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Rocket up the A*rse Required for our players


Abraham Romanovich

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1 hour ago, Abraham Romanovich said:

Just seen this story from the Bristol Post

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bomb-squad-called-gloucestershire-royal-6298076

Let's be honest who amongst us hasn't tripped and ended with a mortar shell up their 'arris

 

Reminds me of a similar story from a nursing friend when instead of a mortar shell it was a bottle of HP “source” (eyes watering yet?).  Allegedly, locked out, climbed in through kitchen window, slipped on the drainer and impaired himself.

Q1 from Nurse, why were your trousers round your ankles?

Q2 why was there a condom on the bottle? ???

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39 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

Reminds me of a similar story from a nursing friend when instead of a mortar shell it was a bottle of HP “source” (eyes watering yet?).  Allegedly, locked out, climbed in through kitchen window, slipped on the drainer and impaired himself.

Q1 from Nurse, why were your trousers round your ankles?

Q2 why was there a condom on the bottle? ???

Wasn’t that a Ricky gervais joke ? ?

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41 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

Reminds me of a similar story from a nursing friend when instead of a mortar shell it was a bottle of HP “source” (eyes watering yet?).  Allegedly, locked out, climbed in through kitchen window, slipped on the drainer and impaired himself.

Q1 from Nurse, why were your trousers round your ankles?

Q2 why was there a condom on the bottle? ???

Ah, the old Source bottle up the arse, one of the great urban myths of our time.  Not a single doctor or nurse who’s worked on casualty doesn’t claim to have seen it!  ??

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7 minutes ago, The Dolman Pragmatist said:

Ah, the old Source bottle up the arse, one of the great urban myths of our time.  Not a single doctor or nurse who’s worked on casualty doesn’t claim to have seen it!  ??

My son, who is now a GP, used to work in A&E in his early days. One day they had a lady in complaining of a violent itch 'downstairs'. Son had a thorough look around and a good rummage and found a small, hard object that seemed to be the source of the problem.  Upon though investigation it turned out to be a scrunched up, sticky blue label bearing the word 'Fyffes', the like of which you see on bananas. The lady offered no explanation and expressed surprise at the discovery.

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2 hours ago, Calculus said:

My son, who is now a GP, used to work in A&E in his early days. One day they had a lady in complaining of a violent itch 'downstairs'. Son had a thorough look around and a good rummage and found a small, hard object that seemed to be the source of the problem.  Upon though investigation it turned out to be a scrunched up, sticky blue label bearing the word 'Fyffes', the like of which you see on bananas. The lady offered no explanation and expressed surprise at the discovery.

Someone i used to know was at cranfield military hospital,,,, one of the less popular recruits ended up having a live hand grenade inserted in him,,, with the pin still in obviously,,,, though there was some hesitation about how to get it out with dislodging the pin.

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6 minutes ago, Simon bristol said:

Someone i used to know was at cranfield military hospital,,,, one of the less popular recruits ended up having a live hand grenade inserted in him,,, with the pin still in obviously,,,, though there was some hesitation about how to get it out with dislodging the pin.

I’m calling BS on that. Quartermasters are really hot on the issue of live grenades. They would know if someone was about to follow one through

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5 hours ago, The Dolman Pragmatist said:

Ah, the old Source bottle up the arse, one of the great urban myths of our time.  Not a single doctor or nurse who’s worked on casualty doesn’t claim to have seen it!  ??

Same as the vibrator version….do you want it removed or a fresh set of batteries!

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