he’s old enough to go and I want him to be City with me not Liverpool or Norwich or Chelsea.

However, in answer to your question, I don’t know why I care!!!!

I was the same for many years...and like you didn't have an answer. Then for whatever reason...clarity. Getting to midlife and realising there was more to life than following City. 

Whats the point of feeling depressed every weekend?

There literally hasn't been many times where it's been fun. Where it hasn't had a negative affect on your mood.

Since SL.its been empty promises.

Premier League in the waiting. Really? How stupid are we? Same old mistakes every season. One step forward, two steps back. 

Sad reading all the emotional posts on here, realising how much it means to so many and actually how many hours of their life they spend following or having an interest.

[Redstart]

When I was younger following City through everything was a real passion - 40 years on, sad to say it's becoming just a habit. 

[Shuffle]

Like most it probably starts with your dad or a relative taking you to the first game.  My first game was over 50 years ago and even though I was playing for local teams to a reasonable standard for years, my heart was always on what was happening at the Gate. Every game we weren’t playing home or away, I would go & that includes 82 when there weren’t many of us. 

Another factor was growing up in Keynsham most of my school was Gas at the time. I took pride in representing City as my team in whatever happened and that includes banter and skirmishes. I’m also an incredibly proud Bristolian and love my football team and worked all over the country and am always proud to say I support Bristol City only to be asked who my prem team is?

My personal take is that I support my local team & whilst it’s not been in the main pretty or successful, you cannot beat the buzz of a win against the odds and if I stop, I can guarantee that I will miss the best game in the clubs history.

If it’s in your blood then you will continue to commit both financially and emotionally & as I’m getting older, I find it more depressing when we lose and under perform.  Wish I wasn’t so engaged but in essence my dad passed on his love of Bristol City and despite moaning like mad, I’d be lost without them now as despite however much I Moan (especially this season). 
 

 

 

Edited November 7, 2021 by Shuffle

[A Horse With No Name]

Coming back on the coach yesterday a meme was doing the rounds.

" I love you, but I hate you.    I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you."

Isn't that exactly how we all feel about this football club of ours ?

 

[spudski]

2 minutes ago, Shuffle said:

Like most it probably starts with your dad or a relative taking you to the first game.  My first game was over 50 years ago and even though I was playing for local teams to a reasonable standard for years, my heart was always on what was happening at the Gate. Every game we weren’t playing home or away, I would go & that includes 82 when there weren’t many of us. 

Another factor was growing up in Keynsham most of my school was Gas at the time. I took pride in representing City as my team in whatever happened and that includes banter and skirmishes. I’m also an incredibly proud Bristolian and love my football team and worked all over the country and am always proud to say I support Bristol City only to be asked who my prem team is?

My personal take is that I support my local team & whilst it’s not been in the main pretty or successful, you cannot beat the buzz of a win against the odds and if I stop, I can guarantee that I will miss the best game in the clubs history.

If it’s in your blood then you will continue to commit both financially and emotionally & as I’m getting older, I find it more depressing when we lose and under perform.  Wish I wasn’t so engaged but in essence my dad passed on his love of Bristol City and despite moaning like mad, I’d be lost without them now as despite however much I Moan (especially this season), I’d be lost without it.
 

 

 

Your post in response resonates with me. So similar.

I guess I found solice elsewhere before you.

Trust me...I still feel something, wouldn't be writing this otherwise...but I do wonder how many feel totally disconnected like me.

Bearing in mind this decision was made after Pearson was appointment. 

 

 

[Eddie Notgetinya]

9 minutes ago, spudski said:

I was the same for many years...and like you didn't have an answer. Then for whatever reason...clarity. Getting to midlife and realising there was more to life than following City. 

Whats the point of feeling depressed every weekend?

There literally hasn't been many times where it's been fun. Where it hasn't had a negative affect on your mood.

Since SL.its been empty promises.

Premier League in the waiting. Really? How stupid are we? Same old mistakes every season. One step forward, two steps back. 

Sad reading all the emotional posts on here, realising how much it means to so many and actually how many hours of their life they spend following or having an interest.

Yes it’s frustrating but I actually live a very happy fulfilled life, but, for me, football enriches it. I miss it in the summer and I love Saturday afternoons. The noise, the smell of the burger vans, the crowd. I wouldn’t be without it weather I’m at Ashton Gate or sat in my lounge with Jeff Stelling. I don’t go every week but I’m so glad to at least have the option after the pandemic 

[tts_city]

Your life changes so much over the years, you need anchors, something constant in the sea of life, they are far from the best team, they are often a very shit team but they are my team and they will be until im pushing up the daises.

