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City trial punishments for young pitch invaders seeking players' shirts


Curr Avon

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Following an outcry from their elderly fan base, Bristol City have announced punitive punishments for any young fans foolish enough to invade the Ashton Gate turf at the full-time whistle in Championship matches, to beg for players' shirts (for their fathers to sell on Ebay).

Last night's successful trial saw Cuthbert Cross, aged 12, of Little Southville Terrace, Little Southville, forced to watch his club's entire debacle against Barnsley, whilst wearing a straitjacket, with clamps stretching open his ever fearful eyes, and a stream of drops cascading upon them.

image.jpeg.30f7f01c1f4fbb1fbd36c125aa61609a.jpeg

 Cuthbert recoiling from Hellik's header for 0-2

Despite several ear piercing screams that greeted City's defensive howlers, club officials hailed the trial a success. Cuthbert agreed.

"That's the last time I'll ask for Danny Simpson's shirt!" 

A club spokesman added, "If you thought that was bad, you should see the show we have lined up for the Bournemouth game."

Youngsters beware. 

(None of this is true, except for our performance against Barnsley)

Edited by Curr Avon
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