devonred Posted October 30, 2003 Report Share Posted October 30, 2003 * I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' * When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. * I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. * A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. * My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. * Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. * I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough." * If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat? * I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. * You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. * Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. * I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. * right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. * I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pogue mahone Posted October 30, 2003 Report Share Posted October 30, 2003 hate to disappoint you, but they are definitely not peter kay one liners. more than likely to be tim vine, judging by the style of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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