[spudski]

2 minutes ago, Eddie Notgetinya said:

Yes it’s frustrating but I actually live a very happy fulfilled life, but, for me, football enriches it. I miss it in the summer and I love Saturday afternoons. The noise, the smell of the burger vans, the crowd. I wouldn’t be without it weather I’m at Ashton Gate or sat in my lounge with Jeff Stelling. I don’t go every week but I’m so glad to at least have the option after the pandemic 

I do the same...but now with my local none league team.

I must admit... travelling and parking have made a massive influence in my decision. It was the tipping point so to speak .

[Norn Iron]

Great thread Spudski.

You nailed it regarding the TC years....and I was there.

Whether I was helping out the Junior Reds in the first 2 formative years as their steward or on Coach 2 or travelling by car....I was there. Why? Because BCFC was there.

I now live in Northern Ireland. In September I did what the photos below confirm. Why? Because it is in my blood. I'm not looking for acknowledgement.

There are a couple on here who can vouch for me but that's not the point. I went to all that planning 2 months ago because it's BCFC. I'm now a full time carer to my wife so extra planning was important.

Was it worth it? Yes.

A win was a bonus....and what a bonus at QPR.

Why though go to all that hassle? Because ever since the seventies this club has got into my blood. End of. 

It will always be the case.

 

PS are my shares from 1982 worth anything?

 

 

[Rossi the Robin]

I’m not sure tbf, it’s ridiculous really but just saying I support Bristol City makes me feel proud, even though we are shite

My dad used to watch both Bristol teams but for some reason in the late 80’s introduced me to city and I’m very grateful for that 

 

[Keepers Ball]

A very good question. And the thing is I'm being a fool to myself. i no longer enjoy it as i once did.

Been going since 1983 and a Season ticket holder since 2003 and the thing is i no longer get the buzz.

Why do I go? Three things and  only one is important.

1. my 13 year old Son

2. Habit

3. A fear of missing something

There are times Im glad we are away. I can no longer be bothered to travel.

And I dislike evening matches. I still go but truth be told, I'd sooner go home from work and relax. It didnt used to be the case. I guess its because Im older now

And yet I still have a hankering for us the be successful in some way. Sick of seeing "lesser Clubs" reap in more success. And when that happens it really does grate at me

 

So why do i care? I really don't know. I wish I knew....or did'nt

Edited November 7, 2021 by Keepers Ball

[robin_unreliant]

I think the obvious answer is that deep down I decided that bcfc is my 'tribe'. Humans are programmed to form groups. It's our equivalent of a shoal of fish. It gives us a better chance to survive and is deeply engrained over many thousands of years into our DNA. 

I'm just unlucky that I was born in Southville and my family were city fans. I never had a chance. 

[Show Me The Money!]

I come at this from a different angle. I moved around the country a bit in my pre secondary days and so have not been born with any ancestral loyalty to any team. When I moved to Bristol I went to watch City once with a friend and City have become my team since but I rarely go and watch them now? Why?

I loved playing football. Always beat sitting there watching others play. I never played a standard higher than park league but playing beat supporting any team for me and that feeds into how a support professional teams. City are my team and I want them to win but more important to me now is a love of just seeing good football whoever it is playing.

My little lad is just really getting into football now and Liverpool has become his team. I’d love him to support City but to be really honest I’d just love him to love football like I do.

My old man wasn’t much of a football fan, it was my grandad on my mum’s side that got me into football and I like to think I follow it in the same way that he did in that I just love the sport and who I follow comes second.

 

[GrahamC]

I think it’s a really interesting original post.

I think my answer is this;

My Dad (80 now still goes), he brought me up as a City fan, he’s originally from BS3, I live there now.

I’m not religious, politically homeless so what do I actually believe in?

My part of Bristol & my football club, that’s what. I used to go home & away for a few years & do a number of away games after that, but managed to kick that habit a while ago.

After my family & friends (& work) City are pretty high up on the things that take up my time & think about.

I get why people lose interest (often once a relationship becomes serious) or dispirited & stop going, as life is all about choices.

What I’ll never understand though is being a plastic Premiership fan.

[RedNachos]

1 minute ago, robin_unreliant said:

I think the obvious answer is that deep down I decided that bcfc is my 'tribe'. Humans are programmed to form groups. It's our equivalent of a shoal of fish. It gives us a better chance to survive and is deeply engrained over many thousands of years into our DNA. 

I'm just unlucky that I was born in Southville and my family were city fans. I never had a chance. 

I think thats bang on.

For me it has similarities of why people play the lottery, most of the time you'll be left feeling shite, but that one in a hundred game, where the fan next to you suddenly becomes your best mate, and a place starts rocking. That's why we do it, we're scared to miss out on that magic feeling, because when it comes down to it that feeling is something that can't be bought.

But with Chris Martin up top I don't see that feeling coming anytime soon

[exAtyeoMax]

At the moment City is very much a distraction both online as social media and going to matches. Lockdown wasn’t particularly hard but not being able to really talk to anyone and being surrounded by idiots (that I actually know) on social media spouting constant rubbish about all subjects, and spouting negativity about everything, reading otib and listening to podcasts, watching Robinstv was a lifeline and refuge from the shite that was going on in the real world.

I don’t feel so connected to the club as I once did. The Mashton years, and SL post league one promotion put paid to that. It still rankles that they deliberately dismantled Cott’s squad and destroyed that momentum and feel good factor that had developed. It felt so wrong at the time, I knew it. They had made a massive mistake and we are certainly paying the price now. 

I still have my season ticket and still look forward to home games, I haven’t been able to get to any away games yet. I like the people I sit with, we have a laugh. I just don’t have that expectation or belief anymore that we will be successful, I really bought into what the club told me to some extent but it doesn’t wash anymore.

The primary connection to the club is my dad. I never got to go to a game with him, he died in 1989, also my grandad but he died before I was born. Carrying on the family tradition of following city. 
 

I watched a tiny bit of the FA Cup earlier. What football is, or should be about. Desire, commitment, excitement, and a pitch invasion. Brilliant.

[spudski]

15 minutes ago, Norn Iron said:

Great thread Spudski.

You nailed it regarding the TC years....and I was there.

Whether I was helping out the Junior Reds in the first 2 formative years as their steward or on Coach 2 or travelling by car....I was there. Why? Because BCFC was there.

I now live in Northern Ireland. In September I did what the photos below confirm. Why? Because it is in my blood. I'm not looking for acknowledgement.

There are a couple on here who can vouch for me but that's not the point. I went to all that planning 2 months ago because it's BCFC. I'm now a full time carer to my wife so extra planning was important.

Was it worth it? Yes.

A win was a bonus....and what a bonus at QPR.

Why though go to all that hassle? Because ever since the seventies this club has got into my blood. End of. 

It will always be the case.

 

PS are my shares from 1982 worth anything?

 

 

I completely understand your feelings. Tbh...everytime I've moved and worked abroad, I've become more interested in my heritage and more proud.

I remember for instance hating the Wurzels and our connection with them. Thought they made us look backward.

Moved to Canada for a while and weirdly became the proudest Bristolian, City fan ..an got the wurzles.

I get that everyone has a story, a connection, a reason. Just like myself. We all have some love...we wouldn't come on here otherwise.

However...surely there comes a point where at some point we all go..that's it?

I guess we all have a point. Circumstances, feelings, etc

[Davefevs]

43 minutes ago, Shuffle said:

Like most it probably starts with your dad or a relative taking you to the first game.  My first game was over 50 years ago and even though I was playing for local teams to a reasonable standard for years, my heart was always on what was happening at the Gate. Every game we weren’t playing home or away, I would go & that includes 82 when there weren’t many of us. 

Another factor was growing up in Keynsham most of my school was Gas at the time. I took pride in representing City as my team in whatever happened and that includes banter and skirmishes. I’m also an incredibly proud Bristolian and love my football team and worked all over the country and am always proud to say I support Bristol City only to be asked who my prem team is?

My personal take is that I support my local team & whilst it’s not been in the main pretty or successful, you cannot beat the buzz of a win against the odds and if I stop, I can guarantee that I will miss the best game in the clubs history.

If it’s in your blood then you will continue to commit both financially and emotionally & as I’m getting older, I find it more depressing when we lose and under perform.  Wish I wasn’t so engaged but in essence my dad passed on his love of Bristol City and despite moaning like mad, I’d be lost without them now as despite however much I Moan (especially this season). 
 

 

 

Much the same Shuffs.

My dad took me until he started managing my junior team and I then always played on a Saturday.  We’d go to odd games in mid / late 80s if my game was off.

I then didn’t really go again until I took Joe in 13/14 under SOD.  Father and son bonding.  I’m sure if Joe wasn’t in a wheelchair I’d be helping with his junior team etc.  So it replaces my equivalent teenage years.

City are my local team, but I’m a football fan at heart.  In fact I’m a sports fan really.

[spudski]

23 minutes ago, robin_unreliant said:

I think the obvious answer is that deep down I decided that bcfc is my 'tribe'. Humans are programmed to form groups. It's our equivalent of a shoal of fish. It gives us a better chance to survive and is deeply engrained over many thousands of years into our DNA. 

I'm just unlucky that I was born in Southville and my family were city fans. I never had a chance. 

A very interesting thought.

I've never been a follower...part of the ' tribe'. I hated it. Always made my own groove so to speak.

There is always a leader... someone that influences. Whether SL or someone who influences the supporters.

You're either a leader, follower or someone who lives life by their own rules influenced by balanced views.

I find it interesting how we as supporters analysis, react weekly, by performances every weekly.

I think SL is lucky to have so many people under the spell so to speak.

[MelksRed]

Sadly, I'm starting to care less about attending. My son has started to opt not to go to AG. If anything SL needs to consider the impact of the current situation not just on the current fans cohort.....but the future fan cohort. 

My son has resisted the draw of the PL hoping that he will see his team there. He's been laughed at and poked fun at for supporting City but continues to do so. If someone needs to give the team a chat on motivation I'm sure he'd agree. 

This team is aging me, my stress release now exacerbates not releases my stress levels.

Close to calling it a day. 

:o(

[robin_unreliant]

2 minutes ago, spudski said:

A very interesting thought.

I've never been a follower...part of the ' tribe'. I hated it. Always made my own groove so to speak.

I think most people would feel that they plough their own furrow and hate to think they are just a sheep. The reality imho is that humans have deeply engrained instincts that drive our actions and a lot of people are in denial about it. 

[spudski]

12 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

Much the same Shuffs.

My dad took me until he started managing my junior team and I then always played on a Saturday.  We’d go to odd games in mid / late 80s if my game was off.

I then didn’t really go again until I took Joe in 13/14 under SOD.  Father and son bonding.  I’m sure if Joe wasn’t in a wheelchair I’d be helping with his junior team etc.  So it replaces my equivalent teenage years.

City are my local team, but I’m a football fan at heart.  In fact I’m a sports fan really.

Fair play Dave.

Similar playing background.

Would you feel so happy if every home 3pm KO...would mean an 11.30 am start and ball ache to get to the ground either by car or public transport?

The majority of my friends have given up this season for a culmination of reasons. Mainly travelling.

I think the Club and council need serious consultation.

There are literally 3 main routes into Bristol. Every week there is a road closed, road works, detour, public transport cancelled, late etc. List goes on.

Literally want to wake up Saturday, circumstances allow me to get to game, buy a ticket on gate and support my team 

Not plan a week ahead like it's an expedition to the South pole. And that's on top of the crap running of the club. Many feel the same.

Some paid season tickets and been once.

 

[spudski]

10 minutes ago, MelksRed said:

Sadly, I'm starting to care less about attending. My son has started to opt not to go to AG. If anything SL needs to consider the impact of the current situation not just on the current fans cohort.....but the future fan cohort. 

My son has resisted the draw of the PL hoping that he will see his team there. He's been laughed at and poked fun at for supporting City but continues to do so. If someone needs to give the team a chat on motivation I'm sure he'd agree. 

This team is aging me, my stress release now exacerbates not releases my stress levels.

Close to calling it a day. 

:o(

Feel your pain.

[ZiderEyed]

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/23750472.2020.1866650?needAccess=true&journalCode=rmle21

Something to read for you all. 

[spudski]

10 minutes ago, robin_unreliant said:

I think most people would feel that they plough their own furrow and hate to think they are just a sheep. The reality imho is that humans have deeply engrained instincts that drive our actions and a lot of people are in denial about it. 

Totally agree.,see it everyday. Denial often means they know the truth but can't be arsed...but the undeniable fact was down to background, circumstances, confidence. 

It's why we end up in the mess we are when leading the country.

So many followers  that never question, but complain when it goes tits up. Same with us.

Owners of clubs, leaders of country get complained about...makes headlines, yet within days it's chip paper.

We as fans...if you keep going, financially, will make no difference, regardless of complaints on here.